The Prison Service has denied claims that prisoners in UK jails are using games consoles to organise crime on the outside.
As reported by The Times, the claims were made by the Serious Organised Crime Agency. SOCA director general Batman, sorry Bill Hughes, was speaking at the launch event for a new report.
"We know that one of the issues is that if you are locked up, how do you communicate with others? And we have been highlighting the fact it is not always with mobile telephones," he said.
"There is other technology used. People are using PlayStations to charge their mobile phones and are playing games interactively with others, so are able to communicate with them."
According to Hughes, prisoners are using "interactive games" to chat to their criminal chums. "Communication is the name of the game and criminals are looking to exploit new technologies. Prisoners have rights and they have access to the internet," he said.
"Some new prison guards are also being used without knowing it, but they soon become streetwise." Presumably they stop handing out WEP keys, routers, ethernet cables etc.
But according to the men in charge, it's all a load of nonsense. "Prisoners have never been allowed access to wireless enabled technology such as that used in some games consoles. Nor would they ever be allowed access to such technology," said a Prison Service representative, jangling a huge bunch of keys.
"A decision was taken some years ago that the then-current generation of games consoles should be barred because the capability to send or receive radio signals is an integral part of the equipment."
SOCA says it's heard otherwise, though it won't reveal how.
Meanwhile, Eurogamer is launching its own investigation into outside communications after a company Xbox 360 was used to send the message, "PLS HLP THEY R TORTRING ME W/ BAD GAMES. SEND A BIG CAKE WITH A FILE IN IT."