knocker Comments

Page 1 of 9

  • Nintendo gives Switch Joy-Con wireless connectivity advice, warns of nearby fish tanks

  • knocker 06/03/2017

    @Dan234 Thanks for the tip. I have tried this - mainly with the aim of forcing a reboot/refresh. This issue always occurs after a couple of hours play. Reply 0
  • knocker 04/03/2017

    Mines becoming unusable. 10 feet away. No active wireless devices and no fishtank.

    Given most people appear to be OK, I'm going to get this swapped out and cross my fingers
    Reply +8
  • Hearthstone: The Curse of Naxxramas review

  • knocker 02/09/2014

    The problem I found is that the puzzles are pretty one dimensional.

    The final boss encounters are interesting enough to keep you occupied, but their quirky strengths are also their weaknesses. Construct a deck to deal with them - and they are straightforward to beat.

    The characters leading up to the final boss are too easy even for a low ranking player like me.

    Ultimately you're paying a few quid for some interesting cards. they are fun to use, but you're left with the feeling you bought them, not earned them.
    Reply +4
  • Video: Is the world ready for virtual reality?

  • knocker 29/08/2014


    It started off badly but surprisingly got worse. Much worse.

    What were you thinking ?
    Reply +11
  • The worst games I've ever played, by Ellie Gibson

  • knocker 28/08/2014

    All the very best - on the off chance you've actually read this far.

    Reply 0
  • Capcom files lawsuit against Koei Tecmo for patent infringement

  • knocker 26/08/2014

    Way back In the last century this concept was called an 'expansion pack'. Reply +33
  • Mario Kart 8 getting Mercedes car DLC

  • knocker 29/05/2014

    Having a your car outpaced by a monkey driving a go-kart isn't the best advert for a luxury vehicle

    In this context, the boring shiny metal thing looks surreal. Funny
    Reply +4
  • X-rayed games consoles are art, look

  • knocker 15/04/2014

    xray art with a thermal image overlay might be interesting. Or at least more colourful. Reply +2
  • Video: Let's Replay Robotron: 2084

  • knocker 15/04/2014

    Can't separate Defender or Robotron in any meaningful way.

    Watching a good player of either was an entertainment.

    All the places to play games in those days; seaside arcades, taxi offices had an undercurrent of violence - just to add to the excitement.
    Reply 0
  • Video: Let's Replay Super Mario Sunshine

  • knocker 08/04/2014

    I always have a soft spot for this game.

    I struggled with the camera, controls - then one day when I was stuck on a jump for what seemed ages - my autistic son took the controller off me and nailed it. And went on to complete the level, in a completely different way to the way I was trying.

    Was the first time he'd shown he was even capable of problem solving.
    Reply +4
  • What happens when free-to-play games aren't free?

  • knocker 23/11/2013

    Publishers hope you'll either you'll get bored of the game and go buy another, or you opt in to this subscription model.

    What they want to move away from is the rather quaint idea that you'll play the same game for months in an attempt to get better at it or complete it. There are exceptions, but they become notable just because of they buck this trend

    They are meeting a demand of people who don't want games to be hard or challenging. I don't have anything like enough time to play games like I used to - but even then I hate the idea of cash shortcuts and being forced to is even worse
    Reply +13
  • Superfrog HD review

  • knocker 01/08/2013

    Happier, simpler times. When grown adults were happy playing games with cartoon frogs, or toddlers firing rainbows, or a piece of putty - all without some 13 year old hurling insults at you for playing kids games. Reply +2
  • The PR man who spams games journalists about classical music

  • knocker 13/02/2013

    @goldbug "Why bother with definitions at all?"

    Why indeed ? In the context of a discussion about classic FM it's pointless. Their definition of Classical is "Any music we can cram in to sell pensions, car insurance and stairlifts".

    Which brings me back to my first point, the aims of this campaign - to get acceptance from a station that embraces the lowest common denominator - is a woefully low ambition.
    Reply +1
  • knocker 13/02/2013

    @goldbug That's a reasonable criteria. But lets video game composers and film composers join in. Maurice Jarre's music for Lawrence of Arabia will always be 'his' rather than a subset of David Lean's work.

