Jamash Comments

  • Meet the man camping for a month to get the Nintendo Switch

  • Jamash 24/02/2017

    If he wants to be the first person in North America to get it, why is he waiting outside on the East coast when the shipment will most likely be arriving by sea from the West and Nintendo's main US distribution centre is also located in the Pacific Northwest?

    It seems like there will be a awful lot of other interested parties between where the shipment is arriving and where he is choosing to wait for it...
    Reply 0
  • Lindsay Lohan's Grand Theft Auto lawsuit rules in Rockstar's favour

  • Jamash 02/09/2016

    Lindsey Lohan and Lacey Jonas.
    The woman in red bikini used in the promotional artwork isn't the character Lacey Jonas, she's just the latest woman in Rockstar's tradition of using fictitious woman who don't actually appear in the game (or at least don't appear as unique encountered characters) as promotional artwork, just like Lola Del Rio/'Lollipop Girl' from GTA IV, or the unnamed mystery woman used in the promotional artwork for Red Dead Redemption.

    You could find any number of randomly generated female NPCs who more closely match the bikini woman used in the artwork than Lacey Jonas, but who blatantly aren't Lacey Jonas because they don't look like the Lacey Jonas character and don't have the same voice actor.

    The blatant mistake of not knowing which character is which and then asserting that one character is an entirely unrelated character, made the dismissal of this lawsuit a foregone conclusion before it even reached court. It would be like the Ford Motor Company suing Rockstar on the basis that the Vapid Sadler infringes on their Ford F250 truck, but then using an image of the Bravado Bison as their evidence.

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  • Watch: Six things we want from Red Dead Redemption 2

  • Jamash 06/07/2016

    I agree that the soundtrack is great and I think it's one of the best in video game history, but do you really want it to be 5 times as long?

    The full soundtrack (as ripped directly from the game data rather than the officially released soundtrack) is already 19 hours and 46 minutes long and spread over 263 separate tracks, so wouldn't almost 100 hours of music be asking for a bit much, even for such talented musicians and composers as Bill Elm & Woody Jackson (and all the other talented musicians they drafted in to contribute to the soundtrack)?
    Reply +2
  • Here's Fallout 4's Chryslus Rocket '69 car, in Forza 6

  • Jamash 14/04/2016

    @brider There's more than 3 uses of that piece of innuendo in just the GTA series alone:


    Although I'm not convinced every single use of the number is a direct reference, and I'm also not sure if it's prevalence in the GTA series counts as just one reoccurring use or not.

    Still, it must be somewhat overused to have its own (gaming) Wiki page.

    However, if the car's model year is a reference to the innuendo number, is the car's name and colour also a reference to the slang term "Red Rocket"?
    Reply 0
  • Hitman episodes may fall behind their monthly schedule

  • Jamash 05/04/2016

    So first they start working with The Chuckle Brothers and now their work is behind scheduled and won't be delivered on time?

    I'm shocked, absolutely shocked. Nobody could have seen that coming, no, not at all...
    Reply +9
  • Lindsay Lohan's Grand Theft Auto lawsuit gets ugly

  • Jamash 15/03/2016

    But the actress refused to back down, and added a 45-page dossier of GTA5 advertising and promotional images featuring the Lacey Jonas character plastered across billboards and buses, T-shirts, posters and coffee mugs.

    Lohan's lawyers have pointed to GTA5's disc artwork which features Jonas prominently.
    Compiling that 45 page dossier seems like an awful waste of time in light of the simple fact that the woman in the red bikini is not Lacey Jonas (and was never stated or implied to be the Lacey Jonas character), but is in fact the latest in a long line of mysterious and unspecified drawn women that Rockstar uses for promotional artwork but who don't physically appear as NPCs in the actual game.

    Lacey Jonas appears in the game during a random encounter as a vacuous self-obsessed airhead who doesn't look like the bikini woman in the artwork, but who is such an unlikable and idiotic character that even though she may be a chimera of Lohan and other similar starlets of her ilk, only a true idiot would try and lay claim to and trademark such an unlikable character and personality traits.
    Reply +21
  • Sony is trying - and failing - to trademark "Let's Play"

  • Jamash 28/01/2016

    Sony should be sneaky and try to trademark "Ret's Pray" instead. Reply -4
  • Forza Motorsport 6's weather and night racing aren't dynamic

  • Jamash 16/06/2015

    As a long time Forza fan, I'm actually relieved at this news, as it means they won't be sacrificing graphic fidelity, framerate and the core Forza experience for gimmicky inferior track and racing conditions.

