Mr.DNA Comments

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  • Remembering G-Police, the best Blade Runner game ever

  • Mr.DNA 23/07/2017

    My mate had this game and I remember above all the great sense of style that it had. Homing in on targets with your little futuristic airship, in a decidedly noir setting, with th neon landscape glittering on the horizon was a rather unique feature for a late 90s PS1 game.

    And isn't it refreshing to read an EET comments section that hasn't descended into mudslinging? But then Erwin obviously has the feels for this game and so perhaps hasn't take time to consider the problematic plot, replete with hyper-masculinised, war hero protagonist Slater mansplaining his way through the evil corporation Nanosoft's inner sanctum in a transparently male-ego boosting mission to find out the truth about his sister.
    Reply +3
  • Zelda: Breath of the Wild speedrunner blazes through Trial of the Sword in under 44 minutes

  • Mr.DNA 11/07/2017

    @BobbyDeNiro I mean, who's to say the speed runner hasn't already spent hundreds of hours exploring at his own leisurely pace? Speed running is a separate pursuit to that which you describe; they don't have to bf mutually exclusive. Reply +9
  • Mercy me: in praise of gaming's greatest healer

  • Mr.DNA 10/07/2017

    @SteadyBarker The English language is not safe. If we aren't allowed to say that someone is a thug, what next? It used to be the right who got their knickers in a twist about this kind of stuff. It was the right who were vying to censor all and sundry until the world we inhabit was safe and sanitary and utterly fucking boring. Now it is the left who have taken over Mary Whitehouse's censorious mantle, and you can hardly fucking breathe without some delicate little flower word-shaming you for calling a video game character a thug.

    I think I'm going to go cry in a corner.
    Reply -1
  • Mr.DNA 10/07/2017

    @SteadyBarker I'm afraid that EET's immediate and unwavering decision to remove the word "thug", which is an honest-to-goodness, bona fide word that is in no way offensive to anyone, is indicative of the worrying tendency in today's world to jump at the even the merest hint of perceived offence. So what if someone is offended by the word "thug"? They can go and cry in a corner. Unwaveringly complying with the instantly-offended brigade and censoring commonly-used words without even checking to see if the word is, in fact, offensive, is a sad indictment on the way we are all headed. Reply 0
  • Mr.DNA 10/07/2017

    @SteadyBarker Um, the one person complaining about the word "thug" got their censorious wish and the offending, triggering term was removed. The people poohooing the illiberal removal of a standard, inoffensive word are the ones being ignored. Reply 0
  • Mr.DNA 10/07/2017

    @Kikizosan SJWs. It's kind of their job to find offence wherever they look. Reply -3
  • Mr.DNA 10/07/2017

    Another Edwin Evans-Thirwell article and, of course, you don't have to scan down far for the word "patriarchy" to jump out of the page. The edit to remove the harmless word "thug", at the first cry of racism, is especially excellent At this point I have to assume that EET is a brilliant caricature of a foaming SJW dreamt up by the Eurogamer staff, designed solely to piss me off. Reply -2
  • Final Fantasy 12 The Zodiac Age review

  • Mr.DNA 10/07/2017

    I never completed this game back when it was released and I can't wait to dive back in and give it another whirl. The updates to the music, graphics and gameplay all appear to be considerable and this is looking to be a summer treat and a half. Reply +2
  • Jelly Deals roundup: Shadow of Mordor, The Surge, The Art of Overwatch, and more

  • Mr.DNA 08/07/2017

    Valkyria Chronicles for under 8 quid is crazy good if you haven't played it yet. Reply +3
  • Games and the delights of accidental creativity

  • Mr.DNA 08/07/2017

    I've never really played Minecraft myself properly, only having watched my nephew's game, although I did have a bash at the Fallout 4 map editor thing. And I was abysmal. I spent an hour building a two-story "house" that would hold all of the town's residents and my companions, and whilst I started off with lofty plans the resultant windowless shack with beds arranged dormitory-style left much to be desired. Reply +2
  • Danger Zone review

  • Mr.DNA 30/05/2017

    @BBIAJ Oh yes, all hail the mighty Thimble... um... I mean...

