MoFo Comments

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  • Advertising Standards Authority warns YouTubers to flag promotional videos

  • MoFo 26/11/2014

    That Oreo video is amazing. I want to buy an Oreo right now. They're so delicious. Nothing else in the world tastes so good as Oreo. Oreo I want to marry you and let's have copious amounts of sex and create little baby Oreos which we'll then eat.

    Now where's my cheque you gorgeous Oreo marketing people?
    Reply +14
  • Elite: Dangerous ditches planned offline mode

  • MoFo 17/11/2014

    @EvilWaterman

    Not sure if you're being sarcastic. If not, presumably you weren't around when the first Elite came out. You know, when the internet essentially was non existent.
    Reply +16
  • MoFo 17/11/2014

    So if I want to play this on the regular 5 hour train journeys I make, I won't be able to? I hate the people who claim, "The internet is in everything as is always on." No really it's not. Planes, trains, shitty ISPs, power cuts, being overseas, etc. You know, there's this thing called a laptop that some people have. For me it's my only PC and it's on these train journeys that I get the most free time in my life to play games.

    #dontacceptit.
    Reply +23
  • Indigenous Alaskan platformer Never Alone gets stunning new launch trailer

  • MoFo 14/11/2014

    Looks gorgeous but only thing from that video that puts me off is it leaves me asking, "what is the gameplay challenge?"

    I see no puzzles. A lot of it seems to resolve around timed jumps or breaking stuff. Will there be more to it than that?

    Don't hate on me for asking. I would love to buy this game. The visuals are breathtaking. I just want reassurance that the gameplay will match up to that.
    Reply +2
  • Star Citizen first-person shooter gameplay unveiled

  • MoFo 03/11/2014

    If I play this game and am confronted with people using army speak over VoIP I will stuff very hungry piranhas in my ears to eat out my cochleas.

    Maybe I should stick to Elite to avoid that fate.
    Reply +15
  • Project Spark is pulling in two directions at once

  • MoFo 31/10/2014

    Sounds interesting Hobit but I was really hoping to make $100 / hour, so I'm out. Reply +3
  • MoFo 31/10/2014

    Tried this in the Beta on my laptop. Every time I wanted to use it I'd be greeted with a message along the lines of, "You need to log in with your Windows Live Account". So I'd go through the process of logging in to my Live account only to find that, from then on, my laptop startup and log-in was also forcibly switched to using Windows Live.

    F U C K T H A T.
    Reply -2
  • Facebook eyes 100m Oculus Rift sales

  • MoFo 30/10/2014

    VR Movies.

    *INVEST*
    Reply 0
  • Dev behind Paranautical Activity Steam storm resigns, apologises

  • MoFo 22/10/2014

    This guy should consider becoming a psychiatrist or therapist. He's clearly got a solid grasp of understanding human nature, control of his emotions and knows how to apply himself correctly within society. Reply +3
  • Video: Karma, rhinos and wrestling bears - let's talk Far Cry 4

  • MoFo 20/10/2014

    I was going to comment how this looks decidedly not next gen but if it's on PS3 I guess that'll explain it. Anyone know? I've no sound on PC so not sure if it says.

    And this quote: "and fewer games in recent years have had the ability to tell yarns quite as good as those spun by Far Cry 3"

    What? Have you played any video games in recent years?

    I'm in the midst of playing FC3 for the first time and the story is horrific. A whiny little git running around the island moaning to everyone he meets. "Why does no one understand me?", "I have to do this by myself!" Jeezus, every cutscene makes me cringe with the over abundance of clichés oozing out of every orifice. And a great yarn? When does this start then? I've just unlocked the second island. Does the yarn and great story telling begin there?

    Either the rose tinted glasses have clouded your memory or this comment has been provided straight from the Ubisoft marketing team.

    Give me The Last of Us or GTA V any day over this drivel.

    I have a feeling I'm going to be downvoted by other rose-tinted spectacled gamers. So be it.
    Reply -2
  • Video: How not to co-op in Far Cry 4

  • MoFo 16/10/2014

    Looks somewhat disappointing after the previous video showing a stunning mountain scene. That one made it look like you'd experience travelling over full on mountains. This video makes it look like you'll get to travel over gentle rolling hills and leaves me wondering if the previous video was a one-off heavily scripted mission location.. Anyone else also notice how the more hilly areas were "clouded over" when the map was brought up? I'm betting anything beyond a gentle incline will be off limits. Reply +1
  • Chris Roberts unveils Star Citizen planetside gameplay

  • MoFo 13/10/2014

    @drip He says in the video that they're using a semi-procedural approach that is aimed at allowing them to retain that level of detail across the universe.

