Hi, hello and how do you do.
Well, that was something! Microsoft carried its powerful march towards the new generation with a good showing at XO18, with news of new studio acquisitions while it shored up the already impressive Game Pass for Xbox and plenty more besides. Here's everything as it happened.
So, is it 8pm or 9pm? We've recently switched to daylight savings, so we are on BST, not GMT, which would place the start as 8pm. the article is a little confusing.
We're on GMT!
So the event doesn't start for another 50 minutes. I hope.
I just wanted to check in and say I'm alive, not that drunk *yet* and that, all going well, we'll be kicking off in under an hour.
And good evening to you Martin!
If JSRF is not announced, can I trust Martin to boo at the stage?
I'm in Lewisham for this and quite far from Mexico, but I can boo pretty loud so I'll do what I can.
Is this event likely to be interesting? Never heard of it before and what does XO stand for? X Ox? Kiss off?
It's Kiss Off 2018. All the execs, snogging each other into oblivion, live for our entertainment for two hours. It's going to be mint.
Is there a drinking game set up for tonight? Eg: a shot every time someone mentions â€śworlds most powerful consoleâ€ť
I'm playing! I haven't thought of many rules beyond 'drink this bottle of cheap red until it's finished' but it should be fun!
Just under ten minutes to go.
Charge your glasses.
What to expect, then?
Not much, to be blunt - this isn't going to be like an E3 conference - but still I'm expecting more than what we got the last time I tuned in for one of these Inside Xbox specials for that dreadful Gamescom episode.
So some updates on existing games, a light sprinkling of news and a lot of Major Nelson doing what he does, whatever that is.
And Jet Set Radio Future to back-compat, of course.
(I think because music licensing issues that's never going to happen, sadly. Also as much as I love that game it looks too much like a ketamine hangover with its weird on-brand green palette).
Diablo 4 is gonna get announced here, I'm sure of it.
This pre-show tune's a banger, mind.
Where *do* they find such outstanding music?
It actually sounds like something I made on Codemasters' Music 2000.
I'm honestly excited for what the next two hours will bring, however mild it may be.
Absolutely love what Microsoft is doing at the moment, and they've managed to turn me mid-gen - the Xbox One X is now my console of choice in my living room.
Oooooh less than a minute to go. Hold on to your butts.
Is Phil Spencer at this event? To drop some news.
Going to be sporting a Blinx the Cat t-shirt, I'm sure.
Some lifestyle ad about Xbox's current proposition - whenever I see someone flying through the air in an Xbox ad I can't help but think of that unfortunate OG Xbox ad.
What on earth is that crowd on?
And also that is a very unlikely gathering that's hosting this.
Young, excitable presenters - and Major Nelson in a velvet blazer.
I'd be snarky, but in life, wherever I go, I am forever Major Nelson in a velvet blazer.
"What on earth is that crowd on?"I want some whatever it is.
It's definitely got more pep than this *checks label* Hardy's Nottage Hill my mum bought me.
And we're straight into PUBG, which is hitting Games Pass on Monday.
That's a grand way to kick things off. Games Pass really is an incredible thing.
There's a new trial for Xbox Games Pass - one month for a dollar.
Say what you will, but this has a bit more life than the last PSX "conference".
That it does!
It also has something of a home shopping channel vibe to it too.
Which I'm also well into.
Live graffiti in the background - so it basically feels like Nathan Barley fronts QVC.
Void Bastards is an all-new game, which - I'm showing my age here - looks a lot like XIII.
(Look, it's a first-person shooter that's cel-shaded and my points of reference only extend to games that came out at the turn of the century).
Another Games Pass game, by the looks of it.
And oh look it's Terry Crews.
So we've got some Crackdown imminent.
Good lord the pacing of this is breakneck - nicely played Microsoft.
And yes they're surely rushing through all this in order to spend the last hour on Jet Set Radio Future.
Hopefully Major Nelson will take a big fat line of ket before embarking on a Let's Play.
Oh, and while I was typing that nonsense, Crackdown 3 has a release date.
(And that date is February 15th, when it'll be hitting Games Pass as well).
This is our first look at Crackdown 3's multiplayer, aka Dave Jones why did you sell us up shit's creek and leave us to actually make that demo into a real game.
Worth noting that this is a completely separate game from Sumo Digital's single-player campaign - at least as far as I'm aware.
(which is not that far, really)
There's something almost warmingly nostalgic about hearing the term 'cloud' being used in an Xbox briefing again.
It's like it's 2013 all over again. It's like the world didn't go to shit and all anyone was angry about was the idea of an always online console.
And the original Crackdown - which remains an *incredible* game - is now available for free.
Here's an American sport.
Big Phil Spencer is now being cheered on by the baying crowd.
Unfortunately I can't make out that his t-shirt is referring to any game in particular.
Although, if you stare at it long enough and let your eyes lose focus.
Is that a 'J'?