    I'm sorry but I genuinely have never heard of any of those fucking games.
    Reply -5
  • Ultra Street Fighter 2: The Final Challengers review

  • Mr.DNA 24/05/2017

    @riceNpea With the joke, of course, being that Alan Partridge is precisely the sortof pedantic bell-end who would make such a correction when the term "Frankenstein" is common parlance for a mishmash of assorted parts. Reply -3
  • The hidden echoes of Resident Evil 7's remixed house

  • Mr.DNA 14/05/2017

    From the sprawling insanity of Jet Set Willy's opulent residence to the creepy incongruity of Maniac Mansion's, er, mansion, video games have treated us to some truly memorable old houses. For me though the castle in Demon's Souls' 1-1- in the heart of Boletaria- holds a special place in my subconscious. Playing through that place for the first time felt more like having been transported to another world than anything else I'd previously encountered. Reply +3
  • A Switch is for life, not just for Zelda

  • Mr.DNA 24/03/2017

    I generally enjoy Martin's writing, although in the space of only a few short weeks he has denounced the superlative Horizon Zero Dawn as iterative and generic fare, and lauded the Switch's deeply threadbare and unsatisfying launch line-up. I want what he's having! Reply +8
  • Watch: 11 hidden details in Fallout 4's Nuka World trailer

  • Mr.DNA 18/08/2016

    I've been playing Bethesda games since Morrowind (albeit, admittedly, on the original Xbox), and it's the first Bethesda game where I didn't immediately play right from the beginning again as a different character. It didn't have the same spark of ingenuity or originality of its predecessor, nor was its replay value as strong as the Elder Scrolls games before it. I have been disinterested in the DLC so far, and I'd love to see the difference between its and Skyrim's DLC sales figures.

    Lots of soul-searching for BGS for their next projects in my opinion.
    Reply +2
  • The Eurogamer Podcast - Overwatch, Doom and Total War: Warhammer

  • Mr.DNA 27/05/2016

    Hyphen! Reply 0
  • The secrets of Dark Souls lore explained and explored

  • Mr.DNA 15/04/2016

    I enjoy ENB's channel and have been watching his play through of Dark Souls 3 with interest. It's nice being one step ahead of this dude whose job at this point largely consists of making money off of Dark Souls YouTube videos. And it's nice to have the lore delivered in a straightforward manner as opposed to VaatiVidya's quasi-mystical wank.

    Oh, great long article Rich! It's easy to see why you have become Eurogamer'a go-to Souls man!
    Reply +3
  • Dark Souls 3 and the meaning of 'utsukushi'

  • Mr.DNA 01/03/2016

    I imported Demon's Souls from the states after reading Keza MacDonald's spellbinding Eurogamer review, and the hype has been rendered all-too-scintillating real after hungrily consuming Aoife's masterful preview. March is simply a burden that we all have to grin and bear ourselves through. Reply +1
  • Ellie Gibson on: Manual Stimulation

  • Mr.DNA 09/01/2016

    Hyphen! Reply 0
  • Games of 2015 no 5: The Witcher 3

  • Mr.DNA 28/12/2015

    Much like my experience playing Grand Theft Auto IV, I thought that The Witcher 3 was easily in my top 3 all-time games when I was 10 hours into playing it. TW3's appeal lasted for many more tens of hours than GTA 4, although the same problem became apparent with both games- they became far too repetitive. I must have spent 40-50 hours clearing Velen's map before heading to Skellige (and there was STILL tons to do), although by the time that I did eventually reach the rocky island I was just absolutely burnt out by the samey quests and the samey combat and activities.

    Don't get me wrong, I had MAD fun getting really absorbed with Gwent and collecting rare cards and just being in awe of what CDProject had managed to achieve with the game- the character development, cut-scenes, dialogue and overall richness and scale of the world were all peerlessly impressive- although for me the gameplay became stale after a (good long) while, and despite urging myself onwards I could never muster up the will to actually complete the game. After 80 or so full hours of play, admittedly, but I just couldn't be arsed with it any more.
    Reply -1
  • Takahashi's castle: An RPG master's journey from Final Fantasy to Xenoblade

  • Mr.DNA 29/11/2015

    Am I the only one who is concerned that the more rock-focussed soundtrack in Xenoblade Chronicles X will just in no way match up to the grandeur of the music in the original? I know that there is a lot more to a game than just music, although the themes heard throughout the first game are in my opinion some of the most beautiful tunes ever devised- not just in games- and so anything less will invariably harm the atmosphere of exploring. Reply +2
  • Moogles confirmed for Final Fantasy 15

  • Mr.DNA 09/11/2015

    The fact that Moogles (and airships, and chocobos, and Firaga, and Blizzaga, and a world map) were not a part of the initial design document, to be replaced by four emo twats twatting about in a convertible, is reason enough to fear the worst for this near-certain abomination. Reply +5
  • Does Metal Gear Solid 5's Eva costume DLC really have a "tactical advantage?"

