Hello, good evening and how do you do. Kudos to all of you planning to stay awake through the whole thing. I, on the other hand, am doing the sensible thing and getting some sleep now before I start thinking about finishing off this bottle of wine.
Well, wasn't that just lovely? The Game Awards properly found its feet tonight with an enjoyable show with plenty of memorable moments, and more than a handful of exciting announcements too. Catch up with all the action as it happened right here.
The show kicks off in just over three hours. It'll be long, there'll be times when we question why exactly we're all doing this but I do think it'll be worth it. Because we all love games, right?
Anyway, see you all shortly. And don't forget to stock up before the off licence closes.
We're just a short 15 minutes away from seeing Geoff and Kojima have another awkward moment on stage.
It's time to wake Martin.
We're all idiots.
What on earth are we doing up at this time.
I'm eating pizza.
gfy does mean good for you, right?
I'm making a cup of tea. I'm not ready to drink anything stronger just yet.
I'm excited. Am I excited? It's actually quite hard to tell. I think I'm excited.
Knock it out the park Jeff.
Honestly, if this gets dry just go and relieve yourself with the joy that is Addlestone Wimpy and its brilliant manager Jeff's Twitter account.
I'm also having a cup of tea and a cream donut.
I'm having some amaretti, which makes me seem posh but they were on offer at Aldi, so...
Come on Geoff! It's 1.31am over here.
Hot chocolate and whisky for me. The more Geoff Keighley annoys me, the more whisky I shall add.
Why do I get the feeling you're going to be laid out before too long?
OH RIGHT HERE WE GO.
The *pre-show* will begin in a few minutes? Oh come on!
I'm excited on my pants.
I was excited on my pants earlier on, so now they're in the wash.
YOU SAID IT STARTED AT 1.30am GMT, GEOFF. WE'RE ALREADY ON THIN ICE HERE.
Martin - never thought I'd say this but, fancy some ARMS? We got tim4e.
Ha, oh god. I mean, we could.
We could all just sod this off and play Arms instead.
Oh wait. One minute to go until the pre-show starts.
Red Dead Redemption 2 actual gameplay please.
You're about to be *so* disappointed. We all are!
JEEF. COME ON.
Also as it's super late I think we can all swear and show a bit more leg than normal.
It's basically going to be a bit like one of those late night Hollyoaks episodes in here.
Oh wait here's Jeef which means we have started. Kind of.
LET THE AUTOFELLATIO COMMENCE.
Geoff does wonderful work, so kudos to him.
I really don't think we need to start with 20 minutes talking about how great he is though. JEEF!
I've become rather inebriated...
Haha, that really didn't take long.
This is shooting to be the video game Oscars.
Thing is, THEY DON'T INTERVIEW OSCAR AT THE START OF THOSE, DO THEY JEEF?
I'm watching this in 4K, which is nice and fancy.
Also when it comes to Game of the Year, it's going to be *so* boring this year across the board. Zelda. ZELDA EVERYWHERE.
It's not even Nintendo's best game this year.
(That'd be Arms, of course).
He just confirmed that this is a couple of hours. So if you're looking forward to seeing 4am, it'll soon be here!
Is this the show? This might be the show?
Nope, it's still pre-show.
We're being told how easy it is to watch this show. I know, Jeef, I'm watching already.
But here's the first announcement! Thanks - that didn't take *too* long.
It's a Battle Royale mode for an existing game, I bet.
Oh man, what if all these 13 plus announcements are Battle Royale modes for existing games.
Nope, I'm wrong - as I so often am - and it's a World War Z game from Saber Interactive.
Them what did Inversion.
We've also got the first winner, before the show has started. It's gone to some guy who looks like Richard Petty on Halloween.
He's a trending gamer, apparently.
Looking at my Twitter, all that's tweeting at the moment for some reason is Holby City. Sorry lad, it ain't you.
Here's a new game from Owlchemy, the studio behind Job Simulator.
And it's Vacation Simulator. Coming to PSVR, Vive and Oculus.
Next up, "Trembling Gamer", the best bingo players.
BEST SCORE NEXT.
Is it 8/10?
Oh, that kind of score. Just give it to Persona 5 and be done with it.
Oh, it's Nier. Well done Nier!
Another premiere now.
It's Accounting, the VR game from William Pugh and Justin Roiland (he of Rick & Morty fame), coming to PSVR.
I met William Pugh once. I kind of wish I hadn't.
The most exciting thing that's happening right now is a mouse pointer has just turned up on William Pugh's forehead.
Either that or it's much later than I realise.
And I realise it's plenty late.
Was there another award then?
Here's another PREMIERE.
JEEF THE SHOW HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET.
It looks like a hairy kebab.
It's From Software.
And it looks like Bloodborne 2.
Or it could be about a hairy kebab.
