afghan_jones Comments

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  • Face-Off: Destiny

  • afghan_jones 15/09/2014

    Would be good to compare next gen & last gen versions too, just to give a 'is it worth upgrading for this game' perspective. How different is the expereince on the old platforms? Reply 0
  • Why online shooting peaked with Bungie's decade-old Halo 2

  • afghan_jones 09/06/2014

    Readign this reminded me how much we have lost since the days of Halo 2 & Halo 3. The CODification has gone too far. Remember when map control was an actual thing? The good old days. Reply +16
  • Win a Ł400 Sony Entertainment Network voucher

  • afghan_jones 21/02/2014

    GTA IV The Lost and the Damned.

    Owning your own bike made me want to actually ride around, rather than getting a cab all the time. So I actually got to get a look at the city and really soak it all up.

    It was also the only GTA game without a ridiculous disconnect between the main character and the missions. I was a badass biker in a motorcycle club, and all the missions were actually about being a badass biker. No collecting OG Loc's Rhyme book for Johnny Klebitz. Also, his ill-fated GTA V cameo reminded me how much I loved TLAD.

    All the missions in GTA V where Trevor was ragging on TLAD pained me greatly.
    Reply 0
  • Redbox Instant coming to Xbox 360

  • afghan_jones 06/02/2013

    Theo ne thing I really want from the new Xbox is for them to have one single 'TV' app that pulls in all the content from SKY player, Netflix, iPlayer etc into one app I can browse and pick from. That would be perfect. At the moment its a fucking ball ache deciding what to watch when it involves loading up a bunch of different apps, all of which have their own horrible interface issues and crappy load times. Reply +4
  • Dead Space 3 includes micro-transactions for buying better weapons

  • afghan_jones 22/01/2013

    Hate this stuff. Quite aside form the sour taste of being charged extra cash in a full price game, it just breaks the gameplay.

    How can a level possibly be properly balanced for people with the basic vanilla weapons and people who have forked out for the extra ones? It just doesnt work.

    Gameplay should never be dictated by the revenue model.
    Reply +5
  • What would happen if GAME died?

  • afghan_jones 28/02/2012

    I've been saying this shit for ages whenever someone gets shirty over the preowned market. Reply +1
  • Strange Tales From The Studio

  • afghan_jones 16/02/2012

    Great article. Love all this sort of stuff. Reply +2
  • Mass Effect 3 beta leak reveals campaign game modes

  • afghan_jones 07/11/2011

    Sounds horrible. Nothing like watering down a game to pander to as broad a mass market as possible. Reply +8
  • 343 defends Halo's Kinect features

  • afghan_jones 24/10/2011

    The analyse feature being kinect only is kind of shitty.

    As at that point it ceases to be a case old using kinect to access the same content in a different way. As it's kinect exclusive.
    Reply +2
  • Gamers report Batman DLC corruption

  • afghan_jones 21/10/2011

    Yet another reason why all this DLC online pass shit can go climb a wall of dicks. Reply +5
  • 1.5 million Battlefield 3 pre-orders

  • afghan_jones 22/09/2011

    Meanwhile, Gears 3 just delivered a multiplayer experience far superior to anything else on the market. And they did it without all the childish smacktalk. Reply +2
  • Brink nominated for Writers' Guild Award

  • afghan_jones 19/09/2011

    Brink didn't have a story.

    And Enslaved wasn't much better frankly.
    Reply -11
  • Gears of War 3

  • afghan_jones 15/09/2011

    Seemed to skip over the multiplayer element.

    The beta was easily the best thing I've played all year.

    Can't wait.
    Reply 0
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops Rezurrection

  • afghan_jones 31/08/2011

    Cannot stand Zombie mode. Utterly confusing, dull and just no sense of fun.

