Hello. Is this thing on?
Happy PlayStation day everyone! We're in Anaheim for the PlayStation Experience, which promises to be quite a show - having skipped out on Gamescom and not put on a proper show since E3, Sony should have lots of new secrets to share. Join us live from 6pm GMT for all the show as it happens.
Think about it.
Gooooooooooooooooood morning internet!
Or good afternoon I dunno. Anyway, hello, hi and how do you do from lovely Anaheim where we've just taken seats in the convention centre.
Yes there are almost 90 minutes still to go. Yes we're keen. But we've heard what you've heard - that the sequel all PlayStation fans are after is going to be announced this morning.
The question is, what on earth will they call it? Knackered? Knack Harder? Knack Sack and Crack?
The more I think about that last one, the more I like it.
Think about it! It could be two new characters joining Knack on his crazy adventures!
Anyway that's potentially the big news. And who knows maybe there'll be some more stuff too.
In all fairness, I never actually played Knack. Maybe it's amazing!
I don't think I can fill the next 80 minutes talking crap about Knack, I'm afraid.
Nah, it's not.
More like Knaff, if you ask me.
Martin, are you in the auditorium? Can we get a selfie?
Luckily I bought my 3DS with me. Going to wreck some shrubs in Animal Crossing like a pro.
Those orange trees don't know what's coming to them.
Mate, please be careful. If Jim Ryan sees you playing a handheld that's not a PS Vita, you're getting battered.
It's taken me about five minutes to work out how to take a selfie.
I had two PlayStation PRs helping me do it.
I still think I screwed it.
Wait for it.
Here it comes.
Perhaps the most exciting reveal we're going to see in this livetext.
Any second now.
Right, I can't get this to work.
So, just imagine my face - it's quite big.
And it's in an auditorium quite near the front.
I think I'm going to have to post this for you, Martin.
IT'S REALLY NOT THAT EXCITING.
We've really made a hash of this.
It has taken two PRs and two members of staff to try and bring you this selfie.
And after all that I've totally failed.
THERE WE GO.
This live report hasn't got off to the best of starts has it?
All that and you can't even see the PlayStation logo in that photo. I'm ashamed of myself.
Donlan's in the office by the way. He's been watching this and laughing very loudly.
Anyway. AN HOUR TO GO!
He says "send everyone my love!"
PlayStation PR Hugo Busstops is amazed that we're going to try and keep this live report going an hour before the show starts.
So he's going to give us all the announcements now.
Oh man he's bottled it.
How's he feel about Knack 2? Any thoughts?
Yoshi Ono just walked past wearing a Marvel hoodie.
No idea what that could mean.
Maybe he just really likes Marvel?
He seems a nice man.
"IT'S 9AM OVER HERE MAN!"But it's Saturday... and the boss is on paternity leave...
Fair points both. I'll go get a beer. What are you having?
Martin, I think I've just seen you in a twitter video: https://twitter.com/itsJenSim/status/805094918712459264
Other celebrity spots so far - Mark Cerny has been floating around (what could that mean!) and Kazunori Yamauchi is also revving his lovely little engine somewhere nearby.
Sadly Sony's Jim Ryan - who I just realised last night while idly thinking about him in the bath, as I often do, would make a great Drax if ever they needed a new one for Guardians of the Galaxy - hasn't made it out here for this show.
However! We'll be getting Shawn Layden, which I'll take.
What t-shirt will he be wearing?
Genuinely excited to find out. This is the one time when wardrobe really matters to me.
Actually who am I kidding, wardrobe always matters to me. Keep it fashion forward.
By the way, Martin. Ono's hoodie is amazing, have you had a closer look?
Hang on - let me grab that picture that's doing the rounds.
Ono's disappeared. And I'm in the world's biggest queue in a Starbucks.
Oh, wait a minute, you're in the Anaheim Convention Center!
I was there for Blizzcon a little while ago.
At least they haven't had to change the lighting too much. Blizzard are pretty mad about the colour blue as well.
MARTIN, YOU KNOBHEAD.
Right, I'm back in my chair. Can't believe how close we were to disaster then.
THIRTY MINUTES TO GO!
How do we know this is Martin?
Hello this is Martin I like cars. There you go - proof positive it's definitely me.
