ExplodingClown Comments

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  • Sonic Twitter account taken over by Dr. Eggman

  • ExplodingClown 15/11/2015

    Reply +2
  • Rise of the Tomb Raider review

  • ExplodingClown 09/11/2015

    Sorry to regurgitate a small book, but I'll just repost my Amazon review of the original to indicate how unsurprised this leaves me. Warning - TL : DR

    Firstly, let's get the unquestionably good points out the way. This game is beautiful to look at, especially if your PC can run DirectX 11 games. Lighting and environmental effects add mood and atmosphere, though be warned that you will need a seriously powerful PC to run all the settings on high - the TressFX hair simulation is especially demanding, and knocked 30fps off my framerate just in the benchmark (which itself is not representative of the most hardware-strenuous parts of the game) - and when things get especially busy, framerates can drop severely.

    The controls work well with a mouse and keyboard, though the camera tends to suffer from the feeling it's on rubber bands and pulling against you: this is a result of being initially created for use with console gamepads. There are some broad vistas that are breathtaking to look upon, the character models and animation are very impressive, and overall it's largely bug-free: all credit to Nixxes, a company who also ported Sleeping Dogs to the PC (which had similar camera 'issues', but I digress).

    There are some lovingly crafted areas, especially in the decaying Japanese houses, temples and tombs. Screenshots taken in these parts can be so achingly gorgeous you could mistake them for concept art.

    I so wanted to love this game, but when I finished it I couldn't lie to myself. Visuals can only hide so much. There will be spoilers ahead. So firstly read this piece from the Telegraph:


    As the latest version of Tomb Raider hits the shelves, the man behind video games giant Eidos says keeping Lara Croft appealing for today's gamers was behind the decision to make the latest version of Tomb Raider 'a reboot'.

    "We had to ensure the character was still relevant with today's audiences.

    "A lot of the fans had said "tell us more about the young Lara Croft", so the time was right I think," said Eidos CEO Ian Livingstone.

    Speaking to The Telegraph's Matt Warman, Mr Livingstone also said the newly released 'Tomb Raider Day One' had an 18 certificate owing to the "gritty realism" of the content.


    Do alarm bells go off with all the talk about "today's audiences" and "gritty realism"? No? Then buy and enjoy, as you're obviously the target market - a late teens to early 20's male who grew up babysat by the Xbox, and whose idea of a 'game' is a movie that periodically checks to see if its audience has working fingers. Later you can watch 'Saw 8' or 'Hostel 5', 'read' Nuts or Zoo, and download some porn on your smartphone.

    If you loved the Legend/Anniversary/Underworld trilogy, or just the Lara Croft who featured in those games, you'd be best served replaying them. That character was well written, had charm, and was believably smart, confident and capable. The story running through that trilogy concerned Lara's search for answers to her mother's disappearance and gave her a depth of character that her previous outings in the Playstation 1 years never did. We saw the young Lara Croft both as a child and a young adult, and she was vulnerable yet resourceful.

    You won't see anyone like that in 'Tomb Raider' 2013 (hereafter 'TR'). What you'll see is a young girl of 19-21 crying, shivering, moaning, screaming, beating herself up, being beaten up, wrestling with father issues, being drenched in blood and filth, and dying violently. A lot. Character-wise, new-Lara starts off a naive student and supposedly turns into a legendary "survivor", as much of the game's marketing emphasises. A loaded word, that: often used in reference to cancer or rape (the prior controversy over some irresponsible marketing still leaves a whiff in the air when 'that scene' occurs - suffice to say that neither the 'oh it's nothing get over it' nor the 'ban this sick sexual assault game' crowd are right), but since when did anyone word-associate 'Lara Croft' with 'Survivor'? So forget the world-class gymnast, aristocrat archaeologist who can mix sardonic quips and backflips: what you're getting here is a queasy mixture of Jon Voight's character from 'Deliverance', the protagonist from 'The Descent', and the girl from 'The Hunger Games'. What you don't get is the progressive dehumanisation through brutality and trauma of the first two (the former plagued by nightmares, the latter relinquishing their sanity): what you do get is more redolent of 'The Hunger Games', an under-developed heroine who alternates wildly between smart and stupid, wily and clumsy mostly to move forward the story. Oh, and almost no tombs.

