The_shlaaaag_returns Comments

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  • Return to Skyrim

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 18/04/2014

    Despite all the graphics mods which drastically improve how the game looks, the best mod I ever added was the simplest - a clock during the loading screens. Made sure I didn't accidentally stay up until four in the morning wandering about killing deer! Reply +2
  • Bungie insists Destiny remains on track despite composer exit

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 17/04/2014

    Marty O'Donnell picks up his bags from the studio where he has been
    Told he can leave
    Waits at the window wearing the face of a man who's in such disbelief
    And very peeved

    What a massive piss take
    To show Marty the door
    Why's he been terminated
    Completely without cause?
    Reply -2
  • David Attenborough is making an Oculus Rift nature documentary

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 14/04/2014

    @MeBrains I was just wondering as I wasn't sure how to interpret your last comment.

    I don't think a documentary is the killer app you need to get you to buy one to be honest. Just using one will be enough to convince you that it's the future. It's an amazing piece of tech. I used one for all of five minutes and knew there and then that I needed to play games through it. It's truly transformative, trust me.

    That Attenborough is making use of this technology excites me a lot. The vertigo induced from those high shots of rainforests and mountain peaks would be intense. Will be interesting to find out what techniques they use to film wildlife so as to place us in the environment with it. I imagine it will be shot differently than every nature doc before it. Colour me very intrigued.
    Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 14/04/2014

    @MeBrains Out of curiosity have you used a Rift before? Reply 0
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 14/04/2014

    Last I checked Oculus Rift was only meant for gaming. I mean, who cares that this tech is being embraced by others and that it allows us to experience the wonders of nature and science in new and exciting ways when I can shoot people in the face and feel like I'm actually there when doing it? Reply +2
  • Chris Roberts shows off Star Citizen dogfighting

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/04/2014

    @Guy.J. No, not mid-development at all. It was pre-Alpha. What were you expecting? When the DFM is released to the public it will be in a fully playable state, you'll be flying against different ships and most importantly, there'll be more players! There were only three players, including Roberts, flying about. Of course it wasn't going to be pulse-pounding action!

    You just can't win. Ambition these days tends to be met more with cynicism and hopes of failure than the hope of success. I find that very sad.
    Reply +28
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/04/2014

    There has been an awful lot of backlash towards Roberts and CIG after this event. The presentation was littered with bugs and crashes (as well as being an hour late in starting) and certain members of the crowd certainly didn't help things with their constant shouting about how "CryEngine sucks!" when it quite clearly doesn't.

    The game was in a pre-alpha state, if you could even call it that, and I commend Roberts for having the balls to demo something which was clearly not in a state that would be shown to the press under normal circumstances. He has been so open about development of the game and how it's all going, and to expect a build that early in development to not have bugs in it at all is monumentally stupid.

    So far, the game looks astoundingly beautiful (helped by that lovely PBR), the Newtonian physics for flying look very cool, as does the fading out of the screen as your pilot blacks out from pulling too many G's. This really does give me that special tingly feeling I've not felt about a game for a very long time. I truly hope Roberts can pull it off. He's never let us down before.

    Watch this and tell me you're not excited.

    Reply +40
  • Viscera Cleanup Detail Early Access review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 11/04/2014

    I suspect the finished game will clean up at the BAFTA Awards. Reply +14
  • "We have the ambition to build the best gaming console for fans"

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/04/2014

    @Dougal10 Because they're the only two games that I can state with 99% certainty will be shown at E3. If I had a hidden camera inside Sony's offices, trust me, I'd be telling you and everyone else what they plan to unveil. Reply -4
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/04/2014

    @Machiavellian Indeed, you've expressed exactly my sentiments. Unfortunately, I can see resolution being used as a stick to beat the XO with for many years to come, regardless of how good its games are. Reply -2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/04/2014

    I really hope Microsoft can turn things around for competition's sake, but DX12 will not be one of the things to do that. They are going to have to pull some tasty looking rabbits out of the hat at E3 if they are to convince people to buy into their vision. Announcing a Kinect-less SKU would be the obvious place to start. And given the lack of oomph in the hardware - when compared to PS4 - show off the exclusives that will make people sit up and take notice, but with The Last Of Us Remastered, Uncharted 4, and whatever other surprises Sony have lined up, that is asking an awful lot.

    Fingers crossed.
    Reply -3
  • A glimpse at The Last of Us Remastered on PS4

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/04/2014

    Sold. Time to start saving for a PS4. Reply +6
  • SOE's zombie apocalypse MMO H1Z1 has been detailed

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 10/04/2014

    @rochyroch That's somewhat debatable. Yes, it looks splendid and has literally hundreds of zombies in it, but it runs dreadfully and is far too PvP focused by virtue of the fact the islands are brimming with guns and ammunition. Breaking Point is also not without some serious problems. The melee combat.... yeah. The constant updating every time you log in. The myriad bugs etc.

