MoFo Comments

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  • Watch Dogs season pass includes new playable character

  • MoFo 09/04/2014

    Wow I remember when you could buy a full game for that price. Ooo....sorry I would go on but the nurse needs to change my nappy again. Reply +3
  • MSI GT70 2PE Dominator Pro with GTX 880M review

  • MoFo 06/04/2014

    It's great to see this kind of achievement but

    1) It's excruciatingly expensive
    2) It weighs a ton and is huge. I often wonder why bother buying a "laptop" over a desktop when it's so impractical to lug about. I can't imagine someone whipping this out at the airport to play some BF4 while they wait for their plane.
    3) I know I'm a whore to looks and I make no apologies but this thing looks particularly f'ugly.
    4) Play a game with this on your lap and not only will you cut off the blood circulation in your legs but you'll get third degree burns in the process.

    Still in a year we'll see cooler/smaller/better looking laptops with this kind of power and for a much lower price tag.
    Reply +31
  • Get Even gets virtual reality

  • MoFo 03/04/2014

    What's this Occulus Rift thing? I hear it's some Facebook add-on device that'll suck your soul and bleed your brain of all your thoughts? Reply 0
  • Chris Roberts: Star Citizen won't sell to a bigger company

  • MoFo 01/04/2014

    Sorry everyone. I've just sold out to Mr Patel's newsagent down the road. From now on all my comments will be interrupted by ***BUY YOUR LOCAL PAPER FROM PATEL'S NEWSAGENT. A PACKET OF ROLOS IS ONLY 50P MORE THAN YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL STORE AND NOT THE BIG BRAND SUPERMARKET CHAINS TODAY*** Reply 0
  • In pictures: the Watch Dogs floor

  • MoFo 07/03/2014

    @Deionarra

    From passed experience, Ubisoft thrive on analysing gameplay elements to death. What I often found was that if a certain design feature couldn't be found to fit in with the rest of the game or if it wasn't easy enough to understand for the dumbest of the dumb, they'd can it. That might sound sensible but the problem was how they came to that conclusion. It was all too analytical. They'd end up drawing ridiculous charts, stating such-and-such design element doesn't fit in so-and-so's box. So many charts. So many weird analytical approaches. No one would ever stand up and say, "But hey, that really kinda sounds like it'd be fun in the game."

    You end up with a design document that looks beautiful and when you read it, it sounds so logical and right. It's just there's no soul in it. Is a box the perfect shape for a house because it maximises all the available space? Maybe. But would you live in it?
    Reply +7
  • Naughty Dog bosses deny Uncharted director Amy Hennig was "forced out"

  • MoFo 07/03/2014

    Maybe she was forced out. Maybe they were responsible. Maybe she was crap at her job and deserved it. Maybe it was a giant underhand coup d'etat. Maybe 'maybe' means we haven't a clue. Reply +3
  • This is what Tropico 5 looks like

  • MoFo 06/03/2014

    Since Tropcio 3, I've not really felt the newer ones bring enough novelty and fresh gameplay to the table for me to enjoy it again. Played T3 to death though.

    Bringing in different time periods may help but if that's all they've done, I doubt I'll be picking it up.
    Reply +3
  • Banished review

  • MoFo 28/02/2014

    I've been following this game for the last year and was really looking forward to its release.

    Having now bought it and played it for a week, I'd have to say I mostly agree with the reviewer, although I'd probably give it a score starting at 9/10 and dropping to 7/10 over the next couple of weeks of play.

    It was nice to have a city building game in this style and I've enjoyed beating the challenge that is simply surviving. Yet once you've figured out how to maintain and slowly grow a city, there isn't really any more to it.

    Some kind of goal would be nice. "Build a boat to get away from this shit hole."

    Or some campaign set in America where you're slowly expanding your civilization westward, where each map presented a different challenge.