  • Mr.DNA 21/10/2015

    @simpleexplodingmaybe Yep, because if Kojima had just said from the start that Quiet would have jiggly tits on parade because, let's face it, tits are totally fucking awesome, then the likes of Aoife Wilson would have instead held their hands up and said "fair enough", instead of withering on about how misogynostic it all is.

    *rolls eyes until they are firmly lodged in my fucking cerebellum*
    Reply -2
  • The Eurogamer podcast returns to debate the highs and lows of 2015

  • Mr.DNA 27/09/2015

    Hyphen! Reply +2
  • So, Mr Kojima, do we feel "ashamed" over Quiet?

  • Mr.DNA 04/09/2015

    I'm a heterosexual guy, and I love tits. Not boobs, or boobies, or breasts. Tits. Even just PASSING a bakery, and getting a quick swatch of the cherry bakewells in the window, gives me a full-on steel pole erection. As a man I think about sex every 6 seconds, and I think about tits at LEAST every two or three.

    Small tits. Pointy tits. Misshapen tits. Fake tits. Perky tits. Droopy tits. One tit bigger than the other. Tits with comically large nipples. In fact all manner of wonderfully succulent tits course through my sex-addled, testosterone-fuelled man brain every other second of the day.

    Hideo Kojima is also a heterosexual man. And as a man the above varieties of tits- and a whole cacophony of others- blaze through his tit-infested mind all through the day. Leave him the fuck alone.
    Reply -3
  • Ashes of the Singularity: the first DX12 gaming benchmark tested

  • Mr.DNA 17/08/2015

    I do not own a gaming PC and I do not understand anything at all in this entire article, although as a kid who used to wait patiently each month until I could buy my copy of Mean Machines it is just really fucking cool to hear Richard Leadbetter's voice. Whatever happened to Oz and Radion Automatic?! Reply +4
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2 gets a surprise, huge patch

  • Mr.DNA 21/07/2015

    KotOR 2, with the Restored Content mod applied, is simply one of the greatest RPGs of all time. I enjoyed games such as the Witcher, Fallout and Skyrim, although for sheer player agency where you can either be sweetness and light or a vicious psychopathic nut-job, nothing quite compares to Obsidian's seminal masterpiece. The original was a wonderful game but the sequel, especially with the added mod, offers gameplay that modern role-playing games just can't compete with.

    What a great time to play this classic if you either haven't before, or else played it without the all-conquering mod!
    Reply +9
  • Video: Arkham Knight, Mass Effect Andromeda and a mystery thing - The Eurogamer Show

  • Mr.DNA 28/06/2015

    We're all thinking it: how can a Northern Irish chick that hot know anything about games? Do any of us even know a girl who is knowledgable about games? Like, really knowledgable? Never mind a fucking 9/10 rarity like that?

    Well I don't. Carry on.
    Reply +1
  • Tales of Zestiria to get Western release this October

  • Mr.DNA 12/06/2015

    @Laythe_AD I agree with your sentiments. Tales of Xillia was an above average JRPG, although after the dizzy heights of the sublime Tales of Vesperia it was a comparatively lukewarm experience. I would have gobbled up a sequel to Vesperia although Xillia 2 just did not entice me one bit. Hopefully this new game will have the depth and the character and the role-playing goodness that has been missing from the last couple of entries. Reply 0
  • Everyone thinks Fallout 4 is out this year

  • Mr.DNA 04/06/2015

    Todd Howard said in an interview with a German magazine in 2013 that the next game would have the shortest period of time between the announcement and the release. When there was no announcement at the end of 2014 the smart money was firmly on an E3 2015 announcement and a late-2015 release. I have no idea what drugs those assuming otherwise have been on. Reply +1
  • Final Fantasy 15's brotastic TGS trailer gets an English dub

  • Mr.DNA 15/12/2014

    Towns
    Chocobos
    Side Quests
    NPCs
    Airships
    Moogles
    Magic
    Weapon Upgrades
    Armour Upgrades

    I am a firm believer in the gaming maxim that the best games don't give the fans what they think they want; they give the fans what they don't even know that they want. Square Enix have shown that they are incapable of the latter. And so please. For the love of God. Give us what we want.
    Reply +8
  • Dark Souls 2: Crown of the Ivory King review

  • Mr.DNA 02/10/2014

    Simon Parkin is my favourite ever video game journalist. His writing is incredibly rich and immensely enjoyable to read. Parkin to review Bloodborne, Welsh. You know it makes sense! Reply 0
  • FIFA 15 review

  • Mr.DNA 23/09/2014

    Yes... yes... yes.. yes... yes... YEEEESSSSSSSSS! That- was a goal!