An 'R' and an 'F'? Could it be?
Ah, we get casual Phil tonight
Every night it's casual Phil. Every day it's casual Phil. I'm pretty sure he's so casual he just has a deckchair in his office.
Oh he's talking about Windows now.
So now I'm getting a QVC meets Top Gear vibe.
Which still is a much more appetising formula than The Grand Tour.
Old or new top gear?
Old new. Not old old. Though Major Nelson may well be Xbox's Quentin Wilson.
God I realise there's not many of you old enough to know who Quentin Wilson is. Basically he's an old TV presenter who looks like a human lightbulb.
I digress! Hellblade is coming to Games Pass, which is great as I've been waiting for an excuse to check it out.
And that'll be on December 17th. Cracking way to get into the Christmas spirit, that.
Oh no. It's Kingdom Hearts 3.
I don't get Kingdom Hearts.
It's okay, neither do I.
Sweet, it's an appearance from Square's Hashimoto. Are they going to cancel something else live?
Bet KH3 is now cancelled Martin.
And Nomura is being sacked live on-stage.
People are cheering puzzle mini-games being included in the Winnie the Pooh section of the new Kingdom Hearts and this is all so nutty I think my heart could burst.
The Quiet Man for Smash
YES! The campaign starts here.
And now Shinji Hashimoto is bringing out the well-worn tale of how Kingdom Hearts came to be.
Yes, I just dropped The Bouncer into this discussion. *folds arms*
I'm cooking my dinner, with the audio for this on my headphones; the crowd's enthusiasm is a bit easier for my easily embarrassed heart to handle if I don't have to see the crowd going nuts
They're mostly nude now. Sorry, hope I haven't put you off whatever you're cooking.
Final Fantasy 13 trilogy is coming to Xbox One backwards compatibility next week.
Would you judge me if I told you...
That I quite like Final Fantasy 13. Yes, the first one.
It's *mostly* terrible. But that battle music! That battle system!
You make me sick, Martin.
I make myself sick. Imagine *being* me.
This velvet blazer really is something.
You can feel the static fizzing from it.
Good lord this crowd is actually too much.
Anyway here are some pirates.
Also isn't saying Sea of Thieves is their best-selling new IP this gen just another way of saying 'well, it did better than Recore'?
This is the announcement of a new mode, a fast-paced PvP addition called The Arena.
So that was that, and here is some anime.
Jump force, a game that should have the best art style yet doesnâ€™t.
It's hard to get excited about something like this in the wake of Dragon Ball Fighterz, isn't it?
I also don't get Jump Force.
Neither do I. But as I get older I realise I don't get a lot of things.
The fact they need to spend this long on sea of thieves for filler makes me a bit sad for Microsoft. Also on an unrelated note Martin mentioned before, I would have a much more positive take on this if Phil Spencer came on stage topless, sweating profusely and blatantly ketted up off his bonce screaming like a banshee.
We've still got an hour to go. Also, how else are you going to announce Jet Set Radio Future coming to back compat?
They just gave a kid an Xbox One X in the crowd and he honestly looked like he just wanted to cry. More nervous tears than anything.
A quick sizzle reel for Xbox One X - the world's most powerful console, don't you know - only really serves to remind me that Gears 5 got announced and I managed to completely forget about it. I guess Gears of War 4 was really that bland.
The X is a fantastic console.
It really is!
Z Hunter is a new add-on for State of Decay 2, it is my duty to record in this live report.
So, is SOD2 still Avoid-worthy? Or did they fix it?
None of us have really been back to it for a while, but this looks like a good excuse to.
(After we've all played 428 Shibuya Scramble, of course).
Oh lord. They're still chanting every single game's name.
(and this time the crowd is chanting Just Cause 4, which is getting a new trailer right about now).
It's got weather in it!
Seeing as it's started to piss it down here in Lewisham, I'm out in my shed and I forgot to bring my shoes with me so will get my feet soaked after this, weather can go do one frankly.
They're idiots. They should be chanting "JSRF"
I'm still not over Major Nelson's jacket.
Why are you in your shed?
The real question right now is, why aren't you?
All pre rendered tat as usual....at least rico looks less like nick knowles this time
Now you've pointed out the Nick Knowles lookalike I need to play this. I had an unfortunate addiction to 5's Company in the late 90s.
Major Nelson showing he's down with the kids by dropping a Wizard of Oz reference.
A quick shout-out to friend of Eurogamer, all-round lovely man and Edge editor Nathan Brown, who has like the rest of us made a series of unfortunate life decisions that means he is watching this live at home. Hello Nathan!
Wouldn't it be better to watch from home, than be in that crowd Martin, at least you can mute it.
You make a very good point.
And also a lovely charity drive from Xbox, who are putting their weight behind the splendid Special Effect.
The weird baying crowd aside, this has been a great show from Microsoft so far.
