samk Comments

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  • Lone Survivor Review

  • samk 25/04/2012

    I bought and completed the standalone version of this. Highly recommended if the thought of old-school Silent Hill in 2D grabs you.

    Apparently the guy who made it (and big respect to him for making a quality game singlehandledly) is sorting out Steam keys for those who bought the standalone version. Tremendous, glad I supported him by buying it.
    Reply +2
  • First Legend of Grimrock patch out this week

  • samk 16/04/2012

    Great to hear it's sold so well and already more than covered their development costs. Hopefully it'll have long legs and continue selling well.

    MrWonderStuff: "I hope devs are looking at this and realising that this genre still has mileage in it."

    Amen to that.
    Reply +2
  • Sony explains why you can't transfer UMDs to your Vita

  • samk 22/02/2012

    What a bunch of idiots.

    My PSP is 6 years old and seen a lot of usage so is on its last legs now. I'm not remotely interested in any of the Vita's launch titles but if it was possible to transfer some old PSP favourites (mostly JRPGs) for a small fee I'd order a Vita right now. I was waiting to hear whether they allow this, evidently not, which means I won't be buying a Vita anytime soon.

    Good going, jackasses.

    Edit: wot Ryze said. :)
    Reply +2
  • Amy Review

  • samk 11/01/2012

    "The gaps are clearly large enough for Lana to crawl through as well, but that's typical of design that throws immersion out of the window at every turn."

    Indeed. I watched the videos before reading the review and my reaction on seeing the girl crawl through the gap that supposedly the woman cannot was "hang on, *I* could fit through that gap, and I'm a 6 foot bloke in my mid thirties."

    I'll wait for the Resi Evil and Silent Hill remakes methinks.
    Reply +4
  • What Went Wrong With The 360 Dashboard?

  • samk 10/01/2012

    Another here who really doesn't like the new dashboard whatsoever, in fact given its UI design principles this dashboard has also persuaded me to avoid Metro on my next phone upgrade, or 'upgrading' to Windows 8 on my desktop. And this from a long-time Xbox fan way back to the original Xbox1 release. Good job, team!

    The stuff I use is now buried under yet more menus, taking a backseat to adverts. Plus some of the functionality is just plain broken. For instance 'Quickplay' is anything but quick - more often than not it doesn't populate the list with anything whatsoever, and when it does it seems to display a random list of games I've played in the last year. It's so rubbish I've given up using that, and have to resort to scrolling through pages of games. Godawful UI right there.
    Reply +5
  • Flatout 3: Chaos & Destruction Review

  • samk 05/01/2012

    So, it's every bit as bad as though awful trailers suggested it would be.

    "Flatout 3 is much faster than its predecessors, and it's far too fast."

    Judging by the review it's riddled with bugs and sloppy code, but the above part of the review shows the devs completely lost the plot anyway with what made the Flatout series good in the first place.

    Even if the game was reasonably competent I simply wouldn't have bought it anyway, despite having bought all the previous Flatout games. For me, Flatout never was about massive speed and ridiculous turbo, I liked it for the jostling with opponents and smashing through scenery on muddy uneven tracks.

    Note to racing devs; faster does not necessarily equal better.
    Reply +2
  • Duke Nukem Forever: The Doctor Who Cloned Me Review

  • samk 20/12/2011

    "That means the same arsenal of weightless, ineffectual weaponry wedged into the same two slots"

    The two-slot weapon limitation was made even worse due to one particularly idiotic achievement that required you to carry a golden pistol throughout the entire game. The pistol was even more ineffectual than the other weapons (which is saying something as the review states) and effectively limited your arsenal to ONE weapon! I put up with it for about two levels before disgarding the naff pistol.
    Reply 0
  • Naughty Dog's new PS3-exclusive The Last of Us trailer

  • samk 12/12/2011

    I Am Legend meets The Road, featuring Juno, by the Uncharted devs. SOLD! Reply 0
  • PC game FlatOut 3: Chaos & Destruction released next week

  • samk 07/12/2011

    Godawful trailer. I bought the previous Flatout games and they were great fun, but I'll be steering well clear of this.