    Unless they're doing something extremely smart, I imagine things will take on a repetitive look fairly rapidly.

    What I'm interested in is if they'll be doing something smart with procedural building architecture and city layout.
    Will every workshop you enter have the same layout or will they all have a unique layout, just cleverly reusing the available 3D assets?
    Reply +11
  • Ex-BioShock devs reveal survival sim The Flame in the Flood

  • MoFo 08/10/2014

    Looks intriguing but I do believe she has possibly the most pointless and ineffectual torch in video game history. Reply 0
  • Project Spark leaves beta, boxed Starter Pack disc detailed

  • MoFo 07/10/2014

    Tried this out in the beta and thought it was fun. My main gripe was the "programming" setup which is fully visually done with a pleasant looking GUI. It seems really simple at first, just combine multiple instructions such as:

    Enemy -> IF -> player in area -> attack

    The problem is, I got frustrated with things that seemed like a logical combination in my head but obviously weren't how the game needed the instructions to be and often I couldn't figure out how I was meant to do it. For example, if you wanted an object to move in direction y, would you "apply force along y axis for x time", "move object at velocity in y direction for x seconds", "make object move forward with speed x for y seconds", etc. None of these seemingly obvious methods would work and you had to end up doing something more obscure. Also, you could combine many of the above in to different orders, "Apply force to x for y seconds", "For y seconds apply force to x", "For y seconds, with object x, apply force" and maybe only one of them would work. Or none of them, as I more than often would discover.

    Yes you could probably look up solutions online, but if you're going to make a system that seems like it was intended to be easy and intuitive....bloody well make it easy and intuitive! I ended up finding for around 2/3 of the things I wanted to do I would end up getting stuck trying out multiple solutions.
    Reply +2
  • Kickstarter games in 2014 are making less than half what they did last year

  • MoFo 02/10/2014

    I've looked through Kickstarter gaming projects twice in the last couple of months. Both times I came away thinking, "What a load of tosh." Perhaps there's a downturn because the guys that had good ideas have got them funded in the initial wave of enthusiasm and are now busy working on them. What's left is the dribs and drabs of ideas that don't quite cut the mustard. Reply +1
  • Nvidia GeForce GTX 970 review

  • MoFo 24/09/2014

    Am I the only one that looked at these anti-aliasing comparisons for a while before giving up and accepting I see no difference whatsoever in them? Easily pleased I guess. Reply +16
  • Steam Discovery update personalises video game shopping

  • MoFo 23/09/2014

    FINALLY!!! Praise the Gaming God. Now when I browse through a list of games, select a game to view and then hit the back button, it now takes you back to the page you were previously browsing rather than back to page 1.

    How many years did it take them to figure that one out!!!!
    Reply +5
  • Kickstarter updates Terms for successful-then-cancelled projects

  • MoFo 22/09/2014

    I really don't see what all the fuss is about. If I back something on Kickstarter it's based on the presumed risk that the project may never come to fruition. If I wasn't comfortable with that risk I wouldn't give them my money. The simple fact is though, we've seen a lot of great Indie games coming out that wouldn't have stood a chance without Kickstarter. For that reason, long may it continue, warts and all. Reply +2
  • Minecraft, architecture and the trouble with children

  • MoFo 15/09/2014

    I kinda did the opposite to one of my daughter's homes in minecraft. A lovely tree house she'd built spread across multiple trees but I figured you'd need to keep warm at night in it right? So I added a fireplace. And then just for added effect wouldn't my daughter be so chuffed with me if the fireplace actually worked? See where this is going?

    She wasn't really gone all that long but it's amazing how quickly the fire spread and I don't think there was anything in the tree house that wasn't made of wood.
    Reply +2
  • Steam and Early Access: To curate or not curate?

  • MoFo 06/08/2014

    I think Steam needs a smarter method to allow you to discover the kind of games you like. I like strategy games but that doesn't mean I want to wade through every game that's classified as strategy. Let me narrow it down (WWII, Sci-fi, etc) Then let me filter out games with a user review less than <70%. Then let me filter out games I've already searched for and previously dismissed. Then allow me to prioritise games with those of people that have similar tastes to me. Then let me search for keywords. Then let me look specifically for turn-based games. OH and games that are rated high graphically as well prioritising games that people have downloaded and played for more than five minutes.

    There's a wealth of potential search options that'd help me get to the kind of games I'd like to play but instead all I get is to search a broad category and wade through page after page of titles.

