lasersrule Comments

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  • F1 2010

  • lasersrule 17/09/2010

    I *so* wish Codemasters build on this with some F1 history titles. Would be awesome to drive some of the 70s and 80s beasts, but I guess old track layouts are a big ask. NORDSCHLEIFFE WITH '76 CARS AS DLC PLS. Reply +8
  • GoldenEye 007

  • lasersrule 15/09/2010

    @Rev Stu

    Nice cherry pick of some lovely, low-res sprites and timeless vectors to counter a claim about a notoriously muddy chipset, dissed for its over-filitered grimness even when it was cutting edge. Most N64 games look pretty ugly in native res on a CRT these days. Same goes for Saturn and PlayStation stuff, mostly. IMO Goldeneye in native looks pretty awful compared to Mario 64. Maybe not quite as bad as Perfect Dark, but still far from what I'd call nostalgic eye candy.
    Reply +8
  • Relic dev died saving wife and child

  • lasersrule 07/09/2010

    Dear god. It's like when Princess Diana died because she didn't wear a seatbelt. Suddenly, they're a saint.

    I'm not saying this isn't tragic, just that this follow-up story *is* completely unnecessary. Also, if you really must post a commiseration, do it on the facebook page or the official forums for the company where the guy actually worked. When posted here, it's just plain weird.
    Reply -15
  • lasersrule 07/09/2010

    Awful news - but car crash deaths happen all the fucking time, which is the greater tragedy.

    This news story *is* mawkish and tabloid. There's little factual content here and the last time I noticed, this is a gaming site. I don't care if every other site is running it, or what Mr Wood did or did not do.

    What I do know is that this is not gaming culture or games industry news - it's as obvious-as-it-comes sensationalist human interest reporting and smacks awfully of post-mortem hero-creation.

    Reply -43
  • Ninety-Nine Nights II

  • lasersrule 03/09/2010

    Rule one of crowd melee games: the grunts don't attack you because YOU'RE THE BADASS and THEY'RE SCARED OF YOU.

    I loved NNN, even with its faults, as it was a hardcore grind and a half that, to max-level all the characters, meant you really honed your routes and combo effeciencies to a level of precision that you don't need in DW. One the characters hit max level, you could properly rape the stages too, with nailing the spark orb attacks being key to rinsing stuff really fucking quick. When done right, it was deeply satisfying and that more than made up for the lack of checkpoints, clunky stage designs and all that.
    Reply +4
  • SEGA dates Vanquish for Europe

  • lasersrule 08/07/2010

    I hate the 'Halo Killer' associations for this and am opting to think 'PNO3 x 1000' instead. Reply +3
  • Test Drive Unlimited 2

  • lasersrule 22/06/2010

  • Kinectimals

  • lasersrule 15/06/2010

    I LOVE THIS IDEA, especially having a fucking TIGER in my 360, but why did they make the cats' faces so, so fucking creepy? Reply 0
  • Devil's Third

  • lasersrule 14/06/2010

    This. Really. Does. Look. EPIC. Reply +1
  • Bodycount

  • lasersrule 14/06/2010

    Just the mere presence of a 'Melanie' in a game, purportedly being all about THE SHOOTAN, makes me proper :(. Reply 0
  • Doom II on XBLA - First 10 Minutes

  • lasersrule 27/05/2010

    The fact that this video exists on EGTV is frankly stunning. Can I have the first 15 mins of EG's debug booting up and doing fuck all, please? It might be slightly more interesting. (THOUGH I HAPPILY CONCEDE THIS HAS NOSTALGIA VALUE FOR ANYONE INCAPABLE OF DOWNLOADING IT FOR THEIR PC) Reply -21
  • Just Cause 2 DLC this month and next

  • lasersrule 23/04/2010

    Guns and planes? How about some, you know, activities to do in such an amazing and huge open world? Reply +4
  • Dead to Rights: Retribution

  • lasersrule 23/04/2010

    Maybe if Mr Oliver spent a little less time evangelising 3D and a bit more time making decent games, this wouldn't have been so very upsetting for all concerned, eh? Reply +2
  • Splinter Cell: Conviction

  • lasersrule 21/04/2010

    A 7 seems fair for this, even though as a long-standing SC fan, the stripping out of Sam's athleticism and non-lethal solutions is a proper fucking insult.

