The_shlaaaag_returns Comments

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  • So, what do you actually do in No Man's Sky?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/01/2015

    @KrazyFace Do bear in mind that planetary exploration is coming to Elite Dangerous in a future update. I'm also surprised that Sony aren't using NMS as a means of promoting VR to their consumers. ED through a Rift and with good headphones is the best use of the technology so far. It has to be experienced to be believed. There is no greater thrill in gaming than coming out of hyperspace and being greeted by an enormous star with the engine down revving to a halt. It's mindblowingly spectacular. That Sony aren't pushing Morpheus support is to miss a very obvious trick. Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/01/2015

    @Hxy3000 I never said ED was better. My point was that you can't say your new space-sim is massive and call it a "universe" when you could traverse it in just over a week. And if you'd actually played Elite Dangerous you'd know that it consists of more than just empty space. It also helps lend credibility to the idea that you're traversing a beautiful, borderline photorealistic 1:1 representation of the Milky Way.

    Pardon me for not boarding the hype train for No Man's Sky. It looks promising but the way Hello Games and Sony are going about promoting the game it's hard not to notice the whiff of Destiny about it. I very much hope I'm wrong as NMS is coming to PC, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's going to be a huge letdown for many people.
    Reply +2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 22/01/2015

    @KrazyFace 200 hours to traverse a universe isn't very impressive. To put that in perspective, to merely travel between one star system in Elite Dangerous and another (i.e. the nearest system on the star map), with no hyperdrive engaged, you'd die before you ever got there. It's a 1:1 scale recreation of the Milky Way and as such feels impossibly big.

    Having read this article, my excitement levels for the game have dropped a fair bit. Also, not wanting to demo a game live in case it generates a boring planet hardly helps sell the game.
    Reply 0
  • Alien: Isolation passes 1m sales mark after three months

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/01/2015

    @christotten It is amazing through VR. As in, pant-shittingly wonderful. Bring on CV1 and - fingers crossed - a patch that will make this game support it natively. It's ace with a Rift. Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/01/2015

    That tedious mind rot like Destiny and Call of Duty continue to sell in huge numbers and this takes three months to cross the one million mark is a fucking travesty. This was the best game I played last year. As @Collymilad said, this should have sold ten times what it has. Reply +9
  • H1Z1 unplanned downtime stretches on

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/01/2015

    Whoopsie DayZ.
    Fucking bravo!
    Reply +32
  • Retro first-person shooter Strafe® parties like its 1996

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/01/2015

    A fantastic trailer but not the best ever. I have backed the game though. It looks fantastic.

    This is the best game trailer ever.

    Reply -1
  • GOG Star Wars splurge includes X-Wing Alliance

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 20/01/2015

    Oh... yeeeaaaahhh... Reply +6
  • Dying Light physical release suffers delay in Europe, elsewhere

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 19/01/2015

    Some people here have clearly never heard of Hanlon's Razor. Reply 0
  • Yasuhisa Kawamura and the Resident Evil that never was

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/01/2015

    An interesting piece, thanks Damien. I've always thought that old footage of Resident Evil 4 looked ok but nothing special, and you can kind of understand the concerns that senior execs had about it at the time. It just wouldn't have gone anywhere. The version of Resi 4 that ended up being released is still one of the best games ever made. The level design, the controls, the set-pieces, the brilliantly shit dialogue - "Writhe in my cage of torment my friend" - the soundtrack, the boss fights, everything just fell in to place perfectly. It's a masterpiece and one of the most "gamey" games ever. Some things are just meant to be. Reply +16
  • Hatred gets the dreaded AO rating in the US

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/01/2015

    @Tsumoro Hear hear. +1 Reply +7
  • DayZ without Dean Hall: What now?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/01/2015


    I wonder too if DayZ will have suffered from letting people play while it was in development
    I would argue no, it hasn't. What it has suffered from is its phenomenal success as an Early Access title. It has become the poster child for the anti-Early Access brigade for the sole reason that it was hugely successful before it was finished. That isn't Bohemia's or Hall's fault. They simply made the most free and open sandbox game since EVE Online.

    It is these same people who conveniently choose to ignore other notable successes, such as The Forest, Assetto Corsa, Rust, Prison Architect, Broforce, Kerbal Space Program and - despite not falling under the Early Access moniker - Minecraft, which is wholly responsible for this method of content delivery taking off in the first place.
    Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 15/01/2015

    @Cordite Spot on. Great post. Have an upvote. Reply +2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 15/01/2015

    @Cordite To answer that question, you need only read Hicks' comment about how they never set a release date, so I guess the answer to "expected by who?" would be "me". I suppose that makes me somewhat guilty of having unrealistic expectations that I projected on to its development, but these were based on the roadmap that Hall laid out at EGX in 2013. I do accept though that software development is liquid and that dates shift due to problems and challenges that arise.