    Frankly I would have preferred them to dump into a separate download title and let COD have new maps just for the MP instead.
    Reply 0
  • Writer Ed Stern dissects Brink

  • afghan_jones 26/07/2011

    I didn't buy it at launch. Got it a few weeks ago and it's great.

    And I've had very few laggy games. So there.
    Reply 0
  • Mobile Games Roundup

  • afghan_jones 18/07/2011

    Will mobile gaming ever be anything more than throwaway trash?

    I hope so, but at the minute there is very little out there that is anything other than something to pass the time while doing a poo.
    Reply -2
  • Sony makes PSN Pass official

  • afghan_jones 07/07/2011

    This online pass stuff is going to fuck this industry hard.

    High street retailers are basically only functional right now due to second hand sales.

    Mess that market up and specialist game stores will have to close. Eventually the only physical stores selling games will ne supermarkets. And they will only stock casual games plus the top tier guaranteed sellers. Quirkier, smaller games will sell even worse than at present as they will have zero high street presence, and turn just stop getting made altogether with the industry revolving around cheap casual dross and the handful of sure fire hits like COD.

    Goodbye originality and new IP.
    Reply +4
  • EA attacks Call of Duty: Elite strategy

  • afghan_jones 16/06/2011

    Shut the fuck up EA and just let the games speak for themselves. At this point you are coming off as a right bunch of cunts and somehow making Activision look genuinely classy.

    I want to like BF3 but frankly you are just putting me off with this crap.
    Reply +4
  • Live Microsoft E3 Xbox conference

  • afghan_jones 06/06/2011

    Shut up about this kinect guff. I want more shooting baddies in the face games. Reply 0
  • PSN Welcome Back content now available

  • afghan_jones 05/06/2011

    I got 2% into the latest update and it's fucked my psp. It now won't turn on. Shite. Reply -3
  • Hearts and Minds

  • afghan_jones 22/04/2011

    Weird article. I always enjoy Tom's descents into unashamed WWE fanboyism but it's really starting to feel like he needs to just put this stuff in a separate blog. Reply +4
  • GAME runs out of Gears 3 beta codes

  • afghan_jones 21/04/2011

    I just got the email. Bunch of bellends. Pretty crap given they are enjoying the extra marketing of a big banner on Xbox live chatting about Game beta codes.

    Ah well, more time for section 8.
    Reply 0
  • Slapped Down

  • afghan_jones 26/03/2011

    This is just another in a long list of things that make me wonder why anyone wants to play this game other than as a curious relic. Just seems embarassingly shit. Maybe people who have a 'WKD side' might enjoy it I suppose.

    It's not so much offensive as it is cringeworthy and pathetic. It certainly isn't funny in the slightest and it's not entirely clear what it is supposed to be a parody of exactly.
    Reply +1
  • Halo: Reach Defiant Map Pack date

  • afghan_jones 14/02/2011

    Sexy Reply +1
  • Duke Nukem Forever

  • afghan_jones 09/02/2011

    You people are mental. Duke was always a bit cringeworthy and let's face it, a bit shit.

    This reads like it's going to be a real turd. I get the curiosity factor but even so, it hardly seems worth dropping actual cash money on this peculiarity. Or is it the carnival freakshow mentality? Step right up folks, pay a dollar to see the game that time forgot!
    Reply -19
  • Enslaved sales fail to break 500,000

  • afghan_jones 03/02/2011

    Nice as the acting bits were, the truth is it was actually quite a boring game to play. For all the whining in this thread about COD and other sequels outselling Enslaved, they are just more fun to play. The five percent of enslaved spent watching cutscenes was a glorious step forward for videogame storytelling but the 95% spent playing the game was far more generic and dull than any of the long standing IPs it was up against. Reply +1
  • Games of 2010: Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

  • afghan_jones 25/12/2010

    its an ok story, with strong acting in the cutscenes; but unfortunately its wrapped around a very very mediocre platform/brawler.

