The_shlaaaag_returns Comments

Page 1 of 18

  • Ubisoft delays Assassin's Creed: Unity's next major patch

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/12/2014

    Also of note is how, according to this Gaf thread (, the appalling pop-in has now been turned into a feature! Ubisoft have added an animation for it, what with it all being set inside the Animus... unbelievable. Reply +10
  • Controversial mass murdering game Hatred appears on Steam Greenlight

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/12/2014

    If you don't like the look of the content for this game don't buy it. Just because something makes you feel uncomfortable that is no justification for calling for something to be banned.

    Or should we also ban Martyrs, Salo, Mein Kampf and A Serbian Film?
    Reply +1
  • Elite: Dangerous and the art of the galactic grind

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/12/2014

    @KrazyFace Planetside exploration is being planned for a future update, so any planet you see, the plan is to allow you to land anywhere(!) on its surface, hop out of your ship and explore it. Reply +2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/12/2014

    Midday cannot come soon enough. Impulsively pre-ordered it earlier this morning due to pangs of excitement. I really can't wait. The Godfather of all games is finally here with a luscious lick of paint. Never thought I'd be playing an Elite game in 2014. Happy days. :D

    EDIT: Have now spent a few hours with it. What a magnificent beast of a game this is. Absolutely stunning to look at, and that sound design is phenomenal through headphones. That deepening thrumthrumthrum of the engine when coming out of hyperspace is so satisfying. Playing it with a 360 pad is quite a challenge though so I might have to get a HOTAS setup at the weekend (aw, shucks!). I foresee many hundreds of hours being lost in this universe. It is impossibly big.
    Reply +3
  • Windows 10 leak reveals new Xbox app for PC

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 15/12/2014

    DX12 will only work with Windows 10 and we'll all be expected to be absolutely fucking thrilled at the announcement.

    We're not stupid, Phil.
    Reply +69
  • Rich Stanton on: GTA's growing pains

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/12/2014

    Reply +1
  • Eurogamer readers' top 50 games of 2014 voting

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/12/2014

    Geometry Wars 3 needs to be added please.

    Anyway: assuming that it is part of the list my Top 5 (should anyone even bother reading this far down) is:

    1) Alien Isolation
    2) This War Of Mine
    3) Titanfall
    4) The Forest
    5) Geometry Wars 3
    Reply +2
  • Steam Holiday Sale starts 18th December, 6pm GMT

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/12/2014

    @misterm84 Not only that, but two days earlier Elite Dangerous is released. We are being truly spoiled. Merry Christmas! Reply +2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/12/2014

    Obligatory. Might as well get this out the way.

    Reply +39
  • DICE vows: Final Stand is not the end for Battlefield 4

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/12/2014

    Camp Gibraltar from 2142 please, DICE. Reply +2
  • Alien: Isolation's latest update adds new difficulty modes

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/12/2014

    @AgentDaleCooper It's magnificent and a masterpiece in design, audio, atmosphere and coding. There is a lot of hiding involved but it's an incredibly absorbing and compelling game. It's my personal GOTY. Reply +14
  • Is Uncharted 4 the generational leap we were hoping for?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/12/2014


    No wonder the creative director left ND if this is the direction they want to take the series.
    Horse shit. Absolute horse shit. Hennig probably left Naughty Dog because, as has become clear with the recent trailer for Star Wars Episode VII, that the direction Disney are taking Star Wars in coupled with the opportunity to work on a next-gen Star Wars game, was far too good an offer to turn down.
    Reply +9
  • Uncharted 4 gameplay revealed in 15-minute video

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 06/12/2014

    So this is what the PS4 can do...

    EDIT: To those saying it doesn't look that impressive... are you mental?!
    Reply +42
  • Zelda Wii U detailed with new developer walkthrough video

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 06/12/2014

    I thought that looked glorious. Love the art style. Zelda Wii U cannot come soon enough. Between this, Uncharted 4 and Star Wars Battlefront, Christmas 2015 is shaping up to be an absolute treat. Reply +37
  • Video: Is Alien: Isolation's Trauma DLC worth sticking around Sevastopol for?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 05/12/2014

    Amazing game. The more maps the merrier. Reply +3
  • Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 01/12/2014

    I must respectfully disagree with this review, well written and well reasoned as it is, because I believe Lucid (who let's not forget are mostly made up of ex-Bizarre staff) have improved upon on RE2 in every conceivable way, bar one or two minor-ish quibbles. The move to 3D lends so much to the core gameplay, especially Spawn, perhaps my favourite new mode that I've got to so far during my playthrough of the Adventure mode. I also really like that the drones have been carried over from Galaxies.

