Mr.DNA Comments

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  • The Eurogamer podcast returns to debate the highs and lows of 2015

  • Mr.DNA 27/09/2015

    Hyphen! Reply +2
  • So, Mr Kojima, do we feel "ashamed" over Quiet?

  • Mr.DNA 04/09/2015

    I'm a heterosexual guy, and I love tits. Not boobs, or boobies, or breasts. Tits. Even just PASSING a bakery, and getting a quick swatch of the cherry bakewells in the window, gives me a full-on steel pole erection. As a man I think about sex every 6 seconds, and I think about tits at LEAST every two or three.

    Small tits. Pointy tits. Misshapen tits. Fake tits. Perky tits. Droopy tits. One tit bigger than the other. Tits with comically large nipples. In fact all manner of wonderfully succulent tits course through my sex-addled, testosterone-fuelled man brain every other second of the day.

    Hideo Kojima is also a heterosexual man. And as a man the above varieties of tits- and a whole cacophony of others- blaze through his tit-infested mind all through the day. Leave him the fuck alone.
    Reply -3
  • Ashes of the Singularity: the first DX12 gaming benchmark tested

  • Mr.DNA 17/08/2015

    I do not own a gaming PC and I do not understand anything at all in this entire article, although as a kid who used to wait patiently each month until I could buy my copy of Mean Machines it is just really fucking cool to hear Richard Leadbetter's voice. Whatever happened to Oz and Radion Automatic?! Reply +4
  • Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2 gets a surprise, huge patch

  • Mr.DNA 21/07/2015

    KotOR 2, with the Restored Content mod applied, is simply one of the greatest RPGs of all time. I enjoyed games such as the Witcher, Fallout and Skyrim, although for sheer player agency where you can either be sweetness and light or a vicious psychopathic nut-job, nothing quite compares to Obsidian's seminal masterpiece. The original was a wonderful game but the sequel, especially with the added mod, offers gameplay that modern role-playing games just can't compete with.

    What a great time to play this classic if you either haven't before, or else played it without the all-conquering mod!
    Reply +6
  • Video: Arkham Knight, Mass Effect Andromeda and a mystery thing - The Eurogamer Show

  • Mr.DNA 28/06/2015

    We're all thinking it: how can a Northern Irish chick that hot know anything about games? Do any of us even know a girl who is knowledgable about games? Like, really knowledgable? Never mind a fucking 9/10 rarity like that?

    Well I don't. Carry on.
    Reply +1
  • Tales of Zestiria to get Western release this October

  • Mr.DNA 12/06/2015

    @Laythe_AD I agree with your sentiments. Tales of Xillia was an above average JRPG, although after the dizzy heights of the sublime Tales of Vesperia it was a comparatively lukewarm experience. I would have gobbled up a sequel to Vesperia although Xillia 2 just did not entice me one bit. Hopefully this new game will have the depth and the character and the role-playing goodness that has been missing from the last couple of entries. Reply 0
  • Everyone thinks Fallout 4 is out this year

  • Mr.DNA 04/06/2015

    Todd Howard said in an interview with a German magazine in 2013 that the next game would have the shortest period of time between the announcement and the release. When there was no announcement at the end of 2014 the smart money was firmly on an E3 2015 announcement and a late-2015 release. I have no idea what drugs those assuming otherwise have been on. Reply +1
  • Final Fantasy 15's brotastic TGS trailer gets an English dub

  • Mr.DNA 15/12/2014

    Side Quests
    Weapon Upgrades
    Armour Upgrades

    I am a firm believer in the gaming maxim that the best games don't give the fans what they think they want; they give the fans what they don't even know that they want. Square Enix have shown that they are incapable of the latter. And so please. For the love of God. Give us what we want.
    Reply +8
  • Dark Souls 2: Crown of the Ivory King review

  • Mr.DNA 02/10/2014

    Simon Parkin is my favourite ever video game journalist. His writing is incredibly rich and immensely enjoyable to read. Parkin to review Bloodborne, Welsh. You know it makes sense! Reply 0
  • FIFA 15 review

  • Mr.DNA 23/09/2014

    Yes... yes... yes.. yes... yes... YEEEESSSSSSSSS! That- was a goal!