    A note on the story: the lead writer is credited as Rhianna Pratchett, who I am informed is the daughter of author Terry Pratchett. All this seems to show is that talent is not hereditary (see Julian Lennon, Jason Connery et al). The plot is full of holes one could fit the Sphinx through, and cops out by promising that any sequel might tie up some of the many loose ends, which is lazy storytelling and presumptuous to boot (what if the game had sold badly?). Secondary characters are all cardboard stereotypes so two-dimensional they should have been modelled with flat sprites rather than polygons: they do stupid things because the plot requires them, and they're never fleshed out enough for you to care about their fates or feelings. They're Lara's friends or shipmates and that's supposed to suffice, but you'll be hard put to even remember their names. They're a pick'n'mix of ethnicities (burly Maori cook, Japanese-American student girl, tough African-American woman) and cliches (nerdy white boy with glasses with a crush on Lara, gruff violent Scotsman, grizzled ex-soldier). But because they have no discernible personality it carries no weight when they're put in peril, and Lara herself isn't even particularly likeable, spending half her time moaning or crying. The baby has gone out with the bathwater: Lara may no longer have her oversized boobs, but nor does she have any personality nor capability. Other than with weapons, where she could give Rambo a run for his money - but we're never told nor shown how this martial prowess arises.

    A mysterious character turning out bad and a betrayal from within are blindingly predictable to anyone non-Amish who's not been comatose for the past 30 years. The dialogue is cliched and often falls with an audible clunk: the voice actors do their best with what they're given, but it's poor stuff, and Camilla Luddington (the voice of the young Lara) is no Keeley Hawes (Legend/Anniversary/Underworld's Lara). A mentor-cum-father figure exhorts Lara that she can overcome her doubts & fears with the words "You're a Croft": but what this is supposed to mean is never explained - is she destined to make sherry? Is she a small Scottish farm? No clarification is forthcoming. Lara is also beset with very Hollywood 'daddy issues', though the supposedly inspiring deceased father is similarly never fleshed out; a reference in a found document merely makes him sound like a homicidal maniac rather than an inspiring parent. Lara's mother is completely airbrushed out (much like Clarice Starling's mother in the book of 'Silence of the Lambs' was replaced by a father in the film), undermining the weak arguments that this is somehow a vaguely feminist tale of empowerment. Unless 'girl power' involves multiple homicide. Lara is constantly looking to male figures for help and guidance, and the only other female figures in the landscape are her ditzy best friend who manages to get kidnapped TWICE, and a mechanic who displays sustained hostility to Lara but no grief for the death of the man who was her lover and her child's father.

    As far as absurdity goes, there's more. Before you scream "It's only a videogame!" one more time, I'll direct you back to the quote at the start about 'gritty realism'. You promise that, you've got to deliver it. Got to put your money where your mouth is, if you expect busy consumers to put their money in your pocket.
    Everywhere Lara goes, she's pretty much knee-deep (sometimes deeper) in blood, corpses, body parts and skeletons. Many look fresh. Where are all these stiffs coming from? We are told the ancient civilisation of Yamatai once ruled the island, which may explain the skeletons, but there'd have to be an ocean liner running aground every year to provide this much carrion. At the start of the game Lara sustains a deep penetrating wound to her abdomen. She then runs around, falls, jumps etc without noticing it... until the plot requires that she not be able to jump. Lo, she's holding her side and gasping. Of course she wades neck-deep through stagnant water, blood, sewage and never gets this gaping gash infected. Realism doesn't get grittier than this!

    Now, if Eidos/Square Enix had decided to go grindhouse and make this game the equivalent of 'I Spit On Your Grave', there would at least have been some exploitation thrills to be had from TR - now you'll suffer, creepy cultists! In fact, a spark of psychosis would have made the new Lara much more fun and a great deal more credible. But the painfully po-faced tone and misguided stabs at pathos mean there is very little actual pleasure and precisely no joy in this game: for one, it's grimly sadistic (Lara's many deaths are frequently horrific) but lacks the kind of irony or wit than can make something like 'The Devil's Rejects' into something more than just gory schlock. For another, the titular tombs are few in number and consist of exactly one puzzle each which when solved will give you access to a treasure box. The tombs are all festooned with corrugated iron and assorted modern detritus due to the presence of the island inhabitants, so the feeling of discovering a long-sealed mystery is absent. Even the appearance of the supernatural element in the final 20% of the game is squandered in a protracted gunfight that owes more to 'Gears Of War' than 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'.

    Gameplay-wise, you're going to watch a *lot* of cutscenes, and they're going to go on a *long* time. When you're not watching those, you'll be doing Quick Time Events (QTE) where a cinematic sequence requires you to press the right button at the right time or see Lara perish horribly. And there's a lot of them too. Helpfully, the prompt will not be the key you need to press, but a symbol representing the action that key triggers, and it's not always easy to make out which symbol, so prepare to see Lara die a lot (a sequence involving a parachute is particularly notable for this problem). You'll also be frantically mashing buttons quite a bit, both in QTE and to spin pulleys, break open doors etc: should you unwisely map the necessary action to a mouse button, e.g. on a 5-button mouse, then your camera will oscillate madly when you're clicking away trying to open a door, so keep some paracetamol or a sick bag handy. And if you're prone to motion sickness, don't play this game after a meal if your monitor isn't easily wiped clean and highly resistant to stomach acid, as the camera bobs and weaves when Lara runs much as if she's being followed by a drunken film crew with Parkinson's Disease.