    SC, when played 'properly', used to give me a real sense of pride - that I could get the job done without having to be as amateur as actually killing people and actually shooting lights, or that I could be a ghost and get in and out without any trace of having been there on the majority of the missions. Now, I can't do that. It's actually impossible. In Conviction, that's sense of pride in 'doing things right' has been chucked out the window in order to support two things: Ubi's idea of what Sam's character should be (which is completely implausible for such a megatrained, ultra-pro stealth dude and pure hollywood schlock, really) and the apparent superiority of Ubi's clusterfuck of a story over giving the player the same range of tactical choices that they had in previous titles. Some of the shit Sam does for the sake of a 'cool' cutscene (see the start of the Third Echelon mission) make *zero fucking sense* if Sam really was a highly trained infiltration spy. I can't believe someone as pro as that would turn into a spasticated angry dick under *any* circumstances, including having his daughter done over.

    The story, as it relates the rest of Sam's career, is a total fucking mess of idiocy and inconsistency - and where the fuck can Sam go from here? It's as much a shark-jump as MW2's storyline was. At least the killing is fun and the stealthing's still passable.

    Thank fuck for the Deniable Ops mode. It saves the whole thing in my opinion, even as a singleplayer game.
    Reply +1
  • Cheshire: PSP is a "bollocking useless waste of space"

  • lasersrule 15/03/2010

    Anyone who uses 'bollocking' as an adjective clearly needs to stop considering Red Dwarf as the height of comedy and learn to fucking swear like a fucking adult. Reply +2
  • Heavy Rain's David Cage

  • lasersrule 17/02/2010


    Well, I'd say that based on his work in Fahrenheit, Cage thinks mature media = contains sexual content. Heavy Rain is even more sexualised than Fahrenheit and even more explicit. It's fine to argue that we don't understand the full context, but I don't think that actually matters when clearly, Cage wants sex in games because he thinks that's a mark of maturity. I honestly think such a focus, unless the story is explictly about sexual relationships, is sensationalist and not mature in the sense that he aspires to be. To me, a mature film doesn't need nudity to explore sexuality, for example. If Cage wasn't completely deluded about being mature, he wouldn't have picked such a hackneyed and sensationalist topic (serial killers), he wouldn't have made such a fuss about the lead female (or made her appear naked/undressed several times) and he wouldn't have been so concerned about GETTING THE PLAYER TO FEEL EMOTION.

    None of these are hallmarks of mature media.They're all hallmarks of sensationalist hyperbole. Maybe if he'd made an interesting story out of an everyday life, like say the platonic relationships in a close-knit community, that was free of violence, murder and sex, then I'd take him seriously. As it stands, he's deluding himself and an awful lot of people are falling for it just because Cage knows how to shit you up / turn you on via the medium of mildly interactive cutscene.
    Reply +6
  • lasersrule 17/02/2010

    @Dgzter Protip: claiming your game is going to transcend all others and deliver unprecendented maturity is totally undermined by making your lead female perform a piss and later, a forced striptease - whatever the narrative justification. Reply +1
  • lasersrule 17/02/2010

    I can't believe how full of himself this charlatan is. He thinks he's invented a new genre, when all he's done is extend CD-Rom 'interactive movies' into realtime 3D, with a spot of QTE to manage interaction. Can we please stop listening to this man's self-important ramblings and focus on the fact that his idea of a shining achievement is, at very best, equivalent to navigating an incredibly mediocre straight-to-VHS thriller from 1992.

    I've yet to see a review from a film critic that sees Heavy Rain as anything other than wasteful trash. As for the videogame reviewers marking this highly, well - there's a reason why they're not all film reviewers too, I guess. If the game makes such a HUGE emphasis on utilising filmic tropes to make a game, why should a videogame reviewer's opinion carry any weight? Particularly when we don't know how well-developed their sense of cinematic criticism is...
    Reply -3
  • Endless Ocean 2: Adventures of the Deep

  • lasersrule 28/01/2010

    I *fucking love* Carrickfergus. It's my Mum's home town! Reply +2
  • Bizarre: Blur is about "s*** blowing up"

  • lasersrule 14/08/2009

    Blur has always sounded like the ultimate shark-jump for the MSR/PGR template. As if adding bikes wasn't enough! Reply +2
  • Blitz "convinced" the future is 3DTV