    Bing bang, stick it in- thank you, goodnight!

    Twat! That was liquid football!

    Uh- SHIIIIT! Did you see that!?? He must have a foot like a traction engine!

    The... proof is in the pudding.. and the pudding in this case... is a football. BOOF! Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie... all over his shirt.
    Reply +2
  • Bastard of the Old Republic

  • Mr.DNA 21/09/2014

    BioWare have absolutely gone backwards since this seminal effort. They used to make CRPG games that boasted incredible depth, superlative writing and gripping minute-to-minute gameplay; Baldur's Gate and KotOR are rightly considered as being two of the very best role-playing games ever created. I enjoyed the Mass Effect series, although it is but a pale imitation of the role-playing goodness that KotOR offered. In KotOR you were constantly in awe as you were playing, understanding that you could be experiencing the game in a fantastically different manner, and looking forward to doing just that in your next play-through.

    In Mass Effect it didn't really matter too much whether you were a Paragon or a Renegade- apart from a few set-piece moments here and there the game played almost identically regardless of how you acted. KotOR allowed you to be deliciously and wantonly evil if you so chose; Mass Effect allowed you to be a bit of a dick, with your dickish actions being more or less the same as the less dickish equivalent. I did enjoy playing through Mass Effect, although it was a gargantuan step backwards from KotOR in terms of allowing the player the freedom to play the game in a variety of ways.

    I am currently playing through the restored content mod of KotOR II for the second time this year, playing as a light side character, and it just absolutely craps all over just about every other RPG that has been released since. Playing KotOR today is at once a beautiful and a depressing experience. I marvel at the storytelling and the quality of the voice acting and the meaty, substantial characters, and I wince when I realise that its like has never been seen since, and may never be seen again.

    Thank you, John Walker, for what is without doubt one of the very best articles ever erected on this site. More of this sort of thing as we move forward into a new Eurogaming era, Mr Welsh!
    Reply +20
  • Microsoft's E3 press conference

  • Mr.DNA 09/06/2014

    Three Scottish presenters, if your count the Xbox Live monkey who did his bit along side Major Cunt bag... uh... Nelson. Represent! Reply 0
  • Transistor review

  • Mr.DNA 20/05/2014

    I remember Supergiant's Greg Kasavin writing, after he left Gamespot, that he would do everything within his power to create top-scoring games. Looks like the ex Editor-in-Chief was absolutely true to his word. Reply +4
  • Video: Let's Replay Thief: The Dark Project

  • Mr.DNA 23/02/2014

    I really enjoy these videos, although I wish that they were longer. I would have happily sat and listened to the knowledgeable Paul Dean and the always-amusing Ellie Gibson as they play and remembered the entirety of this classic level. Reply 0
  • Witness PS4's The PlayRoom, as demoed by Jimmy Fallon and Ice-T

  • Mr.DNA 14/11/2013

    Ice-T is one of the most amazing human beings on the planet. Reply -4
  • BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode One review

  • Mr.DNA 11/11/2013

    BioShock Infinite is one of the most egregiously overrated games of all time. Pretentious and nonsensical plot coupled with substandard FPS mechanics. I just did not understand the insane fanfare that that game received. Reply +7
  • Mass Effect 4 teaser images released by BioWare

  • Mr.DNA 09/11/2013

    I found Mass Effect to be an incredibly disappointing and lightweight role-playing game after the depth of KotOR. Reply 0
  • Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons review

  • Mr.DNA 07/08/2013

    PS3 version, please! Reply 0
  • Ken Levine finds Chromecast tech more exciting than next-gen

  • Mr.DNA 06/08/2013

    Ken, just you concentrate on making sure that your next game isn't a boring-as-all-fuck pseudo-intellectual wank fest. Reply -7
  • BioShock Infinite: Clash in the Clouds review

  • Mr.DNA 30/07/2013

    The most overrated and undeservedly wanked-over game of all time. I never thought I'd be that guy, but... neg me to hell! Reply +2
  • Outside Xbox explores the troubled development of The Bureau