    Frankly, as a game it is quite shit and you would be better just watching the cutscenes on you tube, as the actual game parts are average at best.
    Reply -5
  • Back to the Future Episode 1: It's About Time

  • afghan_jones 24/12/2010

    The Libyans! They found me! Run for it Marty! Reply +10
  • Last call for Marvel Ultimate Alliance DLC

  • afghan_jones 01/12/2010

    Could at least make it free or discount it if it is popping off for good. Can probably buy the full game for about 8 quid these days. Reply +4
  • Acti: Online part of the COD "package"

  • afghan_jones 24/11/2010

    They will never charge for COD.

    They dont have to.

    They just roped bungie into a 10 year deal to make what will almost certainly be a subscription based FPS MMO hybrid.

    Thats their big subscription MP game.
    Reply +3
  • Microsoft defends Live swastika bans

  • afghan_jones 22/11/2010

    Anyone who thinks someone on CODBLOPS is using the swastica to refer to their Hindu/Buddhist beliefs is living in a dream world. Its probably not even being used by actual nazi sympathisers just stupid twat kids trying to be as offensive as they can.


    I would totally agree with you pretty much wholeheartedly if we were talking about the use and or banning of the swastica in almost any other media. But this is in the very specific context of individuals choosing it to represent them in a video game purely to try and offend others. So I agree with these steps taken, albeit while considering the rather dubious inclusion of Nazi zombies & Dead Ops modes in the same game.
    Reply +2
  • afghan_jones 22/11/2010

    Not seen any swastikas so far, but have seen the following symbols in CODBLOPS:

    A spunking cock
    A hand on a spunking cock
    A woman sucking a spunking cock
    A man bumming a gorilla
    Two horses duelling with their massive cocks
    A man shooting another man in the cock
    A spunking cock with a smiley face on the bellend
    A menagerie of animals getting bummed all at once
    A close up of a mans anus doing a shit. (I knew it was a mans anus as they had thoughtfully included some dangly balls)

    Basically it seems all CODBLOPS players are obsessed with jizzing cocks and 'animal husbandry'.

    Certainly doesnt seem like a bunch of free speech activists exercising their first amandment right.
    Reply +88
  • Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

  • afghan_jones 16/11/2010

    fuckin ell. Didnt see that coming. Still feels a bit soon after the last one for me to be honest, and hot on the heels of Halo and COD means this will have to wait. Something lovely to look forward to though in the new year. Reply 0
  • Enslaved fails to meet sales targets

  • afghan_jones 08/11/2010

    Enslaved is ok but is really just an interactive movie. The platforming is pointless, just hold down forward and hammer A. Basically ass creed but without the multiple routes and with no danger of missing a jump.

    Plus the fighting is a bit guff.

    Cutscenes and acting are ace though to be fair.
    Reply +4
  • Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare Pack

  • afghan_jones 28/10/2010

    Played the first half hour. Its fun stuff but my god the RDR controls are really really shite for this type of thing. Be warned. Reply +2
  • Xbox user hits 500,000 Gamerscore

  • afghan_jones 16/10/2010

    He should be ashamed rather than proud. I see this 'achievement' as similar to announcing you have had a wank to every single video on redtube.

    Yes its taken a lot of time and perseverance but its hardly something to be commended. Scorn and/or derision are the only appropriate responses.
    Reply +4
  • afghan_jones 16/10/2010

    Bit silly really. What a plonker. My GS is about 37K and even at that level I often feel like im wasting valuable hours of my life on it. But to get that amount of GS must involve so many shitty games and so many joyless hours. the guy is a fucking idiot actually and the more I think about it the more pathetic this is. Sort yourself out you silly cunt. Reply -14
  • Halo: Reach

  • afghan_jones 12/09/2010

    Weird review, swings between highly critical and gushing praise.

    As a big fan of Halo, the remember reach stuff does have a nice resonance and poignancy to it, but I guess maybe this doesnt fly so well with casuals?

