Fork_Handles Comments

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  • Chris Roberts shows off Star Citizen dogfighting

  • Fork_Handles 11/04/2014

    In space, everyone can hear you whoop. Reply +8
  • Google developing smart contact lens to help diabetics

  • Fork_Handles 17/01/2014

    'Google's gadget includes a sensor to detect the glucose levels via your tears'
    ... then use that information to advertise you sugar-based snacks, diabetic chocolate, and Kleenex.
    Reply +11
  • Turtle Beach signs PS4 official headset deal

  • Fork_Handles 08/01/2014

    @DreadedWalrus They'll let you hear all the swearing and insults in super-high fidelity - how else will competitors know what their opponents did to their mums without crystal-clear audio?

    Or maybe they'll just charge triple and change the colour.
    Reply +14
  • Dean Hall planning "really special" DayZ presentation for EGX Rezzed

  • Fork_Handles 07/01/2014

    @hax1 I'm hoping for baked bean tins with ring-pulls. Reply 0
  • Fork_Handles 07/01/2014

    "I think I'll put something really special on for the DayZ session," he said in an email.

    A suit made entirely of caviar, diamonds and truffles?
    Reply +2
  • Xbox One mod unlocks mouse and keyboard support

  • Fork_Handles 10/12/2013

    @Earthworm-Dave Well, to be fair there would be less complaints if they'd changed to standard micro-usb chargers like every other non-Apple device.

    Anyway, having watched the mouse and keyboard part of that video, it does look like anyone using this will have the ability to aim much faster than someone using a standard controller, so that's tantamount to cheating if used online against unsuspecting controller users in my book.
    Reply 0
  • Battlefield 4: Second Assault review

  • Fork_Handles 22/11/2013


    I'll get me coat.
    Reply +15
  • Second Total War: Rome 2 patch out now

  • Fork_Handles 17/09/2013

    @Stevonymo The thing is, on some PCs it's working great, but on others it isn't - my i5 2500k with a GTX670 runs the game almost maxed out with a stable and playable framerate, but other combinations which on paper are far more powerful are having real problems.

    So maybe shooting them is a tad harsh.
    Reply +1
  • Fork_Handles 17/09/2013

    @Bananazniper If it was improved, I didn't really notice during the beta to be honest. Units were still routing after losing less than 50% of their men, which in itself wouldn't be so bad if it didn't only take 30 seconds of fighting for them to take 50% casualties from equally matched units.

    I'm looking forward to trying out the next beta patch whenever that gets put up on Steam - they've promised 'gameplay improvements' so hopefully they'll revisit kill speeds and morale more to my taste - until then, there's always the Radious mod.
    Reply 0
  • Fork_Handles 17/09/2013

    @Bananazniper Aye, but until they reduce the kill speeds and buff the morale up a bit, the battles will still be over in minutes - it'll just take longer to meet in the middle! Reply 0
  • Total War: Rome 2's paid and unpaid content plans detailed

  • Fork_Handles 24/08/2013

    I do like a bit of Total War - I just hope that the game speed in the battles isn't too fast for my ageing reflexes - specially as it looks so darn pretty, I want to be able to zoom in and see my troops up close before the battle's over!

    It's good that CA are bunging out some free stuff and setting out their plans for supporting the game. But Shogun 2 wasn't moddable to the same extent as the original RTW and M2TW were, so that claim is a bit meaningless. Much as I'd love to see a new Rome Total Realism or Europa Barbarorum using the R2TW engine, somehow I don't think it's very likely.
    Reply +1
  • Microsoft reveals Xbox One, due worldwide this year

  • Fork_Handles 21/05/2013

    Hmmmm. Turns out I don't want One. Reply +3
  • The Room rakes in over 2 million sales

  • Fork_Handles 09/05/2013

    Is this made in HD or 35mm? Reply +6
  • EA unveils Battlefield 4, powered by Frostbite 3, with 17-minute gameplay trailer

  • Fork_Handles 27/03/2013

    I was pleased that they didn't turn the leg amputation scene into a BF3-style QTE:

    Press E,F Space,LB!

    You failed to press random buttons quickly enough and he's bled to death, please replay the last 10 minutes. Again.

    I know the BF3 SP was bolted on, but I played it just to get some familiarity with the game before jumping into the MP - those pointless QTEs really annoyed me!