I guess we'll see on what *surely* is Bloodborne 2 tomorrow at PSX.
If it is, it's going to make getting up again at 4am tomorrow morning that much more palatable.
There's an orchestra doing lovely renditions of video game music and OH MY GOD the ceiling is on fire.
They should just call him the Geoffs.
Get a little bust of Keighley and hand it out. That might *just* placate his ego.
Here's an award!
And it's going to be for Best Narrative. Hellblade is up, as is Horizon: Zero Dawn.
Also Nier, and Edith Finch.
Which should win everything, frankly.
And Wolfenstein 2.
And the winner is...
And we've got our first emotions of the night.
This is quite lovely, and shows how much these awards mean to people.
And it's another World Premiere.
Louie Walsh: "He reminds me of a young Father Christmas"
'When I saw this trailer, I said we had to make it the first one we show tonight' says Geoff. It's not the first one though, is it?
Get with it, man.
It's a new game from Campo Santo, the devs behind the brilliant Firewatch.
And it's got pyramids in it.
But it's not the first you've shown tonight, you showed several in the pre-show... or did I hallucinate that?
I think even Jeef is confused right now.
But it's not the first you've shown tonight, you showed several in the pre-show... or did I hallucinate that?
I think even Jeef is confused right now.
It's got a nice old camera in it.
And it is...
In The Valley of Gods, coming the year after next.
(So that'd be 2019)
Best action game now, presented by someone I don't know 'cos I'm old.
Cuphead, Destiny 2, Nioh and Prey are nominated.
Wolfenstein too. Go Prey?
Oh he made a microtransaction joke, and seems very pleased with himself about it. The winner is Wolfenstein 2.
Machinegames looking genuinely shocked to be on stage accepting the award. You did good! Don't be surprised!
But also it's kind of heartwarming to hear Machinegames' QA department get a round of applause. That's the kind of magic that will me having tuning in again.
And now here's a Warframe community trailer.
That was a Warframe community trailer.
And this is a PlayStation trailer.
Hang on, is this a secret ad break?
I wish I'd have known, I'd have popped to the fridge for a beer.
A GTA Online trailer - probably not the Rockstar trailer you were after, and we're *back*.
I think my stream is *slightly* behind yours (sorry to break the illusion, but I'm not in Los Angeles - I'm in Lewisham).
This is the downside of watching in 4K, I guess. It takes time for all those Ks to get here.
Lord I'd love some K right now.
Here's a trailer for The Shape of Water - which does look brilliant - because del Toro is Keighley's mate?
Good lord this is a strange show.
Here's del Toro and Kojima.
And they're getting a standing ovation.
Calm down, everyone. Will we get to see any more of Death Stranding?
I'm not sure! We will see the award for art direction, though!
Cuphead! Destiny 2! Horizon!
Martin - Holby City is trending on Twitter because a main character went on a shooting spree. 1 main character is dead, another had his frontal lobe blown out, and... well, it was all very dramatic.
Persona 5, Breath of the Wild.
But not Arms? What gives?
That does make all sorts of sense.
I yawned and when I stopped everyone was laughing but I couldn't hear what they're laughing at as I was yawning.
We're back to the stage for what looks like the Zelda DLC.
And it's Aonuma pulling the Master Sword while dressed as Link and oh lord this is everything.
When's it out though...
This looks INCREDIBLE.
And it's got a motorbike for Link? What the hell.
Oh, and it's out NOW.
Right, screw this.
It's been lovely having you all here tonight.
But I'm off to play this.
The Master Cycle Zero is the name of that bike.
I don't know how I feel about it just yet...
Here's a plug for McDonalds and Uber, to bring us back to earth.
Will they deliver to Lewisham?
Here's Wonder Woman doing a weird skit about Bethesda games.
Because that Zelda reveal was a bit too straightforward.
This is another one of those sneaky ad breaks!
Ed Sheran forcing himself into shit AGAIN?
Was that actually Ed Sheeran? I'm actually none the wiser.
Felicia Day onstage now to talk about the industry icon award.
And it's going to Carol Shaw - one of Atari's superstars who's somewhat unsung.
This is wonderful. And you know what - I'm really enjoying the show this year.
It's much tighter than previous efforts, there's still a little cringe but there's a lot more that's worthwhile.
What a wonderful moment.
Well, that was just lovely. Now here's Harada in shades.
This is a weird show, but then video games are weird so I guess this is about right.
So here's a reveal for Soul Calibur 6.
Coming to PS4, Xbox One and Steam next year.
Geoff just announced like five more awards in quick succession.
And here's Aisha Tyler, who I missed *so* much at E3 this year.
The original still astounds to this day on a Dreamcast with VGA, by the way.
that's the thing - you can't really replicate the sense of shock of first seeing the first one running on console the first time.
