Fans of rubbish film properties unite! This week we have not one, but two rubbish film-based games! SCi and Pivotal's The Great Escape, though backed by chart-topping IP, is reportedly unfantastic, which makes us sad pandas. Likewise, The Italian Job: LA Heist, whilst apparently a fairly moreish little racing game involving Minis, has about as much style as a pink polka dot tie at a tartan summit - it certainly doesn't come close to Michael Caine's romp around Italy. Literally, too. It's set in Los Angeles. It doesn't even have Marky-Mark, or Marky-Mark falling off a cliff - something of a missed opportunity in our view. Nevertheless, if Eidos can lend us Charlize Theron for the weekend, then we'll happily give it 11 out of 10.
Obviously, though, fans of modern computing devices needn't concern themselves with such tripe. Instead, they can tuck their teeth into easily the most exciting, important and [all sorts of other words] game this week - Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic on Xbox. Like a choir of televangelists stuck on repeat, the Xbox mags are heralding this as the arrival of yet another 'best thing since Halo'. And yet much to our delight, Knights of the Old Republic is the absolute opposite of Blinx - the last game to attract such an accolade. It's so special, in fact, that we'll be drafting in reinforcements to help bring you our verdict. Oh yes. It'll give you Wookiee. Watch out for that one later in the day, you filthy little nerfherder!
Fans of RPGs on other platforms needn't cry, either. Unless you're a Cube owner. Obviously crying is the only solution for you - there certainly aren't any interesting games to play. Unless you count Madden. I mean, it's not that Madden is bad, because it's bound to be at the top of its game, packed with stats and really good at being an American Football game. But in a land where the sport is called "American Football", it just isn't going to make headway. We just do not care. And anybody who does certainly doesn't need our blessing to go and buy it.
Anyway, as we were saying before FOOTBAWL distracted us: RPG fans should be happy whether they're Xbox owners or not. Dark Chronicle finally makes it out this week - the much-improved follow-up to Dark Cloud (known simply as Dark Cloud 2 in Yankland) - and PC fans can pick from the likes of Enclave (if it really is out), which is a sort of role-player, and Lionheart. And of course the latest EverQuest expansion, the Lost Dungeons of Norrath.
Finally this week, we have an odd couple of PC titles - Codemasters' IndyCar Series, which according to our beloved Ronan is unreasonably enjoyable, and Wildlife Park, which is a bad rip-off of Zoo Tycoon.
Join us again next week as the Christmas rush continues to hot up, and over several games will be released.
- Dark Chronicle (PS2)
- Enclave (PC) - out but no stock
- EverQuest: Lost Dungeons of Norrath (PC)
- Galactic Civilisations (PC)
- IndyCar Series (PC)
- Lionheart (PC)
- Madden NFL 2004 (PS2, Xbox, Cube, PC)
- Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (Xbox)
- The Great Escape (PC)
- The Italian Job: LA Heist (PS2, Xbox, Cube)
- Wildlife Park (PC)