    That trailer has certainly got me interested in what the MP will look like.
    Reply +1
  • The Last of Us preview: Naughty Dog moves into Uncharted territory

  • Fork_Handles 04/02/2013

    @Breach Well, I can't be held responsible for EG correcting the article after my finely crafted comment, thus rendering my comment stupid looking for everyone who hadn't read the article before they corrected their spelling. Bah.

    I'm off to eat a torte.
    Reply 0
  • Fork_Handles 04/02/2013

    Sorry to be that guy, but someone needs to be taught how to spell taut.

    I'll get my coat.
    Reply +10
  • The Interesting Sequels of 2013

  • Fork_Handles 04/01/2013

    Total War Rome 2 is pretty high up on my list of most anticipated releases for this year. In fact it's actually sat right at the top of my list. So there. Reply +10
  • Humble THQ Bundle adds Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War as total payments near $4.5m

  • Fork_Handles 11/12/2012

    @MerricK Click on the link in the email you got when you first bought the bundle and your new game should show up there I think. Reply +2
  • Fork_Handles 11/12/2012

    @Boomerang Same $25 spent here (I mean, £16 for all of these games!) - even though I can't see myself having enough time to play any of them! Reply +2
  • Warhammer 40K board game Space Hulk is being adapted for PC, Mac and iOS

  • Fork_Handles 10/12/2012

    Obligatory 'Android release please' comment. Reply +3
  • Total War developer announces multi-game Warhammer deal

  • Fork_Handles 06/12/2012

    @Kalderyn Hmmm, opinions vary.

    Shogun 2 wants a word.
    Reply +4
  • Fork_Handles 06/12/2012

    @uninspiredcup As long as the base building is on the strategic campaign map and not on the battlefield I'll be happy.

    So basically Rome 2 with Orcs.

    Mmmmm... sounds pretty much like my geeky 11 year old self's dreams come true, and it's only taken them 30 years!
    Reply +4
  • Face-Off: Trine 2 on Wii U

  • Fork_Handles 05/12/2012

    @Arwin Thanks for reminding me my monitor has 3D! Just tried the original Trine in 3D and it looks awesome, I'll be giving Trine 2 a go when I've finished it! I'm still working my way through a backlog of games courtesy of the Steam sales.

    As for the Wii U, I'm glad the game looks great on it too, the more people who play it the better.
    Reply +2
  • Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition review

  • Fork_Handles 04/12/2012

    @Sunyavadin ...Except porting it to Android and iPad, which is what a lot of people here are holding out for. I'm hoping it works OK with touch controls, it'll be a day one purchase for my Nexus 7 if it does. Reply 0
  • Grid 2 Preview: No Assists Please, We're British

  • Fork_Handles 08/08/2012

    Well, I liked Grid, and I was one of the '5%' that used the in car view, so this is disappointing.

    I hope they've decided to allow players to chose which cars they can have on different tracks, the restricted choice in the first game was annoying after a while. Oh, and I also hope they allow voice chat to carry on while the game is loading, this got really frustrating when I played with my mates - lots of broken conversations and long loading times. Maybe that was just a PS3 thing though?
    Reply +3
  • Just how popular is DayZ?

  • Fork_Handles 08/07/2012

    @Shikasama Bohemia Interactive are currently selling the ARMA2 + Operation Arrowhead bundle (Steam version) for £14.99 - cheap as chips! Reply +5
  • Total War: Rome 2 will deliver "a darker vision of war"

  • Fork_Handles 06/07/2012

    Bah, I was hoping to see the 10 minutes of demo footage.

    Still, Rome 2! Yay! I hope it's a worthy sucessor.
    Reply +6
  • BBC Sports app in beta on the PlayStation Network

  • Fork_Handles 21/06/2012

    @Cringles88 Sorry to disappoint you, but the Tour de France is on ITV4... Reply +3
  • EA wants to know what you think of Origin

  • Fork_Handles 03/05/2012

    I installed Origin so I could try the BF3 beta last year, and didn't have too much bother with it to be honest.

    However, last month I saw EA were flogging Batman Arkham City cheaper than I could buy it from Amazon, so I went ahead and bought it. Cue 7 hours of frustration and forum post reading to try and get Origin to work after it updated itself as part of the Batman install. It just would not work at all. I was about to give up and demand a refund when I stumbled upon a forum post that contained a suggested fix for an entirely different error, and low and behold it worked - it involved downloading a beta client installer and renaming a temp launcher executable to be the main Origin executable.

    So anyway, I got to play but only after wasting half a day and jumping through a bunch of totally unneccessary hoops. So that kind of annoyed me.