Urgh, still reeling from VGA's. There was a man in a robot-shaving razor costume, right? I didn't hallucinate that?
This will be better. I'm sure of it!
Well, I'm convinced! Glad it's you and not that Busstops fella.
The room is filling up here, and there's still a mighty queue outside. Don't be surprised if this starts a little late.
I need to lay off the booze.
No you don't.
People are already shouting 'Fuck Konami'. And we're still 20 minutes away from kick-off.
Hope it does start a little bit, I've a curry ordered I need to get at 5 to the hour. Be nice just incase they hold me up.
I can cause a kerfuffle to make sure it's held back a bit? Wouldn't want you to miss out on your jalfrezi.
But Martin! I'm two jumbo bottles of Leffe down already. I need to slow it down at least. Leffe Brune no less, I am cultured.
That's some heavy stuff. Pace yourself!
There's a pretty amazing atmosphere in here already.
PSX is kind of great for that - it's like E3 but with all the cynical old shits like myself replaced by fans who genuinely care.
There are a few AWOL Sony games I'd love updates on. Well, there's Dreams mainly.
It's been such a long time since we had a decent update on it - the last one I remember was exactly a year ago at PSX in 2015.
Without wanting to spoil anything, there's one game that's being properly unveiled at this show that I'm probably going to lose my shit over.
You'll hear me doing a proper Ned Flanders scream when it hits the stage.
TEN MINUTES PEOPLE.
"Ugh, I hate it when games journalists do proper Ned Flanders screams during keynotes. Reeks of unprofessionalism."
New wipeout?.. we can dream
Never say never!
Right, pals, I think I'm going to leave Martin to it. I apologise in advance for anything weird he says about the Sony execs on stage.
There should be a decent suite of announcements.
Sony skipped Gamescom, went quite light at TGS and didn't do Paris Games Week either. Also it's Pro reveal event was just weird and doesn't count.
So! It's basically got a lot of stuff stored up. Expect this to be like a mini-E3.
For a change they can have an announcement that The Last of Us will never have a sequel... that would be cool
Would be kind of funny if they just got up and cancelled a load of games LIVE.
FIVE MINUTES EVERYONE! FIVE MINUTES!
The dubstep has begun in the auditorium, which surely means something.
It's certainly getting my bowels moving, anyway.
When will the bass drop?
About the same time as this beef baby I've got in me after last night's dinner.
THREE MINUTES! DING DONG DING DONG!
The dubstep has mellowed to some breakbeat. They're about to drop.
Even after years of being to these, I still get butterflies just as they're about to begin. Sad, isn't it?
That excitement gets downgraded to mild disappointment soon enough though.
Lights are down. The screaming has begun.
If that sounds ominous it's because it is.
And our first game is...
No-one knows and everyone's trying to guess in the auditorium. 'Watch Dogs 3?'
My money's on Uncharted.
It looks like Uncharted, but who's the main character?
Elena, or someone else?
I don't remember those lock-picking mechanics from Uncharted 4.
SHOW YOUR FACE. The suspense is killing me.
Is this a new Crash Bandicoot?
What if this is Knack 2?
Yeah, I'm calling it. Knack 2. Looking pretty sweet as well.
If this is Uncharted, it's taken a very sombre turn.
And the crowd goes wild. The Lost Legacy, Uncharted DLC starring Chloe.
Quite an artful reveal.
Shawn Layden comes to the stage wearing a WipEout t-shirt.
WHAT COULD IT MEAN.
He's like a loveable executive chipmunk.
This is the PlayStation's birthday. I didn't know! I hope there's cake.
'We've been here 22 years, we're not going anywhere'.
I love the WipEout t-shirt. What's going on with those sleeves though?
Dramatic pause, and we're into the first announcement.
Marvel vs. Capcom 4.
Mega Man, Ryu, Iron Man. People are losing their shit here.
Will this be a PlayStation exclusive like Street Fighter? Given its reveal here you'd imagine so.
Dubbed Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite.
Coming 2017. I believe that CG trailer is all we're getting for now - more tonight at the Capcom Cup.
Someone is standing and screaming. Still.
He's a very happy chap!
Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is available today on PS4.
Sorry for the screaming. It's just that I really like Shawn and I can't control myself.
I'm genuinely worried some of these people are going to break on-stage and tear Shawn's clothes off.