    There is the prospect of mods, tools for which are in development, so if you're not sure about this game now, I'd say check back in a few months to see if mods have diversified the game.
    Reply +6
  • GameStop selling Xbox One Titanfall bundle for £370

  • MoFo 25/02/2014

    I was briefly interested in getting an X1 after seeing Project Spark. Making your own games within a game and using Kinect to record your own animations for characters in your game. Sounded ace. Then I got in on the beta. Then I saw that Project Spark is all about micro transactions. Then I lost interest in X1 again. Reply +12
  • CandySwipe dev: King "taking the food out of my family's mouth"

  • MoFo 13/02/2014

    I just downloaded the full version purely so I could leave bad feedback for King, then uninstalled. Not sure how else to express my support for the original creator but it's the best I could think of doing. Reply +7
  • Watch Oculus Rift let people virtually swap bodies, genders

  • MoFo 23/01/2014

    Erm...this would make live video streaming porn amazing. I'll put a fiver on this being a thing within a few years. Reply +2
  • Eye-catching city-building strategy game Banished out next month

  • MoFo 10/01/2014

    If it's half as good as I hope then I'll be happy. Been waiting for something like this since my ancestors were but mere dinosaur embryos. Reply +5
  • Wintry survival sim Midwinter is getting a remake in 2015

  • MoFo 09/01/2014

    Oh wow. I always assumed I was the only person that ever heard of this game. No one I ever spoke to about it knew what I was blathering on about. I wonder if they'll retain the whole concept of jumping between characters and replaying the same two hour time period over and over from different perspectives. It was obviously a bit of a clumsy time-travel paradox but fun nonetheless. Reply 0
  • Eurogamer's Game of the Year 2013

  • MoFo 30/12/2013

    Congrats Mario.

    Personally though, I wish someone would cement his legs in concrete and chuck him in to the sea just over the Mariana trench. Mario and his pals just grate every nerve in my body. Oh those high-pitched squeaky excitable voices. Vomit.

    Now if they made a video game where Mario goes bankrupt, develops an alcohol problem, then goes on a crazed shooting frenzy, taking out all his old friends...now that's a Mario game I could enjoy. Or I could just play GTA or Max Payne I guess.

    Still, congrats Mario.

    P.S. Nearly forgot to add the obligatory:

    God, Eurogamer have really gone down in my estimation. How could they possibly vote this GOTY. I swear I'll never come back to Eurogamer ever again. etc.

    P.P.S Please do carry on down-voting me if you feel the need, but just so you know, this post is what is deemed "A joke". So for those not getting it, chill out guys, I'm not really going to kill Mario.
    Reply -19
  • Care for a next-gen medieval RPG with no fantasy?

  • MoFo 19/12/2013

    @Paul_cz Agree. Whenever I see a medieval game my thought process normally goes along the lines of:

    Thought 1: YES! Medieval game. Love it! Can't wait.

    Thought 2: (Reads more of preview) Oh it has magic. So it's just another fantasy game then. Sigh.

    Thought 3: Maybe I'll dig out my old Mount & Blade copy and give that another bash.

    Thought 4: (30 mins later) God this looks dated. Why won't someone make a modern medieval game?
    Reply +3
  • MoFo 19/12/2013

    Or show the shot of the chap on the hill first, then pan back out to show the carnage around him. Reply +1
  • MoFo 19/12/2013

    Gameplay trailer looks promising.

    The teaser trailer made me want to skewer myself and lie across an open fire until I'm nicely roasted. Way too over the top on the musical front. Overbearing with the big beating drums, trumpets and what not for a simple shot of a chap on a horse on a hill. If, on the other hand, we were witnessing a shot of a ferocious battle in full swing, or two armies charging towards each other with the footage ending just as they clash, now that would've been more epic in my opinion.
    Reply 0
  • The Chinese Room on its PS4-exclusive Everybody's Gone to the Rapture

  • MoFo 10/12/2013

    2 minute video. 25 seconds of actual "footage". The PR dogs have been let loose on this one. Reply -5
  • Hello Games debuts first-person action adventure No Man's Sky

  • MoFo 09/12/2013

    Wait what the...? Where did this come from? I've been dreaming of this kind of game for years. Fingers crossed it lives up to a even a morsel of my hopes. Reply +2
  • Retina iPad mini review

  • MoFo 04/12/2013

    I don't take issue with people saying, "I don't see a need for a laptop as I can do everything I need on my tablet". This is simply one person's opinion and it's perfectly true and valid for that individual.

    The issue I have is people who say, "Nobody needs laptops any more. Anyone who does still have a laptop only has one because they don't own a tablet and as soon as they get a tablet they'll see the error of their ways." Whilst this is still technically an opinion it's also someone stating something as a universal fact. It doesn't make it true and it makes someone look like they have a self-centred and limited view of the world.

