Stoatboy Comments

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  • PaRappa the Rapper spotted on Korean ratings board

  • Stoatboy 03/12/2016

    Always preferred UmJammer Lammy to Pa Rappa, personally. Pa Rappa was more iconic maybe, but Lammy had the tunes.(She was also more likeable.) Reply +2
  • Watch: We made a hoorntooth pie from Final Fantasy 15

  • Stoatboy 01/12/2016

    @emysdk Yeah - I think a vent certainly wouldn't have hurt. I've only made shortcrust myself though.

    Also, I personally don't bother draining tinned beans these days if they're going in something wet. The water they come in is nice and gloopy with beany-ness and it helps to thicken whatever you're making (and it saves faffing about with colanders or losing a few beans as you try and drain them through a small gap between the tin and lid).
    Reply 0
  • The best Cyber Monday deals

  • Stoatboy 28/11/2016

    Mad Max for PC is 3.29 on CDKeys right now. Grabbed it earlier, and it's just finished downloading... Reply +5
  • Watch: We found a recipe in Dishonored 2 and decided to cook it

  • Stoatboy 25/11/2016

    Nice idea. I wouldn't normally watch a video article, but the cooking angle lured me in. A plus point for the decent knife-technique. Reply +1
  • Capcom Vancouver defends Dead Rising 4's "super-polarising" changes

  • Stoatboy 24/11/2016

    @kangarootoo I agree on some levels, but I think the timer WAS the spine of the game. After I wrote my first reply I went for a walk, and the extra time helped a few thoughts crystallise.

    I'd meant to add a point about the need to restart meaning you became more and more familiar with the mall, which became your "turf". Dead Rising is a game where knowing the lay of the land is super-important, and having to retrace your steps helps you learn it intimately. Very few games have that sense of "home turf" (it's something GTA tends to get right in many of its instalments).

    What occurred to me after is that Dead Rising makes you do it not just for space, but time too. You become familiar with the mall over a period of time, and that bundle of space-time is now your turf (if that makes sense).

    That's something rather special. You're essentially playing Groundhog Day, and each replay you're aiming to try to nail the perfect run, building on the experience of all the runs that came before. It doesn't work half as well as a one-shot rinsing affair - you have to have tried and failed again and again to build up the knowledge to finally succeed.
    Reply +1
  • Stoatboy 24/11/2016

    @kangarootoo I do. The timer forced you to make difficult (and therefore interesting) decisions. And as Sid Meier says - a game is a series of interesting decisions.

    With no timer you're free to just hoover up whatever the game has laid out for you at leisure. There's no jeopardy, bar the second-to-second fight to stay alive. If you can just survive you'll see everything. No planning required, no forethought - you can just brute-force your way through the game until it's done, then move on to the same cookie cutter experience in the next game you play.

    With a timer you have to set goals for what you want to achieve this run, and adapt as the situation changes. If you fail, you move on to the next thing, but now you probably have a bigger urge to do it next time. And when you finally crack it, it'll be far more rewarding for the planning it took to get there, than just doing it because it was the next mission that needed checking off the list.
    Reply +3
  • Outlast 2 dev launches Kickstarter for "companion diaper", really

  • Stoatboy 23/11/2016

    I'd imagine this is probably entirely sincere and not just a gimmicky way to achieve easy press coverage for the new game. Reply +9
  • Black Friday deals for Saturday 19th November

  • Stoatboy 19/11/2016

    "Black Friday deals for Saturday..."

    I don't blame Eurogamer for reporting this, but seriously this is very much part of the problem. If you're going to call an event Black Friday it should probably fall on actual Black Fucking Friday, not the Saturday before it, and then everyday afterwards.

    It'll start in September soon at this rate, like Christmas. Then the Black Friday advent calendars will appear - starting in bastard July if these fuckers have their way...
    Reply +18
  • Harvest Moon successor Birthdays the Beginning dated for March

  • Stoatboy 16/11/2016

    On a basic level it looks like the Bio deck from Startopia (which was perhaps the least good bit from a brilliant game). Reply 0
  • FIFA 17 player takes trolling to the next level

  • Stoatboy 09/11/2016

    Sounds like real football - players acting cynically to gain an advantage over the opposition.