I mean, I know I threaten stuff like that, but I never actually come near to doing it.
This looks like WipEout HD.
And it is - Fury, 2048 and HD all coming to PS4 next summer. Will it get VR support? Hope to find out in the coming days.
Straight into Sparrow Racing for Destiny. I don't think even Destiny obsessives Tom P and Wes care about this one.
Good job there's more - new quests and a challenge mode, plus new gear all coming to Destiny in a festive update.
Again, hope to bring you more on this later - we're down to see this today.
Destiny The Dawning - coming December 13th.
Oh, Icebreaker is back! I'm actually quite into that.
Too busy being snarky to see the reveal of one of my favourite Destiny guns.
And more from Activision.
Crash Bandicoot is back - the remaster announced at E3 is being shown here this weekend.
Do I have to be the one to say it? Crash was kind of shit.
Anyway, this remaster looks handsome enough, and faithful to the original. If that's your thing. You weirdos.
Crash Bandicoot N'Sane Trilogy coming 2017.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT SPELLING?
I refuse to type out that nonsense ever again. It shall now be known as simply the Crash remaster.
And something something Call of Duty.
Not feeling this Call of Duty stuff, but feeling that jacket.
IS IT A SHENMUE REFERENCE IT LOOKS LIKE RYO'S JACKET.
I had a jacket like that when I used to walk around and pretend I was Ryo. I was such a jerk.
Anyway, enough about me - there's a new demo update for Resident Evil 7.
Hopefully we'll find out what that finger is all about.
The demo will have PSVR support.
A new extended look at Resident Evil 7, which is looking damn fine.
Aaaaand Ace Combat 7 - it will be playable here.
It'll have VR support, I'd imagine. And it'll be as batshit crazy as the other Ace Combat games, by the looks of it.
Californian Sally Phillips is back on-stage. We're onto Capcom Cup now, which is happening later tonight.
Ace Combat. Nobody says 'Ace' anymore. I think they need to get with the times and change it to 'swag combat' or something.
I say wizard. Wizard combat sounds nice.
Akuma reveal now for Street Fighter 5. God I hate Akuma - mainly because I've been on the wrong end of so many spankings from him.
If that sounds sexy it's because it is.
5 new characters inbound in season 2 of Street Fighter 5 as well. How long 'til the internet figures out what all those silhouettes were?
Shu takes the stage, and people start chanting his name. You don't get this at E3!
I saw Shu staggering across a car park last night coming from the steak house. He looked like he'd had a fun night.
God I'm turning this live report into the 3am Girls with my insipid celebrity spots.
Anyway - The Last Guardian. We have a review of this going up on Monday. I've read it. I'm very excited to play this game.
I think this will be an okay video game, everyone.
I mean, yeah. I want to play that video game.
Martin, not shit?
That's basically our new rating.
And Parappa the Rapper. They're bringing the juice.
This looks very much like a remake.
Parappa the Rapper 20th Anniversary. And it looks like we're getting remasters of Patapon and secret best game ever Loco Roco.
The demo for Parappa is out today. Have at it.
And here's a new game from Japan Studio!
There is an air of...
I don't know what to call it. Confusion? Bewilderment?
And now a stunned silence. Everyone, the PlayStation sequel you've been asking for is finally here.
I can't believe I was in the room when this happened.
What a proud moment.
Why not announce Bomberman Act Zero 2 while they're at it?
EL OH EL.
Anyway, this is more like it - Gravity Rush 2!
Free DLC coming to Gravity Rush 2 in March.
So much more Gravity Rush 2 coming.
'A lot of players have asked us to make Raven playable' says Shu. 'Yeah right' says someone in the audience. Amazing.
A new Gran Turismo trailer. Excuse me while I unbutton my trousers.
A look at some of the changing light conditions in the game, a tease of the VR mode and some AMAZING shots of the GT3 Merc SLS AMG. I'll be having some of that.
Oh come on. You can't follow up GT Sport with a new look at Ni No Kuni 2. I'm about to explode here.
Ni No Kuni is one of the all-time greats, in my opinion. If only for Drippy and his amazing stand-up comedy sketch.
MORE WELSH ACCENTS PLEASE LEVEL 5.
Ni No Kuni 2 Revenant Kingdom - coming in 2017. Which is closer to a release date than we've come before.
