Well hello hello hello. Just over 90 minutes to go 'til Microsoft's conference, we're just getting set up in the Brighton office.
Well, that was alright wasn't it? We got a new Halo, a new Forza and a new Gears - because of course we did - plus there was
And you know what? It's quite exciting.
My body is ready. I'm slathered head to toe in Lotus spread.
That's the spirit. Though I've also just bought some of my chilli ginger cookies into the office and am now vibing on them.
Best life tip you could ever receive - make a cheesecake using lotus spread. I canâ€™t even begin to describe how life changing it is
This seems important.
Can you also make the cheesecake crust with crushed up Lotus biscuits?
Smemma, I need to know more.
Not sure when to open the Rum. A long night ahead until the Bethesda conference finishes.
It's the big question of the night for me. Hit the beers for Microsoft, knowing full well I run the risk of crashing and burning before Bethesda?
I wonder what shirt Phil will be wearing today? Maybe he'll tantalisingly flash some of his Xboxy chest hair by leaving his top two buttons undone. Wew, lad!
Hopefully he just comes out topless with engorged nipples.
Which probably means some Xbox One exclusivity on Dead or Alive 6 or something.
Maybe some DMC 5 love?
I was going to say we'd see that at Sony's show tomorrow, but seeing as they're not really making any announcements there it may just as well show up here.
An hour to go until this conference starts, but really I'm just waiting for smemma to come back and tell me that Lotus spread cheesecake recipe.
It's a spreadable version of the Lotus biscuit, which itself is a popular take on speculaas, a spiced biscuit that's popular in the Netherlands.
And also what you get free with a coffee when you go on the Eurostar.
This is important chat, I think. You've got 52 minutes, go to your local supermarket and get some. You can thank me later.
Seriously smemma you can't leave us hanging like that.
Ive put it on the shopping list which is pinned to the fridge. I expect a very confused girlfriend to return from Tesco tomorrow.
I feel like, no matter what happens tonight, I've done some good.
Real talk here- do you sleep between conferences or try and survive for four hours?
Planning to power through - though the new office does have some nice sofas that might look pretty alluring come midnight.
Any recommendations on what to spend my four hours doing, besides researching Lotus cheesecake recipes?
Donlan's brought in his Virtual Boy and I'm going to play Teleroboxer - the proto-Arms! - plus I'm halfway through a World Cup campaign in FIFA 18 on Switch. Oh, I might do some work too.
Martin, have you tried googling for that Lotus spread cheesecake?
I could do that, but that'd be too easy.
Apologies for the brief silence, there was a massive queue in Easy Hours innit.
Right, 15 minutes to go.
I really think this could be a special one from Microsoft tonight.
And not just because we should see a UK-set Forza Horizon 4.
Base = 50% digestive, 50% lotus biscuits. Seriously, EVERYTHING else in life is a let down after youâ€™ve experienced this
That makes sense for the base. Do you put and spread in for the filling?
Anyway, video games!
New Gears maybe, would love love love a look at the new Halo. How about some old IP coming back too?
And I think there's a third party announcement tonight that could be one of those big E3 moments.
But mostly FORZA HORIZON 4 YES PLEASE.
Also I think Microsoft knows how to put on a show, regardless.
I made a pumpkin pie for the office this morning and it has a Lotus biscuit base.
*Glares at EA*.
*Wiggles bottom mockingly at EA*.
It's in the fridge as we speak.
Half of it, anyway.
*Notices that Andrew Wilson is looking this direction so sheepishly stops and pretends like nothing was happening*
Are we not allowed to say "arse"?
We're not allowed to say Arse? MY LIFE IS RUINED!
Say 'arse', 'fek', whatever you want.
For anyone wondering Vettel won the Canadian GP followed by Bottas and Verstappen.
SPOILERS! Also I was watching it on the sly and it was so awful, so whatever you do don't watch it.
LESS THAN TEN MINUTES TO GO.
Also who fancies a look at Cyberpunk? I don't think you'll have too long to wait.
wheres the obligatory pre show "woohoo im here" photo?
I'm in Brighton so it's not that exciting. The queues are pretty intense so I'm not sure Wes and Tom, who are over in LA for us, have made it in just yet.
So if ol' Phil Spencer is promising 15 "premiers", I assume we'll be ticking them off as we go? I'm thinking 4 or 5 Microsoft franchises (headlined by the inevitable Forza Horizon 4 and followed by a CGI teaser for Halo 6 and a more reasonable trailer for Gears 5), a couple of indie-ish new IPs no one knows what to make of, and the rest made up of 3rd party things we know are coming but haven't seen any of (e.g. AC Odyssey or Division 2 etc)
Will one of them be Adobe Premiere though?
Perfect Dark or we riot
I like the looping music. So that's a good start.
Office theory is that Phil Spencer composed this, probably on a Microsoft Surface.
I like the looping music. So that's a good start.
I like the creepy disembodied voice whispering "machine" over and over
LESS THAN ONE MINUTE TO GO. Er, I think we should have started?