    When you're not doing those, the game resembles the Tomb Raider of old much more, except that Lara's gymastic virtuosity has now gone, replaced with something resembling parkour. Oh and she can't swim now - if you fall in water too deep to wade in, it's adios Ms. Croft. The camera will also snatch itself out of your control to point you at what it thinks you should be doing: sometimes only one control direction will work, such as when Lara is squeezing between some pipes in a duct - if you want to back out, forget it, you're moving forward whether you like it or not. The game is essentially handholding you all the way through, when it's not being a backseat driver throwing comments from Lara out about what you should be doing next. If you're really dim or attention-deprived you can activate the 'Survival Instinct' which turns the screen monochrome and highlights usable things and creatures in colour. Remember trial and error in prior Tomb Raider games, how satisfying it was to finally twig how to get to that high ledge? Forget it. Open areas are quite small and littered with collectible items, most of which serve no purpose other than to increase your experience points in order to 'level up' Lara, buying her new abilities or perks, generally combat-based. Though they do pop up an achievement message every time you find one, removing any chance of immersing yourself in the game by constantly high-fiving you. It's like having an excitable young cousin in the room, out of his mind on sugar and orange food colouring, shouting "woo! Yeah!" whenever you find a GPS beacon or fruit bush. The documents lying around are obviously there to try to provide some backstory, but they're badly written, erratically voiced, and where you find them bears no relevance to the contents. What you learn from them makes no odds to the game either. The relics are quite nice, 3d models of historical artefacts you can zoom on and rotate, but their haphazard scattering throughout the game and Lara's off-camera commenting on them produces some jarring tonal shifts - her friend is in mortal danger, she's just been in a frenzied gunfight during which she stabbed men in the throat with arrows and set others on fire, but then she opens a box and quite placidly informs you that this is a jade statue from 500BC China or somesuch.

    Your weapons, which you will acquire as the game proceeds, feel like strange throwbacks to the very first Tomb Raider games: pistol, shotgun, automatic weapon. You can upgrade them by collecting 'salvage' found in boxes left lying around even in the most remote parts of the island, or by killing enemies and looting their carcasses, though quite what a wolf is doing with these things is anyone's guess. When you collect enough 'weapon parts' the weapon upgrades by the campfire (these act as quick travel points) so you'll bizarrely see a WW2 Japanese submachine gun transform into a Kalashnikov just because you found 3 items. Lara's bow is the standout: the first thing you'll have to do is kill a deer with it, and watch a scene as Lara apologises to her kill before gutting it (she's not so worried about putting arrows through peoples' eyes), but she also gets a climber's axe that can be used on rockfaces, environmental objects such as doors and pulleys, and buried in people's skulls. However it can't be used on barbed-wire wrapped planks, which require a shotgun blast to remove. Similarly a door wrapped in rope must be pulled with a rope-arrow, but rope nets must be set on fire with a fire arrow: some of the game design is so arbitrary as to wonder how this was thought of as somehow better than pulling levers or pushing blocks. Areas can be revisited to deploy any newly acquired tools to open previously closed areas, but the reward is usually small such as a collectible item or salvage box, rather than a tomb.

    Stealth seems to be put forward as a method of making progress should you not feel particularly homicidal, but in reality it's extremely difficult to make progress undetected and enemies will often be situated in groups where sneaking past is impossible. Even the silent kill option on one guard will cause the others to become aware of you, and gunshots cause pretty much every enemy in the area to immediately home in on your location. Escaping on a zipline is often unfeasible as getting shot will cause you to fall off, and the enemies display prodigiously good aim no matter how fast Lara is moving. Health packs are no more as she has regenerating health, so hide behind a box for a few seconds and she's ready for more punishment, but the cover mechanism isn't always reliable, and as Lara no longer has her gymnastic skills rolling and jumping to present a harder target is out of the question (though she does have a rather ungainly new 'scramble' move which looks rather like she's frantically searching for a lost contact lens).