Meanwhile! Best debut indie game goes to Cuphead.
I think we've got another ad break now.
btw, I haven't fallen asleep.
OK maybe a little bit. I'm also staring blankly into space while wondering whether to get a beer or not.
Colonel Mustard from Epic is here for a quick Fortnite announce.
Fortnite: The game that handily describes the length of the ad break.
An actual question from Geoff about cross-platform play in Fortnite.
'Players deserve it' says Donald. But not tonight.
Casey Hudson, of BioWare, now on-stage to present ongoing game.
When is the awards slated to end? i desperately need some sleep
Another hour to go, I think.
Destiny 2, GTA Online, Overwatch, PUBG, R6: Siege and Warframe all in contention.
And Overwatch wins. Well done Jeff.
A Conan skit, and I'm seriously flagging.
(Conan O'Brien, not that other Conan sadly).
I'm too tired to laugh.
We've broken the back of this though! Just 55 minutes to go.
A new announce from THQ Nordic now - and it's got snow in it.
I'm too unamused to laugh.
Well, that too.
Fade to Silence, a new survival-y thing that's out in Early Access next week.
I'm looking at the award itself. Are we sure it's not actually Geoff?
Emerging from the pool, perhaps, or just about to ascend.
Martin - you know Koj aint the kinda dude to fly over just to hang out with some cool dude bros. It's the "one last thing" thing. Maybe.
Oh here's some more adverts. I'm getting that beer.
Anyone want anything from the kitchen while I'm up?
Americans stuck with McDonalds while I'm sustaining myself at 3am with Hobnobs. Think I'm winning this round.
We finished off our pack of hobnobs earlier. Gutted.
"Anyone want anything from the kitchen while I'm up?"I'm close to wanting that bottle of bleach from under the sink, please.
Already downed it mate. Sorry.
I just got back and Bayonetta has been announced for the Switch.
Coming next February. YES PLEASE.
Next year really is just re-releases and reissues for the Switch. But I think I'm okay with that.
I'm actually nude right now.
This was worth getting up for.
THEY DID IT.
EXCLUSIVE TO SWITCH.
I'm still cleaning myself up a bit after that announce.
Here's another world premiere, though.
The 'longest', according to Geoff.
And it's Death Stranding.
Will there be gameplay?
There will be Norman Reedus. And maybe even a look at his baby foetus.
Strap in and enjoy.
This is eerie and strange and unnerving and beautiful and it is everything.
I forgive you all those sandwich posts on Twitter.
You can probably calm down a bit about La La Land.
But you've still got it Koj.
This is like some weird Gaspar Noe sci-fi craziness and I love it.
Still absolutely none the wiser about the game or how it works.
But, y'know, that'll do. I'm sold.
So after that, here's some more ads.
No Mads, though.
How on earth do you unpack that Death Stranding trailer? I'm certainly too tired to.
Best student game: Beer pong?
I kind of don't want Death Stranding to be a game.
Ha, I feel you. I think its themes will tie nicely into its mechanics, though, if past Koj stuff is to go by.
Still kinda stunned by the Game Awards not sucking horribly. This is a first, right?
I'm having a great time!
But also here's some weird unfunny skit to bring it all down a notch or two.
God I hope Notch doesn't show up.
And then here's Phoenix, a band who I'm well aware of so surely aren't anyway near cool enough for you young sorts.
During this musical interlude, let's keep score.
We've had From Software's new game - ish - Bayonetta 3, Soul Calibur 6, a prolonged look at Death Stranding, Zelda DLC dropping.
Oh, and Campo Santo's new thing.
This is as good as any E3 conference in recent years.
And its recognition of Carol Shaw was a properly classy moment.
Well played Geoff.
Now Lance Reddick - he of Quantum Break, Destiny 2 and JOHN WICK - is onstage to present best student game.
Level Squared wins, and it's another lovely moment on-stage.
'I'm graduating in a week, someone hire me please'! What a way to leave the stage.
And here's another premiere.
It has graphics!
And it's from The Astronauts, developers of The Vanishing of Ethan Carter.
But also it has guns, because that was quite the switcheroo. This is Witchfire.
Here's Josef Fares, developer of Brothers. Make sure not to say anything too controversial!
'The Oscars fucked themselves up - this is the real shit!'
There he is!
'If the whole world tells you your game is shit, I'll be like no it's not'.
He's had too many hobnobs as well.
Yes, that or something else.
Martin, I know a hobnob rush when I see one. I'm living one right now!
I'm having a much more sedate whiskey rush right now. Also those are some mighty strong hobnobs he's rolling on. Not sure you're supposed to crush them up and do them through a £20 note?
Anyway, A Way Out looks lovely.
And this industry is all the more characterful and amazing for having people like Josef Fares around.