    My one big gripe however is with the controls. What on earth went wrong? They're not responsive enough, though you will adapt to them, but they make Pacifism (arguably Geo Wars' best mode) borderline unplayable. They're too sluggish and imprecise and considering the need for precision when things get really busy, they're a huge hinderance. Also, colliding with enemies seems a bit inaccurate and I remain convinced that one time I died because my ship flew through the glow of an enemy rather than the enemy itself. Or maybe I'm just a bad loser.

    All things considered, I still absolutely love the game and am thrilled that the Undisputed King of Arcade Shoot 'em Ups is back. It's been far too long.
    Reply 0
  • Super Smash Bros. for Wii U review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/11/2014

    @IronSoldier It's almost as if Eurogamer isn't some monolithic entity and its writers have different opinions. Who knew? Reply +11
  • This War of Mine review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 25/11/2014

    A truly brilliant game and one that I would put up with Alien Isolation as my GOTY. I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you want to play something fresh and different that will make you think about your actions This War Of Mine is essential. It may be incredibly bleak but that leaden, filthy and oppressive atmosphere only adds huge weight to the survival gameplay, which is very compelling in itself. I have never felt like more of a cunt when playing a game either. Robbing the elderly couple or even hitting someone with a shovel really has an impact, but it's about survival; it's you or them.

    11-bit Studios deserve all the plaudits for this little gem. It really is something special. Despite being bombarded with more remasters and lazy shat-out sequels, this towers above all of them.
    Reply 0
  • Dark Souls 2 heading to PS4 and Xbox One

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 25/11/2014

    This generation is becoming a joke. Give us new games, not these endless remasters. Reply +4
  • Face-Off: Far Cry 4

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 24/11/2014


    My guess is they simply don't care...
    I find it impossible to doubt this.
    Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 24/11/2014

    @George-Roper Here's hoping that modder is Ziggy. If you haven't tried out Ziggy's Mod for Far Cry 3, I highly recommend it. It absolutely transforms the game into a more hardcore open-world game with a more complex crafting system, a skill tree you can unlock in any order you like and a minimal HUD. It's really excellent. Reply 0
  • Face-Off: Grand Theft Auto 5 on PS4 and Xbox One

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/11/2014

    Both versions push for an ambitious 1920x1080 framebuffer...
    If, in 2014, 1080p is seen as ambitious, then that makes me want to cry.
    Reply +14
  • Will Xbox One succeed in China?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 23/11/2014

    No. Reply +36
  • Chivalry: Medieval Warfare is free to play this weekend on Steam

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/11/2014

    You have no excuses for not indulging in this. It's awesome. Reply +5
  • Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions has pre-order DLC and platform-exclusive levels

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 20/11/2014

    Can't wait for this! Reply 0
  • Frontier outlines Elite: Dangerous refund policy following offline mode backlash

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 20/11/2014

    Still the same self-entitled dozen or so people outraged at a game because it isn't just more of the same with bells on. Kickstarter projects are subject to change. Why can't people understand this? The fact we're even getting an Elite at all should be cause for celebration. Instead we get the same people who refuse to accept that it isn't 1995 any more and get in a tizz because a game won't cater to their archaic ideas of what a game should be. It's 2014 for fuck sake. Reply -8
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 20/11/2014

    @OneManAndHisDroid Hear hear. +1 Reply -6
  • David Braben responds to outcry over Elite: Dangerous' ditched offline mode

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 19/11/2014

    @mouseymouse Shhh! Don't let facts get in the way of giving people any old excuse to moan about something. Reply -4
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 19/11/2014

    @grassyknoll So what would you rather? Games like e.g. Evil Within running at sub-20fps on PS4 because of the freedom to play a game offline (but not be able to download patches and updates that fix the problem) or have your console always connected so that you get the best gaming experience possible? I know which I'd rather. You have a Steam account surely? It's perfectly acceptable DRM. I fail to see why this is such an issue. Reply -4
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 19/11/2014

    Those who backed the game on Kickstarter clearly didn't read this from the Kickstarter FAQ:

    When you back a project, you’re helping to create something new — not ordering something that already exists. There’s a chance something could happen that prevents the creator from being able to finish the project as promised.
    If you don't read smallprint before pledging and then get in a huff when things don't work out your way, tough shit. Read properly.
    Reply -2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/11/2014