    A lot of people have laptops and are perfectly happy with them. A lot of people have tablets and are perfectly happy with them. I can't personally see a situation where either one can totally trump the other, so long as either one has any kind of advantage over the other.
    Reply +2
  • MoFo 04/12/2013

    @CaptainKid

    Thanks. Someone with common sense. I have a tablet and a laptop. I rarely use my tablet at home. The laptop screen is bigger/nicer. It's faster/more powerful. The resolution is better. I can't do programming on my tablet. Even something simple like sending an email is easier/faster on a laptop. I find I'll get cramp using a tablet for an extended duration. The variety and depth of PC games are far better than anything you'll get on a tablet.

    Seriously, some people can't see beyond their own restrictive view of the world. Laptops aren't dead in the water, so long as there's a need to do anything faster,easier,better...etc.
    Reply +1
  • Now watch Sony's expensive-looking PS4 ad

  • MoFo 14/11/2013

    Meh.

    (I'm not a XBONE fanboy. That's just how I feel)
    Reply -8
  • Xbox One Snap lets you play video games and watch TV at the same time

  • MoFo 12/11/2013

    Not a big fan of all these XBone gimmicks but I can see this being useful if, like me, you enjoy watching football for the goals but the in between ball-bouncing-about stuff you find dull. So now I can play my games and any time I hear the commentator getting excited I can whip over to the footy.

    Alas the BBC doesn't really have any live footy and I'll never pay for Sky Sports, so ultimately it's not a feature I'll go for.
    Reply +3
  • 12 minute video shows us what it's like to use Xbox One

  • MoFo 08/11/2013

    I was watching this thinking it's kinda neat. But then I realised I'm not bothered by or don't like:
    1) Talking to my computer
    2) Having my dad Skyping me whilst I'm in the middle of something
    3) having a TV option that isn't even available in my country
    4) knowing what my friends are up to or them knowing what I'm up to
    5) recording footage from the game's I'm playing.

    I do, however, like the fact that I can pause a game and restart it instantly.

    What I do wish the Xbox could do:
    1) order me pizza
    2) order me hookers
    3) order me drugs

    Guess I'll hold out until the next next gen.
    Reply +40
  • Eurogamer's Games of the Generation: The top 50

  • MoFo 04/11/2013

    Not convinced by that number one spot. Only played it for a couple of hours and just had no enthusiasm to carry on. Surely the number one game should be so epic that it appeals to almost everyone.

    But hey, I don't really care ultimately.
    Reply +1
  • Ex-Valve engineers explain the CastAR's benefits over its competition

  • MoFo 31/10/2013

    So could I, in theory, loop a bunch of this reflective material around my head in order to create a 360 degree FOV? Say at 50cm distance around my head?

    I've tried Rift but sadly I suffer badly from dizziness and queeziness, but if I could do the above I reckon I'd be able to handle that.
    Reply +2
  • UK chart: Pokémon, Beyond fail to dislodge GTA 5

  • MoFo 14/10/2013

    @venasaur4

    "this is wrong everywhere I went people were buying the new pokemon games"

    Yo U totes right. I waz at a sex party last nite an all da boyz their wanted woz da bitch Pokemom game, insted of da pussy.

    Then I woz in da bushes in da park an all dem kiddies wanted from the ice cream man was pokemom again.

    EVERYWHERE!
    Reply -6
  • Is the most disturbing scene in GTA 5 justified?

  • MoFo 17/09/2013

    This just in: It's shocking that this game can let you torture people.

    Now back to the game...where was I? Oh yes I was running down and murdering innocent civilians without repercussion, killing animals, killing hundreds of gang members (they're people too you know), etc etc.

    Seriously, if you're going to start wearing this moralistic hat then surely GTA as a whole must sicken you?

    Let's not forget, murder and torture have been in movies for years. Do we come out of a movie saying, "This is disgusting! How can they justify showing that in a movie?"

    I've recently read on several sources that Eurogamer and this Tom chap have a bit of a thing against Rockstar since GTA IV. I sincerely hope that's not the case as it'd be a sad day for independent and unbiased reporting, which I've always held Eurogamer in high regard for.

