Wonderful Team Fortress 2 Pyromania patch brings rainbows, flowers, musical death-instruments

See the world as the Pyro does, right now.

Say hello to rainbows, flowers, musical death-instruments and Balloonicorn - Pyroland has landed in Team Fortress 2.

This technicolour world arrives in today's 400MB free and automatic Team Fortress 2 update. Pyroland is the world as the Pyro sees it.

Share his vision, and general bonkers-ness, by equipping one of the new musical-themed instruments of death (Pyro weapon reskins, it seems), or by equipping the Pyrovision Goggles.

You won't be able to see the new-look weapons unless you have Pyrovision.

Altogether not as creepy as Drew Barrymore.

The Goggles can be worn by all TF2 classes and are free to anyone who logs in between now and next Thursday, 5th July. After that, you can earn a pair by dominating someone who's wearing the Pyrovision Goggles.

The new musical instruments of death are the Rainblower, Lollichop, Burning Bongos and Infernal Orchestrina. And their descriptions are too good not to share.

The Rainblower: "Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed by fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire)."

"Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed by fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire)."

Description of The Rainblower

The Lollichop: "Fill (split) your buddies' tummies (skulls) with delicious candy (cold steel) with this oversized sugary treat."

The Burning Bongos: "When you were a kid, all you wanted was to play the bongos. But then you grew up and, like all of us, realised you're not as good at bongos as Matthew McConaughey. Well, guess what, pal: nobody is, or ever will be. What, are you going to give up just because he's the best?"

The Infernal Orchestra: "Your BFFs (enemies) will turn their frowns upside down (confront their own mortality) as they dance a merry jig to (run in terror from) these cheery tunes (soul-destroying funeral dirges)."

All but the Infernal Orchestra come with a custom taunt.

Balloonicorn, incidentally, is the mayor of Pyroland. Sounds like a run-in with him/it will be inevitable.

The full Team Fortress 2 patch notes can be read on Steam.

Today's Pyroland update is part of the Pyromania festival of activity from Valve. Over the course of three Earth-human days, we've been invited to Meet the Pyro via the medium of snazzy video, and been given the Source Filmmaker with which to make our own animations. And it's all free! As free as an idea! As free as a dream!

Meet the Pyro, or perhaps run away screaming.

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About the author

Robert Purchese

Robert Purchese

Senior Staff Writer  |  Clert

Bertie is senior staff writer and Eurogamer's Poland-and-dragons correspondent. He's part of the furniture here, a friendly chair, and reports on all kinds of things, the stranger the better.


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