    "Whatever happened to the beautiful game?" It's still here. It's called cricket.
    Reply +2
  • Some guy visited a typewriter museum and some other guys made a game about keyboards

  • Stoatboy 28/10/2016

    That twitter thread is fantastic. I'm not a typewriter fan particularly, but love a nice bit of machinery/engineering, and there's some lovely stuff in there. Thanks for the heads-up. Reply +1
  • Armature's space MOBA/shooter Dead Star is being shuttered seven months after release

  • Stoatboy 20/10/2016

    @grassyknoll: I'm getting negged for observing that the English language has had the word "shuttered" for bloody ages.

    It's had the word "negged" for about 20 minutes however, but apparently that's OK...
    Reply +4
  • Stoatboy 19/10/2016

    @The_Lopper: Shuttered is in my Chambers English dictionary. It means "closed with shutters". We've had shutters for bastard ages... Reply +1
  • New Dishonored 2 trailer shows us just how creative killing can get

  • Stoatboy 21/09/2016

    One of the problems with the first game for me was that the stealth was nowhere near as much fun as the killing, and since a lot of the powers and collectibles dealt noisy murder you spent the game gathering a massive arsenal of fun toys that was largely useless to you - which I found kinda frustrating. I absolutely love stealth games normally, but I felt it was patchy in Dishonored - occasionally very good, but frequently annoying, frustrating or downright tedious. As an action game it was pretty good though. Reply +2
  • Watch: Games nearly ruined by one terrible level

  • Stoatboy 04/09/2016

    @mostro The warthog level from Halo is bloody awful. I know some people stick up for it, but having a last level that requires you to be pretty bloody good at something that up until then had been non-critical and controlled so poorly you probably enjoyed being shit at it rather than trying to get better at it - was an awful decision. If I needed to be good at it, the game should have required me to be good at it before this point.

    Couple that with a story that asks you to stop and wait for a dropship very early on - on a time-critical mission - which then goes and crashes, so you waste time waiting for something that will never arrive.

    And then when you replay the mission because you failed the first time the story tells you to wait for the dropship you know won't survive, so even the story gets trashed as you ignore it and speed on without waiting for the scripted cutscene to kick in and kill it.

    And then the physics screws up and kills you for the umpteenth time, and you end up playing the game out of sheer-bloody mindedness rather than because you're enjoying it, and wondering why you need to be good at an awful driving game to finish the first person shooter you bought.
    Reply +6
  • The THQ name lives again as Nordic Games rebrands

  • Stoatboy 12/08/2016

    Because the world needs uDraw 2! Reply 0
  • No Man's Sky has a game-breaking exploit which is letting users farm rarest items

  • Stoatboy 11/08/2016

    @tomphillipsEG As a game developer of over 20 years I'd only call a bug "game-breaking" if it could prevent progress in a game. That's a class A, must-fix issue.

    This clearly isn't one of them. It's just a bug that can be used as an exploit - a pretty glaring one admittedly, and one that will have devastated the developers (but really should have been found for such a major release (seriously - allowing a blatant save-abuse bug through? Have stern words with the QA department - that's pretty basic stuff...))
    Reply +4
  • Salt and Sanctuary dev pleads people calm down over delayed Vita port

  • Stoatboy 03/08/2016

    @Avaloner Have a neg. (I'm just communicating with you in the way a comments thread affords).

    Seriously though - no! You're basically defending people acting like utter twats.

    You'd rather the victims of twattish behaviour found ways to deal with it, than stop the twats from being such hateful human beings?
    Reply +36
  • Watch: Starting a new game in Civilization 6

  • Stoatboy 03/08/2016

    @SuperDannyG Strange, I don't remember Beyond Earth having hermits in it.