    Thstriker!!!!

    Bing bang, stick it in- thank you, goodnight!

    Twat! That was liquid football!

    Uh- SHIIIIT! Did you see that!?? He must have a foot like a traction engine!

    The... proof is in the pudding.. and the pudding in this case... is a football. BOOF! Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie... all over his shirt.
    Reply +2
  • Bastard of the Old Republic

  • Mr.DNA 21/09/2014

    BioWare have absolutely gone backwards since this seminal effort. They used to make CRPG games that boasted incredible depth, superlative writing and gripping minute-to-minute gameplay; Baldur's Gate and KotOR are rightly considered as being two of the very best role-playing games ever created. I enjoyed the Mass Effect series, although it is but a pale imitation of the role-playing goodness that KotOR offered. In KotOR you were constantly in awe as you were playing, understanding that you could be experiencing the game in a fantastically different manner, and looking forward to doing just that in your next play-through.

    In Mass Effect it didn't really matter too much whether you were a Paragon or a Renegade- apart from a few set-piece moments here and there the game played almost identically regardless of how you acted. KotOR allowed you to be deliciously and wantonly evil if you so chose; Mass Effect allowed you to be a bit of a dick, with your dickish actions being more or less the same as the less dickish equivalent. I did enjoy playing through Mass Effect, although it was a gargantuan step backwards from KotOR in terms of allowing the player the freedom to play the game in a variety of ways.

    I am currently playing through the restored content mod of KotOR II for the second time this year, playing as a light side character, and it just absolutely craps all over just about every other RPG that has been released since. Playing KotOR today is at once a beautiful and a depressing experience. I marvel at the storytelling and the quality of the voice acting and the meaty, substantial characters, and I wince when I realise that its like has never been seen since, and may never be seen again.

    Thank you, John Walker, for what is without doubt one of the very best articles ever erected on this site. More of this sort of thing as we move forward into a new Eurogaming era, Mr Welsh!
    Reply +21
  • Microsoft's E3 press conference

  • Mr.DNA 09/06/2014

    Three Scottish presenters, if your count the Xbox Live monkey who did his bit along side Major Cunt bag... uh... Nelson. Represent! Reply 0
  • Transistor review

  • Mr.DNA 20/05/2014

    I remember Supergiant's Greg Kasavin writing, after he left Gamespot, that he would do everything within his power to create top-scoring games. Looks like the ex Editor-in-Chief was absolutely true to his word. Reply +4
  • Video: Let's Replay Thief: The Dark Project

  • Mr.DNA 23/02/2014

    I really enjoy these videos, although I wish that they were longer. I would have happily sat and listened to the knowledgeable Paul Dean and the always-amusing Ellie Gibson as they play and remembered the entirety of this classic level. Reply 0
  • Witness PS4's The PlayRoom, as demoed by Jimmy Fallon and Ice-T

  • Mr.DNA 14/11/2013

    Ice-T is one of the most amazing human beings on the planet. Reply -4
  • BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode One review

  • Mr.DNA 11/11/2013

    BioShock Infinite is one of the most egregiously overrated games of all time. Pretentious and nonsensical plot coupled with substandard FPS mechanics. I just did not understand the insane fanfare that that game received. Reply +7
  • Mass Effect 4 teaser images released by BioWare

  • Mr.DNA 09/11/2013

    I found Mass Effect to be an incredibly disappointing and lightweight role-playing game after the depth of KotOR. Reply 0
  • Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons review

  • Mr.DNA 07/08/2013

    PS3 version, please! Reply 0
  • Ken Levine finds Chromecast tech more exciting than next-gen

  • Mr.DNA 06/08/2013

    Ken, just you concentrate on making sure that your next game isn't a boring-as-all-fuck pseudo-intellectual wank fest. Reply -7
  • BioShock Infinite: Clash in the Clouds review

  • Mr.DNA 30/07/2013

    The most overrated and undeservedly wanked-over game of all time. I never thought I'd be that guy, but... neg me to hell! Reply +2
  • Outside Xbox explores the troubled development of The Bureau

  • Mr.DNA 28/07/2013

    "And it's not Ange any more- it's Mrs. Hennity to you!" Reply 0
  • Tech Analysis: Assassin's Creed 4