    Not to mention that when I open a game's page and then return to the category page, it takes me back to the first page of results so I have to wade through all the pages again to get to where I had previously browsed to. WTF!
    Reply +5
  • Yogventures studio reveals troubled development, how Yogscast "lost faith" early on

  • MoFo 21/07/2014

    Wait, who in their right mind agrees to pay someone $35k up front? Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone even think this was a good idea in the first place? There's such a thing called a "salary". It's pretty common and tends to work really well. Guess this guy never heard of that term before and opted for the less commonly used, "give someone loads of money with no strings attached" approach. Reply +9
  • Peculiar Skullgirls message confuses, catches those who pirate the game

  • MoFo 10/07/2014

    Some people wish to counter this by saying, "Yeah but sometimes I will pirate a game just to trial it and I'll buy it if it's good."

    I used to say that too. Then I realised I'd finished quite a few pirated games and NEVER bought them. I was just saying it to convince myself that what I was doing was justified and that it was the dev's fault for not making a demo or that I'd been burned too many times before by games I'd paid for that turned out to be crap.

    The reality: I just didn't want to pay for them.

    It's all good now though, cos: Steam!!!
    Reply +12
  • EA responds to fan outcry over The Sims 4 missing features

  • MoFo 08/07/2014

    @Twisted_Firestarter

    With you on that. I've not bought an EA or Ubisoft game in over five years. Between DLC, "always online" and insanely crippling anti-piracy measures, I just can't be bothered. Besides, I find Indie games always offer fresher more original gaming anyway.
    Reply +3
  • MoFo 08/07/2014

    Hilarious. I can't decide if they genuinely think we're fooled by this nonsense knowing full well this'll be a DLC purchase, or if they've just entered a new phase of uber-trolling us and they just don't give a shit.

    "Hey guys, ah yeah we found that getting Sims to eat in-game was just way beyond the technical capabilities of modern technology, so we...uh....just dropped that aspect from the game. So all ya Sims are gonna drop dead after a couple of days. Nah the game won't suck because of this....well at least for the first 10 minutes of gameplay."

    Later...

    "Oh hey guys, we're happy to announce the all new "I'm hungry" food eating DLC out NOW! Did we say that wasn't possible? Really? I've no idea what you're talking about. Now where's your MONEY? GIMME GIMME GIMME!!"
    Reply +8
  • How No Man's Sky stole the show at E3

  • MoFo 26/06/2014

    @Physically_Insane

    I believe what he's saying is Minecraft wasn't "designed" for the ~Youtube generation, it was just a game that happened to be picked up by Youtubers. Whilst this game is being intentionaly designed with Youtube in mind.
    Reply 0
  • MSI Nightblade review

  • MoFo 22/06/2014

    I would love a small form factor PC but I hate the fact that the design always has to look testosterone injected. I'm a guy but that doesn't mean I want something that looks like a school boy's hard-on inducing vision of the future. Just give me a subtle device that I can discretely tuck away somewhere please.

    Any case recommendations that'd fit that billing are greatly appreciated.
    Reply +19
  • Editor's blog: I am sexist

  • MoFo 20/06/2014

    @Eisenstein

    You say, "However it's incredibly frustrating to see men flip their shit about some really, really basic feminist critique that's neither radical nor aggressive .... If you can't deal with this tame stuff, how would you react if you read some radical feminism that's not calling for toning it down, but for a complete dismantling and rebuilding of society?"

    I don't see many people here flipping their shit here but rather questioning whether Tom's points equate to sexism at all. Should we just accept what Tom says? IF someone claims my actions are sexist should I just say, "yes you're right. My bad."

    From the tone of Tom's article I come away with the feeling that he is going to spend the rest of his days questioning every one of his actions....should I step on to the zebra crossing now or wait until a car drives up with a male driver in case I'm considered sexist for causing a female driver to stop for me? I won't join that queue in the checkout because if I'm standing behind a woman she might fill ill at ease with me behind her.

    Yes these examples are sexist in themselves but that's exactly how this article comes across to me.

    If men need to pussy foot around every thought and process going through our minds to rid ourselves of any potential sexist actions, isn't that sexist against women? Sounds to me like we'd be assuming women are so incapable of being able to deal with the slightest non-equal thought that we have to change everything we do in order to protect them. Because what....they're too weak a species to handle it?

    That is what this article boils down to to me. Tom thinks women are too weak to handle differences between men and women so he's decided to change his ways in order to protect them.

    Poor weak women.

    P.S. I have a daughter. She's strong minded, strong willed and is going to be a force to be reckoned with when she's older. Do I feel I need to analyse the smallest details in the world for fear that it may negatively depict women and so be unfair on my daugther? Nope. I'm confident she'll be able to handle things just fine.