Straight in with a game engine demonstration of...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT I DO LOVE A RHINO.
And it's Halo.
And that's how you start a conference.
It looks very much like they're going back to original Combat Evolved.
Which I'm more than fine with.
Halo Infinite. It looks like it could possibly the switch in direction the series needs.
It's on the Slipspace engine, and it looks like it's going to be focussed on Master Chief.
This is all music to my ears.
Right, who can decode Phil's t-shirt?
Hello from the auditorium - WiFi here is awful but that Halo announcement went down phenomenally well. Both it and Phil Spencer gained a standing ovation.
"To everyone watching us on TV and Mixer"
UH think you forgot somewhere, PHIL
Phil makes a heartfelt speech. Is he running for president?
There's a lot going on with that jacket.
Or is it a shirt?
A 'jirt', if you will.
That's a man who's smashing boundaries even with his wardrobe there.
"Developers from Japan to Poland." HMMMM.
While PlayStation says it is shrinking its focus to four titles, it lets Microsoft boast about going big. 50 games today... this is going to go on a while.
50 games being shown, 18 exclusives and 15 premieres.
Strap yourselves in.
Ori 2 to start off with.
Ori? Isn't this on PC too?
Everything Xbox is PC too in this bold new world.
Ori 2: Willow the Wisp, complete with Kenneth Williams commentary please.
This is the biggie. This is From Software, Activision and it's what was known as Shadows Die Twice.
It's Tenchu again, basically. But Miyazaki does Tenchu.
So it's a faster paced combat than Bloodborne, a lot more focus on traversal. And holy shit it might just challenge Bloodborne for game of the generation if this studio keeps up its level of quality.
But hey what, Activision and From Software huh? That's an announcement from leftfield.
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice.
2019. It should be good.
And here's Todd Howard. Neckbreak rhythm to this one already.
Fallout 4 just hit Xbox Games Pass.
And here's our first look at Fallout 76.
It's set in Virginia, on a map four times bigger than Fallout 4's.
(But when are they going to announce it's a multiplayer-focussed game?)
It's got more graphics in it, it would seem.
Always happy to lend some expert analysis. Oh and the song's nice too.
That was Fallout 76, and this is Life is Strange 2, it looks like.
Whatever it is, it's out on June 26th.
We'll have a lot more on Dontnod's Captain Spirit on Eurogamer very shortly...
The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit, what looks like a Life is Strange 2 prequel, and it's out later this month.
And bisch basch bosch here's Crackdown 3.
Which we know now is a 2019 game.
It certainly looks like Crackdown. With Terry Crews. Which is all a good thing.
Coming next February.
Nier Automata coming to Xbox One, which I think we knew already.
And here's Metro Exodus.
It's been nothing but games so far, which is amazing for all of us watching at home.
A bit more troublesome for someone like me who likes to analyse presenter's wardrobes, but I'll take the hit.
It, too, has graphics.
And Massive Attack, which makes the whole thing feel a bit 2004 which I'm also fine with.
February 22nd release date.
Sorry Days Gone and Anthem and oh god why don't these people talk to each other?
Kingdom Hearts on Xbox, if that's your thing.
Isn't KH3 February 22 as well?
Everything is February 22nd! (It's actually January 29th).
I don't really get Kingdom Hearts, but more power to you if it's your thing. It's been a long wait since the last one.
Here's Sea of Thieves - yes, we like it, sorry! - with an update.
The Forsaken Shores.
ALSO WAS THAT A ANTIQUES ROADSHOW REFERENCE RARE JUST SNEAKED INTO THE E3 CONFERENCE.
Anyway, The Forsaken Shores is out in September.
And *here's* our first look at Battlefield 5's story mode.
I CAN HEAR A CAR.
I CAN SEE A UK.
I've always wanted this to do the Sussex countryside.
I have no idea where exactly this is set though.
It looks like Scotland.
Which'll do. Edinburgh in there for some PGR2 vibes?
So that's a McLaren Senna. And a hover boat? Whatever, I'm buying it.
Dynamic seasons are new this time.
He says Britain, but come on Ralph you mean Scotland right?
Hang on - that was the chalk horse in Wiltshire?
So is this ALL of Britain?
There are autumnal leaves falling from the auditorium ceiling. One just landed on someone's head nearby. I may steal it.
There's a 60fps option too - which'll be a first for Forza on console.
I might play this video game.
And it's out on October 2nd.
And, of course, it's on Game Pass too.
Here comes 'ol jirty back on stage.
A brand-new Microsoft studio, The Initiative, led by Darrell Gallagher, and working out of Santa Monica.
Gallagher worked on Tomb Raider.
Oh and Undead Labs that did State of Decay 2.
Which Phil refers to as 'an infestation', which is quite lol given the bugs.
Oh wow. Playground and Ninja Theory snapped up.
And they've acquired Playground Games.
Plus they've just bought Ninja Theory.
This is all massive, and quite something to allow them to go toe-to-toe with Sony. This lot are serious.
