Few creatures have ever been as ferociously tribal as the '90s Apple fan. It may be difficult to imagine now that Apple is the richest entity on the planet, but the '90s were not a good time for the company. Windows 3.1 wrecked Mac OS's special snowflake status, and Apple's own executives seemed hellbent on finishing the job with an endless succession of lousy-yet-expensive computers (eg the underpowered $7,500 20th Anniversary Mac) and interesting-yet-underbaked ideas (eg the Newton PDA).
Over in America, we have a thing called the Center for Disease Control, or CDC. You've probably heard of it, because any time a movie involves a virulent global disease or zombie apocalypse or something, the CDC gets called in to flail ineffectually at the problem before it spirals out of control and ravages the planet. They're the Lieutenant Worf of pandemics, basically.
Greetings, denizens of Eurogamer. Your regular epistolary pal, Jaz Rignall, is off taking a vacation in Hawaii - I believe that's the America equivalent of going on holiday to the Canary Islands? While the rest of us shiver beneath a blanket of snow, he's sitting on a blanket on the sand beneath a big umbrella sipping a fruity drink that contains a much smaller umbrella, like some fractal equation of total relaxation. This means he's much too busy to bother with his weekly column, so you'll have to settle for a letter from me, an actual American.