    Or did you mean aesthetics, rather than ascetics?
    Reply +5
  • Dead Rising series remasters reveal first screenshots

  • Stoatboy 25/07/2016

    @carmagainagain Um - these probably are being made instead of something else. Capcom will only want a limited number of projects on the go at any one time, and if this is one of them, then something else isn't. That's how publishers work.

    If they weren't funding this they wouldn't be just sitting watching the money it's costing idling in the bank for a couple of years - they'd have been investing it in something else instead.
    Reply -1
  • Heroes of the Storm troll threatens Blizzard with violence and now faces jail time

  • Stoatboy 24/07/2016

    @MaHi Except of course I never criticised the American style at all, and also never suggested any ignorance on their behalf. I'm fine with it, tbh.

    I just pointed out the difference. and suggested that therefore the "[sic]" (which is there to highlight when a mistake has been left in by the editor) probably isn't necessary, because it isn't in fact a mistake.

    So I was defending the American style, by suggesting that it was correct. (Actually I think it's probably fine to use the singular in the UK too anyway - we just tend not to.)
    Reply +3
  • Stoatboy 23/07/2016

    ' he wrote. "I live in California and your headquarters is [sic] here in California...'

    I'm not sure that "[sic]" is necessary. Headquarters being singular would be par for the course for America, where bands and sports teams and companies are all dealt with as singular. So what he said is fine for an American, and since you're quoting one it probably shouldn't be treated as a mistake. I'm not an editor mind...
    Reply +6
  • Watch: Six terrible games from awesome developers

  • Stoatboy 14/07/2016

    The original Tron arcade game is actually pretty decent, so it'll probably beat Ricochet hands-down itself.

    But best Tron-inspired game is almost certainly the magnificent PC multiplayer light-cycles game Armagetron Advanced. We used to play it with a gentlemen's no-braking agreement, because it was much more fun that way. If we were feeling properly daft we'd play it first person too.

    Edit: Not the best video since they don't have instant death on impacts, but it'll give you the idea...

    Reply +4
  • The Swindle dev reveals first footage of football game Behold the Kickmen

  • Stoatboy 13/07/2016

    @Badoink Which definition of "edgy" do you think it's trying to be that deserves a FULL CAPS pissy comment?

    Because to me it just looks like a silly idea for what should be a fun little game.

    Edgy? Really?
    Reply +11
  • The composer of the Civilization 4 theme returns for Civilization 6

  • Stoatboy 11/07/2016

    That Civ 4 intro - goosebumps, every time. Reply +7
  • The one and Leone: What made Red Dead Redemption so special?

  • Stoatboy 10/07/2016

    "But perhaps the best answer to why Marston had to die is given by the McCarthy quote that I will finally roll out now, thank you - because if you weren't thinking of McCarthy the whole time you were playing Red Dead then you were playing it wrong..."

    I've never read any Cormac McCarthy. I didn't realise it was part of the Minimum System Requirements for the game.

    Nice article, but that bit could have been phrased better. It's a good quote and all, but you know - I loved the game without ever having heard it before.
    Reply +2
  • Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival review

  • Stoatboy 28/06/2016

    Bonus points for a Jossy's Giants reference in the review:
    Reply +1
  • The recently revealed original Xbox controller prototypes keep up a fine tradition of absurdity

  • Stoatboy 28/06/2016

    I also loved the Duke controller (and I have fairly small hands for a bloke). It just felt right, with a nice bit of weight to it. I actually managed to break mine. I got so furious with myself after drunkenly fluffing an approach shot in Links for about the dozenth time that I flung the controller across the room (that nice long cable made it quite a good thrower). It hit the hardest thing possible - my dumbells - and something broke killing it (physically it was fine - more chance of breaking the dumbells, probably). Reply +1
  • Valve backs Star Wars Battlefront 3 fan remake for Steam release

  • Stoatboy 06/06/2016

    @IronSoldier IP rights are really fucking simple. It doesn't take umpteen years of university to comprehend - anyone involved in a creative endeavour should look into them to see where they stand.

