David Jaffe pulls out of keynote

Hello and welcome to Room 3005 in the Moscone Center's West Hall - all 250 seats of it. Well, one, since I'm the only one typing anything. This is probably going to be really dull. Still, thanks for joining us! David Jaffe will take to the podium at 6.30pm GMT. Hopefully he'll talk about something new and slag people off, since we always enjoy that.

No sign of The Lion.

Jaffe used to work at Sony Santa Monica, where he did God of War. He'll probably talk about that. He now runs a company called Eat Sleep Play, which is doing a PS3 Twisted Metal game having just finished a PS2 port of the PSP one. His close relationship with Sony and the fact nobody else at Sony bothered to show up this week means this is about as close as you're getting to a PS3 conference.

Brilliant. David Jaffe has actually pulled out. He's not coming. This is quite possibly the funniest thing that's ever happened to me. Or not happened to me.