    Dynamic night racing and weather may look visually impressive with the reflected lights and shiny surfaces, but if it was gameplay option I would turn it off anyway since it's not worth the sacrifice of poorer visibility and traction, let alone all computational sacrifices needed to render all the extra reflections and wet surfaces.

    Other games in the genre may have had dynamic weather and daylight on older consoles, but the graphics and framerate notoriously tanked whenever that came into play and for a game such as this, consistent framerate and graphics are more important than dynamic visual effects.

    Even Forza 5 had difficulties maintaining consistent car and trackside LOD without dynamic weather and daylight, so I'm much rather they focused on improving and optimising the core game engine before adding resource hungry gimmicks which add very little to the core game experience and aren't worth the trade-off.

    Perhaps once Turn 10 have fully optimised their game engine to run on the new hardware without any other problems and inconsistencies, then they can try to squeeze even more out of the Xbox One and add dynamic weather and daylight in Forza 7, if there's enough overhead left to implement it without detracting from other, more important areas.
    Reply -1
  • Dynasty Warriors 8 Empires review

  • Jamash 03/03/2015

    Does this game have an English language voice track, or is it only in Japanese like some of the other more recent titles?

    You would assume that because the review makes no mention of this important detail (which is a deal-breaker to many fans of the series), the game would be in English like most other games, but it would be good to get clarification because personally I don't speak Japanese and the hammy English voice overs of the series is a large part of the appeal, all of the characters had individual character in the English version, whereas the Japanese just sounds like monotone gobbledygook repeating the same stock phrases for each character to my ears and is a massive turn off (and apparently the quality and quantity of the writing in the Japanese version is a lot poorer with less unique lines and characters, so even if you can understand Japanese it's still the poorer option).
    Reply 0
  • Rich Stanton on: GTA's growing pains

  • Jamash 13/12/2014

    The prostitutes are part of a wider theme in 'equal opportunity offender' GTA, where every female character is either a screeching harridan, a whacked-out crack whore or a bouncy piece of eye candy.
    I see comments to this affect quite a lot levelled against GTA V, and not only it's blatantly untrue (as there are more female characters in the game that don't fit into these few archetypes than there are females who do), but it makes me wonder what is it about the people who makes these types of criticisms that makes then unable to see any female characters who aren't prostitutes, strippers, harridans, drug addicts or mere pieces of eye-candy?

    It's like some people have a kind of tunnel vision that makes them only notice the minority of negative female characters in the game and actively ignore the majority of neutral or positive female characters who aren't interesting or controversial.
    Reply +7
  • Grappling is one of the oldest sports in the world - so why can't video games do it properly?

  • Jamash 10/08/2014

    I think the problem with grappling in MMA games is that you'll never be able to recreate it well using the analogue sticks (especially when the perspective can change in a moment), and as a consequence of this, games that have attempted to do so, such as THQ's UFC games and the latest EA UFC game, have failed and ended up with an ambitious, yet ineffective and over complicated grappling system.

    Conversely, my favourite MMA games of all time, Pride FC and EA MMA, relegated grappling, passes and grappling counters to face buttons, which did simplify it a lot, but also freed up your fingers, button allocations and mental attention for the other side of the grappling game, i.e. positioning, timing and using strikes to open up people's defences.

    Having grappling assigned to the face buttons may seem simpler and dumbed down, but I think that at the skill level of the fighters you're controlling in these games, they should be able to initiate transitions as easily as pressing the button, rather than clam up and have a brain freeze because the person controlling them has complete a meta game of fingertip gymnastics. It's like in racing games, changing gear is pretty simple when relegated to 2 face buttons, but it's better than having the user mimic the movement of a 6 position gear stick with the analogue stick.

    An interesting supplement to this article would be a direct comparison between EA MMA and EA UFC and see how the vastly different approaches to similar controls has a big effect on the gameplay and experience of the games.

    Personally, I found that EA MMA's use of the right analogue stick for 'Total Strike Control' and grappling to the face buttons allowed for a much smoother and enjoyable MMA game experience.
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  • As console ban lifts, China reveals "hostile" games block

  • Jamash 13/01/2014

    I assume this means that any games with User Generated Content will be banned.