  • lasersrule 30/07/2009

    If you have to wear special glasses, it'll always be a gimmick. Reply +3
  • Splinter Cell, Red Steel, Ghost Recon slip

  • lasersrule 27/07/2009


    Reply +4
  • Free Saints Row 2 fashion DLC today

  • lasersrule 12/06/2009

    Such rubbish DLC. :( Reply 0
  • Disgaea DS

  • lasersrule 23/04/2009

    They fixed the Foresight exploit in the DS version, which majorly sucks. HOWEVER, you can unlock Prinny commentary for all the story parts. It kinda makes up for it but REALLY, the PSP has the bestest handheld version. Looks nicer for one thing. Reply 0
  • Mirror's Edge Pure Time Trial Pack

  • lasersrule 03/03/2009

    Shame on EG for not recognising the clear Demoscene influence on this DLC. DICE has its fair share of ex-demosceners, you know. Reply 0
  • Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising

  • lasersrule 20/02/2009

    I just hope it doesn't force me to drive tanks and fly helicopters with quite the same pace-breaking ruthlessness as the original. I hated those missions with such a passion. Why force me to do that shit when running about in the woods is infinitely more fun? Reply 0
  • F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin

  • lasersrule 10/02/2009

    Fuck all this shit, Monolith. I remember when you used to make interesting FPSes instead of recycled horror-junk bullshit.

    Where *THE FUCK* is NOLF3 and Tron 3.0?

    Reply 0
  • PSP action replays at Arsenal FC in 2010

  • lasersrule 22/01/2009

    "You have joined #Ultras!"

    Reply 0
  • Minter: "Still a taste for old-style games"

  • lasersrule 16/12/2008

    He's a cranky old mad hippie who makes truly sickening colour schemes, but I love him and never want him to change. Reply 0
  • First Old Republic footage shown

  • lasersrule 15/12/2008

    Should I be ashamed that all I want to be is a mid-level crim, doing smuggling and bounty kills with absolutely no fucking jedi business and no fucking lightsabres? Reply 0
  • KORG DS-10 Synthesiser

  • lasersrule 14/10/2008

    I got my copy through GAME's online shop. Claims to have shipped and everything. Shame it's not on any shelves, though. Reply 0
  • LittleBigPlanet

  • lasersrule 13/10/2008

    All this tread tells me is that we need to bring back national service and have a bloody good old-fashioned war. Reply 0
  • Ninety-Nine Nights 2 heading to 360

  • lasersrule 09/10/2008

    The first one was flawed, but had incredible potential. Certainly, its crowd mashup system was loads better than Musou's, not to mention the much sweeter graphics engine.And yeah, I loved it.

    Reply 0
  • Q Entertainment's Tetsuya Mizuguchi

  • lasersrule 12/06/2008

    I'm massively upset he didn't mention how NNN could have been even more awesome than it already is with another 6 months' work, or about doing a sequel. I'm crying right now, actually. Reply 0
  • Warriors Orochi 2 to get sequel

  • lasersrule 22/05/2008

    This is awesome news. Warriors Orochi is the greatest crowd melee grinder there is and like Dr Pepper, it's criminally misunderstood. Reply 0
  • VF5 360 gets online multiplayer

  • lasersrule 09/07/2007

    Will Sega and MS give me a steady 16.6ms ping as well?

    But hey, at least we'll have the ESSENTIAL analogue control and rumble. Just like the arcade!
    Reply 0
  • Earth Defence Force 2017

  • lasersrule 10/04/2007

    Anyone who wouldn't give this a nine has no soul and is playing games for the wrong reason. Reply 0
  • Explosive Defcon videos

  • lasersrule 01/08/2006

    Looks absolutely brilliant. Shame there's no massive lasers in it, though. Reply 0
  • Nintendo America defends 'Wii'

  • lasersrule 28/04/2006

    All the apologists are absolute idiots.

    Sorry, but Wii is the very worst kind of corporate pretentiousness that really pisses off the mass-market that Nintendo are so desperate to exploit.

    Brand idiocy of the highest order. Yeah, everyone's talking about the Wii, but mostly because of the ludicrous name you've given it.