    People are being unbelievably harsh on DayZ. Yes, they chose to update an old creaky engine rather than use the Arma 3 engine (I still can't fathom why), and yes, it is riddled with bugs, but until recently the number of people working on it was no higher than about 25. That's not a lot of people when you consider the vast number of issues that need fixing, and then the knock-on effect of those issues being fixed. They've been testing proper mouse controls (as opposed to the awful accelerated nonsense we're all suffering with at the moment) and as great as that will obviously be when it goes live, it will fundamentally change the way we play the game. Without wanting to sound too much like Glados or Wheatley, these things need testing.

    And not to keep saying the same old thing, but if people bought a game the creator of which specifically told them not to and then they complain about it not being finished, then frankly they're idiots.

    Anyway, this isn't a DayZ article so I'm going to shut up.
    Reply +1
  • Performance analysis: Titanfall on Xbox 360

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 09/04/2014

    Am I the only one who doesn't give a shit about visuals when it comes to competitive FPSs? The game is so fast (and so good) that you almost never have time to just stop and absorb it all. Higher resolutions are a nice bonus (which is why I switched to PC three years ago, as well as wanting K&M control), but what no one seems to have mentioned is that Titanfall actually has some beautiful art direction, something which extra polygons, higher resolutions and fancy shading effects can never give you.

    If you bought Titanfall on XO, fuck all the haters and enjoy it, because it's a great game which is what matters most, and also visually, it is clearly a step up from the 360 version. Anyone who says otherwise is just a troll looking for easy internet points.

    The fact of the matter is, regardless of what you think of the game's graphics, Microsoft have a killer app exclusive to three platforms (or at least I thought they did, EA have been very quiet about sales figures) and if you have a chance to play this game on any of them, do so because it's great fun. Isn't that why we play games in the first place?
    Reply -1
  • AMD Radeon R9 295X2 review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 08/04/2014

    This is an insane card. I love the fact that this shit even gets made. Fair play to AMD for the cooling solution too. A great review, Richard. It's also a very good indicator as to where we are in terms of achieving 4k60... still a fair old distance away. The thought of playing BF4 and Crysis 3 at that resolution and with consistent framerates is absolutely mouthwatering. Reply +14
  • Titanfall Xbox 360 footage arrives online

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/04/2014

    Reply -2
  • What's next for Eve Valkyrie?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/04/2014


    Is it impossible to play without the silly VR gear?
    I assume you haven't used the Rift then, judging by that stunningly ignorant comment. Use it and then come back and tell us all how silly it is.
    Reply +3
  • Watch The Simpsons' Minecraft-themed intro

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/04/2014

    Given that this is Notch we're talking about, he'll probably announce that a show made by a company owned by Rupert Murdoch creeps him out so he'll ban it to ensure that children can't enjoy it ever again. Reply -4
  • Watch Dogs PC recommended specs are pretty tasty

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 07/04/2014

    @JohnnyBNL As opposed to, until this last generation, upgrading your console every five years? Reply 0
  • Battlefield 4's biggest Easter egg discovered

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 04/04/2014

    @George-Roper It is, but news more worthy of being posted on Reddit than Eurogamer. Also, the Hainan Resort easter egg is better. Reply -24
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 04/04/2014

    Er...brilliant? Reply +9
  • Titanfall on Xbox 360 will run at over 30fps

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 04/04/2014

    An absolutely amazing game. The 30fps is disappointing but entirely understandable given the age of the hardware. However, the game is such incredible fun I would recommend it to all 360 owners who are looking for a fresh multiplayer experience. It really is that good. Reply 0
  • Video: Let's Play Surgeon Simulator on iPad

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 03/04/2014

    Needs more goats. Reply -1
  • Looks like the Metro games are coming to PS4 and Xbox One

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 31/03/2014

    I look forward to the Digital Foundry analysis of these games. 2033 should be interesting for the sole reason that the PC version was an unoptimised mess, so it'll be fascinating to see what - if any - improvements are made for the PS4 and XO versions.

    And as for Last Light, well, it's probably the most beautiful game currently available so how the consoles will handle it (and at what framerate) should give us a real indicator as to their comparative grunt.
    Reply +7
  • Goat Simulator review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 31/03/2014

    I look forward to the sequel where you play as a hard hitting, no bullshit goat cop, dishing out pain to the other animals who have chosen the way of the criminal...

    Billy Goat's Gruff Justice.
    Reply +4
  • EA's Origin ditches physical discs

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 31/03/2014

    Three things EA need to change about Origin for it to be superior to Steam:

    1) Lower their prices. They're beyond insulting.
    2) Change the UI. It's awful.
    3) Publish other people's games as well as their own.

