Dig Dug on Live Arcade

It's a little known fact that I would like to retire and play Super Nintendo RPGs all day. I have no time for you and your "modern games", and last night I had a dream where I kept a big folder of all your misdeeds. This morning I am going to make that folder a reality, and in the meantime I'm going to set off a download of Dig Dug on Xbox Live Arcade, because that looks old and we've got to stick together.

Dig Dug's only little, at 11.57MB, costs 400 Microsoft points and, like Namco Bandai's other Xbox Live Arcade offerings, has whopping great borders down the side to remind you that you're going back in time via a Crayola factory - with 12 achievements, online leaderboards and those ever-popular "enhanced graphics" available to those who I despise. You can of course download a trial version, too.

And you can do all of that now. And-and I suspect one of us will stick a spade in the underground puzzling hero sometime later in the week, whereupon we'll probably increase our Google rank for the phrase "pumping 10ps", which - thanks is no small part to our efforts - is on an even Internet keel with" Trouble with your penis?"