The_shlaaaag_returns Comments

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  • Overwatch League launches with a bang and dominates Twitch viewing figures

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/01/2018

    @GFoppy I agree but to OWL's credit the matches were far more coherent and had excellent commentary. It was a lot better than the World Cup. Reply 0
  • Overwatch Blizzard World theme park map launches next week

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/01/2018

    The Mercy changes cannot come soon enough. A lot of Mercy mains were pissed at the nerf currently on PTR but they're desperately needed. Despite all previous changes, she's still a must-pick support. From personal experience the nerfs to her Ressurect and Valkyrie has resulted in some good matches with far more caution being required before going in for a res. She'll be far harder to play well as.

    As a recent Moira main it's frustrating to be constantly asked to switch to a hero I'm not comfortable playing (even though I totally understand why) so these changes will be very welcome.
    Reply +1
  • Nintendo Switch announcement tonight to reveal "new interactive experience"

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/01/2018

    Switch mobile phone? Reply 0
  • Star Citizen, I am disappointed

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/01/2018

    @GTuk The object container streaming is something they've been working on for about two years now. Along with networking, if CIG can't get it working the whole game collapses under its own weight and is an unmitigated disaster.

    It's been two years and they've seemingly made very little, if any, progress.
    Reply +9
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/01/2018

    Bert, you've summed up my feelings about 3.0 perfectly. It's technically in a different league to everything else currently available and will be for some time, but there's just nothing to do in what is the most beautiful but empty shell of a world.

    Not wishing to defend the devs or attack them, but it's worth remembering that no other game is attempting to do what Star Citizen is attempting (whether one thinks that wise is down to personal opinion). Its ambition and scope is unrivalled and as such these things take time. Diablo 3 took 12 years to make after all. MMOs in particular are always development time sinks.

    The openness of SC's development, whilst refreshing, is also the source of so much frustration because we're seeing how slow development is and what little progress is being made. Anyone expecting Star Citizen before 2020 is deluding themselves, and lets say it hits 1.0 in October 2020, that will mean the game will have been in development for about 7-8 years. For an MMO that's pretty standard. For a game of such ambition, I'd say that's pretty impressive.

    Regardless, as a frustrated-at-the-state-of-3.0-but-happy-to-wait-and-see-if-things-improve backer, this article very much nails a lot of the feelings I have about the current state of play. Good article.
    Reply +26
  • Planet Coaster fan creates absurdly detailed 15-minute-long thrill ride inspired by Aliens

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/01/2018

    That is absolutely superb. Love the use of clips of the xeno from Alien and Alien Isolation. I can't even begin to imagine how long it took to make. Reply +2
  • PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds' new replays reveal the hidden stories all around you

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/01/2018


    "I can promise you that 99 kills out of 100 for me are cheaters."

    Reply +2
  • Star Citizen maker launches fiery legal defence against Crytek

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/01/2018

    @grassyknoll How are they talking complete nonsense? I know you've had an axe to grind against this game for years, but care to back up your allegations? Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/01/2018

    If I remember correctly the Crytek lawyers who drew up this original agreement with CIG about use of the engine now work at CIG. I'm no legal expert but it sounds a bit frivolous on Crytek's part, which would be a shame as I would love them to get their act together. I have high hopes for Hunt: Showdown and it would be a shame if they tarnished their reputation further before it releases. Reply +2
  • Nvidia unveils Big Format Gaming Displays: 65-inch 120Hz G-Sync 4K monitors

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/01/2018

    I'll never own one of those, but fuck me, just the thought of playing games on them has me pitching tents. Reply +13
  • PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds Xbox One patch promises "slight" frame-rate improvements

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/01/2018

    @Mun It was the same deal on PC as well. Lots of updates and always communicating with the community. If rubberbanding is an issue on Xbox, rest assured Bluehole/PUBG Corp will get round to fixing it. They really did do Early Access properly despite what you've probably read elsewhere. Reply +5
  • Insurgency: Sandstorm has dropped its planned story mode

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 04/01/2018

    Can't wait for this. Insurgency is brilliant and to be honest I don't think many Insurgency fans will be all that disappointed in the sequel's initial lack of a campaign, nor the now-fictionalised conflict. It was fictionalised in the original.

    I've already registered for the alpha and have my fingers crossed I get an invite. Its gameplay is incredibly tactical and bullets do proper damage. One or two shot kills are the norm, like in Rainbow Six Siege, but Insurgency's guns sound absolutely terrifying.
    Reply +2
  • Star Citizen alpha 3.0 lands, Squadron 42 gameplay revealed

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/01/2018

    The 3.1 patch is when we'll hopefully see fps improvements. When proper network culling is incorporated people won't be receiving information about what every other player on the server is doing tens of thousands of miles away. It's also a very CPU-taxing game and 16Gb RAM plus an SSD is pretty essential due to just how much map there is to keep track of and then load in seamlessly. It's certainly looking promising, but there are so many bugs and crashes in this 3.0 build that a bit of me suspects CIG released it as an attempt at a positive PR move given how late the update was.

