TheComedian Comments

Page 1 of 2

  • Fresh BioShock Infinite screenshots

  • TheComedian 24/05/2011

    For anyone interested, Comstock is probably a representation of Anthony Comstock - a prominent political presence in late-19th century America.

    He's remembered mostly for having fairly hysterical, neo-Victorian, Puritan-esque views of lewdity and moral standards in the arts. One of the acts which he pressed through the American system made it a criminal offence to circulate through the postal service anything he deemed to be 'immoral' in character.

    Mostly, people see him as a throw-back to ultra-conservative America and a good reference point against which the Bohemian and Modernist movement can be seen as rebellious.

    /history lesson
    Reply +6
  • Ubi shows Rayman Origins, Project Dust

  • TheComedian 15/06/2010

    Very peeved they didn't show us BG&E2, although I'm pretty certain it's cancelled by now.

    Dust sounds like a cool concept.

    Rayman actually made me chuckle, a first for a game trailer; they tend to miss the humour mark considerably. The style looks awesome as well. Instabuy.
    Reply +2
  • Bodycount E3 trailer

  • TheComedian 14/06/2010

    I love Holy F***, but that's the last thing anyone's gonna say when they see this game. I hate acerbic, jaded gamers as much as anyone, but we need a new direction for the genre - it's getting sickeningly boring. Reply 0
  • Alan Wake

  • TheComedian 09/05/2010

    They're out there.

    I think I may have misrepresented my point a little towards the end. This review doesn't read like an experienced gamer with knowledge and interest of the genre giving their impartial thoughts on the game in respect of current releases, technology and gameplay conventions. Obviously a personal element is needed to give the review any personality, but when personality is used at expense of review, then there's a problem.
    Reply -1
  • TheComedian 09/05/2010

    One last thing, to close the thread.

    Can people shutup with all this 'it's just someone's opinion' bull? It's not, the reviewer is a paid professional chosen because of a portfolio of different articles and a (supposedly) deep knowledge of the source marerial and its canon. The reviewer should have more than just a 'personal opinion', it should be based on their knowledge of the genre, current releases, technology, gameplay in comparison to the rest of the systems library etc.

    That Ellie seems to miss the point quite a lot in this review, contradicting herself on numerous points and showing a 'high-and-mighty' approach to the genre, seems to suggest that, yes, THIS is personal opinion. Not what journalism should be about.

    I like Ellie when she's reviewing silly games I don't care for, her writing has always been style over substance (no offense, this can be a really good thing sometimes) with an emphasis on humour compared to actual reviewing. She conducts a mean interview. She can't review proper games like this very well. Sorry.

    EG, your credibility is going down the pan. I'm a loyal viewer and have been for some years now, but your schizophrenic coverage has driven me to consult some other game sites - all of which consider you to be a bit of an elitist joke, sadly.

    You still get props in my book for giving Deus Ex a 10/10 though.
    Reply -3
  • TheComedian 05/05/2010

    I dredged my old account out of its ancient moorings just to reply to this review. I've not played the game at all, so can't have any opinion on it, or the overall score given to it. However, this is by a long way the worst review I have EVER read on Eurogamer. Typical Ellie, she tries her darndest to find a joke where there isn't one, resulting in her inimitable hit-and-miss style with little revelation on the game. Awful. Why couldn't EG get a high-profile review like Kieron or Kriston to tackle this; one of the biggest releases of the year? Reply -13
  • Spec Ops: The Line

  • TheComedian 05/01/2010

    Whilst a politically contentious thread is apparent in the storyline, Yager promises that Spec Ops. is a story about soldiers, not politics.

    How is that possibly a good thing?

    No-one has any balls nowadays.
    Reply +1
  • Games of 2009: Eurogamer Office Picks

  • TheComedian 30/12/2009

    I'm being genuine btw, it looks incredibly interesting.

    p.s. - the rest of the list is a good idea and well executed.
    Reply 0
  • TheComedian 30/12/2009

    Well, there goes any credibility to the final score for Heavy Rain.