    At the end of the day I'm no programmer so I'm just very grateful that a group of people are putting huge amounts of time and effort in to making something so complex that if I tried to understand how it was all implemented it would turn my brain to porridge, and all for the sole purpose of my having fun. Like I said in my original post, I'm more than happy to play other games in the meantime whilst DayZ is moulded and shaped into what it clearly has the potential to be.
    Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 15/01/2015

    This might be a long post, so I apologise in advance.

    Firstly, this is a fantastic interview. Well done Bert. It's nice to hear from the man now in charge of the whole operation and for him to have his say on what has been a very divisive and at times controversial game for myriad reasons.

    I've been a staunch defender of DayZ and Dean Hall since the standalone launched. Back in January of last year and up until the summer, the game ran pretty well but lacked many features that are present in the current build, vehicles being the most obvious example.

    My issue, however, is that - at least from someone whose only knowledge of game development comes from devblogs, forums, the occasional article I might read on a website such as this one, and changelogs - is that the direction development of DayZ is heading in seems rather aimless, at least to my clueless eyes. Many features are being added but at the expense of my ability to play it, because it now runs so badly I'm convinced I'm playing it through a zoetrope rather than a half-decent PC. It used to run much better, but then this is a game still in alpha after all. It simply isn't finished, and I knew that before I parted with £20 for the privilege of playing it. I can't help but think though that some occasional performance improvements in one of the updates to Stable branch wouldn't go amiss.

    As a result I've decided to just wait until it's, say, midway through beta before playing it again, in the possibly naive hope that the game's performance has been improved and that annoying bugs and design choices (such as zombies being able to hear you from half a mile away, outrun you, then run through a fence and hit you through walls, closed doors or whilst their head pokes out through the floor) that have been known about since the game launched are fixed. Hicks is very active in the DayZ community (though the subreddit is fucking poisionous and the forums aren't much better. How he puts up with it I don't know - Hall certainly couldn't) as are other members of the team and it's lovely to see. These guys are genuinely passionate about the game and for these reasons:

    It provides moments of action, tension, terror and hilarity (sometimes all at the same time) that pretty much no other game comes close to matching. The scope of the game is vast, especially when you consider how many game mechanics there are at work. That one man had the vision and the talent to put this all together and for it to grow into the huge gaming monster it is today is testament to Hall's vision and his team's ability to turn that into a compelling game. There is no other game like DayZ despite all the imitators, and whilst it frustrates me that development is taking far longer than expected, I've spent enough time with it (about 220 hours) to see its potential and to hope that if Bohemia can pull it off, they will have something very special on their hands.
    Reply +9
  • Assetto Corsa review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/01/2015

    I would be curious to know how this game feels when played with an Oculus Rift. Reply +7
  • Grand Theft Auto 5 PC release date delayed until March

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/01/2015

    @Stan101 Yep. It's 27.3Gb so far. The FPS Battle Arena is out in the next couple of months I believe so the whole thing will probably hit 35Gb when it's released. Then there's the other FPS stuff that will inevitably be added to it followed by the Planetside module and then the PU. Add the seperate Squadron 42 campaign to that and I can honestly see it all pushing 100Gb. Reply +6
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/01/2015

    @Stan101 Star Citizen. Reply +3
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/01/2015

    I think what needs to be considered here are the minimum spec requirements. They go a long way toward explaining why the game has taken so long to reach the PC. Rockstar have clearly been working their arse off trying to get the game working on as many setups as possible and for that they deserve praise. If the game needs more polish and bug removal I'm down with that.

    Having said that, I'll probably pick this up in a Steam sale. I'm already balls deep in EVE Online and Elite Dangerous so another sandbox game isn't a matter of urgency.
    Reply +24
  • Third Alien: Isolation DLC pack adds tough one life Salvage mode

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/01/2015

    @jabberwocky If this helps, I bought the Season Pass after I got the game. Last Survivor isn't included with that so you'll have to buy it seperately. Don't know what platform you're on but on Steam it was £2.79. If you're a diehard fan of Alien it's good for a quick blast but it's very short and offers little replay value. It's more of a curio than anything else. Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/01/2015

    @jabberwocky Corporate Lockdown and Trauma are extra maps for the Survivor mode and Salvage mode is also part of that. The other DLC is Crew Expendable and Last Survivor (which you can buy separately if you didn't pre-order the game in which case it was included with the main game). Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/01/2015

    Been having a go on this over the last hour or so (playing as Amanda because she's the only character that starts with a flamethrower - I know, I'm a wuss).

