Picture of Kieron Gillen

Kieron Gillen

Contributor

Kieron is one of the founders of the lovely Rock, Paper, Shotgun and nowadays writes comics for Marvel starring characters that even his mum has heard of.

Darkfall Online

We can't be friends, we can't be enemies.

Drakensang: The Dark Eye

I love a party with a happy atmosphere +4.

The Path

As far off the beaten one as you can imagine.

Ninja Blade

The panto Ninja Gaiden.

Project: Aftermath

Aftermath you can count better.

Empire: Total War

When life gives you cannons, make Cannonade.

Halo Wars

Warthogs and all.

F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin

There's nothing to fear.

Biology Battle

Must... have... child... before... 35.

Weapon of Choice

The right to choose. Guns.

AC/DC Live: Rock Band

Schoolboy error.

Grand Theft Auto IV

It's finally PC. But not very PC, natch.

Left 4 Dead

It's braining men.

The Witcher: Enhanced Edition

More bewitching than ever.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky

Restraining orders.

Spore Creature Creator

Ironically, not evolutionary: revolutionary.

Mass Effect

Pause for effect.

RedLynx Trials 2: Second Edition

Trials trial version also available!

Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath

The Scrin-er takes it all.

Sins of a Solar Empire

Why not be a dirty sinner?

Armageddon Empires

Mad Hex: Return to Thunderroll.

Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer

Fantasy Adventure: Noun of the Noun.

Medieval II: Total War Kingdoms

Coming to America. And Lithuania.

UFO: Extraterrestrials

Extratesticular?

Overlord

Gangs of New Orcs.

Shadowrun

The Dark Future of Cross-format shooting?

War Rock

In other news, War Paper and War Scissors announced.

Earth Defence Force 2017

A 3D Ant Attack for the noughties.

Heroes of Might & Magic V: Hammers of Fate

It's Christmas time. But should you get hammered?

Neverwinter Nights 2

Winter: it'll all be over by Christmas [spring, surely - Ed].

Dark Messiah of Might & Magic

Just might or all magic?

Defcon

Do you want to play a game?

Company of Heroes

In the Company of Ico, Deus Ex...

Call of Juarez

The Call of the Wild West.

Sid Meier's Civilization IV Warlords

Want to play? Join the build queue.

Darkstar One

Like Singstar, but space-sim tradier.

Rome: Total War - Alexander

Gordian knot? Gordian, yes.

Rise of Nations: Rise of Legends

Put your feet up and play.

Guild Wars: Factions

Lights! Camera! Faction!

The War on Terror

The war on the War on Terror.

Act of War: High Treason

High spirits on the high sea, but feeling rum.

Buzz! The Big Quiz

Come on down! And the mark too!

Empire Earth 2: The Art of Supremacy

Less Art of War, more Art of More.

Tycoon City: New York

I want to make a part of it!

Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space

Our five-minute mission to explore strange new worlds.

Battlefield 2: Special Forces

Special? How special?

The Sims 2 Christmas

Christmas is coming and the accountants are getting fat.

RollerCoaster Tycoon 3: Wild!

The Really Wild, shown

The Movies

"I like to Movies, movies" - The Mad Stuntman, mishearing.

City of Villains

Leave Bristol alone.

Civilization 4

Be Civil. Itís the right thing to do.

First-Person Shooter Creator

Move over, Valve. Eurogamer, taking ovvvvahhh.

Serious Sam 2

Insane in the membrane.

Spartan: Total Warrior

More godlike than God of War?

Space Rangers

Old Firm battles with Space Celtic ensue.

Rome: Total War - Barbarian Invasion

Less fashionable than Rome: Total War Barbie Invasion.

Colosseum: Road to Freedom

Colosseum: Road to Boredom, more like.

Dungeon Siege II

DUNGeon siege, more like. Er... except not.

Earth 2160

EA's yearly update improves tank handling from the 2159 edition.

Madagascar

Madagascar? BADagascar, more like. Except not that bad, actually.

Battlefield 2

Don't bring a gun to a tankfight. Except an anti-tank gun. That's okay.

RollerCoaster Tycoon 3: Soaked!

Water, water everywhere. Sell tickets.

Alien Hominid

"Illegal alien, signed up." "Anyone ever mistook you for a man" "Etc."

Imperial Glory

Metric Dishonour.

Boiling Point: Road To Hell

A three-point turn.

Guild Wars

Gilded gold stars all round.

Stronghold 2

Gripping.

Empire Earth II

The Empire Earth strikes back.

Cossacks 2: Napoleonic Wars

Much like the Neapolitan wars, but with less strawberry.

The Matrix Online

In the immortal words of the Eurovision song contest, Neo points.

SWAT 4

To get to the head of the tactical shooter class, you have to swat.

The Sims 2 University

Off topic, but will someone please remake Skool Daze? Cheers.

Playboy: The Mansion

From High Def Gaming to Die Hef Gaming? For those of you who read the articles...

Act of War: Direct Action

Not the "Lights! Camera! Action!" kind of Direct Action.

Darwinia

Games evolving into its own little niche.

The Settlers: Heritage Of Kings

"Heritage of Kings". As in "inbred and a little stunted".

World of Warcraft

Got the whole world in his hands +4.

Immortal Cities: Children of the Nile

Why did the Egyptian Swimmer go to the psychologist? Coz he was living in... oh, forget it.

Forgotten Realms: Demon Stone

Fear the Deadly Shiny Pebble. Fear it.

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

The Old Knights of the Old Republic made new. Ish.

Alexander

Much like The Hitman and Her for the pre-Romans.

Zoo Tycoon 2

"Mommy! What's that monkey doing?" "Move along, dear."

Sid Meier's Pirates!

Kieron Gillen's Review!

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines

Stop the press. Review in just in time to meet its Undeadline.

City of Heroes

More ill-advised spandex than a The Darkness tribute band convention.

Rollercoaster Tycoon 3

Supa-dupa looper-troopa. Iíll stop.

Fable

Save the world. Also, philander.

Kohan II: Kings of War

War. It's fantastic.

Rome: Total War

Do as the Romans do.

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War

Considerable improvements over last year's Warhammer 39,999.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Kieron Gillen's only a master of evil...