    On a very basic level, trademark is names, patent is ideas, and copyright is implementation.

    This infringes copyright massively and probably trademark too. You don't need an actual lawyer to tell you that. Just someone who knows the first fucking thing about it. Which I'm guessing you don't. Feel free to keep posting images though.
    Reply -1
  • Stoatboy 06/06/2016

    @I_Am_CatButler : No. Copyright covers the names, the imagery, the sound effects etc - all the stuff that makes Star Wars what it is. It doesn't matter if you build assets from scratch - if they look and sound like Star Wars stuff then that breaches copyright. Reply -1
  • Yooka-Laylee is shaping up nicely, despite a delay until next year

  • Stoatboy 06/06/2016

    The lighting in that first level is as grey as hell. Seriously - whack a little yellow in that and it will look about six times nicer. Reply 0
  • Minecraft sales pass the astonishing 100m milestone

  • Stoatboy 02/06/2016

    @SpaceMonkey77 For some people it's about creativity, for others not so much. I love the game, but I make my own games, I write and I draw - so it's not like I'm short of creative outlets. It's actually just a lovely place to bimble about in, building houses and roads, growing crops, slowly improving your own little world. Reply +3
  • Paradox, this is why we need to talk about your mods

  • Stoatboy 01/06/2016

    Valve are the ones who should be policing this stuff - it's their store.

    You can't hold an art supplies shop responsible for what people do with the paint it sells. You can hold an art gallery responsible for what pictures it decides to exhibit.
    Reply +2
  • Doom's soundtrack contains satanic Easter eggs

  • Stoatboy 31/05/2016

    @Kasual7 Perhaps people are cool with demonic/satanic stuff because nobody believes in that hokey shit anymore, and the imagery is cool.

    God things don't even have the cool imagery.

    God/Satan are two sides of the same religious coin. People have stopped believing in the bad fairy because it didn't gain them anything - so that's an open target. Some folk still find comfort in the good fairy, so they tend to object if you point at it and laugh.
    Reply +9
  • Paradox pulls "discriminatory" Stellaris mod that made all humans white

  • Stoatboy 24/05/2016

    @riceNpea I can see why my "putting hats on all non-whites is racism" might be a little hard to accept in a videogame, but if I move it to the real world (this group of people must wear an identifying item) I'm getting very close to Godwin. Reply 0
  • Stoatboy 24/05/2016

    @riceNpea I'm enjoying the discussion. TBH I don't know where I stand on whether the mod should have been pulled or not. I just can't help but see it as racist, but possibly not the biggest issue ever.

    As I say - I think it's the discrimination alone that makes it racist - not the severity of the treatment afterwards.

    If the mod had just put hats on all non-whites that would be racist, just not worth bothering about. If the hats had had "TWAT" written on them it becomes really obviously racist, and definitely worth bothering about. So did it become racist when it became bad,or was it always racist but not worth acting on? What about if it said "MUPPET" instead - that's not too bad, is it?
    Reply +1
  • Stoatboy 24/05/2016

    As an aside I love the fact that whoever did this is fine with a universe full of all manner of bizarre space aliens, but can't bear to share it with members of their own race with different coloured skin. Reply +3
  • Stoatboy 24/05/2016

    @riceNpea Black people were in Stellaris until this mod removed them.

    I can't see a difference between pre-existing rules and new ones. If the end result is black people are excluded purely because of skin colour it's racist, regardless of whether it's been going on for years or not. As I say - there doesn't need to be any malice involved - just different treatment.

    I think all these groups you mention are sexist, racist, whateverist - just more acceptable forms. Consider something like the WI - I'm fine with that being women only. Would I be fine with it if WI members got a lower rate of income tax, or had special subsidised 1st class train carriages? Probably not.
    Reply +1
  • Stoatboy 24/05/2016

    @riceNpea Muirfield's female exclusion IS sexist. It's treating a part of the population differently (discriminating) because of its sex. It's possible you can argue that exclusion from a golf club is hardly a great loss for most people so it's perhaps a more-acceptable form of sexism than some maybe, but that doesn't mean it isn't sexist.