    Either that or maybe Tom's a dad now(?) and his morals have shifted. As an older gamer and father myself, I know things I previously enjoyed no longer appeal. But disapproving of torture? Don't care in the least, because I don't see any underlying evil in its inclusion in the game. If I did, I'd be the first to subscribe to the Daily Mail.
    Reply -2
  • Grand Theft Auto 5 achievements leak

  • MoFo 19/08/2013

    @CaptainKid No you're not. I just don't get people's obsessions with achievements. I buy a game to enjoy the game for what it is. I couldn't care less for whatever achievement pops up. Now if achievements meant you got discounts on future games or had some other real-life benefit then I might feel differently. But as things are I pity all the people commenting on here getting so het up about it. It's like getting these achievements means more to them than enjoying the game. Reply +1
  • Zynga lost $15.8 million in the last three months

  • MoFo 26/07/2013

    Dear Zynga, looks like parents have figured out how to stop their kids from throwing away limitless amounts of cash on mobile apps. Here are some other ideas you could use that would fit your business model:

    1) Give away mobile phones to residents of old people's homes. Then every 10 minutes the phone will ring showing a caller ID of, "Son" or "Grandson". As soon as the phone is answered you'll connect them to a premium rate number.

    2) Create an app, "Keep my kids safe". Claim that the app will track your kids and inform the parent if anything out-of-ordinary has happened to them. Then repeatedly trigger an alarm on the parent's phone saying, "There's a pedophile in your neighborhood and we're having trouble locating you son. He might be getting molested as we speak. upgrade to the premium version now for £599/month which has a more powerful detection range and we'll be able to pinpoint where your son is."

    3) Start a dating site. Money for old rope.
    Reply +9
  • Steam introduces virtual trading card system

  • MoFo 24/06/2013

    I never got aboard the achievements bandwagon. This one looks pretty similar to the last one. I'll stick to my plodding donkey that just enjoys games and couldn't give a monkeys about all this reward nonsense. Reply +1
  • Microsoft restores game ownership and expects us to smile

  • MoFo 20/06/2013

    My only comment:

    Tom, don't be disappointed if your kids turn out not to give a flying fuck about your passion and all those old games you were so excitedly looking forward to showing them end up gathering dust in the attic.

    Give them the opportunity to enjoy those games and then embrace whatever it turns out they enjoy.

    This coming from a guy who's kid doesn't like Star Wars.
    Reply +1
  • Microsoft kills game ownership and expects us to smile

  • MoFo 07/06/2013

    @Alf-Life Just for the record, I do complain about Steam. I rarely buy a game on steam for two reasons. 1) I can't trade in. 2) The prices on Steam (sales promos excluded) are generally no cheaper and often more expensive than buying a physical copy a game. I know they offer a great service and I have no problem with Steam's existence, it's just personally I try not to support the model they're presenting us in its existing format. Same reason I won't be buying an Xbox One. Reply +1
  • Fleish & Cherry in Crazy Hotel brings back the 1930's animation aesthetic

  • MoFo 29/05/2013

    Good stuff Mr Red. Hope you've got plenty of cartoony special moves. I think it's a great idea to effectively make an interactive 30s cartoon. I paid up because my kid would love this. Any child that likes cartoons (err all of them) would be a great target audience, so hopefully you can get a good blend that'll please both adult and younger gamers. IF it's something we can both sit down and play together then all the better.

    And if this works out you...my God you've got a lot of cartoons and eras to pick from for endless sequels! Tom and Jerry here we come...err for legal reasons maybe "Toby and Jeremiah"

    P.S. Would love to have offered more than the base 8 euros but times are hard :(
    Reply +2
  • MoFo 29/05/2013

    Hope they make their target. I'd stump up some cash if I wasn't so skint and a tightwad.

    ***STOP THE PRESS***

    Fuck it. I just paid up. Good luck to em.
    Reply +3
  • Inside Watch Dogs, Ubisoft's new open world

  • MoFo 10/05/2013

    Not First. Reply +1
  • Chinese World of Tanks clone so similar it allegedly copies even historical inaccuracies and fictional tanks

  • MoFo 10/05/2013

    When's the PC version coming out? Reply 0
  • Sony definitively rules out always-online for PS4

  • MoFo 08/05/2013

    "Did we consider it? No, we didn't consider it,"
    "The main reason being that many countries don't have robust internet connections."
    They didn't consider it? If you have a "main reason" for something, surely that implies something has been considered? So in essence it would seem like they'd like to have done it if enough countries had a robust internet connection.
    Reply +5
  • Grand Theft Auto 5 shown off in three new trailers

  • MoFo 30/04/2013

    @bad09

    Listen. It's been said soooo many times. Do people honestly think that blindly asking nobody in particular for a PC release date is going to do anything. I mean anything whatsoever? People make the same comment over and over and over and over again. Yes I feel your pain and it's not that I don't agree with you but when you've read the same "When's the PC version coming out?" comment for the umpteenth time.... please. Just give it a rest.
    Reply +1
  • MoFo 30/04/2013