    If not, what's to stop exiled dissidents and foreign mischief makers from, for example, making 'Free Tibet' car liveries in Forza and corrupting the Party's youth?

    Also, doesn't China have some sort of ban on Skeletons or the Undead? I could see that restriction automatically excluding a large swath of games from day 1.

    I wonder how the Dynasty Warriors series conforms with the Chinese government's outlook of their own nation's history and whether the already heavily fictionalised storyline would have to be revised even more to be more acceptable (or maybe they'll just insist that a time-travelling Chairman Mao be added as an exclusive, God tier character who instantly unites the nation by defeating all the Three Kingdoms and other factions at once in a glorious revolution).
    Reply +2
  • Sony announces game streaming service PlayStation Now

  • Jamash 08/01/2014

    I can already see the Eurogamer tagline for every time the PSN goes down for maintenance or Playstation Now fails to deliver.

    "Playstation Nowt".
    Reply 0
  • Microsoft slammed for sexist Xbox One ad

  • Jamash 27/11/2013

    With all the drop down options you can change certain words to, you can make it seem a lot worse and a whole lot weirder than just "sexist".

    Hey sugar daddy,

    Not sure if you’ve heard, but Xbox One is now available. That means we can start playing games like Crimson Dragon. I know, I know. You’d rather wash the dog than watch me get sweaty, but hear me out on this. Xbox One is actually for both of us. Seriously.

    I put together a list of reasons why the console could benefit you and me—together and apart, but mostly together:

    1. Games! Maybe you don’t LOVE games like I do, but there’s really something for everyone. While I’m playing Crimson Dragon, you might like dance games. And since you were just begging me to dance, I’m willing to play Xbox Fitness just for you. It’s a win-win!

    2. Entertainment for both of us. You love movies and I love music. Well, with the Xbox One, we can love both. We can catch your favorite band AND check out my favorite team. Just think of all this togetherness we're going to experience. It’s gonna be awesome!

    3. It will help us get fit. The console offers Xbox Fitness free with Xbox Live Gold through December 2014* so I can get bikini body you've always dreamed of, while working out to Tracy Anderson.

    4. Play with others. You’ve been encouraging me to hang out with your friends and it just so happens that Xbox One has the best multiplayer service that finds like-minded gamers with Smart Match. So don’t you worry. If we get an Xbox One, I’ll be hanging out with your friends in no time.

    5. We can talk on Skype with your creepy uncle whom, of course, I love dearly. Heck, we can even talk to them while we watch your favorite movie.

    So what do you say? Let’s be like an awesome movie montage—just me, you, and my our Xbox One—together at last.


    p.s. Did I mention how beautiful you are? And how I really appreciate that you sing me to sleep?

    p.p.s If (or should I say when) we get Xbox One, you have dibs on the first show that we experience together.

    p.p.p.s Long story short: I really, really, really want one for the holidays—y’know... for us.
    Reply +8
  • Yes, Gran Turismo 6 has micro-transactions

  • Jamash 19/11/2013

    Does this mean Sony are going to take a firm stance against car duping and using save editors?

    Why would anyone give Sony real money for in-game credits and cars when they could just conjure them out of thin air with a bit of hex editing jiggery-pokery?
    Reply +4
  • Rockstar warns: don't install GTA 5 Xbox 360 "play" disc

  • Jamash 17/09/2013

    What are the implications of this on any future DLC Episodes in the style of The Lost and the Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony?

    Presumably any future DLC would need to be installed onto the same HDD and the content from Disc 1, so wouldn't that run into the same problems caused by the game accessing two lots of data from one source?
    Reply 0
  • Sony execs respond to #PS4NoDRM online campaign

  • Jamash 28/05/2013

    If only we had Twitter 10 years ago.

    The all powerful and policy changing Hastags #SonyNoSecuROM, #SonyNoRootkitOnMusicCDs and #SonyNoSueMe would have saved so many people so much bother.
    Reply 0
  • Elder Scrolls Online: "You can compete with your friends to catch the biggest fish"

  • Jamash 17/05/2013

    Will Argonian players be able to grief people who are fishing by swimming underwater and stealing their bait or taking the fish before they get hooked?

    I do hope Rogues with underwater breathing will be able to place some kind of bomb or trap onto people's hooks.

