The_shlaaaag_returns Comments

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  • EGX 2015: The Division playable, $100k CS: GO tournament

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 24/07/2015

    Can't make it this year, which is a shame. On the plus side, I'll be in Greece getting absolutely bolloxed in glorious hot weather and eating lots of tasty Greek food by the beach.

    Every cloud...
    Reply -3
  • Night Trap fan is porting the FMV classic to a browser

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/07/2015

    This game is absolute shit. Reply +2
  • The Amiga is 30 years old today

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/07/2015

    Another reason the Amiga is awesome. This is some banging jungle made on the Amiga by no less than Aphrodite himself. Reply +7
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/07/2015

    @AmorousBadger I may have mentioned Speedball 2, but I completely forgot about Deluxe Paint, Fate Of Atlantis, Populous, Alien Breed and Flashback. The Amiga was home to so many amazing games (and in fairness it was a long time ago!) it's easy to forget some of them. Reply +3
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/07/2015

    @groovychainsaw You had a CD32?! Awesome! :D Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/07/2015

    I have such happy gaming memories of the Amiga. A truly legendary machine. My favourite games are the usual suspects: Sensible Soccer (still the best football game ever made), Treasure Island Dizzy, Syndicate, Speedball 2 and Cannon Fodder, which is just one of the best games ever, it's timeless. I also have rose-tinted memories of Wolfchild and the mech game Walker. The Amiga absolutely rocked.

    EDIT. Just read some of the other comments... how the fuck did I forget Zool and FA18?! Immense games!
    Reply +4
  • Star Citizen, feature creep and money

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/07/2015

    @janishewski
    there is nothing wrong with someone that financially supports something to question where their money has gone.
    I agree, but what bothers me is when Roberts or one of the community managers answer these queries, and backers get shitty with them regardless. SC has not been in development for very long, given its scope and ambition, and there is an awful lot that needs to be absolutely bang on if the rest of the game isn't to fall flat on its arse. They've also had to (with help from ex-Crytek staff) pretty much rebuild CryEngine 3 from scratch. I'm no developer, but I imagine that in itself is a fucking colossal challenge and one that takes time to overcome.

    In a world where Arkham Knight, The Evil Within, Watch Dogs and many other abortive attempts at PC ports are deemed fit for release, I'm more than happy to wait for a genuinely daring and ambitious game built for my chosen platform from the ground up. People with attention spans shorter than a rat's cock need to learn to be patient and wait. This isn't the kind of game you can shit out in two years and claim is the best thing ever. If people expect this to be released in 2016 they're dreaming.

    The game will get finished and I have absolute confidence that it will deliver most (but not all) of what it's promised.
    Reply +3
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/07/2015

    @Comet
    how can anyone predict a failure this early?
    Haven't you heard? All gamers are now experts in game development and know how to make ambitious AAA games better than a guy who made his name by making ambitious AAA games.
    Reply +3
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/07/2015

    - "Is Star Citizen impossible to finish?"
    - "Some people who claim that have no imagination or technical ability to do it."

    Well said. Derek Smart can fuck off.
    Reply +3
  • Should you install The Witcher 3 patch 1.07?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/07/2015

    @dimasok CDProjekt did their job. You seem to be overlooking one rather important detail: neither console is especially powerful. Reply 0
  • Uncharted 4 pushes PS4 tech to the next level

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/07/2015

    This is the most depressing comments section on Eurogamer I've ever had the misfortune to skim read. Reply +2
  • Nintendo fans pay their respects to Satoru Iwata

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/07/2015

    Still can't believe he's passed. It's so sad.

    At a time like this it's important to take a step back and note just how much Iwata did for gaming. The Wii, despite its success, has always been the butt of many jokes, but it will be undoubtedly Iwata's greatest legacy. It's important we realise just what that little white box and its remote did for gaming's image amongst the wider public, and how it made gaming a far more socially acceptable activity to take part in.