  • Mr.DNA 28/07/2013

    "And it's not Ange any more- it's Mrs. Hennity to you!" Reply 0
  • Tech Analysis: Assassin's Creed 4

  • Mr.DNA 21/07/2013

    The Assassin's Creed series is perhaps the most woefully overrated series of the past few years. Reply +2
  • FIFA 14 has official license for 19 Brazilian clubs

  • Mr.DNA 17/07/2013

    @Steve8282 Agreed. Computerised breast jiggle has now evolved to a such a realistic standard that there really is no excuse not to. Reply +13
  • BioWare reminisces as KOTOR turns 10

  • Mr.DNA 16/07/2013

    Knights of the Old Republic was the last truly great RPG that BioWare made. Hindsight has shown Jade Empire to be a great game, but certainly not a great role-playing game. For Jade Empire BioWare sowed the seeds that would colour all of their future efforts, championing graphics and twitch-based gameplay at the expense of deep and engaging role-playing mechanics. It was an action game with some light RPG elements.

    When Mass Effect was announced I was incredibly excited. The idea of a futuristic, KotOR-like epic RPG, with state of the art graphics and a behind-the-shoulder gameplay perspective, sounded incredible. As it turns out we were presented with yet another talky action game with some light role-playing mechanics. I enjoyed the Mass Effect series, and Mass Effect 2 in particular was thoroughly enjoyable, but none of the games came close to matching the depth and sophistication, and the sheer level of player choice, that KotOR and Baldur's Gate offered.

    I mourn KotOR. No-one is making games like it anymore. And for BioWare to say that all KotOR fans really need is the thoroughly lacklustre Old Republic is nothing short of insulting to our gaming sensibilities, honed to perfection over the years to spot the difference between a diamond and a turd.
    Reply -3
  • Mario & Luigi: Dream Team Bros. review

  • Mr.DNA 12/07/2013

    Superstar Saga for the GBA was a pioneering, super-addictive and blisteringly funny romp that remains the highlight of the Mario & Luigi handheld series. None of the games since- neither Partners in Time nor Bowser's Inside Story- have come anywhere close to matching the pant-wetting delight that was Superstar Saga. With this latest limp-wristed effort I fear that the series is in desperate need of a serious rethink.

    Oh, and @snoox: Nintendo Life has been overrating games for years. It was originally designed to be the only website that would habitually review WiiWare games, and it tended to afford the most banal and desperately dull WiiWare games head-scratchingly lofty scores. The writing is largely abysmal into the bargain.

    Edit: Unlike the writing at Eurogamer, which is largely excellent. And I'll read anything by Simon Parkin. One of my favourite games journalists- Eurogamer are lucky to have him!
    Reply +7
  • Undead again: Dark Souls 2 preview

  • Mr.DNA 18/06/2013

    Blacksmith Ed; Blacksmith Boldwin; The Filthy Man; The Filthy Woman; Various Dreglings; Stockpile Thomas: what do they have in common? They all speak with a Scottish accent! A debilitating lack of Scots brogues in Dark Souls (ie- none). Bring back the Scots tongue in Dark Souls 2 please, From Software! Umbasa! Reply +4
  • Obsidian's next-gen game "already looking great" says Feargus Urquhart

  • Mr.DNA 03/05/2013

    I'm ten hours into Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. I'm using the Restored Content mod and playing the game on my shiny new laptop, as opposed to the Xbox version that I played back in 2005- and it is a revelation. Role-playing games have absolutely gone backwards since BioWare and Obsidian's seminal mid-naughties efforts. I had high hopes for Mass Effect although it was but a pale shadow of the grendeur that is KotOR.

    Playing KotOR is at once a blissfully delightful and mournfully melancholoy experience. I marvel at the unprecedentedly deep dialogue system which still has not been matched in the eight years hence. I gawp, open-mouthed, at the deliciously dark deeds that I am allowed to commit, and the wonderful feeling that I could be playing through the game completely differently if I had chosen to play as a Light Side character instead of a Dark Sided miscreant.