    You might just have to accept that you aren't in the demographic for Classic FM!

    Now if radio 3 start playing the bloody theme from Gladiator - end times aren't far away.
    Reply +2
  • knocker 13/02/2013

    @Goldbug You appear to be very clear as to what classical music isn't; but not so good at defining what it is. You must be aware that any criteria would be too vague to be useful and entirely subjective.

    Even Paul Morley's rather mediocre definition discounts music that, even if important at the time, has fallen into obscurity through the centuries.

    It's all rather meaningless, by all means subjectively criticize music for being of questionable quality (The Gladiator them, seriously) but categorizing means stuff like Einaudi should automatically gains quality because it wasn't written for a film or a game.
    Reply 0
  • knocker 13/02/2013

    I love game music, but getting into the Classic FM chart is a rather limited aspiration. It might get the music a wider audience and ... so what ?

    Would prefer to see games music taken seriously within the gaming media and community before I start fretting that some vote can be skewed in an attempt to gain some spurious idea of "acceptance".
    Reply +3
  • Devs slam Hitman: Absolution promotion that invited you to identify female Facebook friends by their "small tits" and then kill them

  • knocker 04/12/2012

    Don't you just love advertising types who think they're being "edgy".

    "I can't understand why everyone's being so stroppy. This sort of banter goes on all the time in WKD adverts and Inbetweeners. I read about it in Muts magazine so it must be true."
    Reply +6
  • How does the Wii U launch line-up compare to the SNES, N64 and GameCube's?

  • knocker 29/11/2012

    Pretty sure Super Soccer and Super Tennis were snes launch titles. And there were only four available for some time incl SMW Reply 0
  • Halo 4: King of the Hill Fueled by Mountain Dew is an actual app

  • knocker 02/11/2012

    Not so much a demographic you're targeting there; more of a painfully out of date stereotype. Well done marketing gurus. very well done. Reply +1
  • Halo 4 review

  • knocker 01/11/2012

    forget metacritic .. this was a metareview. +1 Reply 0
  • 007 Legends review

  • knocker 19/10/2012

    Not a huge Bond fan myself but .... what a missed opportunity! A chance to blend different as many gaming genres as you like, and even make a try at capturing the feeling of the different decades. monochrome sharp suited 60's, safari jacket garish 70's etc.

    Somany possibilities, such poor imagination
    Reply +8
  • Sony's initial response to Tokyo Jungle was "bad"

  • knocker 26/09/2012

    @cheeky-sod the best games often do look stupid.I wouldn't have it any other way. Reply +12
  • FIFA 13 video: Arsenal's new purple away kit revealed

  • knocker 13/07/2012

    Sorry Arsenal fans. but that is fcuking horrible.

    No wonder the players look so pissed off.
    Reply 0
  • Nintendo: 3DS XL not big enough to fit second circle pad

  • knocker 13/07/2012

    Can you imagine the furore if they had added a second pad ?

    All the complaints about making the 3DS obsolete, forcing users to buy an overpriced add-on for the 3DS etc.

    Some games need dual pads. These games will be a horrible compromise on the 3ds. Or not released at all.

    No great loss to be honest.
    Reply +2
  • Always Online: What Diablo 3's Does Wrong

  • knocker 17/05/2012

    Regarding the game. A choice.

    When starting a new game, give the player a checkbox, online or offline. Online you get access to multiplayer, auctions blah blah. Offline you get access to patches and are allowed to play the game, on your laptop, in your pants, in some shitty hotel in dussedorf.
    Reply +32
  • knocker 17/05/2012

    Here's the lesson. If you want to give the impression you meant to publish two articles at the same time, make sure the second doesn't spend the opening three paragraphs referencing the first.

    The other article I could (at push) pass off as fanboy rantings. And why not, we are all fanboys to some degree.

    This apparently rapidly cobbled together counterpoint, seems like an attempt to reinforce your integrity. Which wasn't in question. Until now.
    Reply 0
  • CCP analyses Eve Online "Burn Jita" event

  • knocker 02/05/2012

    My personal starting point for gaming was pong. It's taken some time to reach skyrim.