    Iwata levelled the playing field with Wii and opened up gaming to millions. It may not have sold PS2's numbers, but its impact on not just the games industry, but on wider popular culture in general, is incalculable. The man was a genius and a visionary and our hobby is so much worse off without him gracing it with his wit and passion. RIP.
    Reply +32
  • Nintendo president Satoru Iwata passes away at 55

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/07/2015

    @HELLOFELLOWGAMERS Very eloquently put. Have an upvote. Reply +2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/07/2015

    The world just became a lot less fun. Reply +23
  • Video: It's a good time to get (back) into Elite: Dangerous

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/07/2015

    @Drunk-Si
    Even if you do manage to interdict someone and start comms, you've only got to look on the Elite forums to see how ridiculous people in the Elite community are about that. There's threads where I've seen people going mental about being bullied and how preying on other CMDRs is "disgusting". I believe they are referred to on the Elite forums as "carebears" and it's a pretty apt title. Trouble is there's so many of them.
    They're also called "84s", the people who played the original on the BBC Micro, have a throbbing full blown Stallone for Braben, and would rather the game be a single-player experience, as opposed to always online where the excitement comes from knowing you're carrying millions worth of cargo and the chances of being interdicted by another player are quite high.

    There have, however, been some videos posted on the subreddit of some script-kiddies going around killing Sidey's for fun and Frontier only suspended their accounts for a week. As far as I'm concerned, if you cheat, you get banned. Permanently.

    I'm hoping that the next big update is purely bug squashing and just fixing the parts of the game we all know are utterly borked, like Wings and the stuttering when in RES and SC.
    Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/07/2015

    @BarackObama You're wrong about Powerplay adding nothing. It's given us a bug which now makes it pretty much impossible to form Wings of more than two players! Hurrah! Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/07/2015

    I can't watch this as I'm at work on my break and on mobile, but Elite has been by far my most played game this year. I absolutely love it and for me the thrill of exploring space never gets old. It's wish fulfillment on a cosmic scale. My biggest issue with the game as it stands though is undoubtedly Powerplay.

    There is no other way of describing it: Powerplay is an absolute abortion of an idea and emblematic of Frontier's reluctance to truly open the game up and give players the amazing online sandbox game many of us know Elite Dangerous has the potential to be. An MMO where we can't setup our own guilds? Er... ok then.

    Instead they're trying to shoehorn lore and these faction leaders that pretty much no one gives a shit about into the game, and engaging with these characters by way of expanding or fortifying systems is a convoluted mess. Its biggest problem, however, is that nothing players do regarding Powerplay ends up mattering. It's ultimately meaningless and compounding the problem is the fact that it's a fucking terrible grind. I really think Frontier would be wise to scrap it completely and come up with something else.

    Surely something similar to Faction Warfare in EVE Online would be preferable to this Powerplay system the game currently has? We were already in factions (Federation/Alliance etc.) so why not have certain areas of space similar to Plexes that exist (let's call them Control Points for the sake of argument) purely for PvP and that encourage players to fight for control over them in reward for credits or rank points within our chosen faction depending on whether they're low payout or high payout control points (like Novice, Medium or Large plexes in EVE). Frontier could still call it Powerplay. It's a cool name after all, but it's for nothing unless they give us faction-wide comms chat so we can co-ordinate with each other (that this isn't already a feature is staggering), limit which types of ship can enter certain control points so it stays balanced and I think it would be great fun. In combination it would encourage, as well as allow, players to work together and co-ordinate their plans as well as be a truly on-going (as well as interesting and engaging) struggle for power where our actions would have consequences.

    Sadly though, Powerplay currently is possibly the most boring meta game I've ever taken part in. And despite watching the Frontier video tutorials on YouTube I still couldn't explain it to a new player properly and have the balls to pretend I know what I'm talking about. It's an overcomplicated, tedious mess. I can't be arsed to get to Rank 3 as quite frankly the whole thing bores me to tears.

    All that being said, I love the game. It's fucking awesome. On a different note Frontier would be wise to stop downgrading the graphics. It's as if they think we won't notice. 1.3 noticeably reduced the visual quality of the game. Truly weird and I hope they address it. Elite's looks are one of its selling points!
    Reply +8
  • Lizard Squad attacks PlanetSide 2, H1Z1, more

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/07/2015

    What an absolute bunch of arse candles. Reply +26
  • 18 minutes of No Man's Sky footage shows off what you actually do

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/07/2015

    @CliffPromise Completely agree. It's in a different league to this. Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/07/2015

    Sorry guys, but I'm yet to be convinced by this game. It isn't doing anything new and the visuals and the art style just aren't to my liking. I'm sure many will like the game but to me it seems very shallow, simple and aimless.

    And that IGN guy is a colossal bell end.
    Reply +3
  • Star Wars Battlefront alpha leaked, mined for information

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/07/2015

    It certainly looks and sounds the part, but I hate the fact that it takes so many shots to down a stormtrooper. If you want to make it like Star Wars, one shot should be enough, rather than shooting one of those heavy assault troopers (or whatever they're called) six times in the head before they die. I found that incredibly annoying to watch. It's far too gamey.