    As an actual service i.e. downloading titles and patches, it's leaps and bounds better than Steam. Although I will admit, I'm fortunate to have fibre optic internet. I was able to download Titanfall in 45 minutes. Steam has never given me speeds anywhere near as fast.

    Still prefer Steam though.
    Reply +1
  • Oculus Rift's John Carmack reckons Facebook "get the Big Picture"

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 31/03/2014

    @SuperSoupy Great comment. +1 to you Sir. Reply +1
  • Infinity Ward teases Predator DLC for Call of Duty: Ghosts

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 31/03/2014

    You're one ugly motherfucker....

    ... I mean really, that graphics engine is utter shit isn't it?
    Reply +1
  • Who is DayZ creator Dean Hall?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 29/03/2014

    What a brilliant article, Robert. Thank you. Refreshing to see a developer who, it would seem, was so unexpectedly thrust into the gaming limelight and be so candid about not only the effect it's had on his work but him too. He's had a fascinating life that's for sure.

    Hall and his team deserve all the plaudits in the world for DayZ. It's a magnificent game with the potential to be something huge if/when all the planned features are added. If you played the Battlefield 4 alpha, you'll know how terrible and buggy alphas can truly be.
    Reply +11
  • In Theory: Could The Last of Us on PS4 run at 1080p60?

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 29/03/2014

    @Nikanoru No you're not alone in feeling that way. I feel the same about the HD remaster of Shadow Of The Colossus and, although not quite the same thing, every version of Resident Evil 4 that followed the GameCube original. There's something to be said for games played on the original host hardware. They hit those mysterious gameplay/fun spots that HD remasters and ports simply cannot reach. Reply 0
  • Notch: cancelled Minecraft for Oculus Rift would have been free

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/03/2014

    @grassyknoll Er... how? I've never played Minecraft and have based what I wrote on friends' testimonies whose children play it. I fail to see how being aware of the fact Minecraft is also used in schools, has helped autistic children to express themselves in ways their parents never thought possible, and merely expressing disappointment at Notch's decision to deprive them of another way of immersing themselves in that is in any way hypocritical. This has fuck all to do with me.

    And to accuse me of being incoherent when your grasp of grammar is sorely lacking is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
    Reply -4
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/03/2014

    @Avaloner Fantastic post, mate. Common sense is most welcome here. +1 Reply -1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/03/2014

    Notch is a twat, and one who has no doubt disappointed many children (as well as their parents) with this incredibly petty attitude of his. As I've said before, Minecraft was a life-changing game for many children, and has played a massive part in their education. To then say, "Nope, because I don't like Facebook, you now can't have a VR version of Minecraft, which would have been free anyway" just proves him to be an utter knob with the emotional maturity and intelligence of a used teabag.

    The fact is, Notch is letting his principles (if you can even call them that) get in the way of actually making a difference and changing things for the better. He has based this stupid decision on assumptions and conjecture, whilst not knowing any details of the deal, and doing the usual fanboy thing of bashing a company whom it's fashionable to bash, whether it's EA, Microsoft or Facebook.

    Most gamers (and it would seem people who help make them) seem to think they're owed something, an attitude that seems almost unique to the medium. It is this attitude that shows why the rest of the world doesn't take this medium seriously, what with the majority losing their shit at a business acquisition that will change nothing, other than the fact more people will now get to use VR. And at a lower price point. Tell me, what's wrong with that?
    Reply -3
  • DayZ sales figures, new studio acquisition revealed

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/03/2014

    @SaintDaveUK It doesn't help that the article doesn't mention it by name, as it does read as if the mod was sold when it wasn't. It should say, "...the game has now shifted more than 2m copies of the game's original Arma 2 expansion 'Operation Arrowhead.'"

    Oh well, we both know what it meant anyway! :D
    Reply -1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/03/2014

    @SaintDaveUK The original DayZ was a mod of the Arma 2 expansion 'Operation Arrowhead'. Reply -2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 28/03/2014

    Correction: it's the Arma 2 mod that DayZ's sold 2m copies of, not Arma 3. Reply -1
  • Uncharted 4 director Justin Richmond leaves Naughty Dog for Riot Games

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 27/03/2014

    This is very odd. With Hennig's departure a month ago, three other Sony studios being downsized and now this...

    *X-Files music*
    Reply +6
  • CCP to stick with Oculus Rift for Eve: Valkyrie

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @frunk That fills me with much joy. Kudos to Sony and NASA. Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @darth_paul No, the company was already founded. You are not allowed to use Kickstarter to start up a company. Those are the rules. The Kickstarter campaign for the Rift was for people (mainly devs that might have been interested as well as hobbyists) to donate money towards development of an early prototype - which turned out to be the Dev Kit 1 - which would then be delivered to the donors.