    At times, the gap between skyrim and eve seems greater than the gap between skyrim and pong.
    Reply +7
  • Pro-EA LGBT petition hijacked by bots

  • knocker 10/04/2012

    Can't think of a better way better way to sabotage this petition. paranoid perhaps, but I don't expect bigots to play nice Reply +8
  • Tesco claims it's "The Home of Gaming" in new ad

  • knocker 30/03/2012

    @AnotherIdiot The fresh plastic boxes at my local tesco contain blurry black and white photocopies of the inserts. You can barely make out the cover art, never mind read the back. Reply +1
  • knocker 30/03/2012

    Crap selection, crap stock levels, crap display, adequate service. Reply +9
  • The Problem with Android

  • knocker 28/03/2012

    @DB2k Yes, and when you combine this with screen resolutions/processor speeds etc you end up with a huge number of possible combinations. So you have to compromise.

    I could possibly create a matrix for iOS devices off the top of my head. And wouldn't need to spend time looking for market data or reading dull charts like this
    Reply +3
  • knocker 28/03/2012

    I work on all the popular devices day to day. Fragmentation on android is a pain from a QA perspective. Fortunately I work for large companies where additional overhead for that platform is not a big deal. I can imagine for smaller companies this could be enough to put them off. Reply +2
  • Legend of Grimrock PC release date announced

  • knocker 27/03/2012

    I read it as 'legend of progrock' even more disappointed.

    Think I replayed the opening levels of dungeon master a hundred times, failing at the first pressure plate puzzle 99 of those times. Not realising they were pressure plates.
    Reply -1
  • Sainsbury's increases new game stock, launches sale

  • knocker 27/03/2012

    @darkmorgado Good point. I live in a town too small to have even one dedicated game shop (there is a critical mass thing here, once your town is big enough you have three game/gamestation branches). You would think the local retailers would make an effort to mop up business. They don't.

    Even skyrim a month after release wasn't available at currys, tesco or Argos .... Not sure it was ever at Argos. I buy most of my games online, but still would like to have the opportunity of an impulse buy.
    Reply +1
  • Konami makes Frogger: Hyper Arcade Edition official

  • knocker 20/03/2012

    I can't see how frogger can be relevant to modern gaming without ... Not being frogger.

    @bloke1182 my daughter has a frog phobia. Which is a pain when we have hundreds of them in the pond by my house. Given the way they are ' at it' at the moment it will be froggogeddon.
    Reply +1
  • Fable: The Journey Preview: Molyneux's Final Folly

  • knocker 20/03/2012

    @geeza2020 I personally would score fable 2 a 10. Based purely in the fun and time I got out of it. But I do tend to avoid and ignore salesmen so miss the hype.

    Judging fable 3 on the fun/time formula it scored -5.
    Reply +2
  • Capcom defends, explains Street Fighter x Tekken on disc DLC

  • knocker 06/03/2012

    This should be like a Monty Python sketch.

    You think that's bad, when I were a lad we paid Ł65 for a copy and it ran slow was letterboxed. And we were grateful.
    Reply +2
  • Videoed London riots PSP robbers found guilty

  • knocker 02/03/2012

    I like reading comments below the line. They can entertain, inform, inspire or just make you think.

    I can't see one comment in this entire thread that does one of those things. Fuck you eurogamer, fuck you very much.
    Reply -6
  • knocker 02/03/2012

    I think these guys are guilty of robbery, either through an implied threat of violence or benefitting from the violence already carried out. It was a cowardly act and the full weight of the law should come down on their heads.

    As I've not fantasised about male rape, nor suggested these are poor misunderstood kittens I'll assume I've annoyed everybody. Join us next week when rob p picks at another scab.
    Reply 0
  • What would happen if GAME died?

  • knocker 28/02/2012

    As for losing access to anything but big name games ? Bollocks. Game are the tesco of the gaming world.

    Before game I could pop into my local indie shop and buy all manner of insanely expensive Japanese imports. If you were richer than bono you could buy import consoles. It would certainly be the first place you could see them.

