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John Teti


John Teti is a writer and producer based in New York. His interests include games, TV, cake, and being a writer and producer based in New York.

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Retrospective: SSX 3

Flying solo.

SSX 3 was ostensibly the first game in EA's legendary snowboarding series to feature online play. I say "ostensibly" because whenever I bothered to string an ethernet cable across the room and connect my PS2 to the EA mothership, my reward was an empty lobby. Nothing could have been more fitting. SSX 3 is not a game about community or friendly competition; rather, it shows us the bliss of achieving greatness in solitude. It was among the last games of its kind.

Skate 3

Shred & Grind Inc.

In Skate 3, as the old T-shirt slogan goes, "skateboarding is not a crime" - and even if it were, it would be a white-collar crime. Departing from the anti-establishment trappings of Skate 2, the latest game in EA's kiss-our-butt-Tony-Hawk series is a tale of skateboarder as capitalist. After founding a new skateboard company, you set out to move 1,000,000 units. ("I have to pay for my summer home," growls your delightful business partner.)

Cave Story

Give in.

What the hell kind of a name is Cave Story, anyway? Come on, sex it up a little, leverage the IP against your core demographics. At least stick a subtitle in there, and let everyone know that you're building an international franchise. Try this on for size: "Tunnel Assassin HD: The First Descent." It's like I'm printing money over here.

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