    Shame, I would have loved an unbiased review not dripping with hype.
    Reply -9
  • New details of PS3 magic wand emerge

  • TheComedian 09/12/2009

    I'm personally not excited about this. It's a much safer bet than Natal, for sure, but it seems to just be jumping on the Wii bandwagon. Natal has much much more potential to suck ass, but also far more potential to be the definitive motion-sensing controller.

    I suppose either way, it will fully depend on software as to whether these controls are going to be worhtless or not.
    Reply +5
  • New Star Wars game to be announced?

  • TheComedian 30/11/2009

    Anything where Han Solo is the MAIN CHARACTER. Please. No-one really cares about anything else. Reply 0
  • Retrospective: The Operative: No One Lives Forever

  • TheComedian 23/11/2009

    NOLF beasted its sequel in everyway. Seriously amazing game, in my top 5 of all time, certainly. Reply +1
  • Tropico 3

  • TheComedian 13/11/2009

    If my computer wasn't a pile of w*nk, I'd be all over this. Reply +3
  • Retrospective: Call of Duty

  • TheComedian 08/11/2009

    The MW games are great fun, but the original ones were an amazing experience.

    Who can forget defending Pegasus Bridge? The orchestral swells, the dying comrades, the stirring speech at the end.

    After the battle of Stalingrad, when we reached the top of the capital, I fired my gun into the air and shouted - at nothing. Ridculously sad, I know, but that moment moved me more than any other moment in a game, aside from when I had to leave Paul in Deus Ex.

    Great stuff - screw it, I'm gonna crank it out now. Telling, perhaps, that I've played it at least 10 times, and I don't tend to go through games again.

    p.s. - super article.
    Reply 0
  • Dragon Age: Origins

  • TheComedian 03/11/2009

    was anyone else massively surprised about the 8 after that massive bitch fest? something tells me the reviewer didn't have the balls to give it a 7. Reply -1
  • Heavy Rain special presentation

  • TheComedian 31/10/2009

    Not sure about this, I want to think it's going to be the best thing ever, but unless it has an amazing script, it can't possibly work. I still don't get all the QTEs, surely it's far more engaging for someone to actually control the actions. Reply 0
  • Heavy Rain

  • TheComedian 28/08/2009

    Pretty much the only reason I would consider buying a PS3. But christ, is it a good reason. This has got me seriously tempted.

    Fahrenheit was very over-rated, imo, but this looks like it could be the real deal. The only problem is that, for me, this game will be made by its dialogue - and David Cage isn't a very convincing writer. I know he's got his heart in the right place, but perhaps he should seek more external help for his scripts.
    Reply -1
  • Epic's Mark Rein

  • TheComedian 22/07/2009

    Mildly entertaining read, but the last 3 pages just turned into Ellie wanking over her sense of humour. One or two 'heh' moments, but if I wanted comedy and little to do with games, I'd just go on one of the many humour websites on the web. Reply -11
  • Darkfall Online

  • TheComedian 17/07/2009

    One of the best reviews I've ever read on this (or any) site.

    Super super stuff by my fave reviewer :D

    Keep it up Kieron.
    Reply +12
  • Retrospective: Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines

  • TheComedian 05/07/2009

    Just got a copy of this on ebay!

    Can't wait :D:D:D
    Reply 0
  • TheComedian 05/07/2009

    Does anyone know where I can get my hands on a physical copy of this? I don't like just downloading games. Reply 0
  • TheComedian 05/07/2009

    Sold. I heard a lot about this when it came out, but my computer was a pile of wank and it slipped me by.

    The comparisons to Deus Ex (my fave game of all time by quite a wide margin) have prompted me to get this tomorrow morning! I don't mind the niggles and flaws; DE had some of the worst AI I've ever seen, some horrific bugs, but the overall experience was magical and the closest to a good book or great film I've had.
    Reply +3
  • MS: Natal will work with "all ethnicities"

  • TheComedian 10/06/2009

    This is embarrassing for EG.

