Good evening everyone! I am actually a Scorpio so this is extra special for me.
And it's done. Microsoft revealed the most powerful console yet, the gloriously sleek yet curiously titled Xbox One X, all of which can be yours for a mere £449. And what to play on it? Well, you'll have a new Assassin's Creed, a new Forza and a bevvy of exciting indies. Follow all the updates as they happened.
We're just assembling, like the Avengers. Are you all having a splendid Sunday?
Hello all! Pretty sure Microsoft is using the same hold music they used last time.
Which reminds me of this beautiful piece on This American Life about the best hold music ever. Do links work in here?
Tom and Wes are there! But no one else is apparently.
Anyway, that's all I've got.
Hello from the Galen Center in LA! Once again Microsoft shipped in a load of fans to sit in front of the stage.
They are practising their cheering.
Greetings, Gamers! I'm hoping for the announcement of a brand new Dizzy game for Scorpio.
Doesn't seem like a T-shirt you'll hang onto.
Hello! We're sat inside the Galen Center in LA with 40 minutes to kill before Microsoft's Xbox media briefing begins. Someone tell a joke.
Will the Xbox Scorpio, or whatever it's called, end up costing £499? It's reportedly $499.
"Tell me a joke"
"Scorpio costs £499"
Looking forward to seeing more of BioWare's Anthem tonight. It looked Destiny-esque last night. How similar will it be?
This is it, the big one! Microsoft's chance to bring it home with the most powerful console EVER SEEN.
Or are they going to go full Theresa May and score a massive own goal, coming out with a £499 price point and nothing more than Forza 7 while droning on about strong and stable framerates?
I'm leaning towards the latter, to be honest, but would be happy to be wrong.
We are all set up in the home team with crisps, beers (shhhh, don't tell Oli) and what I think might well be excitement.
Oh god it's the same sodding music they play ever sodding year being looped before the show.
No sign of those fabulous T-shirts on the way in - but technically we still are to witness the most powerful console ever, so.
so Martin, no nipples at EA last night. What are the chances tonight?
I saw a couple of tits for sure last night though...
Leave my selfies alone, Martin.
New games wise, we know Anthem is on the way, plus Forza 7 and the recently leaked Ori sequel. A proper look at Crackdown would also be lovely, right?
Assassin's Creed head of content Azaizia Aymar has just tweeted that we'll be seeing a glimpse during Microsoft's show today.
Course, the internet has already had more than several glimpses already.
First Morgans going down too easy.
Oh so many ways tonight could go tits up. I can't wait!
15 minutes people!
Wouldn't it be nice if Microsoft announce they've bought IO and saved Hitman? That would be lovely indeed.
"most powerful console ever" has officially become the most tired phrase ever.
A strong and stable observation.
The super Xbox fans in the seats at the front are doing a Mexican wave. They cheered a safety announcement. Also all are wearing those T-shirts.
Eugh, the state of that.
I was at an SOE Fan Faire one year and the crowd did a volumetric Mexican wave.
Not sure if super fans or Microsoft employees. (That's Aaron Greenberg at the top of the pic.)
*pulls cardigan over the Splatoon t-shirt I'm wearing right now*
Not confirmed, but it looks like Scorpio just leaked, minutes before the conference start.
Well there it is.
That's a dinky little thing.
And quite a sexy one. Where do they fit all the graphics?
I guess they're all kept in the cloud.
With controller for scale, it looks tiny. Incredibly impressive.
I like the insouciant way the controller is leaning on it. Practically smoking a Gauloises.
We're currently speculating how they'll do the reveal - whether they'll have it stored inside an OG Xbox One.
Or - this is my bet - after 30 minutes of talking, Phil Spencer will reveal he's been holding one in his cheeks the entire time and regurgitate it on stage.
Huge wedding cake and it pops out on a spring.
And we're off.
Kicking off with a look at how pixels have grown over the years.
Big cheers here for the ultra 4K message.
It's how the quality of the pixels has improved that really wows me though.
Big cheers for Chief.
Some hardcore motherboard and silicon love too. Get in.
And big cheers for a glimpse at Master Chief. Still a fan favourite.
And the picture is real.
This is all a bit Project Natal.
And there's the dinky box.
Fans in the front are very, very excited.
Phil Spencer, everyone, sporting an Xbox controller t-shirt.
Renegades, the lot of them.