    What a reasoned response. At least he's held his hands up and admitted that perhaps info should have been relayed earlier, but the fact is, always-online is a thing now. That's how the world works. If he feels that an offline mode would compromise his vision for the game, than I accept that. Reply -12
  • Rockstar "urgently" looking into GTA 5 PS4 and Xbox One transfer issue

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/11/2014

    @Patbateman Read the update. It's affecting PSN. No need to throw insults around. Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/11/2014

    This is getting to the point where the times PSN works without any hiccups will be more newsworthy than the times it doesn't. Sony are charging people money for this shite. Reply +1
  • Elite: Dangerous ditches planned offline mode

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    @grassyknoll But...they Kickstarted it, online, on a website. They no doubt have Steam accounts. What difference could this possibly make? Most importantly, if Frontier feel it compromises what they had envisioned for the game, I'll believe them. Reply -7
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    @PearOfAnguish But this is a PC game. People's PCs are always connected to the internet anyway. Won't everyone likely to be playing Elite already have a Steam account? We log into Steam to play our games! If this was on console I'd be more sympathetic and understanding, but this is a huge fuss about nothing. An online Elite is better than an offline Elite. Reply -3
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    Dear all,

    Please read this. It's excellent.

    It contains this absolute gem, which many here won't like reading:

    We cannot look back to a golden age of offline gaming and find the future there. We’ve been there and done that. All previous Elites were great, we all know that as fans – but here’s an uncomfortable truth…

    They were all ultimately boring – limited by the technology they were built on.
    Reply +4
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    @PlugMonkey Fair enough I suppose. Personally though, I've wanted an online Elite since, well, since I can remember, and the fact there are people who just want to explore this amazing universe on their own and never have to encounter another player I find baffling. Emergent gameplay, these epic narratives that unfold especially when online, these are what I've wanted games to do for years. DayZ and EVE are the two obvious examples that spring to mind. They're truly heart-racing in a way Battlefield, Titanfall and Destiny etc. could never be. To each their own I guess. Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    @PearOfAnguish I'm not expecting EVE in real-time, I'm expecting a new Elite. Also, if you'd read my post properly you'd know that exploration is the reason I'm most looking forward to the game.

    The Elite universe has always been about the possibility of being attacked by pirates whether you're transporting cargo or exploring unknown areas of space. The only difference is now it's online, which is the natural evolution of the series is it not? Or should we, because a section of people who only enjoy playing games on their own and not ever interacting with other people, have to accept another game dumbed down for those who don't want to put thought into their games?

    Sorry if that sounds conceited, but I want a game which makes me think deeply about my decisions and the actions that follow them, not one that constantly lets me off the hook if I make a mistake and respawns me as if nothing has happened á la GTA and almost every other game.

    EDIT: TL;DR - Let's just agree to disagree. We'll be here all night otherwise.
    Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    @PearOfAnguish But not everyone wants to blow other players' ships up. This assumption that everyone online is some sort of trolling ubercunt has to stop. Elite is vast and the idea of meeting other players and going off exploring this impossibly big universe is what excites me most.

    I do, however, stand by my point about risk. It's a game about piracy and if it has no challenge (such as what many here seem to want) then for me there is no point in playing it. I want a game where I have to make careful decisions about which routes I take and where I'm likely to be attacked by other players. It adds depth, strategy and tactics to the game, which without them would basically be a "Go here, drop off cargo, go there to get paid. Rinse and repeat" simulator. I fail to see the appeal in that.
    Reply -2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    @PearOfAnguish That I can kind of understand, but some of the comments here are saying they don't want to play a game where risk is involved and they might get attacked. Why bother playing the game?

    The fact is people are losing their shit over nothing. As much as I don't like it, the fact is the world is pretty much always online now. The bigger scandal (and one I'm amazed Eurogamer haven't covered) is one from five months ago.

    In the following link ( is evidence that BattleEye, Bohemia's main anti-cheat measure for Arma, DayZ etc. is basically sending files from players' hard drives and dumping them on its master server. This has been an on-going issue within the community for months and Bohemia have stayed silent on the matter until today, five months after the issue was discovered! Their somewhat limp response is here: (

    Elite Dangerous on the other hand is merely asking PC gamers to have their game connected to the internet and everyone is losing their shit, using it as a stick to beat Braben, Frontier and even Kickstarter with, which is frankly bollocks. People need to get some perspective and also accept that the world is changing and whether we like it or not, the Internet is something that we are always going to have to be connected to when playing games.