    That was clearly a joke.
    Reply 0
  • Prototype

  • TheComedian 10/06/2009

    Eh? That's the most bizarre review score considering the content of the review. Probs didn't want a PS3 fanboy flame war over giving inFamous a 7. Ah well, going off just the review, I'd say this is a purchase for me. Reply -4
  • Natal will reinvent games industry - Kim

  • TheComedian 10/06/2009

    I wish the Sony fanboys would just grow up.

    I'm not sure if this will reinvent the games industry, but I'll definately be getting one! I think, if used correctly, this could have some superb applications in games and with the xbox functionality.

    Personally, I can't wait for it.

    Also, for those claiming it's a rip off of the Wii, I think you'd be better served looking up the PS3 wands.
    Reply 0
  • Balding Max Payne 3 sighted

  • TheComedian 10/06/2009

    p.s. - seems like next year is going to be an insane year for gaming... Reply 0
  • TheComedian 10/06/2009

    Can't wait for this; the first two are in my top ten fave games of all time :D Reply 0
  • Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

  • TheComedian 10/06/2009

    Good preview, Rob. Reply 0
  • Eurogamer's Best of E3 2009

  • TheComedian 09/06/2009

    I'm not too impressed with this list of games. I also agree that Natal should be tech of the show, with specific reference to Milo as an example of its capabilities.

    What's happened to APB btw? Is it still an XB exclusive? I remember it was listed as the number one action game to look forward to this year, but I've heard NOTHING of it.

    I totally agree with Oli, the SW trailer is unbelievable, and by far the best thing to come out of the canon in a while.

    Did anyone else think SC: Conviction looked amazing? Uncharted 2 makes me wish I was a PS3 owner :P That would probs be my game of the show.

    Also, I missed all the coverage of Scribblenauts this year, has anyone got any links to a good article? Cheers
    Reply 0
  • E3: ModNation Racers

  • TheComedian 05/06/2009

    Does anyone give a crap about these types of games? And has everyone forgotten about Trackmania ffs? Reply 0
  • E3: Post-Natal Discussion

  • TheComedian 05/06/2009

    I think, tbh, Burnout is a really bad example. The cool thing about Natal, and the point that all the positive people ar ejumping on, is that it allows game developers to think of a new control set for a whole new range of game mechanics. If game developers really take advantage of this and get inventive, rather than copy and paste existing templates on top, it could be awesome - but there is a MASSIVE danger that they're going to go all 3rd party wii on us.

    As Speilberg said, it's not about reinventing the wheel, it's about not having a wheel at all. Meh, perhaps that's why they played Burnout without a wheel. Trying to be symbolic :P
    Reply 0
  • E3: Microsoft's John Schappert

  • TheComedian 05/06/2009

    Two additional points: I'd rather have Netflix than Sky ANY DAY. Secondly, the only thing people want to know from Microsoft atm is how much Natal will be, and a rough idea of when it'll be out. Reply 0
  • TheComedian 05/06/2009

    Yes! Torres!!

    We're gonna win the title next year, just you wait :P
    Reply 0
  • E3: Borderlands

  • TheComedian 05/06/2009

    I agree, I much prefer the new look, but I don't think I can be bothered with insane fast-paced gameplay. I like to be tactical in my approach to situations. Reply 0
  • E3: Alan Wake

  • TheComedian 03/06/2009

    Not sure what the 'old' direction was, mate.

    It seems a bit to RE5 for my tastes though... I got my hopes up for this one to be some kind of Twin Peaks-esque experience. I'm still fairly optimistic about it though.

    Uncharted 2 is still looking like the most promising game coming out of this E3 (and this is from the mouth of a 360 owner).
    Reply 0
  • Sony E3 Conference

  • TheComedian 02/06/2009


    Sony's big reveal: a glowing dildo you can plug into a camera.
    Reply 0
  • E3: Crackdown 2 and Left 4 Dead 2

  • TheComedian 01/06/2009

    The Splinter Cell: Conviction footage sounds crap. Where's all the improvised combat stuff? Crowd mechanics? Perhaps I'm jumping the gun.