And a jacket that looks a bit Bovingdon market circa 1996. Quite a radical look all told.
Xbox One X. Hmm. Not sure...
That's.... Not a great name.
Kareem looks *so* Microsoft.
People are cheering tech specs. I guess this is what we are now.
One important fact - it's out November 7th.
Will be fully backwards compatible, of course.
Still no word on price...
And people without 4K TVs will see the benefits.
Whoops and cheers for the liquid cooled vapour chamber.
Also the Xbox One X vapes.
It's the most powerful Xbox ever, and the smallest.
Is it the most expensive though?
They're leading with Forza.
I like racing games, but even I'm not that excited by a new Forza.
It does look small indeed. That's perhaps one of the more impressive things about it.
The headline from that is truck racing.
You're going to sell your new console with truck racing?
I came here for games, Microsoft, not real life cars. Come the fuck on!
And here's a new Porsche. It looks like every other Porsche, because they all look the fucking same.
Are they seriously selling their new console like this?
Anyway, dynamic weather is back having been cut from the last Forza.
The Nurburgring does look super dramatic with its moody skies. 150 cars around the Nordschleife for the true N24 experience please?
There'll be some 700 cars in this.
Well, that's a new Forza. It's out October 3rd.
Surprising it's not day and date with X.
42 games inbound, 22 with some form of Xbox exclusivity.
A new 4A game - this is how you do a technical showcase, for sure.
Eye stab is the new neck stab.
It's a new Metro - so super impressive techincally, and super grimy. A rat just got stabbed in the eye.
So basically you shoot rats.
And a big mole.
Metro Exodus, everyone.
Assassin's Creed up next, for some real diversity after the rat killing and the cars.
You get to slide down pyramids.
Think you can stab a rhino in the eye too.
Creative director Jean Guesdon now rocks up with some very gallic distressed jeans.
Im off for a fag fuck this
Roll us one would 'ya?
The name Xbox One X is so dumb poor Guesdon couldn't even spit it out without choking on a bit of his sick.
Looks a bit Witcher 3 this, doesn't it?
That wasnt very impressive. Anybody who thinks otherwise is in De Nile.Sorry.
I love you!
Requires 8GB of Ramses.
I'd say the handling of that horse looks off. Needs a bit of toe-in on the front hooves maybe?
Real trend this generation for collecting the things you just shot people with.
You can arrow people in the face.
Oh and there's Destiny-style loot, so there's some of that diversity for you.
Come on video games, you can do better than this!
I think Ubisoft have the Cheops to pull this off.
That was a video game.
Player Unknown's Battlegrounds, a genuinely exciting get.
Unless this is like that time everyone was scrabbling to get Dean Hall and DayZ on stage at a console holder's conference only for it all to come to naught.
But! This is coming out exclusively on Xbox later this year. So there's hope!
Ah, as some of you are pointing out it's console 'launch' exclusive - so it sounds like it will be coming to PS4 at some point too.
It's No Man's Sky with mini-guns!
This is Deep Rock Galactic.
And quick as a flash we're onto State of Decay 2.
Which is a genuine Xbox exclusive.
So rack up zombies next to the cars, rat shooting and big annual franchises.
Credit to Microsoft, though - they've kept the focus firmly on the games so far with no real filler.
Wouldn't mind some more imaginative games, though.
A zombie just ate a man's face.
Spring 2018 release for Xbox - and as you've noted, it's Xbox play anywhere so PC too. Though I think that's the case for all Microsoft Studio games?
There's a really angry man shouting on the stage for some reason.
I was quite enjoying this until the guy by the side of the stage started screaming.
I have no idea what's upset him so much.
He's gone now. The game he was angry about was called The Darwin Project. He really looked like he didn't like it.
There's your meme from tonight's conference, anyway.
So here's Minecraft.
It'll have more graphics on Xbox One X.
Aaaaaaand, a special new graphics mode. It introduces even more graphics, and they're super duper apparently.
I hope 4k Peggle is next.
People are clapping that you can pre-order new games.
It's the innovation corner, starting off with something new from Japan.
Those Dragon Ball games that come out every year and you don't care about? Yeah, they're coming to Xbox One X.
I can't believe they're doing this.
And that's the sound of the barrel being scraped there.
Black Desert Online, the MMO that caused ripples a few years ago, is up next.
'It costs £6.99 on Steam' says Donlan.
Now here's something special - which will be familiar if you were at EGX a couple of years ago. The Last Night.