    At the same time, though, I mourn the way in which RPGs have become less detailed and less intricate, the minute-to-minute play in no way as thrilling and absorbing as it once was. I read a witty little journal entry that a developer from Obsidian doubtlessly wrote in a caffeine-induced stupor at three in the morning, and I find myself downbeat when I realise that such attention to detail is becoming a rarity.

    Playing through Knights of the Old Republic again after all these years is a wonderful lesson in how to make a deep, intelligent and engaging role-playing game, and modern developers should take note. I almost hesitate to ask for a third instalment as I fear that it would not be able to live up to the lofty heights of its predecessors.
    Reply +11
  • Advance Wars retrospective

  • Mr.DNA 21/04/2013

    Some of my most cherished gaming memories are of playing the first GBA version on my GameBoy player. Seeing it blown up on my telly was such a treat! A shame that you can't do the same with the likes of the 3DS's Fire Emblem. Reply 0
  • Skyrim team moving on to "our next major project", presumably Fallout 4

  • Mr.DNA 15/04/2013

    Todd Howard said in an interview in 2010, before Skyrim was even announced, that he was working on two games- one that was "fairly far on" (Skyrim) and one that would come after Skyrim. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Now that Skyrim has been out for 1 1/2 years I simply cannot believe that their new game is still in the pre-production stage. They must have the engine up and running and a large portion of the game set up by now. The have a staff of over 100 and they wouldn't have needed even half of that number for the Skyrim DLC. Another year and a half and we can expect Fallout 4 in the winter of 2014. Mark my words! Reply 0
  • Team Meat on cats, consoles, and its wish for Super Meat Boy

  • Mr.DNA 09/03/2013

    I found the spiel about kids not caring about buttons to be fairly naive. The same kids who "fucking love Angry Birds" fucking love Call of Duty as well. And in any case, it is a sad day when pap like Angry Birds is setting the trend for how games in the future will be played. Reply +5
  • Eurogamer meets Jonathan Ross

  • Mr.DNA 21/01/2013

    Peter Molyneux wishes that Jonathan Ross hadn't announced Fable 3. That's fair enough, but I wish that Peter Molyneux hadn't bothered releasing it. Reply +15
  • Assassin's Creed 3 review

  • Mr.DNA 30/10/2012

    @Telepathic.Geometry Ha! Good luck knowing what the fuck's going on! I abandoned the first one halfway through due to my being bored out of my skull, although I tried to give the second game a shot. I even bought Brotherhood as I was planning on playing them both back to back. I just couldn't get into the game at all though, partly as a result of my not really understanding what was happening as I hadn't engaged with the first one. Reply 0
  • App of the Day: Final Fantasy: Dimensions

  • Mr.DNA 13/09/2012

    Can you close the app and save at any time you choose? When your train is just about to stop at your station and you're in the middle of a battle, for example? Reply 0
  • Dark Souls Easy Mode quote a mistranslation, apparently

  • Mr.DNA 08/09/2012

    @dominalien Yep, I'd go along with that. The people who want an easy mode in the game don't understand the point of the game. They're cunts. Reply +3
  • Mr.DNA 08/09/2012

    To be fair, if you think that From Software should inject an easy mode into all future games in the Souls series, then there's no doubt about it: you're a harebrained, clueless cunt. Reply -4
  • Mass Effect 3 Wii U developer "very conscious of not wanting to mess up"

  • Mr.DNA 08/09/2012

    @Headless_Monkey_Boy I never understand the clamouring over another Jade Empire title. For me Jade Empire was the beginning of the end of BioWare being a top-notch developer of deep and satisfying CRPGs. KotOR managed to sublimely merge meaty and rewarding RPG mechanics with beautiful 3D graphics, and the writing and decision-making that the game offered the player was unprecedented for the time.

    With Jade Empire we found the 3D graphics to have been pumped up a few notches, whilst the deep and meaningful RPG mechanics that BioWare had made their trademark were unceremoniously thrown out of the window. The Mass Effect series was merely a continuation of this trend, that Jade Empire had initiated, of BioWare dumbing down their product in order to pander to the widest possible audience.

