Picture of Patrick Garratt

Patrick Garratt


UEFA Champions League 2004-2005

Club football hits the big league. But you already bought FIFA, right?

The Incredibles

But will it send the littluns into an incredible sulk?

Crash 'n' Burn

Another surprisingly good arcade racing game. Not what we expected at all.

The Urbz: Sims in the City

Inspired, technically suave PC blockbuster gets youthalised.

The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age

EA's first Middle Earth-based RPG. The beards are twitching. Is it a perfectly flighted arrow or a drunk dwarf smacking his head on a pub doorframe?

Samurai Warriors

Koei takes an ailing horse and beats some life back into it. Just.


A 'hair's breadth' from being legendary, reckons our Pat...

Metal Slug 3

Aliens, lasers, monkeys and a camel with a machine gun. If it was longer, we'd be settling down together and planning a family.

Shark Tale

Will Smith, Angelina Jolie and a bucket of fish. You people really are disgusting, you know that?

X-Men Legends

One-eyed freak and knife fetishist join bald man in effort to save world. And they let children play this, you say...

Dynasty Warriors 4: Empires

We originally thought it said 'Vampires'. That would've been more interesting.

Def Jam: Fight For New York

The Iceberg gives us respec', bro. Because we kicked him half to death. Weirdo.

Madden NFL 2005

Only EA could make a sport you don't understand about men who think pushing people over and shot-gunning 'Bud' is a way of life massively enjoyable. It's Maddening. We kill ourselves.


Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is put them to sleep, you know. They go to cat heaven. Apart from Catwoman, which will roast in the most virulent fires of hell. Shame. Nice coat.

World War Zero: Ironstorm

The war's different, but the tactics are the same.

Smash Court Tennis Pro Tournament 2

Japanese tennis brings hardcore RPG action to the hallowed greens of the All England Club, if you can believe that. New balls, etc.

This Is Football 2004

Unless you're from Sweden, you probably won't have much cause to celebrate this evening. Still, at least now you can go online and seek revenge!