It's been doing the rounds for a while, and it does look absolutely gorgeous.
The Annapurna Interactive logo, something which increasingly gets my attention - they have exquisite taste and have been behind some of this year's most interesting games.
Artful Escape is the most Bertie game I have ever seen.
It's a preface to The Artful Escape. Another one you'll get on PC, but it'll be console launch exclusive on Xbox One.
Here's some more Bandai Namco stuff we typically only see during Sony's TGS conference given some airtime - Code Vein.
Sea of Thieves though!
Sea of Thieves is a shared world adventure. Last time I heard the phrase shared world was when Activision announced Destiny...
If they'd have led with that water I'd have been much more hyped.
If they'd have just streamed two hours of that water lolling around I'd be pre-ordering an Xbox XOXOXOX right now.
I'm just realising most of this will be on PC, won't it?
Now *this* does look exciting and original.
Although I've probably seen enough now thanks.
Aaaaand it's been pushed back to early next year.
And now, Tacoma - the new game from the Gone Home people.
Which ticks my original/exciting boxes too.
Now, a fox.
It's not Tails, I'll tell you that much.
It's a Rare-style platformer, but not by Rare. And it looks very much like Lucky's Tale, the Oculus launch game.
Oh, it is Lucky's Tale 2. For all those who were after a sequel.
Cuphead! The super pretty platformer that now has a release date - September 29th.
Crackdown, now starring Terry Crews. I'll have some of that.
All is forgiven Xbox best console evaaaa Phil SPencer 4 life
It's by Sumo, it's got Terry Crews in it, it's got orbs. Nothing can go wrong, surely.
Have they ditched the city-levelling tech though? We're not seeing any of that here.
November 7th release date - so alongside Xbox OXO cube.
'And now, here are some games on Steam'. Donlan again there, whose burns I'm not afraid to steal.
Hang on, where was all the physics destruction in the Crackdown 3 video? There was explosions a plenty... but like, zero environment change from it. Anyone?
It does look like it's been significantly downgraded from the original reveal. Let's hope there's more to show, though!
The Annapurna logo again!
This is Ashen, by Aurora 44.
*also available on Steam
The Life is Strange prequel now.
Life is Strange Before the Storm, a three-parter coming out the end of August.
Shadow of Moredor amitrite.
"Shadow of Moredor amitrite."Those beers going down essy martin?
7 minutes until the $399 reveal, because that's all Microsoft has. This has been shite.
We've been told this one will run longer than 90 minutes. How much longer I don't know.
I've been lukewarm on this as I'm not a fan of the excessive violence. That Orc is making me want to get involved, though.
Also, I didn't say - stunning jacket on that Mordor chap. The fashion highlight of the show so far.
Ori Ori Ori!
Good lord this is a splendid looking video game.
Phil takes to the stage again, which makes me think we're close to wrapping up.
Biggest cheers of the conference for OG Xbox.
Original Xbox games are now coming to Xbox One for backwards compatibility.
They'll be improved in the emulation. And Crimson Skies is heading up the line-up.
If you get Panzer Dragoon Orta going Phil you'll have done well.
Gears of War 4, Forza Horizon 3, Minecraft, Killer Instinct all getting 4K updates for the Xbox Bisto.
That's the price that pretty much killed the Xbox One, so....
Here's Patrick Soderlund, who has puzzlingly long thumbs.
He's here to show us Anthem.
It's a Frostbite game, obviously - and it looks like it's first-person.
Also, it looks gorgeous
Facial animation that Mass Effect Andromeda could have benefitted from, and an incredible fidelity and detail in the world.
And yeah it's Destiny basically.
With added Ubisoft simulated bantz.
Sorry, it's Destiny plus jetpacks times graphics.
Worth reiterating that it does look absolutely gorgeous.
Is it me or does this look gorgeous?
It's not just you!
I sense a downgrade coming
I think this looks legit - and after the Watch Dogs fiasco I don't think anyone would want to repeat that trick. I am super naive though.
Does Microsoft have any of its own games to end with? Or are we done?
Thanks for joining us! See you again later for Bethesda!
I think that's it. I think that counts as officially underwhelming - not seeing the game that's going to make you want to part with 500 sheets for a new console.
We'll wrap up here. There'll be more comment and analysis coming, plus we'll be dragging ourselves up in a few hours for Bethesda's conference. Tara!