That was a tidy trailer
I GOT THAT REFERENCE.
Gio Corsi now for the indie stuff.
This is where the good stuff is.
Yakuza 6 coming west, as is Kiwami - the remake.
Some guy is heckling the Yakuza 6 trailer and it might be the greatest thing ever.
And they just announced a Vita game, to chants of 'Vita, Vita' in the audience.
And now Nier Automata - there's a demo coming soon.
We're rattling through this all at such a pace that I think this could wrap on the hour.
Still 20 minutes to go though!
And we're getting a Ys game on-stage. What beautiful madness is this?
Ys Origin, coming in 2017 and Vita. They're announcing more Vita games. What is going on.
And Dreadnought. A PS4 exclusive that I'll admit I'd not heard of before. From Yager, the people that brought you Spec Ops: The Line, mind!
It has space ships in it. I like space ships.
Supergiant's Pyre now. So much games.
Maybe they should just stop doing E3 shows. This is indeed very good
I'd be up for that, it's ace to have the fans here.
I think the big - and quite lovely - takeaway from this is that the Vita is still very much alive.
Vane - which, I believe, is from ex-Team Ico devs - gets a proper reveal now.
As you might expect, it looks a bit like Ico.
Absolver, the Devolver game with lovely meaty combat, gets its moment in the spotlight.
And there's some of that lovely combat in action.
And seagull woman
What if I told you *I'm* seagull woman?
Elsewhere, it's just been confirmed that the Uncharted game we saw earlier is a standalone.
Meanwhile, here's Edith Finch.
If your dog has just gone batshit crazy it's because I'm making the biggest high-pitched scream right now.
This is Housemarque's collaboration with Eugene Jarvis.
Screw Half-Life 3. This is all I want to play, forever.
Hopefully we'll have more on that for you over the weekend. It's the first thing I'm going to be playing when this is over.
It might be all I'm playing all weekend.
(oh, and that Housemarque game, previously known as The Jarvis project, is called Nex Machina).
Grasshopper's new game is out today.
A surprise release for... Er, what's it called again?
Lily Bergamo? No, that's not it.
LET IT DIE! That's what it's called. And it's out nooooooooooooooooooooow.
It's available for free today.
(it is a free-to-play game, it's worth bearing in mind).
Garou is out today for Vita and PS4.
As I'm an absolute prick I have that on my arcade cabinet at home. But still! I'll be picking it up. A wonderful, wonderful game.
And oh yeah here's Lara Croft Go. And Vita!
FUCKING WINDJAMMERS EVERYONE.
aka THE GREATEST GAME EVER. Go and buy this now!
Well, I'm enjoying this.
I might start screaming with everyone else. Screw being professional. WINDJAMMERS EVERYONE.
Oh here's some VR stuff.
Starblood Arena is a new PSVR game that might be okay I dunno it's not Windjammers is it?
WINDJAMMERS! Just say it out loud. Feel it roll off your tongue. Windjammers. Rejoice!
And here's some more games coming to PSVR. None of which are Windjammers.
Would it be bad if I ran on stage now and just hissed Windjammers?
Nioh's next, and here's a new trailer of a game that looks great but isn't Windjammers.
Martin. Have we encountered your 'Lose your shit' game yet?
It was the Housemarque/Jarvis thing. But now I think it's Windjammers too?
Something something baseball.
I have no idea what's going on. Sorry.
So, after baseball here's Guerrila Games with a new trailer for Horizon.
I still don't know how to spell Guerillla.
Guerilla! Goooarla. Can we just call them Gorilla Games? That's so much easier.
I've missed most of this trailer while I try and remember how to spell Guerilla.
Looks alright though, this. Even if the artstyle is a bit Cyberdog.
Shawn is on-stage. I'm about to rush him down and just whisper WINDJAMMERS in his ear.
Now, one last thing.
This is going to be good.
No, wait. It's....
People are cheering a rusty car. Videogames!
The Last of Us 2, everyone.
Ellie is back.
As is Joel.
I mean it looks okay, but it's not Windjammers is it?
That was quite a good show, right?
Thanks for joining us today. Hope it was worthwhile for you all!
I certainly had fun. Happy Windjammers day everyone! We'll have more on the show through the weekend for you all. LATERS.