Welcome to another E3 showing from Nintendo! This year we get a more low key pre-recorded Nintendo Direct broadcast rather than the usual fancypants conference.
Happy Nintendo day! Now the shouting's done between Microsoft and Sony - with a little chorus on either side supplied by Ubisoft and EA - it's time to sink back and enjoy the relatively mellow charms of Nintendo's E3 slate. There's no conference this year, though the Nintendo Direct that's kicking off at 3pm BST this afternoon is pretty much a like for like replacement.
What will its stance on DRM and used games be? Oh wait, we already know that. As we do what it's likely to show, with a new 3D Mario and Mario Kart slated to make an appearance, as well as the first trailer for the new Smash Bros. game.
Beyond that, there's some hope that we'll see Bayonetta 2 in action, and a somewhat slimmer chance that Nintendo finally reveals what Retro Studios has been working on these past few years. Can we expect a Wii U price-cut as well, and are there any surprises in store for the Nintendo 3DS? The EG team will be taking you through the show from 3pm BST, so join us for reasoned commentary and a few overexcited yelps.
After Microsoft and Sony's squabbling we'll hopefully get to the main event - a chance to see Nintendo legend Shigeru Miyamoto cosplay as Link.
Nintendo of America ass-kicker Reggie will also surely make an appearance. If you don't watch he'll know.
A pre-recorded event will hopefully mean a showing without any Wii Remote technical problems or endless 4-player demos of Pac-Man Versus (remember that year?)
What will Nintendo call its next 3D Mario, then? Mario Galaxy 3 - no, wait, that's Sega's new Sonic game.
That's your man Reggie, Nintendo of America's Bill Trinen, European boss Satoru Shibata, Miyamoto and Iwata, there. Aonuma obviously had trouble getting his Black Widow costume on.
I think a price cut is a sure thing after Sony's PS4 price release.
Retailers are already selling the Wii U at huge discount in the UK, some as low as £199. Will Nintendo make this official, or throw in a couple of extra games?
Hey Nintendo, announce a new Retro Studios-developed Metroid game and I'll let you off the £300 I spent back last November.
Given that Nintendo Direct is pre-recorded, unless they intersperse it with some live comments from the top bods, a reaction to the PS4 price is unlikely
The conference won't just be about Wii U, of course. 3DS has lots to look forward to, including a new Zelda: Link to the Past sequel, Pokémon X/Y and its own version of Smash Bros.
Advance Wars. Please?
Perhaps even a 3DS XXL with an integrated Circle Pad, too?
Dare to dream...
What are the chances of a Retro-made Stunt Race FX?
I paid £80 for Stunt Race FX when it came out. Such a mug.
Tetrisphere. Now there is a game.
@Erp - REALLY?! That is genuinely exciting to hear.
Surely Tetrisphere would be amazing in 3D, too.
@Skith666 - as long as you aren't a surgeon, I think you'll be okay.
Or a pilot.
@Erp - I'm on it. Thanks so much!
We're in! Pokemon X and Y.
My favourite chromosomes.
The leaks were true! Fairy Pokemon.
Take that Dragon Pokemon.
I saw a man eating a bag of Walkers with a pair of chopsticks the other day.
Yeah, EG's feed isn't working. http://www.nintendo.co.uk/Misc-/Nintendo-Direct/Latest-Nintendo-Direct/Nintendo-Direct-698557.html
New 3D Mario.
Looks 3D Landish.
Super Mario 3D World for Wii U.
Four players in a 3D world. Mario Luigi Toad and Princess Peach.
Toad is faster, for example.
Co-op or competition.
New power-up: Cat Mario. He is sick everywhere and ruins armchairs.
Not really - can climb walls and scratch enemies.
Out in December.
Mario Kart for Wii U next!
Looks like it has vertical walls, and wheels which can turn round to grab different surfaces.
Of course there's a Princess Peach's Castle level.
And it's called... Mario Kart 8!
Mario Kart 8's coming out in Spring 2014.
It's not just racing other players but sharing the fun with other people around the world. Mario Kart 8 will launch in spring 2014.
And, in far less exciting news, it's a new Mario Party.
Wii Party U a mix of party games, naturally - it's at least a good workout for the GamePad.
It was intended for release this summer - but it's being pushed back to an undisclosed date.
ALSO DELAYED! Wii Fit U.
Being delayed for new features.
And another apology from Iwata. Maybe they should announce that you can play used games on the Wii U seeing as that's a feature now?
On to the Miiverse now.
There's a new instalment of Art Academy but - this is a trend here - it's not near completion.
But the drawing tool developed for it will be available on the eShop this summer.
Giving Miiverse creations another boost.
I'm already in awe of what's on the Miiverse. This is actually quite exciting.
Also Dan in the office has just noticed how intense Iwata's eyebrows are.