    Reply 0
  • Tokobot

  • lasersrule 11/04/2006

    Je suis Nono, le petit Robo, ami de Ulysse! Reply 0
  • Sony announces B-Boy

  • lasersrule 29/03/2006

    Sony showed off a really early promo for this at the B-boy champs last November. It certainly looks like the real deal, showing in-engine demos of the mocapping - which looked excellent.

    How the game actually works is another matter. A straight DDR-style game would be a massive tradgedy. What it really needs is a fighting game control system (like Tekken, with limb assignment, strings for long moves and such). Then it could be fucking ace.
    Reply 0
  • Sony ends PSone production

  • lasersrule 27/03/2006

    Chav gaming goes right back to the Master System, or at least it did at our school.

    The PS1 was an amazing bit of kit when it came out. Considering all we had up until that point was the software rendering hell of the 16-bits, which either offered super-low scene complexity or horrific frame rates - even for the ludicrously expensive superFX games - the PS1 was like some kind of rendering powerhouse.

    PS1 - The console of the immaculate lens flare.
    Reply 0
  • Games aren't art, says Kojima

  • lasersrule 24/01/2006

    Congratulations to Hideo for the worst definition of Art ever. Reply 0
  • BloodRayne film officially sucks

  • lasersrule 10/01/2006

    Did anyone see the .NFO for the warez release of Bloodrayne?


    So with that enjoy this movie from hollywoods
    numero uno hack director uwe boll. We're proud to
    pirate this peice of shit to save you people from
    being ripped out of ur hard earned money. Note to
    hollywood cuz we know u track these. Seriously stop
    financing crap like this. The money you save will
    enable bob the carpenter and the teamsters to stay
    in work for at least another year. Piracy doesnt hurt you
    SHIT fucking waste of money movies like this do.

    Even the warez monkeys have had enough!
    Reply 0
  • Film critic slags off games

  • lasersrule 01/12/2005

    All Art is essentially and fundamentally a communication from a designer to a willing observer via a medium.

    This is why these days, anything can be Art... any cultural artifact, even any mark that a consciousness makes on the world.

    The art of videogames is in how interactive elements communicate a message from the designer to the observer. They may be dressed in a variety of formal influences, but to guage the worthiness of games on the quality of their construction is totally missing the point.

    The argument shouldn't be about games qualifying as Art, as by any satisfactory definition of the term in the 21st century, they automatically are. The issue is if they are good or bad Art.

    Anyone saying that games can never be Art on a par with traditionally accepted forms is just being a grumpy fucker.
    Reply 0
  • THQ delays Xbox 360 titles

  • lasersrule 28/10/2005

    S.T.A.L.K.E.R. : Shadow of over-ambition.

    It's funny that we're all commenting on that rather than the 360 delays.
    Reply 0
  • Midway Arcade Treasures 3

  • lasersrule 19/10/2005

    There used to be a Race Drivin' at Elvedon Forest Centerparks.

    It was rubbish. Hideous framerate, insane controls. We always went for the stunt track because you could see amazingly cool ramps in the distance, but could never get to them because you had to drive up a hill and negotiate a pretend clifftop road before you got to the cool stuff.

    Invariably, trying to accelerate up the hill with the rubbish controls and brilliantly wrong game physics meant the car launched itself into the air once it reached the top, often crashing into the cliff bit. I remember that once, my mate managed to launch the car far enough to hit one of the distant ramps. That was a major victory for us.

    The original Hard Drivin' seemed much smoother, but I only played that once on a ferry to France and again, it was rubbish (apart from the crash replays). We used to do some amazing stunts on the megadrive version, though.
    Reply 0
  • Game Boy Micro

  • lasersrule 27/09/2005

    Those sales figures for the Micro massively depress me.

    Reply 0
  • The State of Independence #2

  • lasersrule 16/08/2005

    Warning Forever is great, but rRootage is sublime on an entirely different level. It's a masterpiece. Reply 0
  • S.T.A.L.K.E.R in April 06 or later

  • lasersrule 04/08/2005

    Are there any actual single-player gameplay vids yet?

    I've seen a couple of okay-looking clips and some in-engine cinematics, but they don't really show anything of the gameplay's quality... What's worse, the multiplayer footage I've seen made it look a little bit rubbish.

    Don't forget, the last game these fellas worked on was Codename Outbreak. That hardly set the PC world alight...
    Reply 0