    Judging by the couple of trailers I've seen they've removed the aspects I found fun (jostling with opponents and smashing through scenery on muddy uneven tracks) and instead it's about ridiculous turbo cars continually hitting solid walls and exploding.
    Reply +3
  • Download Games Roundup

  • samk 15/07/2011

    I gave Boulderdash a go last night and it really is a visual horrorshow. Plus the retro mode doesn't actually look retro at all, it still has a naff 3D effect, with an even worse colour scheme. The gameplay is of course still classic though.

    Jamestown is a great game, though I personally don't like the way it removes difficulty settings for the more difficult levels.
    Reply 0
  • UK Top 40: Zumba Fitness ousts Portal 2

  • samk 09/05/2011

    I saw an advert on prime time telly for Steel Diver recently and wondered what the hell Ninty were doing. I mean, they expected punters who bought Wii Fit, Nintendogs, Brain Training, Pokemon etc to buy a submarine game?! Totally idiotic. Reply +3
  • The boy who stole Half-Life 2

  • samk 21/02/2011

    Great article. More of this please, less of the "Why I Hate..." fanboy baiting guff. Reply +11
  • Enemies shown in Resistance 3 screens

  • samk 14/02/2011

    Loved Res1, but didn't like Res2 and as a result hadn't planned on buying Res3, but damn those screens look great. Reply 0
  • Uncharted movie has Sopranos-like family

  • samk 11/02/2011

    "because it's centred around a family, and I like the combination of criminals and truth. These guys they're tough but they're working on this crazy case, and they can't do it without truth. I think that's cool"

    WTF is this guy talking about?

    Attn. David O. Russell / Columbia Pictures...

    Yo douches, follow these steps:

    1) Actually bother to play both Uncharted games to see what the fuss is about.
    2) Watch the Indy 1-3 movies.
    3) Cast Nathan Fillion.
    Reply 0
  • DiRT 3: “The Americanisation might have gone too far.”

  • samk 11/02/2011

    "We wanted it to feel you were at an X-Games-style event."

    I certainly didn't want to feel like I was at one of these shitty events, doing high fives with computerised jocks who told me how I killed it out there.

    "introduces some of those street cool elements, such as Ken Block's Gymkhana driving"

    Good grief. It's not difficult, chap: forget about "street cool", ditch all the shitty truck racing and hillbilly vehicles, and stick to WRC-style rallying and hillclimbing on long stages.
    Reply +10
  • Speedball 2 for iPhone screenshots

  • samk 03/02/2011

    Those screenshots look terrible, some absolutely horrific colour schemes. Much prefer the old look. Reply 0
  • Jon Hare's Sensible resurrection

  • samk 03/02/2011

    I grew up playing many of these games, but come on. You can't lay into everyone else for lack of originality over recent years, having evidently hardly even played any recent games, then say you're working on rehashing your old games. Reply +20
  • Not many downloaded free Gears 2 DLC

  • samk 21/12/2010

    spekkeh: "For somebody who never plays online on the xbox, I hope more devs read this, come to their senses and create more compelling singleplayer games."

    Amen to that.

    Speaking generally, I don't know why a lot of devs bother adding a multiplayer component at all. Chances are, unless it's Halo or CoD, the MP component will be totally useless to anyone who buys/rents the game a few months+ after its original release. If the devs have ideas for a genuinely compelling multiplayer, then great, but just tacking on the obligatory deathmatch seems a total waste of resources that would surely be better spent improving the singleplayer.
    Reply +2
  • samk 21/12/2010

    "It was free, in the box, they just never bothered to do it. So again, why? Is it a matter of accessibility? Is it people don't like typing in a 16-digit code? What's the reason? It's a weird numbers game."

    It's easy, Jim. Try: lots of us couldn't care less about online multiplayer, so won't bother with multiplayer DLC even if it's free.

    Now, can we have some single player & coop DLC for Gears 3 please?
    Reply +18
  • Meat Boy, Bad Company 2 lead Steam sale

  • samk 21/12/2010

    I loaded Steam last night to have a quick 45 minute blast on L4D and ended up spending the entire time mooching around the special offers, and spent Ł30. The Steam sales is a game in itself, filled with fun. Reply +1
  • Mobile Games Roundup

  • samk 02/11/2010


    There have been loads of great games on iPhone recently. I'm having to recharge the bloody thing all the time.
    Reply 0
  • Lost Planet and Dead Rising cost Capcom

  • samk 05/10/2010

    "No other game lets me use a vacuum cleaner combined with saw blades to kill zombies while dressed up like Shaun Of The Dead or a hairy prostitute."

