Lavod Corporation has announced that it has a pair of MP3 players ideally suited to those of you who feel no need to distinguish between serviettes and toilet paper.
Indeed, the PocketPlay 320 and 350 are designed to appeal to fans of combining things, offering as they do the opportunity to listen to music (in the 350's case, WMAs as well as MP3s) and play 8-bit Sega games on their 2.4-inch TFT displays.
As you can see from the picture (let's hope he uploads it this time!), both are dinky little devices but, rather as you do when you reach for Bounty-the-stronger-soaker-upper following the expenditure of Andrex, once you cross purposes you will discover surprising depth to the proposition. (Metaphorically speaking, they'd certainly block the loo.)
That's because the 320 offers 20 Sega games and the 350 offers 10. These include the likes of Sonic Chaos, Ecco the Dolphin, Sonic Spinball, Columns and Fantasy Zone. Both have TV outputs too, so they're practically consoles. The 350 also features an SD Card slot and a USB 2.0 port.
Lavod's press release doesn't mention pricing, but apparently both will be available from various distributors in Germany, Switzerland and Austria from April, so you might be able to track them down through grey importers.
Or, if you actually do harbour some misplaced desire to scratch a retro itch and you're not just reading this far to see if I can do any more crap jokes, you could just buy one of the many Sega compilations for your existing consoles instead. Since they will almost certainly be cheaper and better.
You won't be able to play them on the loo, obviously, but then not everything you do in the lounge or kitchen has to be, does it?