    Sounds like an awesome conference though.
    Reply 0
  • Heavy Rain

  • TheComedian 22/05/2009


    People like you really piss me off. Why the hell would anyone be looking at a hands-on preview of a game, without the intent of prejudging it/getting to know more about it before retail? There would be virtually NO point to this kind of article if everyone just waited until 'the game is finished and on shelves' - this is to whip up excitment, encourage discussion and speculation, to 'analyse' what we know so far.

    Grow up.

    p.s. - this game makes me want to get a PS3 :( Although, people said the dialogue in Fahrenheit was amazing, and that was a stilted mess.
    Reply 0
  • Velvet Assassin

  • TheComedian 08/05/2009

    'Violette appears to have attended the same finishing school as Lara Croft; she talks with the same plum in her mouth and wears outfits designed to make you want to put your plums in her mouth.'

    That is pure genious.

    The best thing EG has ever done. One of the few times I've lol'd at my computer screen.
    Reply -1
  • The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

  • TheComedian 21/04/2009

    Crofto: A fair-enough review, shame you didn't have the balls to rate Killzone appropriately too my friend.

    I could not agree more.
    Reply 0
  • BioShock 2

  • TheComedian 21/04/2009

    I know this has been said many, many times before; but they should have done a prequel :(

    The ONLY thing that could have supplemented Bioshock's philosophical and narrative canon is by seeing the initial demise of rapture at the hand of those turning into monsters and changing their environment to reflect their inner torment.

    Would have been awesome - the player could have been the last decent man trying to escape to a sub. I honestly can't see why they skipped over this opportunity.
    Reply 0
  • TheComedian 21/04/2009

    spekkah: After stealing and raping Rand's philosophy, I surmise that the next game will probably revolve around freeing Plato from his cave. And then they'll get lots of awards and pats on their backs for yet another philosophical masterpiece in gaming. Oh well, at least they're trying.

    By quite some way the best comment I have ever seen on EG.
    Reply 0
  • TheComedian 20/04/2009

    "The kind of levels that we want to put you in are more about the old Warren Spector/Looking Glass dichotomy of problems rather than puzzles,"

    The single only fact that has me somewhat excted about this game. With the guy who designed Fort Frolic and The Cradle (two of the best levels ever) at the helm, it's going to take a lot to make this shit, but I kind of get the feeling it will be anyway.
    Reply 0
  • Retrospective: Mafia

  • TheComedian 19/04/2009

    One of the best games ever made. I can see that only having ever played through three quarters of it. It's a game permanently lodged in the back of my skull, and even though it had massive shortcomings, the experience was unparalled (except for Deus Ex).

    I stopped playing because I couldn't face the utterly wank checkpoint system. I've played up to the Mansion level where you have to sneak around numerous times, but I've always just lost the will to carry on.

    I'd give it a 9/10 though, it affected me like no other game, save for Deus Ex, ever has.
    Reply 0
  • The Path

  • TheComedian 07/04/2009

    Oh yeah, I forgot to say - GREAT review! Reply 0
  • TheComedian 07/04/2009

    BremXJones: '$10. '

    PlugMonkey:' Ł7.50 on Steam'

    is this what the mighty pound has been reduced to? :( I couldn't have chosen a worse time to have a year abroad in America.

    Anyway, I get the feeling I would really enjoy this game, almost certainly gonna buy it.
    Reply 0
  • Retrospective: Duke Nukem 3D

  • TheComedian 05/04/2009

    'This may be leftie Guardian-reading Eurogamer'

    Someone has ben watching too much Who Do You Think You Are? with David Tennant :P

    Completely agree with the article though - good read.
    Reply 0
  • Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed

  • TheComedian 31/03/2009

    'Why is Eurogamer, in conjunction with Volition, promoting pornography to teenagers?'

    Christ, get off your high horse mate.
    Reply 0
  • TheComedian 31/03/2009

    'We're going to expose these assholes'

    The 14 year old in me is in hysterics.

    The 19 year old me is just giggling and feeling a bit ashamed of it.
    Reply 0
  • Wheelman

  • TheComedian 26/03/2009

    There is no way that read ANYTHING like a 5. I was expecting an 8, or a 7 at the least. :S Reply 0