    It's by far the best mode that Creative Assembly have released for the game. It's challenging, the design of the map is quite intricate and saving your game now isn't always an option if you want a high score so there's plenty of risk involved. And as always, its unbelievably fucking tense.

    If for some mad reason you still haven't played this game you should do so as soon as possible. It's quite remarkable.
    Reply +1
  • Did you know Gaming? runs through the Sega Dreamcast

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/01/2015

    @MikkyX My God Samba de Amigo was a fucking brilliant game. I remember saving up for ages to be able to buy that. The bloody thing cost £100! Worth it though. Lots of evenings as a teenager drinking cheap cider with friends and waving our arms about like idiots. Heaps of fun though. Surprised Sega haven't made a PS4 version that uses Move. Reply +3
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/01/2015

    Best. Console. Ever. Reply +11
  • Dean Hall highlights impressive DayZ live action film

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/01/2015

    Zombies hitting the main character through a wall would have been a slightly more authentic touch. Reply +15
  • PS4 PlanetSide 2 closed US beta this month

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/01/2015

    Aww... this game is so good. Not played in almost a year, but every time I see an article for Planetside 2 it always makes me pine for its special brand of team-based mayhem. An astonishing game. Reply +16
  • PlayStation 4 has sold 18.5m worldwide

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 06/01/2015

    @dogmanstaruk Agreed. 5 years tops. That developers have already hit the limits of the CPU is worrying. Reply -9
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 06/01/2015

    @GiarcYekrub That list only contains three exclusives, one of which is one of two remasters of last gen games, and the rest are multiplats, including a glorified demo or games that are also coming out on PC (like No Man's Sky). Also, Until Dawn is destined to be an utter turd, its wretchedness so painfully inevitable it's giving me a headache just thinking about it.

    As much as you might be happy with your PS4, those of us wishing to buy a console who don't yet own one or who might also game on other platforms see absolutely no appeal in the PS4. Its success is to be commended, but it's difficult not to be rather baffled as to how Sony did it with not one stand-out game to show for it. Feel free to downvote this comment, but the lack of games combined with the way Sony have handled the multiple outages of PSN (a subscription-based service let's not forget), as well as the lack of updates to its OS, try and understand that to some of us who are in the market for a console, that's not an attractive prospect.

    EDIT: grammar.
    Reply -13
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 06/01/2015

    @losaa Because you had the audacity to say or at least imply what most of us are thinking - on Eurogamer of all places, a community with a large PS4 readership - that you have no intention of buying a PS4 until UC4 comes out because there's fuck all else worth playing on it. Reply -14
  • The most exciting games of 2015

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 06/01/2015

    Half-Life 3. Reply +12
  • The broadening horizons of Total War

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 05/01/2015

    Would love a spiritual sequel to Alien Isolation, only this time set in the jungle and you're being hunted by a Predator. This would require you to build traps (as in The Forest) and to cover yourself in mud to keep yourself cool so as to avoid detection.

    Given how special Alien Isolation was, one can dream.
    Reply +1
  • Ubisoft polls public on future Far Cry settings

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 05/01/2015

    @the_dudefather And you get to ride around the island on Your Lovely Horse. Reply +41
  • Aliens: Colonial Marines and AvP (2010) have vanished from Steam

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/01/2015

    This is terrible news. Aliens: Colonial Marines is the greatest game ever made. Reply +41
  • Reader's top 50 games of 2014

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/01/2015

    Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/01/2015

    @Number1Laing Yeah, pretty much. The core gameplay has barely changed in over 20 years. I'm not saying it's a bad game because it isn't, but of all Nintendo's core franchises, Mario Kart has changed the least and is still based more on luck than skill. Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/01/2015

    A good list I suppose. A shame that a game that hasn't changed at all since its release in the early 90s has taken the #1 spot. Still, my pick for number one came third so it's not all bad. And thanks for the quotes, EG. :) Reply -4
  • Games of 2014: This War of Mine

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 30/12/2014

    In total agreement. This is a superb little game and one that packs more emotional punch than most other games released this year combined. Not my GOTY (that's Alien: Isolation) but a bloody close contender. I cannot recommend this highly enough. Reply +4
  • Games of 2014: Alien: Isolation

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 27/12/2014

    A truly magnificent game and my GOTY. On my second playthrough on Hard and then after that, it's on to Nightmare mode. Bring it on! Reply +3
  • Elite: Dangerous review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/12/2014

    @number1024 Elite is definitely not a first-person EVE. Besides being set in space and offering some pew pew, they are actually very different games. The main difference besides the perspective you play it from, are their respective economies. Elite's is currently driven by the developers, and EVE's as we all know is driven by the players.