    ...or I'm just playing Arma 3 and Insurgency far too much.
    Reply +1
  • Watch Uncharted 4's full 14-minute E3 gameplay demo

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 01/07/2015

    PC gamer here. You're dead wrong. See my comment above. I can't fucking wait. Reply +5
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 01/07/2015

    This and The Last Guardian are all I need to justify buying a PS4. They both look absolutely amazing, and this new clip only makes me want it more. Can't wait to get my hands on what will sadly be the last instalment of a brilliant franchise. 2016 cannot arrive soon enough. Reply +9
  • On console, PlanetSide 2 is as opaque, frustrating and brilliant as it was on PC

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 30/06/2015

    I like it when devs choose to not insult your intelligence and actually trust you to find out how a game works and to learn the rules through play. If people think PS2 on PS4 is obtuse, they should have seen the PC version when it launched. There was zip. Nada. No tutorials. No special map to learn the basic mechanics. It just dropped you into the biggest battle and left you to it, and I loved it for that. Reply +3
  • Video: Why you might like to play Her Story

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 29/06/2015

    @zoidberg It's genuinely brilliant and a step forward for games and how they tell stories. Your playthrough will be different from everyone else's, but it will be equally as shocking and full of twists. It plays like it's been scripted, only it isn't, because you're in control of the story, not the game. It's very clever but it's a game you'll only really get once you've played it.

    My one caveat would be: if you don't like ambiguity and prefer concrete endings, Her Story may not be the game for you.
    Reply +3
  • Shuhei Yoshida on saving The Last Guardian and PS4 in Japan

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/06/2015

    @grassyknoll I don't think it's them not giving a shit. The Japanese market as you know has moved away from consoles and is predominantly mobile focused, and devs such as Valve simply don't cater to it. It's not their area of expertise. Microsoft have tried but they only sold 100 Xbox Ones last month! 100! Reply +7
  • AMD Radeon R9 Fury X review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 25/06/2015

    @arcam You can just download that 32nd core surely? Reply +7
  • Her Story review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 25/06/2015

    I think this is a brilliant game and possibly the best story I've ever come across in a game. It's incredibly compelling, but the way that the plot unfolds as if it was scripted is an astonishing achievement. Every player's experience will be wildly different but equally revelatory and impactful.

    The gameplay might be minimal but as an example of using the medium of games to its full potential with regard to narrative and story, Her Story is an absolute triumph.
    Reply +3
  • Radeon R9 390X 8GB review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/06/2015

    It's the Nano I'm more interested in. Reply 0
  • No Man's Sky coming to PC same time as PS4

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 19/06/2015

    @A-bob-omb Lazy exploration is possible in Elite too. I'm finally getting round to heading to Sagittarius A*, the supermassive black hole that holds our galaxy together. It's 28,000 light years away though. It's going to be a long, lonely trip! Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/06/2015

    It will face some tough competition on PC. I can't see it enticing enough players from games like Star Citizen, Elite Dangerous or EVE to be a success on the platform, especially considering how comparitively little there is to do in it. I hope to be proven wrong of course. Reply -6
  • Kerbal Space Program is coming to PS4

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/06/2015

    Great announcement but Sony need to allow full mod support. Mods are what make KSP. Reply +1
  • Sony's E3 conference: an artful blend of nostalgia and big business

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/06/2015

    @grassyknoll No not yet, but players will be able to in the future. You were able to land on planets back in Elite 2 some twenty years ago, and the plan is to introduce the feature into Elite Dangerous later on down the line. Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/06/2015

    @grassyknoll No I'm not joking. When Murray ended up moving through the map and finally chose a system to visit, I expected to see a colossal distance marked on the map, given how far he'd moved through it. Maybe I've just been playing Elite Dangerous for too long, but 213 light years is no distance at all.

    In NMS's defence it isn't really trying to be a space sim, but its sense of scale is completely off IMO.
    Reply -2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/06/2015

    Really great show from Sony. The Last Guardian and Uncharted 4 both looked as excellent as one would hope, particularly the former which I thought looked absolutely glorious.

    No Man's Sky was disappointing however. Yes, the planetside landings and exploration is cool, but the galaxy map was incredibly average. It just didn't look very big, especially when compared to Elite Dangerous. Very underwhelmed by it.