    I have a feeling that Anglers in TES Online will be like the "Flower Pickers" of Red Dead Redemption's free-roam, innocent people who become targeted and victimised by players wanting to disrupt their harmless side-activity in any way possible... although the possibilities for griefing anglers could be almost limitless fun, from simply "bumping" them off the pier, to casting Shock at the water or fishing line, or even swimming underwater and summoning some kind of Daedra fish.
    Reply +9
  • This is what top-level COD competition ****ing looks like

  • Jamash 21/03/2013

    What was the point of them all wearing headsets and mics when they were all sat next to each other, in the same room, and shouting loud enough to be heard down the street?

    I can imagine all they would have heard was a cacophony of their own voices being pick up by the mics of their opponents sat 10 feet away, which would have made them even more disorientated and feel the need to raise their voices even more.

    If nobody wore headsets and mics, then nobody would need to shout as much as they did, but instead we were treated to a group of angry teenagers being assaulted by their own voices and shouting back at themselves.
    Reply +3
  • Newell: living room-friendly PC Steam packages to compete with next-gen consoles

  • Jamash 10/12/2012

    Steam Support has suspended this Steam Box.

    You will not be able to access this Steam Box until you accept the new Steam Subscriber Agreement.

    Please read this agreement in its entirety. You must agree with the terms of the Steam Subscriber Agreement to continue.

    Reply +6
  • Dark Souls 2 officially announced

  • Jamash 08/12/2012

    First Demon Souls, then Dark Souls... I wonder what they're going to call this one.

    It will have to be name that implies a progressive sense of peril and danger, that suggests the fate of everyone's soul is at stake this time around...

    I've got it. They should call it: Our Souls.
    Reply 0
  • Tattooist sues THQ for replicating UFC fighter's ink without permission

  • Jamash 27/11/2012

    EA MMA had to release a patch that removed (or blocked access) to a lot of it's Create-a-Fighter options, namely heads, stances, announced forenames, surnames and nicknames (or combinations of) and tattoos, that could be used to create a fighter that resembled UFC fighters from THQ's game.

    It's funny that Zuffa and/or THQ used the threat of legal action to make EA remove tattoos that neither company (may have) had the right to use or dictate who could use them.
    Reply +1
  • Suspected Sony hackers Cleary and Davis plead guilty

  • Jamash 25/06/2012

    @scarabium "In their minds they were supercool hackers just like Neo..."

    To be fair, when your Mum turns up to your court hearing looking like Morpheus, it's hard not to think you might be Neo...

    All it would take is the Prosecution QC to bear a slight resemblance to Agent Smith and a woman in the public gallery wearing a red dress and young Neo Cleary would totally lose it, he'd probably try to do a slow motion dive out of the Dock and attempt to Kung-Fu his way past the Bailiffs.
    Reply +12
  • Crytek: Free-to-play Timesplitters 4 a possibility

  • Jamash 21/06/2012

    They should test the waters and prove the viability of the franchise by releasing a "HD" version of Timesplitters 2 and/or Future Perfect on XBLA and PSN, then if that generates enough sales a publisher would foolish not to pick up Timesplitters 4. Reply +6
  • Xbox 360 Achievements to earn players Microsoft Points - report

  • Jamash 19/06/2012

    I wonder if, by monetising Achievements and Gamerscore, it will make Gamerscore cheating an actual white collar crime, rather than just a Terms of Service violation... using illegitimate means to trick a corporation into giving you something with real world cash value is fraud, is it not? Reply +2
  • Half of 1% of Skyrim Dawnguard beta applicants received invites

  • Jamash 12/06/2012

    Does anybody know how many people applied for Beta and what that 0.5% means in numbers?

    If 10,000 people applied (although the only figure I've seen is less than 8000), then that would mean there are only 50 Beta Testers, which seems a bit low for any kind of meaningful testing... especially for something that is as expansive and notoriously buggy as a Bethesda game.

    I just hope Pete Hines wasn't taking in slang when he said they had a "TON" of applicants, as half a Beta Tester doesn't bode well for anyone.
    Reply 0
  • Babel Rising launch trailer plays god

  • Jamash 12/06/2012

    I've no interest in this game, but I watched the trailer just to see "I'm coming mom! Ugh." in it's proper context.