    Oh and yes of course we need to ensure men and women have equal opportunities where appropriate. I'm not arguing against that. But I do hope my daughter will grow up in a sane world where we're all able to freely express our creativity and continue to create games that'll appeal to just men or just women or a mixture of both.
    Reply +15
  • MoFo 19/06/2014

    Any female perspectives here? Should we ban this hog-tie scenarios? Or ensure you can hog-tie a man or a women? Even if it's based on replicating a famous movie scene, should we ignore that aspect? Reply 0
  • Assassin's Creed Unity is a backward step for progressive games

  • MoFo 12/06/2014

    "rather than doing the astonishingly obvious thing they should do instead, which is fix it."

    Yeah sure, let's just fix it up. Should only take a few minutes to pop some female avatars back in the game. Piece of cake right? I mean hell Tom, it's probably just as simple a fix as switching the bMakeSexistGame bool back to FALSE?

    Seriously someone with your experience in gaming should know these things aren't easy, even if they are "astonishingly obvious"

    My God, this is the first time in my life I've taken the side of Ubisoft. Someone crucify me please.
    Reply +4
  • Destiny time-lapse: world in motion

  • MoFo 11/06/2014

    Also, adding to the cloud comments, in the shot from 2:38 there's ground level mist(?) drifting across the city in opposite directions. Surely something like that must be simple to get right. Reply 0
  • Forget E3 press conferences, sometimes Cliffhorse is all you need

  • MoFo 10/06/2014

    I've nothing to say.

    And yet I just did.

    Weird.
    Reply +3
  • FIFA World Cup game reckons Germany will win the World Cup

  • MoFo 05/06/2014

    @stevengibb

    Sorry what was that? Too busy watching the 1966 reruns.

    Edit: for the record I lived in Scotland for 10 years. Love the Scots but by god do they have a chip on their shoulder over 1966.
    Reply 0
  • MoFo 05/06/2014

    @stevengibb

    Nah, England will win having scored 1966 goals. The players will do 1966 laps of honour around the stadium. They'll then fly to Scotland and spend the next 1966 years rubbing in the Scot's faces.

    Oh and not forgetting the Yes vote will lose by 1966 votes and Scotland will then submit to having every house on every street renumbered to 1966, starting with yours!!!

    Oh and the commentators in the world cup will mention the 1966 world cup 1966 times. I think we can both agree on that.
    Reply -2
  • Ultra Street Fighter 4 review

  • MoFo 03/06/2014

    BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH .... you win!

    I don't really like Street Fighter.

    Edit: Ha ha bring the downvotes! I'm trolling you fools!
    Reply -31
  • How Firaxis is building its Civilization: Beyond Earth

  • MoFo 20/05/2014

    Having played the civ franchise to death, whenever I try and start a new game and look at that settler and warriors waiting there for my orders, I just feel utterly deflated and unenthusiastic. I think I'm just worn out with the whole mechanics of the game. Sadly I get the feeling this new game isn't really going to stray too far from the tried and tested mechanics of old. Sure, a few new bells and whistles; the odd tweak here and there and some fancy new terms for what essentially amounts to the same underlying system.

    Maybe I just feel jaded. I just wish some other developer would present us with an alternative civilization like game with an entirely fresh approach.
    Reply +1
  • Google eyes $1bn YouTube buy-out of Twitch

  • MoFo 19/05/2014

    I don't even know what Twitch is. Sounds like you just watch gaming videos or something? Am I missing something? I prefer to play games personally. Reply -1
  • The fall of Towns

  • MoFo 09/05/2014

    They needed a good accountant if a $2 mill revenue translated to "there wasn't enough to live off". Reply +17
  • Watch Dogs season pass includes new playable character

  • MoFo 09/04/2014

    Wow I remember when you could buy a full game for that price. Ooo....sorry I would go on but the nurse needs to change my nappy again. Reply +3
  • MSI GT70 2PE Dominator Pro with GTX 880M review

  • MoFo 06/04/2014

    It's great to see this kind of achievement but

    1) It's excruciatingly expensive
    2) It weighs a ton and is huge. I often wonder why bother buying a "laptop" over a desktop when it's so impractical to lug about. I can't imagine someone whipping this out at the airport to play some BF4 while they wait for their plane.
    3) I know I'm a whore to looks and I make no apologies but this thing looks particularly f'ugly.
    4) Play a game with this on your lap and not only will you cut off the blood circulation in your legs but you'll get third degree burns in the process.