    *Every single unit was delivered as promised to those who donated the requisite sum.*

    There appears to be this assumption that because someone donated to this campaign that he/she has some sort of say in how Oculus operates. Well, they don't. It is completely separate to the original campaign to raise funds. Nobody who donated has suddenly become a shareholder. It would appear the majority of the gaming community are utterly oblivious to this fact.
    Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @darth_paul How would you have felt cheated? If you'd pledged you would have received your DK1, as Oculus promised. No one has cheated anyone else out of anything.

    It seems people are only angry because a fantastic peripheral that happens to add extra immersion to gaming - a once niche, hobbyist past time - as well as being used in other wonderful manners, is now associated with a cultural behemoth (yes, their association with PRISM and GCHQ isn't great) that is looking beyond gaming for other ways of implementing VR.

    I simply fail to see what is wrong with this. How as anyone been betrayed? The rhetoric being used by gamers the world over is so dramatic and knee jerk.
    Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @Ext Well then, enlighten me. What are people raging about? Reply -2
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @Silverflash I understand that, but the fact gamers see the Rift as something only they should enjoy is staggeringly narrow-minded and selfish. All technology that benefits us is owned by one corporation or another. That's just how it is. And if Oculus had stayed independent, it would only have been a matter of time before they too became another gigantic corp to be the butt of everyone's hatred. Just ask George Lucas.

    Zuckerberg knows that social networking has pretty much reached its zenith, so like Google are doing with their driverless cars (and funnily enough no one seems bothered by that), they are moving into other markets. That is simple business. Nothing sinister, just business. I would bet my left bollock that Microsoft, Apple, Google etc. are secretly kicking themselves for not making the same move before Facebook did.

    And most importantly, why shouldn't medical science reap the benefits of what this tech offers? Eventually a NASA rover of some kind will map the Moon, or Mars, and we'll be able to explore them and maybe, just maybe, we could learn something from it. Or should this fabulous piece of technology only be used for plonking us in a battleship in Star Citizen, Elite Dangerous or EVE Valkyrie? This acquisition leads to so many exciting possibilities that gamers are forgetting that there is more to VR than just immersion in computer games. The potential educational benefits far outweigh the benefits gamers will gain from it. It's why Notch cancelling Minecraft for the Rift makes him look like such a massive twat. His game has changed children's lives, and to deny them the opportunity of taking their education to a new level because Facebook "creeps me out" is so utterly childish and moronic.

    If I appear judgemental, it's because 99% of the internet is raging about a deal that none of us were party to. People seem to think that Zuckerberg just rocked up to Palmer Luckey's house with $400m parked in a van outside and that Luckey didn't negotiate terms of the deal before agreeing the sale. Instead, everyone has assumed that ads are going to pollute every game released for it because Luckey obviously thought "Fuck it, that's a lot of money!", which is clearly nonsense.

    I love games and I love technology when it's deployed properly in a way that benefits society, and Oculus Rift is one of those pieces of hardware I have incredibly high hopes for. Gamers it seems are thinking exclusively about the former, whilst being incredibly ignorant towards the latter. To think that this was only going to be used for gaming is naive and I really hope Sony make Morpheus compatible with PCs in order to drive competition and innovation. This is an exciting time. When Sony announced Morpheus, it helped lend VR credibility in the gaming space. Now that a company as huge as Facebook have got involved, VR is now absolutely viable. Bring it on.
    Reply +9
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @DanSmith09 How exactly? The Kickstarter campaign for OR was quite successful so I hear... Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    Now watch as this comments thread devolves into yet more ignorant, fanboy-raging bluster wank. Getting outraged that a company has invested in a piece of tech that is, let's face it - the future - is just another way of making yourself look a fucking tool.

    And as @Wrathbone says, if someone offered you $2bn are you going to say no? Exactly, now pipe down or piss off.
    Reply -2
  • Arma 3 review

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    An excellent game. The multiplayer in particular is sublime. Reply 0
  • Facebook buys Oculus VR for $2 billion

  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014


    I don't see why indies can't still Dev for it.
    Exactly, because it's not as if Sony, that massive Japanese corporation, have any indie developers making games for their console... wait, hang on...
    Reply +7
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @DrStrangelove I'm pretty sure VR has been around since the early '90s. Reply +1
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @DrStrangelove People were pledging to support the product, and the promises to those who pledged have been fulfilled by Oculus VR - they got their devkits. They weren't getting a stake in the company. Reply +4
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @Dizzy Point. Reply -3
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 26/03/2014

    @SpaceMonkey77 No, I think you possibly misunderstood my response. The company Oculus, was not formed from Kickstarter donations (mainly because that's not allowed). The product - 'Rift' - was. I fail to see how a company, one that makes a fantastic product people were happy to pledge towards, being bought out by a bigger company screws over those who donated.

    I've asked others in this thread for evidence to suggest that this is as dreadful an announcement as people seem to think it is. I'm yet to see any.
    Reply +1