    As for Shenmue 3, delighted that it's being made, but if Sony were prepared to announce it, why weren't they prepared to finance it? Promoting a Kickstarter is a bit odd to be honest and I'm not sure it's something I'm altogether too keen on.
    Reply 0
  • Ubisoft announces 4v4 melee game For Honor

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/06/2015

    Chivalry nailed it. This looks bland by comparison. Reply +1
  • Bethesda reveals first Doom gameplay

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 15/06/2015

    Looks absolutely fantastic and I can't wait to play it. It's funny how the same games always seem to make a return at some point and push technology further on. Old-skool FPSs like DOOM, Unreal Tournament 4, as well as the return of space-sims. It's like being in the 90s again, and I love it. Reply +2
  • Rich Stanton on: Virtual insanity

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/06/2015

    @dogmanstaruk "apart from Valkyrie nothing jumps out yet"

    Despite being a mod, Alien: Isolation in VR is astounding and pant-pooingly scary. First-person horror games are going to be amazing with VR and I cannot wait.

    And despite what one would think, third-person games do work in VR. I played Lucky's Tale on the Rift at EGX last year and it basically gives you a God's eye view over the world and you can lean in and inspect different areas of it. It's surprisingly cool. Imagine an RTS like Total War through a Rift and playing it with one of those Touch controllers. It would be incredibly empowering.
    Reply +4
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/06/2015

    VR being a niche product is hardly surprising or a bold prediction. It will happily occupy its place in the market for about ten years, with multiple improvements made over that time. And then, Oculus and HTC will finally crack the biggest puzzle of all: how to make it wireless, and VR will explode in popularity. By that point we'll be playing at 4K resolution per eye and everybody wins. Reply +3
  • Oculus Touch is the Oculus Rift's future controller

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/06/2015

    Really impressive. I think it's a great look. Slick and refined and I can't wait to use them. Of the three VR controllers we've now seen (Touch, Valve's weird flower bud things and Sony's dildoesque Move) this is by far the one I'd most want to use. Reply +9
  • Video: Games that do mental health right

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/06/2015

    I'm amazed Depression Quest was mentioned in this. One of the most patronising and - given the subject matter - irresponsible games I have ever played. Its "advice" is frankly insulting and it depicts those who suffer from depression as lazy and narcissistic. A game so wrong and so awful on every level I'm amazed Zoe Quinn still has the audacity to call herself a game developer. It's as if her goal was to actively encourage people suffering from depression to not seek help.

    Ugh... just an utterly fucking loathsome game.
    Reply +1
  • Hyrule Warriors headed to 3DS, first trailer leaked

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/06/2015

    What a shame. A Nintendo game leaks for the first time in what feels like forever and it's one most of the gaming population won't give two shits about. At least leak a new Metroid Prime or Mario Galaxy game! Reply -17
  • The first Video Game Hall of Fame selects its inaugural class

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 05/06/2015

    I'm very surprised the original Elite on the BBC Micro isn't in there. It's arguably one of the most influential games ever made. Reply +18
  • PlayStation Store reveals Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 04/06/2015

    @GooseUK The ship capsizing and the plane crash are the best set-pieces in Uncharted and were absolutely amazing fun to play. I also loved the jeep-hopping moment towards the end of UC2. If there's a PS4 price cut at E3 I may well have to take the plunge. The Uncharted games are wonderful. Reply +3
  • Assetto Corsa confirmed for Xbox One and PS4

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 03/06/2015

    @cloudskipa No I haven't, and neither have you. I have played both AC and Forza 5, however, and all the previous Forzas before it. I can only assume based on your comments that you've never played Assetto Corsa, so your opinion is worthless. Reply +6
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 03/06/2015

    @cloudskipa Assetto Corsa is in a different league to Forza. Reply +5
  • The rediscovery of Ethan Carter: How last year's adventure is being remade for PS4 and VR

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 03/06/2015

    A marvellous game that (along with Arkham Knight) is proof that Unreal Engine 3 still has plenty of mileage left in it. Ethan Carter is one of the most beautiful games I have ever played. Still, a free upgrade to Unreal Engine 4 is most appreciated. Like I said, it's a great little game set in a world that is a pleasure to explore. Reply +3
  • Steam now offers game refunds "for any reason" within 14 days

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/06/2015

    Your move, EA. Reply +4
  • Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons rated for PS4, Xbox One

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/06/2015

    An absolutely amazing game. Reply +5
  • Blizzard's new Overwatch gameplay videos show complete, unedited matches

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 22/05/2015

    Can't wait to give this a go... assuming I get invited to the Beta of course. Looks an absolute blast. Reply 0