    Still in a year we'll see cooler/smaller/better looking laptops with this kind of power and for a much lower price tag.
    Reply +32
  • Get Even gets virtual reality

  • MoFo 03/04/2014

    What's this Occulus Rift thing? I hear it's some Facebook add-on device that'll suck your soul and bleed your brain of all your thoughts? Reply 0
  • Chris Roberts: Star Citizen won't sell to a bigger company

  • MoFo 01/04/2014

    Sorry everyone. I've just sold out to Mr Patel's newsagent down the road. From now on all my comments will be interrupted by ***BUY YOUR LOCAL PAPER FROM PATEL'S NEWSAGENT. A PACKET OF ROLOS IS ONLY 50P MORE THAN YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL STORE AND NOT THE BIG BRAND SUPERMARKET CHAINS TODAY*** Reply 0
  • In pictures: the Watch Dogs floor

  • MoFo 07/03/2014

    @Deionarra

    From passed experience, Ubisoft thrive on analysing gameplay elements to death. What I often found was that if a certain design feature couldn't be found to fit in with the rest of the game or if it wasn't easy enough to understand for the dumbest of the dumb, they'd can it. That might sound sensible but the problem was how they came to that conclusion. It was all too analytical. They'd end up drawing ridiculous charts, stating such-and-such design element doesn't fit in so-and-so's box. So many charts. So many weird analytical approaches. No one would ever stand up and say, "But hey, that really kinda sounds like it'd be fun in the game."

    You end up with a design document that looks beautiful and when you read it, it sounds so logical and right. It's just there's no soul in it. Is a box the perfect shape for a house because it maximises all the available space? Maybe. But would you live in it?
    Reply +7
  • Naughty Dog bosses deny Uncharted director Amy Hennig was "forced out"

  • MoFo 07/03/2014

    Maybe she was forced out. Maybe they were responsible. Maybe she was crap at her job and deserved it. Maybe it was a giant underhand coup d'etat. Maybe 'maybe' means we haven't a clue. Reply +3
  • This is what Tropico 5 looks like

  • MoFo 06/03/2014

    Since Tropcio 3, I've not really felt the newer ones bring enough novelty and fresh gameplay to the table for me to enjoy it again. Played T3 to death though.

    Bringing in different time periods may help but if that's all they've done, I doubt I'll be picking it up.
    Reply +3
  • Banished review

  • MoFo 28/02/2014

    I've been following this game for the last year and was really looking forward to its release.

    Having now bought it and played it for a week, I'd have to say I mostly agree with the reviewer, although I'd probably give it a score starting at 9/10 and dropping to 7/10 over the next couple of weeks of play.

    It was nice to have a city building game in this style and I've enjoyed beating the challenge that is simply surviving. Yet once you've figured out how to maintain and slowly grow a city, there isn't really any more to it.

    Some kind of goal would be nice. "Build a boat to get away from this shit hole."

    Or some campaign set in America where you're slowly expanding your civilization westward, where each map presented a different challenge.

    There is the prospect of mods, tools for which are in development, so if you're not sure about this game now, I'd say check back in a few months to see if mods have diversified the game.
    Reply +5
  • GameStop selling Xbox One Titanfall bundle for £370

  • MoFo 25/02/2014

    I was briefly interested in getting an X1 after seeing Project Spark. Making your own games within a game and using Kinect to record your own animations for characters in your game. Sounded ace. Then I got in on the beta. Then I saw that Project Spark is all about micro transactions. Then I lost interest in X1 again. Reply +12
  • CandySwipe dev: King "taking the food out of my family's mouth"

  • MoFo 13/02/2014

    I just downloaded the full version purely so I could leave bad feedback for King, then uninstalled. Not sure how else to express my support for the original creator but it's the best I could think of doing. Reply +7
  • Watch Oculus Rift let people virtually swap bodies, genders

  • MoFo 23/01/2014

    Erm...this would make live video streaming porn amazing. I'll put a fiver on this being a thing within a few years. Reply +2
  • Eye-catching city-building strategy game Banished out next month

  • MoFo 10/01/2014

    If it's half as good as I hope then I'll be happy. Been waiting for something like this since my ancestors were but mere dinosaur embryos. Reply +5
  • Wintry survival sim Midwinter is getting a remake in 2015

  • MoFo 09/01/2014

    Oh wow. I always assumed I was the only person that ever heard of this game. No one I ever spoke to about it knew what I was blathering on about. I wonder if they'll retain the whole concept of jumping between characters and replaying the same two hour time period over and over from different perspectives. It was obviously a bit of a clumsy time-travel paradox but fun nonetheless. Reply 0