    Amen to that.

    Yesterday I was dressed in a biker outfit with a cowboy hat and go-go boats, throwing molotovs at a mate who was dressed in army attire with a Russian hat, riding around in a buggy trying to run me over and get me killed by the 100-odd zombies milling around, who were getting hacked to pieces by the half-dozen survivors following me outfitted with battle axes and broadswords.
    Reply 0
  • Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes

  • samk 20/09/2010

    Really looking forward to this as the DS game was great. Day one purchase for me. Reply 0
  • Ancient Trader

  • samk 09/08/2010

    Thanks for the review. Going to buy this when I get home. The cartographic art style is lovely. Reply +1
  • Next OpFlash "takes on board feedback"

  • samk 06/08/2010

    Choice quotes from the IGN article:

    "Generally, the impression I get is that 90% of people that played the game loved it"

    "10% of people didn't think it was hard enough"

    Absolutely hilarious. Judging by the groundswell in this thread, 90% of people thought it was total shit, and I'm one of them. Dragon Rising killed the franchise for me, and this next one looks to be heading in the wrong direction...

    "We've made sure that earlier levels in the game look like earlier levels in the Call of Duties and Bad Companies so as not to alienate the player"

    Oh dear. Talk about not remotely understanding why so many people liked the original.
    Reply +11
  • Disciples III: Renaissance

  • samk 18/07/2010

    I've bought this and played through half-a-dozen of the campaign missions so far.

    The battle system transition from static pieces to hex really doesn't add very much at all, and now relegates Disciples into yet another HoMM clone. In every single battle the ranged units just remain where they started and the melee units go forward to engage each other in the middle, which gets incredibly mindless by the 100th battle.

    There is sometimes extra interest by the units fighting over the occasional 2x damage hex, but all the transition to hex has done is prolong the battles by melee units taking a few turns to get into position before they start trading blows. I'm finding I auto-resolve a lot of battles, just because I can't be bothered moving loads of units around yet again.

    The battlefield units are generally really well animated, but they've lost a lot of the characterisation from D2 because they're now so small in order to fit the entire hex battlefield on screen. From [link=">this to
    Reply 0
  • samk 09/07/2010

    "Using this argument, why bother with damage, armour representation, or unit types? Every game is of course a mass of abstractions. Surely the trick is to abstract while retaining the essential character of the activity you are attempting to represent."

    Yep I totally agree, they're not needed...providing the game design is fun and interesting enough so their inclusion isn't warranted. As I said, the kitchen sink doesn't have to be included as standard in turn-based wargames, or the game is somehow a poor relation. There are approximately half a million JRPGs with static piece battle systems - a bunch of early Final Fantasy games for instance - and they're by no means poor relations just because the troops can't be moved, their battle systems were designed such that movement would just over complicate and as such wasn't required.

    That's the impression I got from reading your review, whether knowingly on your part or not, and this is actually reinforced by your Aliens game example. Why couldn't you design an Aliens turn-based wargame with static piece xenomorph? You said yourself that the trick is to abstract while retaining the character (which I agree with). It is still entirely possible to give the impression of the Aliens' attacking speed without actual piece movement; for instance Disciples2 itself had an "initiative" attribute which governed attack speed.

    Anyway, I'm yet to try the Disciples3 demo, so perhaps movement is appropriate in the revamped battle system, in which case, great. :D
    Reply 0
  • samk 09/07/2010

    Whether manouevre is a fundamental part of warfare is totally irrelevant. We're talking about abstracted games here, not real world simulations. Would allowing z movement improve Chess, since terrain height is also a fundamental part of warfare? No, Chess is so tightly designed that it's not needed. Disciples3 *could* have been designed such that battle movement wasn't needed, much like Disciples2 was. (The Disciples2 battle system wasn't perfect, but personally the static piece battling was one of the main things I really liked about the game and helped distinguish it from other games in this genre).

    In a video game with two sides battling against each other the designer can of course create the rules and mechanics as he wishes. The important thing is that if the game has static pieces then its rules and mechanics are designed with this in mind, and allowing the pieces to move wouldn't automatically improve such a game as you seemed to suggest in the review. Strategy games don't neccessarily need to include the kitchen sink to mimic some real world tactics, only what's required to make them fun and interesting.