    I spent all but the last couple of seconds of that trailer scratching my head and trying to work out how EG had made a sex pun out of what I was watching.
    Reply +4
  • Witcher 2 dev to reveal first details on "second triple-A RPG" tomorrow

  • Jamash 29/05/2012

    It looks like it could be They:


    It doesn't sound like the most original premise, but I get a kind of The Tripods vibe from it's brief description, plus I have faith in CDProjekt Red so it should be good.
    Reply +2
  • BBC iPlayer on Xbox goes live today

  • Jamash 21/03/2012

    I'm disappointed you can't access any of the BBC's radio programmes on this iPlayer app.

    Apparently it's going to be implemented later in the year, but it's still a shame it's not a launch feature as I listen to a lot more of the BBC's comedy radio broadcasts than their TV programmes.
    Reply 0
  • Skyrim DLC add-ons "will have a lot of meat on them"

  • Jamash 12/12/2011

    "Our lead programmer is pissed and wants to fix it, and I said I'm not sure we should".

    Sounds wise, it would be better to make him sober up before attempting any more programming.
    Reply +2
  • Digital Foundry vs. PS3 Skyrim Lag

  • Jamash 03/12/2011

    The only other time I've seen lag and stuttering as bad as that was in Oblivion on my 360, when I used the 'scroll dupe glitch' to drop 500 watermelons over the head of a hungry beggar.

    Forgive the noobish question, but is 'Rimlag' a technical term or the name of a town in Skyrim?
    Reply 0
  • Valve confirms Steam security breach

  • Jamash 10/11/2011

    I have a Steam account, but I've never signed up to the Steam Forums.

    Is my credit card information and billing address safe, or did Valve store all of it's customer's details on a unconnected internet forum, regardless of whether you've signed up to it or not?
    Reply +10
  • Dev defends ageing Call of Duty engine

  • Jamash 17/10/2011

    "I've worked on a lot of engines over my lifetime and spent a lot of time putting graphics in to them and this thing is Porsche".

    What, so it's under exclusive license to EA?

    Reply +3
  • FarmVille movie in the works

  • Jamash 07/10/2011

    I hope it stars Steven Segal as a organic farmer who's under pressure to sell his land to a evil corporation like Monsanto.

    I also hope there's a climatic scene in which Farmer Segal drives his Combine Harvester through the HQ of the evil corporation to the soundtrack of a Segal cover of the Wurzels.

    Preferably it should feature Billy Murray as the evil head of the evil corporation and Craig Fairbrass as his henchman.

    It should also star Megan Fox as Daisy, the cow Farmer Segal loves but doesn't fully realise the depth of his love until Daisy is taken to the evil corporation's slaughterhouse, which is the pivotal point in the film which turns Segal from a mild mannered bumpkin into a gun toting badass.
    Reply +9
  • Gran Turismo 5 Spec 2.0 release date

  • Jamash 05/10/2011

    11. Added eleven 2011 model NASCAR cars
    12. Added the Nissan GT-R N24 Shulze Motor Sport

    Thank God for that.

    If there was one legitimate complaint about GT5 that overshadowed all other minor gripes, it was there weren't enough NASCARs and Skylines.
    Reply +18
  • BioWare: 18% play Mass Effect FemShep

  • Jamash 20/07/2011

    So what does it mean when they're taken aback by the vocal support of the 18% minority?

    I think all this means is that some of the people who choose to play as a Female Shepard are gobshites who make a big song and dance about their progressive roleplaying on the Internet, while people who choose a Male Shepard just get on with it and play the game without seeking kudos and validation for their decision.
    Reply -2
  • GT5: A list of 1031 cars

  • Jamash 13/11/2010

    736. S Nissan SKYLINE GT-R (R34) '99
    737. S Nissan SKYLINE GT-R (R34) '00

    742. S Nissan SKYLINE GT-R Special Color Midnight Purple II (R34) '99
    743. S Nissan SKYLINE GT-R Special Color Midnight Purple III (R34) '00

    I like the way that the same car is counted multiple times when it's painted purple.
    Reply +4
  • Capcom denies alienating DR2 PS3 gamers

  • Jamash 22/09/2010

    I remember reading that Sony charge 3rd party developers a $0.16/GB bandwidth charge for every demo and piece of DLC downloaded over the PSN.

    Hypothetically, if Case Zero cost $5 but was available to download as a free trial (that you paid to unlock) like it was on X-Box Live, then Capcom would have to be sure they would sell 1 copy for every 35 trials downloaded otherwise they would lose money.

    Maybe they felt Dead Rising isn't a strong enough franchise on the PS3 to risk releasing Case Zero...
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