    Squadron 42 on the other hand looks amazing and anyone who loved the Wing Commander games should have it on their radar. It looks to have combined cinematic storytelling with open world gameplay so as to give players complete control over the story. The performance capture is stunning, especially in the briefing scene with Liam Cunningham and Mark Hamill. The writing and acting also seems pretty decent. I am excite.
    Reply +3
  • The 50 most exciting games of 2018

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 02/01/2018

    You might as well remove Star Citizen as there's no way it will be finished in 2018. If our luck is in and the planets align, we might get the single-player Squadron 42 this year. They recently showed an hour's long vertical slice and, pre-alpha jank aside, it's looking like it could take single-player story-driven games to the next level.

    Reply +1
  • Eurogamer's games of 2017: The big debate

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 31/12/2017

    After reading this I do seriously question the integrity of two of the staff at EG. An utterly vapid debate and the justification for putting Destiny 2 in the Top 10 is not there. When something like Divinity Original Sin 2 comes along and is hailed by many as one of, if not the best RPGs ever made and comes lower in your ranks than a game that you all agree is "broken by design", I do wonder why I read EG nowadays.

    Not that it matters. Destiny 2 is shit anyway, DOS2 is a masterpiece and these charts are utterly meaningless, but it would have been nice to read some well articulated thoughts from supposed journalists as to why certain games placed where they did.
    Reply +13
  • Eurogamer's Top 50 Games of 2017: 10-1

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 30/12/2017

    Other than Destiny 2, that's a very respectable Top 10, regardless of the order they're in. Reply -3
  • The year in loot boxes

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 29/12/2017

    The great Star Wars debacle - and I'm not talking about The Last Jedi
    Reply -7
  • Eurogamer's Top 50 Games of 2017: 30-21

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/12/2017

    Reply +2
  • Eurogamer's Top 50 Games of 2017: 40-31

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 27/12/2017

    The salt in these comments over something so arbitrary is glorious. Reply +6
  • PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/12/2017

    @PlugMonkey Ha! I have said that "I'm not ending on that note" or something similar so many times. Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 21/12/2017

    This is my GOTY. It's the only new game released this year that I bought (as soon as it hit Steam in March) and I haven't felt the need to buy anything else. I absolutely love it and it's such an improvement over the Arma 3 mod. It's DayZ but with all the boring survival shit and endless running removed, and a heavy focus on that heart-pounding PvP action these games do better than any other. It's given me some of the most intense, action packed and hilarious moments in all my years of gaming.

    It started off pretty janky and with a limited set of weapons, but in 9 months the game feels so different to what we got back when it first released. I also think a huge part of its success is that despite being a sandbox shooter, the circle forces a tight focus on the two main objectives: stay alive by making sure you're always inside it, and win by any means possible. It's a perfect recipe, open ended but with enough restraint to ensure it stays focused and matches never last too long. Most importantly there's no bollocks progression system. Just the thrill of winning and the urge for "just one more" game if you don't. Before you know it it's 1am.
    Reply +8
  • Snazzy 3D replays will make the PUBG 1.0 release this week

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/12/2017

    @Ragnor No I wouldn't because it clearly runs terribly as anyone with access to YouTube will tell you. The PC version however, runs fine. Reply +2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/12/2017

    @dj_blades 1.0 was always going to be released this year. It was due in September and got delayed to year's end in July and they vowed to meet that deadline, which they did. Reply -1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/12/2017

    @Ragnor You do talk bollocks. Anyone with a decent rig can run the test build at well above 60fps on High/Ultra settings and has been able to since Miramar went live. Stop parroting other people's ill-informed opinions.

    The main issue it still has is the rubber banding after you land, which will hopefully be fixed, as pretty much everything else has since it's been in Early Access.
    Reply +4
  • PUBG performs badly on Xbox One - and X

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/12/2017

    @Simatron3000 Look at the size of Fortnite's map and compare that to PUBG's and the resulting impact that has on the CPU.