    Also, just from having played the beta, the review iis flat out wrong when it comes to weapon balance. It is hugely improved, no longer relying on the BR as a jack of all trades. And to call the H3 carbine 'beloved' (when it was largely a shit BR sub) and criticise the frankly far superior neddle rifle is madness. To be fair, it is a good review as I can tell exactly where its coming from in terms of Halo preconceptions, and knowing my own, can easily add anoth point or 3 to the score.

    (and not being funny, but the community and mp online package they have put together is genuinely leaps and bounds ahead of any other game ever released. Seems churlish not to credit for this much)
    Reply +43
  • 3rd Birthday not intentionally "erotic"

  • afghan_jones 06/09/2010

    is this the most effed up headline EG have run? I think so. Reply +1
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops Multiplayer

  • afghan_jones 02/09/2010

    sounds awesome. This plus Reach = wontneedanyothergamesforfuckingages. Reply -2
  • Dead Rising 2: Case Zero

  • afghan_jones 01/09/2010

    EG are generally excellent writers and journalists but quite bad at games. In fact, im fairly sure most of the EG writers dont actually like games at all.

    Consequently the site is brilliantly written, at a standard far beyond most games sites, but can be let down by missing or confusing key facts, coupled with the writers' general spackiness at playing games.

    Once you realise that though, its fucking lush.
    Reply +7
  • THQ: We won't punish used game buyers

  • afghan_jones 24/08/2010

    Surely the real answer is move towards better DD distribution models. Ones that are actually cheaper than physical retail copies, or DD rental services similar to their movie rentals via netflicks. Reply 0
  • RDR Legends & Killers DLC out now

  • afghan_jones 11/08/2010

    total rip off. So paying money for 'new' maps that are just straight from campaign plus some character skins? Rockstar must be having a laugh. Reply 0
  • Story-driven BioShock 2 DLC announced

  • afghan_jones 05/08/2010

    I fucking hate pretty much all DLC. Reply +1
  • Bungie not bothered by Activision's rep

  • afghan_jones 30/07/2010

    Bet that Bungie's 10 year new IP is the MMO subscription based web 2.0 shooter that Activision have been lusting after for so long. Reply +4
  • Halo: Reach

  • afghan_jones 30/07/2010

    This will be the game of games. The king of shooters. All shall gaze upon Reach and drop to their knees in rapture.

    And anyone who comes out with the usual mindless 'bunnybouncingpowerrangerstoocolourfulboredofitafterthefirstoneitsfullofamericankidslol' deserves a big punch in their stupid ignorant face.

    You will never need another game after this one.
    Reply -2
  • Rockstar definitely researching Hollywood

  • afghan_jones 26/07/2010

    Balls. They did LA already. Hollywood as a location would be shite compared to Liberty City.

    Would like to see international, with an american main character to keep the americana satire going.
    Reply 0
  • "You'll never have to pay to play COD"

  • afghan_jones 20/07/2010

    Whats the betting that Acti's 10 year contract with Bungie for a new IP will be a subs based FPS MMO lite with social networking and pay to play features.... Reply +1
  • 1-in-10 can't see 3D properly - report

  • afghan_jones 12/07/2010

    Im really not up for 3D.

    I can just about stomach a 2 hr film but even then my eyes feel very strained and overworked.

    The thought of a whole evening of 3DTV or 3D gaming makes me feel deeply unwell.

    I imagine no studies have been done yet but I would be surprised if prolonged repeated viewings of 3D images didnt have the potential to seriously fuck your eyes up.
    Reply +4
  • Red Dead DLC announced

  • afghan_jones 08/07/2010

    All sounds great, except for two things.

    1. That stuff isnt worth an additional 20 plus quid on top of the cost of the game by any means

    2. Im sick to death of DLC as a shitty mean to elongate games. Ive played the game, loved it and that should be the end of things. Drips of content over a number of months does nothing for me.
    Reply +3