Compulsion Games, who did We Happy Few, are another one who've been acquired.
This is all so good I've just thrown my PS4 out the window.
August 10th release date for We Happy Few.
PUBG now. Is that what PUBG looks like on Xbox One at the moment? 'Cos I've held off from it for a while.
Here's our first look at what I believe is a Tales of Vesperia remake, if that's your bag.
Division 2 reveal now, set in Washington.
Urban warfare? URBAN SNOREFARE MORE LIKE AMIRITE.
(I actually enjoyed my first 60 hours with The Division, although I might have overrated it at the time, and I look forward to this).
Hang on this doesn't look like Washington?
Oh you had me there! It's a museum.
I... I find this mock gamer chat quite funny.
"Meet me at the sinkhole" is the title of my upcoming album
This does look super grand but I wish people could come up with some ideas for high level AIs in games like this beyond 'guy in lots of armour'.
The Division 2 is summer in Washington, which is a different vibe to winter in New York - and it's out on March 15th next year.
Fast Start is a new way to get you playing games quicker, which is good seeing how painfully slow download speeds can be on my Xbox One.
It's coming as part of the June update for Xbox One.
Hitting Xbox Games Pass today. Tom Clancy's The Division (a super muted response). The Elder Scrolls Online (a slight spattering of applause). And Fallout 4 (I think someone parps).
This is all good, but where's our Below release date?
Before all that, here's that grimdark Tomb Raider.
That was Tomb Raider, which is out on September 14th.
And... SKATE 4!!!
(It's not - it's Project Session).
Or Session, as it's now called.
I have no idea what this.
It's not Fable though, as it's a launch exclusive.
It's Black Desert, sorry.
The game with an amazing character creator.
Devil May Cry 5 now.
Because all the games are here tonight.
CALM DOWN MICROSOFT.
And in an incredible troll move, he looks like Ninja Theory Dante.
So into that.
DmC was great, okay? And this looks like it'll be pretty awesome too.
Itsuno is on this, as if you didn't know.
Itsuno does a great job with his English. His translator is super enthusiastic, but also looks like he might have one of those mousemats that looks like boobs.
Oh was that Nero, not Dante? Apologies, then.
Some more Cuphead coming too, because why not.
Tunic, a delightful isometric action game that has cutesy Fez vibes, is next.
And now it's nothing but world premiere games.
Because there hasn't been enough bangers already?
A new game from Bandai Namco now.
It's an all-new Naruto game.
Oh hang on.
It's a Shonen Jump game?
It's all the anime, all at once, in Jump Force. It's coming from Spike Chunsoft in 2019.
Here's a post-apocalyptic game that... God it's hard to tell these things apart.
Let's call it Dying Light 2.
Sequel to Fumito Ueda's favourite game of 2016, fact fans.
Chris Avellone, the loveliest of lovely men, comes on stage to rep Dying Light 2.
OH SNAP they got a Chris
You get a Chris! You get a Chris! Everyone gets a Chris!
Looks like Dying Light, with added colours.
This seems quite po-faced after the slightly nuttier original. But it does have colours.
Like, an all-new Battletoads?
What is even going on in this conference. I love it.
Just Cause 4.
There is so much video games.
It's Just Cause but with more weather.
Just Because 4.
Four games in and that still makes me chuckle.
By the way, it's just been confirmed that Sekiro is directed by Miyazaki. So it is worth getting excited about.
It's Gears of War meets Funko Pops. I think I just did a little sick in my mouth. Do I spit or swallow?
Gears Tactics also, which is an RTS spin on the series.
And Gears 5, of course. Which we're seeing now.
It'll have graphics too.
Graphics *and* emotions.
Our graphics are just the best, smartest graphics, like real smart graphics. Honest, you wouldn't believe how smart our graphics. Believe me.
Who has the most emotions though? Tune into Sony's show tomorrow night to find out once and for all!
Emotions and wakeboarding, all in one trailer. I can't quite catch my breath.
Nah it's cool you still shoot things after all.
Gears 5, 2019.
We're coming close to a wrap. I think there might be one last thing, though...
Okay let's just announce a new Xbox while we're at it.
SERIOUSLY CALM DOWN.
OH NO OUR STREAM HAS GONE DOWN.
This is Cyberpunk. Settle in.
In-engine, I'm doubtful we'll see proper gameplay but this conference keeps on bringing surprises.
That played really well in the audience - Phil signing off being cut off was unexpected, despite whispers this might close it.
A very 80s sci-fi future, and a very pretty one too as you might expect from CD Projekt.
Also that car is so, so rad.
That was, I think, one of the best E3 conferences there's been in quite some time.
Possibly the best since that one where Sony announced all the made-up games (and where The Last Guardian sprung back to life).
That's a wrap, and there's plenty to digest there.
Microsoft going all in and acquiring new studios shows they're super serious about this, plus we saw new Halo, Gears, Forza and (brief) mention of a new Xbox. Or Xboxes, as it may have been.
See you later, if you're bold or stupid or both, for Bethesda at 2.30am.