Running through third-party offerings now - there's Batman: Arkham Origins, on Wii U and 3DS.
Deus Ex: Human Revolution Director's Cut, Just Dance and Disney Infinity.
Scribblenauts DC, again on Wii U and 3DS, and Disney's Planes.
Blacklist is coming on August 21st, and Sonic Galaxy - sorry, Sonic Lost World - is due this year.
All stuff we knew about, but it's a sizeable list nevertheless.
This could be an announcement of sorts - Nintendo's support of indies, which is already fairly strong, is rumoured to be bolstered soon.
There's DuckTales, Dungeons and Dragons. Wait, these aren't indies? Sorry, they're digital downloads.
Scram Kitty and Shovel Knight and Spin the Bottle - now they're proper indies.
Legend of Zelda Wind Waker now.
There's a new video. It's HD, obviously. Some of the purity of the original's cel-shading's been lost, though, and I can't help but feel sad about that.
The bloom that we saw in our first look's been toned down, mind, and this looks a lot more convincing.
Will they be restoring the infamous missing dungeons?
The Wii U version runs at 1080p.
And there have been adjustments to the game....
Right now, they're just announcing that the Tingle Tuner - previously accessed by hooking up a GBA to the GameCube - is aped by the GamePad. Kind of - you can now post to MiiVerse with the Tingle Tuner.
Legend of Zelda Wind Waker HD is due in October.
Wonderful 101 now, which is out before then.
Ohhh BOY. Back in time for WOnderful 101.
Lovely hit-pause in this one. It feels like you're chewing through baddies.
Which is out on August 23rd over here. Not long to wait!
Do go on Twitter and ask Kamiya if Bayonetta's going to end up in Smash Bros, BTW. That always turns out well.
The spirit of Viewtiful Joe is alive and well.
There'll be a Wonderful 101 dedicated Direct soon.
A new Kong game. Exciting, but please tell me this isn't what Retro's been up to all this time.
Is this what Retro's been up to? Adding jelly to Donkey Kong?
Donkey Kong's island has been over-run by vikings.
It'll be the first Donkey Kong in HD.
And you can see his fur flowing! I don't want to see the Retro logo anywhere near this, though.
Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze, coming out later this year.
Oh well, we're about to see Bayonetta from the... front? Say what Iwata?
She's got shorter hair. The camera's still a total perv too.
Ulp. Looks like Donkey Kong is being made by Retro.
Yeah, short hair is a feature.
Just heard that Donkey Kong is being developed by Retro....
Maybe Nintendo has asked Double Helix to make the new Metroid.
Oh well. Bayonetta 2 looks great in action.
Where is METROID
It's dead. As is my heart right now.
On the plus side, Monolithsoft's RPG looks absolutely marvellous.
The goal's to create a large scale open world, says Iwata.
Leaning on the experience from Xenoblade.
Monolithsoft's working on a large-scale open world. Wii U. Robots and dinosaurs.
2014. Please stay tuned.
Robots, big arse monsters and an amazing open world. A 2014 release.
ONE FINAL GAME.
Smash Bros. to take us home.
Tell me that Nook Jerk is in Smash Bros.
If you could smackdown Nook that would indeed be a thing.
Can you hit someone with Link's train?
Metroid. Too soon, Nintendo. Too soon.
Alright, you can play as the villager from Animal Crossing.
Super Smash Bros for 3DS and Wii U. Knock over trees!
Mega Man's in it this time.
Lordy, and Mega Man's in it too.
But yeah, the villager from Animal Crossing! Exciting, right?
Smash Bros website and Miiverse community opening today by the sounds of it.
Being released in 2014.
This was underwhelming. Hardly a single game announced that we didn't already know about and everything is delayed.
Don't forget that Retro's making a new game! Oh, and it's a new Donkey Kong. Yeah, that wasn't all that.
Hmm. Some lovely stuff in there, but some real disappointments too.
Mario looks great, but I think a lot of us were hoping for a Galaxy follow-up of some kind.
And no Metroid.
There's always Gamescom?
That's the end of the conferences. There's plenty more to come from E3, of course.
Oli's going to be checking out Nintendo's games later today, and will be giving you his impressions soon.
By this point, Nintendo might as well call its E3 press event: There's Always Gamescom.
Plus there's plenty more to discover from Sony and Microsoft et al.
When does this start?
@Sid-Nice come back in 12 months and maybe they'll have something?
Well, that old Zelda game looked nice, didn't it?
It's not looking like a great Christmas for Nintendo - going up against two new consoles with a ten-year-old Zelda and a Mario that, quite honestly, looks rushed.
Sorry, just had to go and wipe away the tears, which seems to be something of a tradition when it comes to Nintendo at E3 lately. Anyway, that's a wrap. Hope you can join us here for the rest of the show!
Still! At least we learned there's a Tetrisphere clone on Android, right?