And now here's an ad for Jumanji, spiced up a little with some interaction from Jack Black and The Rock.
Ten minutes to go!
I think PUBG will be closing the show, in case you're wondering there'll be another curtain closer.
And from affiliates deals to another premiere.
Video games, everyone!
It's Dreams, from Media Molecule.
Which we'll see plenty more of tomorrow at PSX.
And it looks absolutely splendid.
"I think PUBG will be closing the show." And after the show closes, i'll be finding the closest PUB.
If you find one that's open in Lewisham give us a shout, I'll come and join you.
Andrew House in the house, now.
A nice, heartfelt speech from the recently departed boss of PlayStation.
He's not dead. That's not what I'm saying. I mean, you can see him there on stage. You know what I mean.
He's a wonderful guy, and he's done a wonderful job, so he deserves this moment in the spotlight.
Here's the award for games wot make u think.
Hellblade is the winner.
Ninja Theory's Tameem, man of many different haircuts, has something truly special for us tonight.
That haircut is like part Snape, part Berlin nightclub.
I'm struggling to process it.
Anyway, Hellblade is a deserved winner. Well done.
I enjoy this, but I have to ask. When does it end?!
This is it now, we're locked in this forever.
And this is all super awkward.
Welp, we're boned then. Jaffa cakes, anyone?
Rack us up another line of hobnobs will ya?
The biggest game of the year, PUBG, but it doesn't stand too comfortably up on stage.
Here's the desert map for PUBG. It looks like a desert!
PC 1.0 launch is the 20th of this month.
Is it finished?
I need to pee.
God I think this might be going 'til 5am.
Here's Andy Circus to help soften the blow of that realisation.
Still need to pee.
Can someone let me know who won best performance and why it wasn't who ever does Toad's voice.
It's Melinda Juergens for Hellblade.
And she's turned up in her mo-cap suit?
Another beautiful moment tonight.
And from a moment of heartfelt emotion to another reveal.
(Still need to pee)
It looks like footage ripped from Apone's helmet cam in Aliens.
That's a good thing, by the way.
GTFO, I think. That looks splendid.
I'm gtfo. gnight!
I'm having so much fun I kind of don't mind if it goes on a bit longer.
Could also probably do with some sleep before work starts tomorrow mind.
Ed Boon is onstage for god knows what at this point of the night.
How's the bladder holding up Martin?
I did a pee. Go me.
BEST GAME DIRECTION NOW.
Oh god seriously I need to be up in like 90 minutes come on.
Just give it to Zelda and be done with it.
Kinda surprised how much of Sony's stuff has shown up tonight. Curious to see what they've left in the chamber for PSX.
Only one way to find out! *sets alarm for 4am, cries*
Here's Metro Exodus and I think it's getting light outside.
Eiji Aonuma not going up? Maybe he's feeling 'Cagey' Aonuma. (I have even more jokes as contrived as this one)
Game of the year is coming, so I think we're close to wrapping.
First we'll have some music.
And maayyyyybe a little more whiskey then *hic*
This is the final stretch. WE CAN DO IT!
Will we get another reveal? Or just Zelda being crowned game of the year?
You've all been absolutely splendid tonight.
Before the game of the year gets announced, an upbeat medley of all the relevant soundtracks.
I didn't even know that PUBG had a score...
And we're getting Jump Up Super Star live and yes this is better than all the E3 conferences combined.
Oh, I think she's miming.
Still! Points for effort.
Breath of the Wild will win. It will win EVERYTHING this year.
And the winner is...
Who'd have thought it!
Justice is done!
Oh hang on it's Zelda.
THANK YOU AMERICA!
And thank you Aonuma.
I'd complain about it being predictable.
But the fact of the matter is.
I'm seriously considering staying up to dive into the Zelda DLC rather than getting some sleep before I have to start work at 8am.
And I've already clocked like 120 hours in Breath of the Wild. So it can't be that bad.
It's no Arms though.
Wasn't the consensus that Mario Odyssey was the better game between the two?
The consensus was that Arms was the best of them all, I think.
The dlc is not live yet though...
THEN WE SHALL STAY AWAKE UNTIL IT IS.
What a wonderful show. Geoff Keighley gets a lot of stick, but he does an awful lot of wonderful things and his passion is evident.
Tonight's been a wonderful celebration of video games that's been as gaudy, weird and fantastical as the medium itself.
So thanks to Geoff Keighley and his team, and thanks everyone for joining in tonight. It's been fun.
See you all tomorrow, if you're dumb enough, for PSX.
Well, that was certainly an occurrence. Martin, commentators, it's been fabulous. Thanks for indulging my terrible puns and relentless jabber about hobnobs. I'd like to dedicate this award to[ADVERT BEGINS] (Night, all - or morning, I suppose)