    You asked for an example...Magic: the Gathering essentially has static pieces as the cards are not moved on a board, so range is no determining factor of whether a creature can attack an enemy. Introducing a board and allowing movement wouldn't automatically improve that game, and going further, would introducing terrain height, terrain type, supply, etc to the board improve it even more, since they're also fundamental parts of warfare? I'd suggest introducing those elements would only unneccessarily complicate it.
    Reply +2
  • samk 08/07/2010

    "The new hex system, while tried and true, is something we see in basically every game of the genre, it was the single thing that really distinguished the Disciples game mechanics from it's rivals."

    And I wholeheartedly agree with that.

    Just like real-time strategy is not necessarily "better" than turn-based strategy, allowing pieces to move around in turn-based strategy isn't necessarily "better" than stationary pieces. Each can have its place with game mechanics designed for that particular type of game.

    There were all sorts of ways in which the stationary piece battle system of Disciples2 could have expanded; swapping units in/out during battles, extra gaining rows/columns, outfitting each unit with unique loot, etc etc. I'm hoping I like this Hex system they've adopted, but after reading feedback including in this thread I'm not holding my breath.
    Reply 0
  • samk 08/07/2010

    "For Disciples disciples, the most welcome aspect of the Renaissance renaissance has to be the revamped combat system. Gone is the old 12-square chessboard with its static pieces; in its place is a 117-cell hex-grid on which units can roam at will."

    tbh I really liked the static piece approach that Disciples 2 used. It made the battles more about figuring out how to attack enemy units while keeping your own alive, rather than issues with halfwitted battlefield AI and wasting turns chasing enemy units around the battlefield, which is what games with battlefields can sometimes degenerate into.

    Looking forward to trying out Disciples3 anyway. The art looks gorgeous - it's good to see an art style that looks hand-drawn and grown up. Way too many games of this ilk have godawful cartoony styling.
    Reply 0
  • 3DTV in every home in 3 years – Ubisoft

  • samk 09/07/2010

    lol - hilarious.

    None of the rest of my immediate family even have a HDTV yet.
    Reply +32
  • Football Manager for iPhone tomorrow

  • samk 12/04/2010

    @Les and wowami - amen to that.

    I used to love the old PC Champ Manager games. Get some beers in with mates and play through an entire season in one lazy summer afternoon.

    Unfortunately we lost interest with PC FM2008 and haven't bothered buying any since. It'd become complicated to the point we couldn't even get the pre-season friendlies out of the way in an afternoon.

    Haven't tried any of the simplified PSP versions so might give the iPhone one a go tomorrow.
    Reply 0
  • English Metro 2033 keeps Russian VO

  • samk 02/02/2010

    That's really good to hear. I wished more games had the bravery to do this. Plenty of games and indeed movies too have had their atmosphere utterly ruined by comedy voice overs.

    The other day I watched Das Boot with the English voice overs (the missus refused to watch the original German version...bah). The film makers had used all the skill and talent to craft an incredibly tense atmosphere...which was utterly spoilt by comedy accents in the English voice over.
    Reply 0
  • Death by Cube

  • samk 01/02/2010

    I tried the demo for this and thought it was bloody awful, pardon the pun. It came across not as stylised, but as cheap and tacky and slapped together.

    Plus the in-game payment system was designed by an utter cretin. If someone downloads your demo, you don't want their first involvement with your game to be working out how the daft convoluted in-game purchasing works.

    There's now so much worthwhile stuff on XBLA that you wonder why they bother releasing crap like this.
    Reply 0
  • Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes

  • samk 07/01/2010

    I imported this and have completed it - highly recommended.

    The one gripe I had was that it's not possible to preview the level of opponents so I was regularly instigating fights against considerably tougher opponents. It may sound like not an issue at all but the kicker is you lose some resources if you quit a battle and if you decide to fight it anyway you risk losing some Champion and Elite units.
    Reply +3
  • Ubisoft writer confirms Far Cry 3

  • samk 25/11/2009

    Yes, the respawning camps did ruin the game for some of us, and no they couldn't be avoided unless you wanted to do a lot more mindless walking.