    Last week it downloaded another update and stopped working again, but renaming the exe worked.

    So my experience with Origin is that it doesn't work without manual intervention, and stops me playing when I want to play.

    Down with this sort of thing!
    Reply +4
  • Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2 reveal trailer

  • Fork_Handles 02/05/2012

    @inutaihanyou Yep, that was an interesting read - thanks. I just hope the MP is good fun. Reply +3
  • CCP: players' attempt to destroy Eve Online economy is "f***ing brilliant"

  • Fork_Handles 27/04/2012

    "Last night I got an email - Jita was at 2100. Time dilation kicked in at 15 per cent. And there were people just watching the sh*t that was going down. It was brilliant. It was absolutely great."

    Eh? As a non-Eve player, that's just a bag of nonsense right there.
    Reply +76
  • Wargame: European Escalation Review

  • Fork_Handles 24/04/2012

    Hmmm. I play Combat Mission Battle for Normandy and I don't think it's especially obtuse or difficult. But then again, I'm a weirdo because I like CMBN in the first place. Reply 0
  • Massive Total War: Shogun 2 patch incoming

  • Fork_Handles 21/03/2012

    The link to the Official site in the article is actually a link to the patch announcement post at the fansite

    Pedantic mode off.

    Looks like a great patch - looks like I'll be playing some Shogun 2 over the weekend.
    Reply +2
  • Apple unveils its new iPad

  • Fork_Handles 07/03/2012

    "Voice dictation supports US English, British English, Australian..."

    Fair dinkum cobber! No wuckin furries!
    Reply +3
  • The new Eurogamer - four days on

  • Fork_Handles 28/10/2011

    I'd like the front page link to the latest forum posts back too - it saved my poor clicking finger a few extra clicks. Reply +1
  • Battlefield 3 Review

  • Fork_Handles 25/10/2011

    I'm not buying this game for the single player side, or the co-op. In fact, I would have preferred it if their single player campaign was just bot matches on the MP maps so I could practice flying jets and copters. Reply +3
  • DICE: BF3 is "very different" to MW3

  • Fork_Handles 12/10/2011

    go pear to pear

    I'd rather they go apples to oranges, seeing as cod and BF are different games.
    Reply +1
  • DICE dishes Battlefield 3 beta tips

  • Fork_Handles 29/09/2011

    @metalangel - oh yeah, I agree. The whole 'turn them off and on again' thing is there for the torch wielders to try though - but all the time they keep them on, they're easy pickings for the non blinded that's for sure. Reply 0
  • Fork_Handles 29/09/2011

    The bombed-out tunnel section in Operation Métro is an excellent place to use a flashlight as one of your weapon attachments. Use it to light the tunnels up - and to blind your enemies.

    And give your position away! Come on DICE.

    Well, you can turn the torch and laser on and off at will, so running up the escalators and giving a quick flash can blind anyone lying in wait. In theory at least.

    I'd prefer it if you had to score a 'headshot' with the torch in order to blind people rather than just have it pointed in their general direction.
    Reply 0
  • Fork_Handles 29/09/2011

    Question. On xbox how do u ask for ammo or health etc. In bc2 u pressed back, same as to spot. In beta back on your team mates does nothing. Many times I have needed more ammo.

    On the PS3 the Select button does it same as in BC2, so I imagine it's the same on the Xbox, but all I've seen happen is you shout out 'hey I need some ammo' - I've no idea if the person I targeted got my message or not (they didn't drop me any ammo, but maybe they were selfish and wanted it all for themselves).

    Edit - stupid italics fail! What am I doing wrong? Bah.

    Edit number 7 - Yay! Well that was worth it.
    Reply +1
  • Fork_Handles 29/09/2011

    On the PS3 the spotting can still be a bit 'hit and miss' in my experience, but at least it's no worse than in BC2!

    As for the revive question, I've not got enough XP yet to unlock the paddles. One extremely cool thing though is the ability of the revivee (yes, that is a word, honest) to choose whether or not to accept the revive - so you don't have to be revived only to go down in a hail of bullets again, or run around with no ammo should you survive!
    Reply 0
  • Fork_Handles 29/09/2011

    Thanks Dr Cowley - I did not know that - I thought it was because some stuff was left out of the beta on purpose.

    I feel stupid now.

    Thanks for the info though!
    Reply +3
  • Fork_Handles 29/09/2011

    Is it me or does anyone else have trouble identifying who the enemy are...