    And the people who backed the game on Kickstarter and are complaining about this need to realise what it is they paid for, because they certainly didn't pay for the right to determine how the game was made.

    Apologies for the rant.
    Reply -1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/11/2014

    Sorry to be blunt, but a lot of this outrage is from people who, it would seem, want to play a game about trading and piracy in a persistent online world where the value of commodities is always changing, but not have any risk involved. If you want to play Elite solo pick up a BBC Micro and a copy of the original. This is where gaming is going. As someone who recently got into EVE, the fact I could be interdicted by another player is what makes it so exciting and unpredictable. How could you not want to be a part of that? Reply -10
  • Who needs games: PlayStation 4's first year

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2014

    @Dajji77 If they call the editor of a gaming site a cunt because their opinion isn't supported by said editor, then yes, they're twats and need to grow up. Also, one insult is, for most people, genuinely more offensive than the other. Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2014

    @Dajji77 I too came here to comment and did just that, only to return and see approximately 500 subsequent comments stating how anyone (in particular Eurogamer) criticising Sony, the PS4 or PSN is a fanboy. Pardon me, but last time I checked I was a consumer looking to invest in a games console and I find Sony's offering distinctly lacking.

    What I didn't do was throw insults at the editor (one of which actually calls Welsh a cunt) and accuse him and Eurogamer as a whole of being shills. That's disrespectful and plain rude and needs calling out. These comments sections are supposed to be for having rational and well-mannered discussions about our hobby, not shit-slinging and throwing childish tantrums.
    Reply +6
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2014

    "This article doesn't reward the borderline insane emotional investment I've put into a glorified toy! Oli Welsh must be a cunt!"

    Seriously, a lot of you commenting on this article should be ashamed of yourselves. If you want games as a medium to be taken seriously as an "artform" (which they're nowhere close to being, yet) and the industry analysed in depth and with honesty, you need to learn to accept critique and not hurl abuse and/or stupid accusations at someone for writing something you end up disagreeing with. This is a great article and I applaud Oli for it.
    Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2014


    I swear single format PS4 owners with a chip in their shoulder whenever someone doesn't praise the console as the 2nd coming of Christ.

    Bunch of fucking twats.
    Bang on.
    Reply -7
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 15/11/2014

    As a PC gamer looking for a reason to get a console, the last 12 months have not been very encouraging. There is nothing to tempt me at all into buying a PS4, at least not until Uncharted 4 is released, which for me is its first real killer app exclusive. The fact PSN is an absolute joke and a joke I'm expected to pay for dampens my enthusiasm somewhat.

    As it stands, I'll be spending Christmas playing Geometry Wars 3 and the daddy of games released over the festive period, Elite Dangerous. Sorry, Sony. Your offering just isn't good enough.
    Reply +1
  • PlayStation TV review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2014

    Did people genuinely think this was going to be anything other than another huge pooey skidmark? The amount of money they waste on these daft ideas when they could be spending it trying to fix already broken products already used by millions. By that I mean: PSN. Reply -7
  • Half-Life 2: 10 years on

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2014

    Despite its imitators, Half-Life 2 is still the king of the story-driven, single-player first-person game. Subjectively speaking, Bioshock and Alien Isolation have come close in their own unique way, but Valve's masterpiece I personally feel will only be topped when (or if) they ever create that elusive final chapter. Half-Life 2's greatest achievement was the Gravity Gun which was not only great fun to use, but in combination with the superb physics engine, enabled the player to solve puzzles using real-life logic, not game logic.

    Along with Elite, Super Mario Bros 3 and Minecraft, Half-Life 2 will forever be looked back upon and studied as a seminal piece of game design. It's a work of genius.

    EDIT: Managed to find this buried in my favourites playlist on Youtube. Here, a modder explains what it is that makes Half-Life 2's level design - and as a result, the game - so special. Really worth watching and highlights the amount of thought and care (as well as the beautiful simplicity) of Valve's design.

    Reply +40
  • Hardline has the most promising Battlefield campaign since Bad Company

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/11/2014

    This looks shit, as well as an incredibly unsubtle advert for the War On Drugs. Reply +4
  • Witcher 3 dev CD Projekt turns cluster-migraine-suffering fan into NPC

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/11/2014

    My housemate suffers from cluster headaches and they're absolutely savage. For those who don't know, they also go by the nickname "suicide headaches", which should put into perspective just how painful they are. And most mothers suffering from them have gone on record saying that they are more painful than childbirth.

    Huge props to CDProjekt for this gesture. They really do seem like a fantastic bunch of people.
    Reply +4