    If Muirfield had a no-black people policy would you say that wasn't racist?
    Reply +4
  • Stoatboy 24/05/2016

    @riceNpea You've said you can see that it could be seen as discriminatory, but that you can't see how it's racist?

    A) It obviously is discriminatory, because it treats white folk and everyone else differently. It discriminates between them.

    b) Discrimination against a race IS racism, pure and simple. There doesn't have to be any hatred or malice involved. You just have to treat people differently based on their race. Ageism and sexism work the same way - treating people differently based on an arbitrary reason
    Reply +4
  • The guy you're playing as in Doom is playing Doom

  • Stoatboy 22/05/2016

    @redseedsprofile It doesn't matter if the original Doom guy wasn't a drooling sadist. He also wasn't playing Doom.

    This new Doom guy is though.
    Reply +7
  • Doom speedruns have already gotten under 90 minutes

  • Stoatboy 19/05/2016

    @GrumpyOldSod I've forGOTTEN how many times I've mentioned how GOTTEN is an old English word we've fallen out of favour with. I really like it. I want "gotten" reinstated as proper English - it sounds properly Anglo-Saxon. I want it in my language. Reply +7
  • NX won't be sold at a loss

  • Stoatboy 02/05/2016

    @FMV-GAMER My point is exactly what I said - Steam's online stuff isn't free, regardless of whether you use it or not. Every Steam user is paying for it. The fact that Sony and Microsoft do what they do is neither here nor there in relation to that. I've never played online via Steam, yet have obviously paid for others to do so... Reply -11
  • Stoatboy 02/05/2016

    @Fragtaster Right. Because Steam is free, yes? Steam - being perhaps the premier gaming service on the planet with huge servers and tech support - it costs no money whatsoever to run,so they're doing it for the fun of it. Is that your suggestion?

    Or are they paying for it with all the money they rake in from their cut of all transactions on their service.

    Quick clue-it's the latter.
    Reply -7
  • Stoatboy 02/05/2016

    @IronSoldier My Xbox Live gamercard isn't gold though, is it? I'm not paying for something I don't use - and I don't expect anyone else to.

    I also don't want to fund someone who wants to play online for free - which is what would be happening if online services were magically free somehow. We'd all be paying a premium for those who want to play online...
    Reply 0
  • Stoatboy 02/05/2016

    @IronSoldier - yeah, because playing online is a basic human right rather than a privilege, isn't it? Why aren't politicians pushing free online play for all as a key policy, I wonder? Reply -1
  • Minecraft maker releases a free new game on Steam

  • Stoatboy 25/04/2016

    @Shinetop Yeah - you got screwed good and proper by a free website pointing you at a free game. It's a fucking liberty, is what it is! Bastards! Reply +23
  • Stoatboy 25/04/2016

    Well, I'm going to check it out based on what I've read, so I'm grateful for the heads-up, at any rate. It's a free game FFS, it's not like I need an exhaustive review. "Kinda like Risk" is enough to pique my interest... Reply +3
  • Why is video game lore so awful?

  • Stoatboy 23/04/2016

    @ZuluHero Surely the point is that Mount Weather and Majestic 12 are real world things, so learning about them is worthwhile in itself, whereas the arcane whittering of an amateur dragon-fancier about a bunch of polygons in I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Middle-Earth is only going to ever be of any use when in the company of other elves. Reply -2
  • Watch: My favourite typing games

  • Stoatboy 23/04/2016

    I think my sole contribution to Typing of the Dead: Overkill is the inclusion of the word "Stranglewank" in the sweary add-on pack.

    Thinking about it, of all the games I've worked on that's got to be my most-consistently good work - all killer, no filler.


    (I had a big long list of words that I was going to put forward to the team who worked on it, but Blitz went bust about that time, and I forgot to take a copy when I left.)
    Reply +1