These days, I write about board games as much as I write about video games. In truth, I probably play board games more. But to me, a game is a game. And so I can't help but compare what's on offer in the board and card game world to what's on offer on the video game scene.
Last week a report released by Scottish Enterprise and Creative Scotland claimed that the Scottish games industry had a value of zero. This zero is apparently a result of the sector having a monetary value of less than £10m, which the report rounded down to f*** all. The report also claimed that less than 200 people are actually employed within the sector, which is less than the amount employed by Greggs, and less than you'll find queuing outside any Greggs in Dundee. It's one pretty crazy report.
I used to present a BBC show about video games. There were three series in total, with the last series this ridiculous sprawling thing with two TV specials and about 18 online episodes. It was hard work, often fun work, and barely anybody watched any of it. We existed in a time before the iPlayer, and the show went out on BBC Scotland in a late night slot. We were commissioned by a guy at BBC Scotland called Ewan Angus, and I remember his sole pointer being "I don't want to understand a word of it." There are very few heroes on the broadcast side of television, but Ewan Angus is often one of them. It was a brave commission, and I haven't seen anything like it since.
I write this at eight in the morning on the day you will read it. I've been up all night, having spent almost an entire day in a new world.
When I was a young boy, I bought a book from a jumble sale.
I spent the weekend at the island.
What if you can't afford a game?
Do you ever wonder what it's like to be one of them?
Nothing you are about to read is real. All of this is simply an idea, planted, left to grow.
"Hey, congratulations! You da boss now. Come in! This is your office! Take a seat in that executive leather chair. Spin around and look at the view! What do you think? Beautiful, isn't it? You da boss now! It's all gravy from here on in, baby! Enjoy!"
Everything is wonderful and games are fantastic. We are in a video game golden age.
My name is Robert Florence, and we are going to have a fight.