    The former's art style also means that it in no way strains hardware to anywhere near the same degree. If you've played the test server (with the new map) you'll know that PUBG runs like an absolute dream meaning you can run the game on pretty much max settings: I run everything on Ultra except Shadows which are on High and AA which I've set to Low because it looks better than higher settings. To the dev's credit, they've met their promise of having the game running smoothly and out by year's end. PUBG is actually a great example of how to do Early Access. Greene has been very transparent throughout EA and the most recent build is testament to that.
    Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/12/2017

    @ClassyCaribou That you've been downvoted within ten minutes of posting that comment tells you all need to know. The PUBG bashing must continue and the meme that it runs badly on PC (when it doesn't if you have an even half-decent rig) must live on. Reply -1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/12/2017

    @Scottoest Considering I'm running an i5 you couldn't be more wrong. Reply -2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 13/12/2017

    This whole "the game plays badly on PC too" narrative is bollocks. PUBG is very CPU-intensive and in order to run it well you do need a fairly decent PC. People who say it runs badly almost never post their specs, and more often than not their PC is a potato, yet "optimisation" means they think they should be able to run anything. Sadly, reality tells us that almost never happens. Regarding the console versions, given how shit their CPUs are, they were always going to struggle to run this well.

    I hope this current Xbox version is running on the older version of UE4. After the recent PC test build was updated to a newer version of the engine, performance skyrocketed for pretty much everyone. If that's the case on Xbox, an engine upgrade could see the game drastically improve.

    Anyone who has played the Test Server on PC will know just how well what will be the final 1.0 game runs now. 80+fps all the time and that's a relatively powerful but by no means top-end rig. And comparing it to Fortnite is pointless. The map is a fraction of the size and the art style is also very basic.
    Reply -7
  • Nintendo Switch hits 10m sales in nine months

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/12/2017

    To all those who replied to me, you don't seem to understand that not everyone finds Nintendo as appealing as they once did and that some of us have chosen to move on from console gaming. I still hold a soft spot for certain franchises that I loved back when I was younger (specifically Zelda and Mario) but I'm not spending hundreds on a console I'll never take outside and for only two games. I have a very nice rig and £360-£400 can go towards much better things, like holidays for example. Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/12/2017

    @Willziak £200 per game seems reasonable to you? Er... ok then. Reply -8
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 12/12/2017

    I'd love for Nintendo to go through their Wii and GameCube back catalogue and re-release new versions of some absolute classics before I consider buying one. Get both Mario Galaxies, the Metroid Prime Trilogy, Zak & Wiki, Viewtiful Joe 1 & 2, Killer7, the original Super Monkey Ball and Skyward Sword (I know it's popular nowadays to bash that game but I still think it's brilliant) I'd buy a Switch in a heartbeat.

    As much as I really want to check out Breath Of The Wild and am utterly dying to play Mario Odyssey, nothing else on the platform really appeals. I can't justify an approximate £400 outlay for two games.
    Reply -4
  • PlayerUnknown apologises for Battlegrounds' inappropriate female character model

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/12/2017

    Christ, if people are offended at a bit of camel toe or moose knuckle they're going to absolutely lose their shit when Soul Calibur VI is released. In fact, did any of these outraged folk on Twitter make comment about Ivy's, Taki's or Sophia's outfits and "physics" when the game was revealed? Was there an article about any of this on Eurogamer? Reply +9
  • Your Amiga games are likely dying

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/12/2017

    My obligatory Amiga post.

    Reply +10
  • Destiny 2 locks one of its most-prized exotic guns behind Curse of Osiris expansion

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/12/2017


    Exploit gamers = ask for comment.
    Include a difficult topic in a game = crucifixion.
    Well said. Their priorities are completely screwed. But then I guess EG can't afford to not have Activision selling them ad space for their next big title.

    Reply +7
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/12/2017

    This is where Eurogamer should step in, hammer these greedy fuckpigs and hold them to account for their actions. Reply +35
  • PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds desert map finally named, detailed

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 06/12/2017

    Cannot wait for this. The last test server build showed big performance gains too and the vaulting really is a game changer. The early game in particular (say, if you land in Pochinki) can be hilariously hectic as you're being chased through windows. That this map has been designed more specifically with vaulting in mind is hugely reassuring. The new guns and vehicles look good fun too. Reply +3
  • Star Citizen is selling virtual plots of land for up to £96 a pop

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 29/11/2017

    Oh for fuck's sake. Reply +5
  • Destiny 2 free trial goes live today

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/11/2017

    Played the beta and thought it was shite, albeit very pretty shite. Reply +8
  • Revisiting Crysis, the last great bastion of PC elitism

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 27/11/2017

    @b0rk Not only that, you could chop down trees with bullets! Reply +6
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 27/11/2017

    Still a great game ten years on (along with the follow-up expansion Warhead). If you do want to play it you'll need to buy it from GOG, who patched it themselves to make it work with Windows 10. It's an absolute treat to play and whilst linear, it just felt like you had huge amounts of freedom to go about completing your objective. And it still looks amazing (especially when the jungle gets frozen), which is testament to how good Crytek's art and engine programming teams were back in the day before they all jumped ship.