  • Mr.DNA 21/07/2013

    The Assassin's Creed series is perhaps the most woefully overrated series of the past few years. Reply +2
  • FIFA 14 has official license for 19 Brazilian clubs

  • Mr.DNA 17/07/2013

    @Steve8282 Agreed. Computerised breast jiggle has now evolved to a such a realistic standard that there really is no excuse not to. Reply +13
  • BioWare reminisces as KOTOR turns 10

  • Mr.DNA 16/07/2013

    Knights of the Old Republic was the last truly great RPG that BioWare made. Hindsight has shown Jade Empire to be a great game, but certainly not a great role-playing game. For Jade Empire BioWare sowed the seeds that would colour all of their future efforts, championing graphics and twitch-based gameplay at the expense of deep and engaging role-playing mechanics. It was an action game with some light RPG elements.

    When Mass Effect was announced I was incredibly excited. The idea of a futuristic, KotOR-like epic RPG, with state of the art graphics and a behind-the-shoulder gameplay perspective, sounded incredible. As it turns out we were presented with yet another talky action game with some light role-playing mechanics. I enjoyed the Mass Effect series, and Mass Effect 2 in particular was thoroughly enjoyable, but none of the games came close to matching the depth and sophistication, and the sheer level of player choice, that KotOR and Baldur's Gate offered.

    I mourn KotOR. No-one is making games like it anymore. And for BioWare to say that all KotOR fans really need is the thoroughly lacklustre Old Republic is nothing short of insulting to our gaming sensibilities, honed to perfection over the years to spot the difference between a diamond and a turd.
    Reply -3
  • Mario & Luigi: Dream Team Bros. review

  • Mr.DNA 12/07/2013

    Superstar Saga for the GBA was a pioneering, super-addictive and blisteringly funny romp that remains the highlight of the Mario & Luigi handheld series. None of the games since- neither Partners in Time nor Bowser's Inside Story- have come anywhere close to matching the pant-wetting delight that was Superstar Saga. With this latest limp-wristed effort I fear that the series is in desperate need of a serious rethink.

    Oh, and @snoox: Nintendo Life has been overrating games for years. It was originally designed to be the only website that would habitually review WiiWare games, and it tended to afford the most banal and desperately dull WiiWare games head-scratchingly lofty scores. The writing is largely abysmal into the bargain.

    Edit: Unlike the writing at Eurogamer, which is largely excellent. And I'll read anything by Simon Parkin. One of my favourite games journalists- Eurogamer are lucky to have him!
    Reply +7
  • Undead again: Dark Souls 2 preview

  • Mr.DNA 18/06/2013

    Blacksmith Ed; Blacksmith Boldwin; The Filthy Man; The Filthy Woman; Various Dreglings; Stockpile Thomas: what do they have in common? They all speak with a Scottish accent! A debilitating lack of Scots brogues in Dark Souls (ie- none). Bring back the Scots tongue in Dark Souls 2 please, From Software! Umbasa! Reply +4
  • Obsidian's next-gen game "already looking great" says Feargus Urquhart

  • Mr.DNA 03/05/2013

    I'm ten hours into Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. I'm using the Restored Content mod and playing the game on my shiny new laptop, as opposed to the Xbox version that I played back in 2005- and it is a revelation. Role-playing games have absolutely gone backwards since BioWare and Obsidian's seminal mid-naughties efforts. I had high hopes for Mass Effect although it was but a pale shadow of the grendeur that is KotOR.

    Playing KotOR is at once a blissfully delightful and mournfully melancholoy experience. I marvel at the unprecedentedly deep dialogue system which still has not been matched in the eight years hence. I gawp, open-mouthed, at the deliciously dark deeds that I am allowed to commit, and the wonderful feeling that I could be playing through the game completely differently if I had chosen to play as a Light Side character instead of a Dark Sided miscreant.

    At the same time, though, I mourn the way in which RPGs have become less detailed and less intricate, the minute-to-minute play in no way as thrilling and absorbing as it once was. I read a witty little journal entry that a developer from Obsidian doubtlessly wrote in a caffeine-induced stupor at three in the morning, and I find myself downbeat when I realise that such attention to detail is becoming a rarity.

    Playing through Knights of the Old Republic again after all these years is a wonderful lesson in how to make a deep, intelligent and engaging role-playing game, and modern developers should take note. I almost hesitate to ask for a third instalment as I fear that it would not be able to live up to the lofty heights of its predecessors.
    Reply +11