I didn't always want to write about games, you know. For example, earlier I wanted to eat some crisps. Then I wanted to go to the loo. I've achieved all these things and more. And, if Big Brain Academy is to be believed, that's only the tip of my potential, which floats along on a sea of genius ripping the hulls off the schooners of failure.
I could've worked in fashion, or as an FBI profiler ("this FBI walks peculiarly and spends lots of time in Starbucks wearing sunglasses," I might have reported), or even been a doctor if I'd wanted to. And had I actually done that, and wrapped a stethoscope round my neck convincingly, I would be able to speak with alarm about the idea, promoted by Big Brain Academy's headmaster (who looks a bit like a Twiglet wearing an anvil), that my brain's 400 grams heavier than it was yesterday. No wonder I have a headache.
See, whereas Prof. Kawashima's Brain Training game measures your brain's age, allowing you to chip away at it once a day after a bit of warm-up on reading and doing sums, Big Brain Academy puts you through a different battery of tests and tells you what it reckons your brain weighs as a result and what kind of job you could do with it.