    Such a shame the sequels never expanded upon a brilliant original, and in the ten years since its release Crytek have really gone down the toilet thanks to dreadful management by the Yerli brothers. Here's hoping Hunt: Showdown is a success. It really does look a return to form for the studio.
    Reply +19
  • The first hour of Star Citizen alpha 3.0 from a player's POV

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 24/11/2017

    @kangarootoo This will be long, so I apologise.

    Star Citizen is intended to be an MMO with the usual range of career paths available to players: bounty hunter, trader, miner, pirate, hauler etc. but will also in later updates allow players to take part in things like farming, search and rescue, racing, espionage, salvage, archaeology and a few others that escape me.

    Due to the way it's being developed though, and given that it's been crowdfunded, Star Citizen is effectively having to be developed backwards, i.e. build the world first and fill it with things to do, instead of nailing down the core gameplay loop and then building the world to fit said loop. They need to do this in order to sell the game to potential backers as well as re-engaging with old backers who might see an impressive demo (such as the planet-sized city demo last month) and decide to chuck a few quid toward a new ship in order to support development.

    Now, to answer your question: yes, I have played it. Backed it four years ago. Thing is, because of CIG's development of the game, the current build (2.6.3) is pretty empty and lacking in things to do. There are a few missions you can run in the very early version of the persistent universe, a horde mode, a racing mode and a very basic and early implementation of the FPS combat. Technically, however it is in a different league to every other game on the market with graphics that take the breath away, stunning ship design, and a sense of scale and immersion that is simply overwhelming.

    This 3.0 update is such a huge milestone for the game because it will be the very first iteration of Star Citizen as Chris Roberts pitched it (but with procedural planet tech thrown in almost two years ahead of schedule). Once this build is out the gate, CIG can hopefully (*cough* *snigger*) release more frequent updates and build upon its foundations and expand from there. It's a long way off, mind. As in, 2020 if we're lucky. They have A LOT of work to do.
    Reply +9
  • UK Gambling Commission weighs in on how it can - and can't - regulate in-game loot boxes

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 24/11/2017

    "A key factor in deciding if that line has been crossed is whether in-game items acquired 'via a game of chance' can be considered money or money's worth... In practical terms this means that where in-game items obtained via loot boxes are confined for use within the game and cannot be cashed out it is unlikely to be caught as a licensable gambling activity. In those cases our legal powers would not allow us to step in."
    There it is. Ignore the manipulative and predatory ways of exploiting people's weakness to addictive loops, it's all about "cashing out". We are so fucked.
    Reply +5
  • FIFA players react to EA's dramatic Star Wars Battlefront 2 microtransactions U-turn

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/11/2017

    Casuals will be the death of gaming and through no fault of their own. Reply +1
  • New Overwatch hero Moira could arrive today in time for free weekend

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2017

    It'll be interesting to see what changes Blizzard make for the live release. She was ludicrously overpowered on the PTR. She did DPS level damage and was the best burst healer of all the supports. On the plus side, her mobility and healing/dps orbs make her one of the most fun, if not THE most fun heroes to play. The wider audience will love her. Reply 0
  • Star Wars Battlefront 2 loot boxes investigated by Belgian Gaming Commission

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 16/11/2017

    @Thermobaric Whilst I agree with you that the lootbox system we all hate bears striking similarities to gambling, what people need to remember is that when gambling at, say, a casino, you bet on something knowing that there is a good chance that you may come away with nothing.

    It would not surprise me if governments ignored our pleas because when it comes to lootboxes, yes, people are spending money in the hope of obtaining a skin they want. However, even if they don't get that skin, they technically haven't "lost" either because they've "won" two emotes, a victory pose and a voice line. They've "lost" nothing and that's where the grey area lies. It would be very easy for governments to ignore this issue because in the eyes of the law, players are winning everytime.

    The whole thing is scandalous in my eyes and I wish lootboxes would get in the fucking bin. They're a plague on gaming.
    Reply +8
  • Crytek's multiplayer swamp horror Hunt: Showdown will enter closed alpha this winter

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/11/2017

    I cannot wait for this. It looks bloody brilliant. Love the lighting and the style of it all. Reply +2
  • The price and state of Star Wars Battlefront 2 loot crates at launch

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/11/2017

    @travnail Whether or not people buy into the crate system is irrelevant. EA are exposing children to gambling mechanics and consumers need to be made aware of this.

    All that matters to EA is the bottom line. If BF2 makes more money than the first, they'll see it as people accepting this sort of practice, and will then continue to incorporate it in to all future titles. It's disgusting.
    Reply +14
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/11/2017

    @grassyknoll Your sarcasm game has been on point, Sir. 10/10 Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/11/2017

    @GAmbrose No I won't. Reply -1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/11/2017

    Fuck this game, fuck EA and fuck DICE. If you buy this game you are part of the problem. Reply +226