A quick succession of small but pleasant announcements. And also, in that Kingdom Hearts section, the kind of press conference awkwardness and weirdness that I live for.
A little bit more Devil May Cry 5 is up next, which can only be a good thing. Gawd bless you, Itsuno.
Oh wait it's a weird travelogue that looks like it's escaped from a mid-90s Channel 4 TV show.
'Gaming in Japan with Katie Puckrik'.
Actually I'd watch that.
So we're just waiting Obsidian and Armature studio purchases, anything else we can expect?
Jet Set Radio Future back compat is nailed-on by this point.
Jesus, that's a mouth I've only ever seen in Dark Souls characters!
You're not talking about Katie Puckrik are you?
I've been reading the Wikipedia entry for The Word rather than paying attention to this (quite awesome looking) reveal of Devil May Cry 5 gameplay.
There are probably more noble ways to lose your job, by hey-ho.
No, we're talking about this Rylan bloke who I've only just somehow found out about.
Ah, ok! I will try and avoid that particular hole.
(I just googled Rylan, thanks for that horrendous image).
Is JSRF actually happening or is Martin just (cruelly) joking about that?
It'll only happen if we all believe.
When is this finishing... I need coffee or something stronger.
We've another 45 minutes to go, by my clock.
A cute little moment where some of the Minecraft creators who've forged careers out of their work. Although it's sapping a little of the momentum of this show.
(Though this Merlot that's rapidly disappearing is also guilty of that).
So did they announce Diablo 4 yet or what
Yeah that was at the beginning. It's a Vita exclusive. Looks good!
And a lovely, no doubt appallingly expensive ad for cats and pandas in Minecraft.
Some more Game Pass announcements - Pathlogic 2, Secret Neighbour (which is related to Hello Neighbour) and The Good Life (Swery's game, no Richard Briers unfortunately).
This'll be our first look at DLC for the new Tomb Raider - which somehow already feels like it's ancient.
Damn it, would have like a Good Life game, looking after a chicken and going round the neighbours for a glass of wine.
Like Stardew Valley but with Felicity Kendal? That'd be ace.
Actually I'd play that, is Penelope Keith still alive?
She is. And she's starring in Jet Set Radio Future 2.
Keyboard and mouse support coming next week to Xbox One.
Razer is your official partner when it comes to mice and keyboard for Xbox One.
And Razer's boss, Min, is a wonderfully stern counter to your 'ya booiii' types. Good work.
I felt like I was being told off during that Razer announcement.
Chris Charla is here for the next segment, doing his very best not to announce a release date for Below.
Here are some other games that aren't Below, though, like After Party.
And Sable, which is also not Below but looks incredible regardless, a Moebius-inspired adventure.
And Ooblets, which is also not Below, but does also look absolutely splendid and that pretty much everyone here at Eurogamer can't wait to play.
When is Below coming out though?
Finally, it's not Below, but Tunic - the beautiful action RPG from a single developer.
And we're getting Winter of Arcade, a spin on the old Summer of Arcade that was a mainstay of Xbox Live Arcade.
They're not telling us if Below is one of those games.
Forza Horizon 4 news!
It's an expansion featuring a whole new area - complete with lots of extreme terrain.
(and it's called Fortune Island)
It looks like Forza Horizon goes Skyrim.
Which I think I can get behind.
And we're also getting some Ken Block-themed vehicles - and hopefully some Ken Block-themed challenges we can apply them to?
Gav Murphy is going to pissed at still no Wales in Forza
Gav Murphy is just pissed right now. (I love you Gav).
Oooh there's only 20 minutes to go.
I think I've quite enjoyed this?
Mostly because of the lovely company I've been keeping, of course.
Are they rhetorical questions, Martin?
Is there any other type of question?
Right, on to a skit with not one but two Major Nelsons.
And he's living his best life by going full QVC.
Well, this is something.
Well, that was something.
It's what you've been looking forward to. ACQUISITIONS!
Is Jet Set Radio Future now considered a studio rather than a mere game?
With a name like that he must have a lovely arse
InXile is the first acquisition.
Which we kind of all knew about, but hey - what a catch!
Video games are so, so strange. Can you imagine acquisitions being paraded around in front of fans like this anywhere else?
But hey it's video games' strangeness that's why I love them so.
That and really awkward moments where some guy tries to talk about putting puzzles into a Winnie the Pooh level while a crowd screams hysterically.
And that's Microsoft's XO18 show.
One last thing though!
(From offstage, music starts playing)
*Understand, understand, the concept of love*
Major Nelson emerges, on skates.
And, judging by his slightly wonky gait, he's also on a mountain of ket.
It's happening everyone.
JET SET RADIO FUTURE IS NOW AVAILABLE IN 4K ON BACK COMPAT.
Sorry, I nodded off at the end there. Did I miss anything?
That was a delight. Let's do this again next Saturday night everyone?
Martin, I'm sorry to say, it's time to get your feet wet
Good night, and thanks for joining us!