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Sony patents way of identifying pirated software by measuring load times

Sounds reliable.

Sony has patented a way of using load times to identify whether software being used is legitimate or pirated.

Effectively, the idea establishes a benchmark for a certain type of software and then measures all other software against it. If it's too far out of an acceptable threshold then you're instantly thrown in prison.

His face pops up with the caption "Bad form!"

Err, not really - it doesn't say what happens next. Maybe there are unicorns - police unicorns.

The patent, snappily labelled "Benchmark Measurement for Legitimate Duplication Validation" (via DarkZero), was filed in August 2011. It was published 21st February 2013.

Its proximity to the unveiling of PlayStation 4 suggests possible ties. Do note that this concerns identifying pirated software, not blocking used games from being played - something PS4 was rumoured to do but Sony recently ruled out.