    So yeah, the last thing we need is another bloody Jade Empire. What we do need is the old, pre-Jade Empire BioWare back. Don't hold your breath folks!
    Reply +2
  • The writer who left BioWare: Eurogamer interviews Drew Karpyshyn

  • Mr.DNA 20/08/2012

    Sorry, Bertie, but Mass Effect 3 was NOT great. Not in the way that, say, KOTOR was great. KOTOR was effing marvellous. ME3 was middling at best. Reply +6
  • Regaining fans' trust in Final Fantasy will take a "long time", FF14 producer says

  • Mr.DNA 17/08/2012

    @darkmorgado Hey, darkmorgado, Lost Odyssey, Infinite Undiscovery and Star Ocean were all fairly woeful and FF XIII was a disaster. Tales of the Abyss was first released in 2006 for the ps2, and you've listed it twice... Reply +4
  • Mr.DNA 17/08/2012

    Final Fantasy XIII was a debacle. Hour after hour after hour after hour of running along pretty yet uninspired coridors battling enemies, interspersed with asinine and confusing cut-scenes. Yes, the battle system was fun, but everything inbetween was a load of absolute horse shit. Where were the NPCs? Side quests? Towns? Shops? Items? Where was the overworld? Airships? A serious rethink is required for FF XV, because the series is teetering on the brink of collapse. Reply +22
  • Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy Review

  • Mr.DNA 05/07/2012

    Shocking lack of acknowledgement of the FF IV soundtrack in the comments here. Uematsu's finest hour! Reply 0
  • Nintendo: UK retailers to set 3DS XL price

  • Mr.DNA 22/06/2012

    I bought a 3DS on the day of release last year for 200. Apart from a then 13 year-old N64 game and the wonderful Super Mario 3D Land, there has been absolutely nothing else released for the thing that I am willing to fork out for. Apart from a port of an old Tales game, where are the RPGs? Where are the puzzle games and the turn-based strategy games that the DS was famous for? Instead of releasing an updated version of the hardware Nintendo should be focussing on getting some decent bloody games out. Reply +3
  • The Rise and Collapse of Yoshinori Ono

  • Mr.DNA 21/06/2012

    Simon Parkin has to be the greatest living video game journalist. Everything he does is spectacular. Reply +1
  • From Assets on VHS to Execs Going Mad and Journos in Jail: Eurogamer's E3 Memories

  • Mr.DNA 07/06/2012

    @kirinnokoshin Ah-ha, of course it was! Thanks. Reply 0
  • Mr.DNA 03/06/2012

    @Bulbatron Jaz and Rich ran the whole damn show! Along with Radion Automatic, Lucy Hickman, a Scottish bloke called Gus and a black guy with spectacles whose name escapes me. Reply +1
  • Sony's E3 2012 Conference

  • Mr.DNA 05/06/2012

    @cukydoh- I wonder why they stopped? Reply 0
  • Mr.DNA 05/06/2012

    So I'm not the only one who isn't seeing updates? Reply 0
  • Mr.DNA 05/06/2012

    This is tragic. Reply 0
  • App of the Day: Score! Classic Goals

  • Mr.DNA 28/05/2012

    The... proof is in the pudding, and the pudding in this case... is a football. BOOF! Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie... all over his shirt. Reply +1
  • Skyrim Steam mods hugely successful

  • Mr.DNA 04/05/2012


    "Love this game so much, no hand holding, no guiding just an awesome experience."

    I am a huge fan of Skyrim and Bethesda in general but, come on mate- "no hand holding"? The default settings furnish you with a quest marker at the top of the screen which guides you directly to whichever location you need to go to in order to progress. It's the definiton of hand-holding!
    Reply 0
  • Peter Molyneux: Why I quit Microsoft, and why my new game will change the world

  • Mr.DNA 11/04/2012

    Eurogamer, please stop giving this tremendously mediocre games developer a platform to spout his fantastical and egotistical nonsense. Reply -12