    I'm usually a sucker for FPS games but didn't play FC2 for long before I'd already had enough. It simply quickly dawned on me that I'd be spending most of my time traipsing backwards and forwards across an enormous map taking out the same enemies for the umpteenth time, for no reason other than for the devs to pad out the game with filler.
    Reply 0
  • Gearbox keen to revisit Brothers in Arms

  • samk 23/10/2009

    Why bother? Five (I think) games in yet Brothers in Arms is hardly a franchise that has captured the imaginations of many. Put it to bed and do something else. Reply +4
  • Exclusive: Uncharted 2 climbing gameplay

  • samk 28/09/2009

    They really need to get someone other than the CEO of the company to play while making these videos - they create an amazing looking game, then some fool staggers around randomly and spoils the impression. Reply +1
  • BioShock 2 multiplayer gameplay

  • samk 07/09/2009

    Dear God that looks terrible. I wish they'd have just focused on the SP. Reply +4
  • Wolfenstein

  • samk 21/08/2009

    "The sprint move is slippery, assigned as it is to a press of the left stick"

    Why do devs persist with this nonsense? One of my main bugbears is controls mapped to pressing in the analog sticks.

    Usually it's crouch mapped to pressing in the left stick. When being chased by some big creature, in my panic to flee the last thing I want to do is fecking crouch if I happen to press the analog stick too hard. Utterly stupid and just overloads the controls.
    Reply +3
  • Fable III - Announcement Trailer

  • samk 19/08/2009

    snore Reply -2
  • R-Type Tactics sequel announced

  • samk 30/07/2009

    "Operation Bitter Chocolate" - when I read that on the front page I thought it was one of the usual EG jokey taglines. Operation Bitter Chocolate is just a ridiculous title.

    I played quite a lot of the first R-Type Tactics (about 40-odd missions before I'd had enough) so I hope they do an English language release. Not convinced by the human v human setting though.
    Reply 0
  • Bionic Commando

  • samk 18/05/2009

    fiery_jackass: "I spent 5 minutes looking at a matchmaking screen that was going nowhere, knowing that even if I DID manage to get a game I'd be getting pasted whilst trying to figure out what the hell the buttons did or what the point of anything was."

    This was pretty similar to my experience, and I'm yet another who was utterly put off by the multiplayer demo.

    Several minutes faffing around in matchmaking then dropped into the middle of a deathmatch game not knowing what the hell was going on with the mechanics. A few players were clearly up to speed and had easy pickings charging around slaughtering everyone else. Changed server, same thing occured; a few guys absolutely caning everyone. So fuck that, quit and delete demo.

    Which knobhead thought an MP-only demo was a good idea??
    Reply 0
  • EA dev outs Dead Space 2

  • samk 11/05/2009

    Excellent news if true. Day-one purchase for me. Loved DS1. Reply 0
  • Duke Nukem Forever

  • samk 11/05/2009

    "these could be screen shots from any generis FPS, very dull"

    My thoughts exactly.

    So bland warehouses is what they've been working on, rather than seedy strip clubs with strippers? No bloody wonder the accountants pulled the plug.
    Reply 0
  • Darkfall Online

  • samk 05/05/2009

    ChthonicEcho: "5 accounts and counting. How many do you think will be made to defend this game in a rabid frenzy? Place your bets."

    It wouldn't surprise me if these neckbeard types have macros setup to keep creating accounts and make new posts to defend their precious games, so they don't have to stop harvesting 34589898934589 twigs to reach level 438985 in the comfy confines of their mansweat-fogged caves.
    Reply 0
  • Ninety-Nine Nights 2 in Japan this year

  • samk 16/04/2009

    I hope the game will actually be completable by mortals this time. The end of game boss in the first game was stupidly difficult. I just gave up. Reply 0
  • The Godfather II

  • samk 07/04/2009

    When can we expect Godfather Pt 3? :o) Reply 0
  • samk 07/04/2009

    Whatever dude, but it's interesting you defended yourself against accusations of the devs posting here, when nobody had mentioned any names. Reply 0
  • samk 07/04/2009

    As for the game itself, I played through half of GF1 before it became clear I'd be doing the same tasks throughout the remainder so packed it in. I was kinda interested in GF2 since I love the movies and hoped EA would make a better job of it, but this review has knocked sense into me and I won't be opening my wallet. Reply 0