    Yep -it also doesn't help that in the beta, the coloured triangles can get off-set from the player, meaning sometimes it's impossible to tell friend from foe.

    But seriously, I cannot emphasise the need for people to spot for their team - that should have been top tip number 1 in my opinion.

    Reply +18
  • Sony confirms global PS3 price cut

  • Fork_Handles 17/08/2011

    Bah. I just replaced my old 60gb model with a 320gb slim 2 weeks ago. Still, £40 in the great scheme of things isn't so much I guess.

    I can't believe anyone has the time or energy to write all this nonsense about PS3 vs 360. Can't we all just get along?
    Reply +1
  • "Noisy" PS3 ads get Channel 5 in trouble

  • Fork_Handles 05/07/2011

    There is one good programme currently on CH5 - Justified. Well worth watching even if you're not a fan of Elmore Leonard.

    As for adverts, I suffer them at 30x their normal speed thanks to Sky+, and satisfy my inner gamer by trying to return the show to normal speed at the exact moment the programme starts up. I'm shit at it though, and often spoil any cliff-hanger that was going on before the break with a ridiculous series of ever more frustrating cack-handed rewinds and fast forwards. I tend to swear a lot louder than any adverts I inadvertantly see.

    Oh, and I'm sure I read somewhere that advertisers have got wise to the whole 'fast forwarding through adverts' business and purposefully try and have brand images that will be visible long enough to show up even at that speed. It takes subliminal advertising to a whole new level.
    Reply 0
  • Sony withheld PSN hack truth - report

  • Fork_Handles 15/06/2011

    Wait a minute! PSN got hacked?

    Why didn't anyone tell me?
    Reply -2
  • Spanish police arrest Anonymous hackers

  • Fork_Handles 10/06/2011

    Not so anónimo now it seems. Reply +27
  • Daily Mail links MW3 to 7/7 bombings

  • Fork_Handles 25/05/2011

    Careful now! Reply +1
  • PSN outage woe enters seventh day

  • Fork_Handles 26/04/2011

    Wednesday night in America = Thursday morning in Europe. Who knew? Reply +7
  • Gran Turismo 5 gets 608MB patch

  • Fork_Handles 20/12/2010

    Here is a list of changes the patch brings (From TSA):

    * “[Seasonal Events] have been added to the upper left side of the [GT Mode] – [GT Life] screen. From here you can participate in official online events from the Polyphony Digital team.

    In these events, all participants race under the same regulations, and if you complete the event you will win rewards and experience. In Time Trials and Drift Trials, compete on the leader boards with players around the world.

    * An [Online Dealership] has been added to the left center of the [GT Mode]-[GT Life] screen. In here you will find popular and rare used cars. You might just come across that one car you’ve always been looking for, that you haven’t been able to find in the [Used Car Dealer]

    * Online Race Rewards and Experience

    When you complete a race in the [Open Lobby] or [My Lounge], you will now gain rewards and experience points.

    Therefore if you are focused more on playing online, you’ll still be able to gain rewards and levels that you need to progress in [GT Life].

    * Driving Distance and Number of Wins in Online Races

    The driving distance and the number of wins you achieve when you complete a race in [Open Lobby] or [My Lounge] will now affect your stats in [Profile] and the [Garage].

    Here again the results from your online play will c*mulate within [GT Life].

    * Improved Rewards

    The rewards for winning races in both A-Spec and B-Spec in [GT Mode]-[GT Life] have been increased for a limited time only. (This applies until the end of January 2011)

    This is a great chance for those who were previously having difficulties getting ahead in the game, due to a lack of funds for tuning and purchasing required cars.

    * Race Information Display

    [Race Information Display] is now available in [Start]-[Quick Options]. (You can also see this in [Race Display] in [Options]).

    * Save Data Backup

    You can now copy and restore your save data. For details, please refer to the in-game [Manual].

    * Personal BGM (Menu)

    From [Options]-[Hardware]-[Audio], it is now possible to set the [Personal BGM] (Menu)]. (This can also be accessed from the [Music Library] within [GT Mode]).

    * Car Name Change

    The official name of “Red Bull X1″ has been changed to “Red Bull X2010″.

    * Integration with the Website

    The main features within [GT Mode]-[Community] can now also be accessed through the “” official website.

    * [Important Note:]

    * We have made improvements to the [Log] within [GT Mode]- [Community] section, in order to make its operation more stable. Please note that the information that was here before the update has been reset.”

    Reply +17