The chamber is dimly lit and smells of damp. On a battered wooden table sits a copy of The End Is Nigh, a brand new game from Super Meat Boy developer, Ed McMillan. Next to that is a dusty VHS player with a post-it note stuck to the front instructing you to "Play me!".
>>EXAMINE THE END IS NIGH
The game is a rage-inducing platformer, starring a little blob named Ash. It was released this week. Stuck to the back of the box is a note.
The note is written in what looks like blood. The handwriting scruffy and hurried. "Hear me well, adventurer! On this week's episode of Games You Never Knew Existed, I'll be looking at another, very different version of The End Is Nigh. Published by Zenobi Software in 1994, this incarnation of The End Is Nigh is an eccentric text adventure and the fourth part in the Zikov trilogy of games."
The writing continues on the back of the note.
>>READ BACK OF NOTE
The note paper is old and fragile. It cracks slightly as you turn it over to read the underside. "Join me as I try to piece together the bonkers storyline of the Zikov games before delving into the history of Zenobi Software. A legend in the text adventure scene, Zenobi was one of the first, and oldest independent games publishers in the UK and it released over 200 games, all produced, packaged and sent out by hand, from the home of a charismatic character named The Rochdale Balrog."
Upon finishing the note, it disintegrates into dust. A gust of wind emanating from deep inside the dungeon blows through the chamber and scatters the remains of the note around the room. It is gone forever.
The chamber is dimly lit and smells of damp. On a battered wooden table is a dusty VHS player with a post-it note stuck to the front instructing you to "Play me!"
I can't do that!
Congratulations, you have completed this episode of Games You Never Knew Existed.
If you enjoyed this look back at the history of UK text adventures, why not check out the GYNKE playlist, which features alternate versions of The Witness and Shadow of Mordor. Other non-text adventure games featured in the series are Crackdown, Friday the 13th, Destiny and Star Fox.