    The other key difference is the server setup. If it wasn't for Tranquility, we wouldn't have EVE at all. That New Eden is basically one massive shard containing between 15,000-45,000 players in the same game space is mindboggling. Elite randomly dumps you into instances with only a few players in that particular bubble.

    The sad truth is, in our lifetime there probably never will be a first-person EVE. It just wouldn't be technically possible.
    Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 22/12/2014

    This game is astounding. It looks, sounds, plays and feels like nothing else. I love it and can't wait for the planetside stuff to be added further down the line. The scale it takes place on is breathtaking.

    I think it's also worth mentioning to those who think their computers might not be up to the task - in actual fact it more than likely is. Elite Dangerous runs on very old hardware and scales brilliantly.

    Had it been released earlier (or if I'd been a backer) this would easily have been in my Top 5 for GOTY. It's stunning.
    Reply +33
  • Star Citizen's Chris Roberts doffs hat to Elite: Dangerous

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 20/12/2014

    @NymChimpsky Limit Theory really is looking very tasty. That it was made by one guy, who wrote an entire coding language in order to make it how he imagined it makes it all the more astonishing. Josh Parnell's video blogs are great and really insightful. Also, his UI design is proof of his genius. I wish I'd backed it. Reply +1
  • Minecraft creator Notch bought the most expensive house ever in Beverly Hills

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 19/12/2014

    Top notch. Reply +32
  • Ubisoft delays Assassin's Creed: Unity's next major patch

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/12/2014

    Also of note is how, according to this Gaf thread (, the appalling pop-in has now been turned into a feature! Ubisoft have added an animation for it, what with it all being set inside the Animus... unbelievable. Reply +10
  • Controversial mass murdering game Hatred appears on Steam Greenlight

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/12/2014

    If you don't like the look of the content for this game don't buy it. Just because something makes you feel uncomfortable that is no justification for calling for something to be banned.

    Or should we also ban Martyrs, Salo, Mein Kampf and A Serbian Film?
    Reply +1
  • Elite: Dangerous and the art of the galactic grind

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/12/2014

    @KrazyFace Planetside exploration is being planned for a future update, so any planet you see, the plan is to allow you to land anywhere(!) on its surface, hop out of your ship and explore it. Reply +2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/12/2014

    Midday cannot come soon enough. Impulsively pre-ordered it earlier this morning due to pangs of excitement. I really can't wait. The Godfather of all games is finally here with a luscious lick of paint. Never thought I'd be playing an Elite game in 2014. Happy days. :D

    EDIT: Have now spent a few hours with it. What a magnificent beast of a game this is. Absolutely stunning to look at, and that sound design is phenomenal through headphones. That deepening thrumthrumthrum of the engine when coming out of hyperspace is so satisfying. Playing it with a 360 pad is quite a challenge though so I might have to get a HOTAS setup at the weekend (aw, shucks!). I foresee many hundreds of hours being lost in this universe. It is impossibly big.
    Reply +3
  • Windows 10 leak reveals new Xbox app for PC

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 15/12/2014

    DX12 will only work with Windows 10 and we'll all be expected to be absolutely fucking thrilled at the announcement.

    We're not stupid, Phil.
    Reply +70
  • Rich Stanton on: GTA's growing pains

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/12/2014

    Reply +1
  • Eurogamer readers' top 50 games of 2014 voting

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/12/2014

    Geometry Wars 3 needs to be added please.

    Anyway: assuming that it is part of the list my Top 5 (should anyone even bother reading this far down) is:

    1) Alien Isolation
    2) This War Of Mine
    3) Titanfall
    4) The Forest
    5) Geometry Wars 3
    Reply +2
  • Steam Holiday Sale starts 18th December, 6pm GMT

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/12/2014

    @misterm84 Not only that, but two days earlier Elite Dangerous is released. We are being truly spoiled. Merry Christmas! Reply +2