    For the love of God, will you PC owners stop whinging. It's seriously tiresome; we've heard it all before a gazillion times. Do you think your moaning will make the blindest bit of a difference to when the game comes out on PC? It'll come out when it's done on PC and when the console sales have dried up. You make me want to pick up this gun on my desk, point it to my head and Reply 0
  • Mirror's Edge footage shows off Oculus Rift support

  • MoFo 15/04/2013

    @Silvergun-Blue

    Thanks for that info. Good to know the y're being considerate like that.
    Reply 0
  • MoFo 15/04/2013

    You'll notice that the player always runs in the direction that the camera turns. There were many points in that video where the guy had turned to look one way and was then stuck having to keep his head turned that way in order to run forward. Reply +2
  • After children rack up huge bills, UK government announces investigation into "aggressive" in-app purchases

  • MoFo 12/04/2013

    Quite a few people blaming this on "Ignorant parents". Seriously? You know not everyone out there is a geek. There's no flashing bright text when you first turn on your phone that says, "Warning: some games have hidden in-app purchases. You really should set up a password or disable in-app purchases entirely. Like seriously. Do it now". It's only due to some high profile cases in the press that people are starting to become aware of this; or when they get stung by it themselves. I set up a password on my phone for buying any apps but I wasn't initially aware that I could do that when I first got it and I do consider myself a geek. I wasn't even initially aware that such a thing existed as in-app purchases (this is a few years back now). Even so, I'm still paranoid any time I hand my phone over to my daughter in case these sneaky app developers have figured out a way to bypass it.

    I personally think all phones should default to not allow any form of in-app purchase. If you want to allow them, you should then be forced to set up a password.

    Oh and thankfully I've taught my daughter, through bitter disappointment on her behalf, that when the little pop up message comes up asking if she wants to get extra smurf mushrooms, or however flowery they dress it up, she can't have any. Tough. Cry all you like. Now go draw a pretty picture on a piece of paper instead, dad wants to download porn.
    Reply +4
  • Microsoft creative director Adam Orth no longer with Microsoft

  • MoFo 11/04/2013

    I want to play games on the train / plane. Do I just have to "deal with it" Mr Ex Microsoft employee? Glad that's one less Always On obsessed dick working in the games industry. Reply +4
  • EA unveils Battlefield 4, powered by Frostbite 3, with 17-minute gameplay trailer

  • MoFo 27/03/2013

    Looks so amazing that it seemed really out of place when at around 5:45, man walks in puddle and there were no ripples in the water. Reply +2
  • Grand Theft Auto 5 images reveal in-game locations

  • MoFo 02/11/2012

    @SuperLlamaFarmer I love that idea. Reply 0
  • MoFo 02/11/2012

    I wish there was a way to ignore all the "Not for PC...not fair....I'm not buying" comments. Reply -2
  • How do you get a job in the game industry? "Give yourself one," Valve tells us

  • MoFo 29/09/2012

    A lot of the people I know who have jobs in GI did exactly what he says. They didn't have any qualifications in what they did, they just showed that they have the drive to do something about it. That's why they have jobs.

    And to those that say, "but what if you're a graphic artist, sound engineer, develop UIs, story-teller, etc", just read between the lines. You don't HAVE to make a game, you have to show that you have the drive to make and complete something relevant in your field.
    Reply 0
  • Lost Humanity 12: Zero Contribution

  • MoFo 13/09/2012

    Sorry I couldn't get passed the part where he has his exchange with his mum. The repeated use of the word "hing" was bugging me. Is this some new slang the youth use these days? I'm surprised this guy's "ma" didn't pick him up on it! "What're you saying dear? I don't understand you. What's a hing? Oh you young-uns these days! Now go wash your mouth out with soap and water."

    If this is indeed a spelling mistake then HOW THE HELL DID YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE THREE TIMES IN A ROW!!!!!!!1#1"!$[231l2gfmnvi234r
    Reply -4
  • Oculus Rift impressions: It's amazing until it makes you want to hurl

  • MoFo 06/09/2012

    So basically one paragraph talks about anything other than motion sickness. Sure I guess that's a deal breaker but you could've summed THAT up in one paragraph and the rest could've told us about what it COULD do for people that don't get motion sickness. I get motion sickness but I'd much rather read about whether this could be a cool piece of kit and what it can do right now. Reply +2