    Then game opened next door.
    Reply +11
  • knocker 28/02/2012

    @pinchofsalt Who knows, we might even see a slight resurgence in independent stores. game was rarely empty and profit margins on 2nd hand games fairly decent.

    Online shopping/downloading games make more sense, but I still like to indulge in impulse buys from time to time.

    Just because game did a bad job of it doesn't mean nobody could do a better one.
    Reply +5
  • London riots PSP student mugger faces "long prison sentence"

  • knocker 21/02/2012

    I am glad people like him are off the streets. The idea of bumping into his sort in the street makes me feel cold.

    I'm not altogether comfortable about bumping into the sort of person that thinks rape or medieval punishments are appropriate either. But as the latter only seems to occur under the cover of anonymity I guess I'd never know.

    (is it necessary to add a disclaimer stating that because I find these fantasies creepy it doesn't mean I like criminals ?)
    Reply +2
  • Bethesda knew Skyrim could run into "a bad memory situation" on PS3

  • knocker 16/02/2012

    @djkav if that were true then a software patch would have made no difference. Reply +1
  • knocker 16/02/2012

    Edge cases are a bitch.

    Tester : hey guys, can you build me a save game with seven dragons on the other side of the world and a siege about to happen with 20 quests running ?
    Dev lead: when would that ever happen ?
    Tester: doesn't matter whether it would happen, it can happen
    Dev lead: ok
    Tester: oh, that really f'ks up on the ps3 (a more formal bug report may be appropriate)

    Not saying this stuff is that easy, but it is achievable. Stating you've done "more testing" is meaningless. If you have people doing exploratory gameplay testing you might end up testing the opening scenes thousands of times but not all the permutations.

    Permutations are a bitch too.

    (disclaimer : I've never worked on anything as complex as skyrim, nor with such minimal impact if things go wrong. But the rules don't change cos of that)
    Reply +4
  • Dear Esther Review

  • knocker 14/02/2012

    I will surely buy this. I'm a sucker for anything that ... Pushes the boundaries of gaming (pretentious, moi?) . I also want to buy the rights to put this on an iPad.

    I like the idea of meandering as a genre. I seriously would have paid money (not much mind) to play demon souls with no baddies. Or an RPG where you just meander and hang out. I think I just described animal crossing.
    Reply +2
  • Why Devs Owe You Nothing

  • knocker 11/02/2012

    Any business that doesn't treat it's customers with courtesy is going to struggle, it would be good if customers or fans felt a similar obligation to treat "devs" the same, but unlike the companies they aren't going be affected financially by behaving like arses.

    "devs" in quotes as its not really the sympathetic coder figure the author wants to portray as the victim that people get pissed off with, but usually the management.

    Interesting article beneath the pompous tone.

    Incidentally I worked on a crossword site heavily used by a middle aged upper middle class audience. We received threats of violence when we made changes. Not nice, but kind of good to know people care that much. And if you can't take grief from the public there are plenty better paying jobs working on banking systems etc
    Reply +21
  • Microsoft adds Achievements to Visual Studio software

  • knocker 19/01/2012


    I really don't want the world to know I am significantly better at excel than dark souls.

    Kipling ! : 6 nested if statements
    Franky says ! : the Capra demon hates you
    Reply +1
  • Should video games respect international war crimes law?

  • knocker 03/12/2011

    @Shikasama actually its the sort of reaction I'd expect from daily mail readers. Reply +1
  • knocker 03/12/2011

    The headline a question. The article outlining a discussion.

    "The committee is yet to announce its findings,"

    Yet the reaction below the line astonishing. I am starting to wonder if a fair few of the 29k who phoned in to complain about clarkson weren't eurogamer readers.

    Its a discussion ! And yet some of you want to stifle that under the guise of free speech ?
    Reply +3
  • New Skyrim patch, PC dev tools incoming

  • knocker 02/12/2011

    "If we get too aggressive trying to fix a minor issue, we run a risk of breaking something larger in a game like this."

    Yes. It's called regression testing. Check your emails and project plans. If you can't find it then your QA guy should be sacked, if you can - especially with red exclamation marks next to it, then you should be sacked.
    Reply 0