    As for Ms. Luddington who did Lara's voice, she turns out to have been the 'star' of a TV movie about Kate Middleton's engagement. Solid A-list talent there! I could make uncharitable comparisons of her acting abilities to, ahem, 'adult entertainment', but I couldn't put it better than the excellent 'Zero Punctuation' - "when she's supposed to be yelling defiantly at her foes the voice actress sounds more like the head girl giving the half-time pep talk at the county netball finals".

    So, buyer beware. Probably a good acid test is that if you have fond memories of Tomb Raider 2, you'll find this an empty and shallow experience, all pretty light show and no substance behind it. Bearing in mind how much controversy the supposed 'rapeyness' of the game generated (hype springs eternal; there's no such thing as bad publicity) there's remarkably little here to provoke anything more than a feeling of growing dismay. It's only mature in the most adolescent of senses, mistaking gore for horror, suffering for ennoblement, and angst for character, and it's only a Tomb Raider game because it features a character called Lara Croft, and that character is only called Lara Croft because someone's too lazy to come up with anything new, and too cynical not to cash in on fond memories. When the credits roll, a message from the developers tells you they spent the last 5 years making the best game they could. I wonder if that counts as an apology?

    /end verbal dysentery
    Reply -55
  • Zoe Quinn's memoir Crash Override picked up by Ghostbusters reboot producer

  • ExplodingClown 07/11/2015


    I'm curious. Would you please cite your sources for those figures (39% etc)? If there's research, I'd be interested in reading it.
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 07/11/2015

    Ehhh. Just because someone buys the rights doesn't mean a movie will ever get made (remember the putative Gore Verbinski 'BioShock' film which didn't happen?). From what I can discern of this story, there's no way to turn it into the classic screenwriter's three act structure, unless the protagonist makes a billion-selling game and goes "yah boo" to the haters. Plus the interest is very niche. Some of the more aspie types may think gaming is the beating heart of the universe, but they'd rather blow raspberries at each other on the internet than buy cinema tickets.

    Just imagining the elevator pitch to some studio exec makes me groan. "So it's The Accused meets Swordfish, yeah?" (wipes nose)
    Reply +19
  • Need for Speed review

  • ExplodingClown 06/11/2015


    jobs that only require for you to have a computer and an internet access and you can have that at your home
    I tried your scheme, but there's only so many times a day you can wank off in front of a webcam for a fading celebrity.
    Reply +1
  • ExplodingClown 05/11/2015


    I loved the imaginary cars in Burnout. Licensed cars end up the same old shit parade every bloody time. The Veyron, McLaren etc. have become the Kim Kardashian of racing games - once exotic and alluring, now overexposed and annoying: and because manufacturers are so damn touchy about anything possibly soiling their brand image, quite often bang goes customisation, damage modelling etc. as if the kids playing NFS are going to go "what! You mean a Ferrari's going to fold up like a concertina when I hit a tree at 200mph? Get the dealership on the phone and cancel my test drive" :-/
    Reply +7
  • Assassin's Creed Syndicate's PC system requirements revealed

  • ExplodingClown 06/11/2015

    ...aaaaand this is why we don't preorder or day-one purchase anymore. Or even month-one. Reply +3
  • Marathon, the original Bungie sci-fi shooter

  • ExplodingClown 01/11/2015

    Did we ever find out who Gheritt White was? Reply 0
  • Watch: Should games be made about 9/11?

  • ExplodingClown 31/10/2015

    Anyone want to contribute to my Super 9/11 Brothers kickstarter? Spoiler: The princess is in the other tower. Reply +3
  • SXSW considers harassment conference after pulling game panels over threats of violence

  • ExplodingClown 29/10/2015


    Interesting graph, though needs more expansion, particularly with regard to the sex of the harassers and the nature of the threats/insults/verbal aggressions. Also it's given as "Among all internet users", but it needs to clarify how that sample skews.

    God this thread is depressing.
    Reply -1
  • ExplodingClown 29/10/2015


    "a tide of angry rabbits" is the phrase of the week.
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 28/10/2015


    Possibly not.
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 28/10/2015

    Bearing in mind this year has seen people arrested for planning to turn up at a goddamn Pokemon convention with assault weapons, I can't blame them really.

    Freedom of speech is a precious thing, but so is life, and wanting to debate whether or not blowhards and keyboard warriors make videogames a toxic environment is not worth some poor parent, spouse etc. getting the three o'clock knock.

    They should just hold the panels somewhere else, some other time, and post them as video.
    Reply +5
  • Project Zero: Maiden of Black Water review

  • ExplodingClown 27/10/2015


    Translation: "Aww! I saw the screenshots of the Japanese version and was really looking forward to knocking one out over this while Mum is out!"


    Reply +6
  • Resident Evil HD Remaster's original voice acting mod is complete

  • ExplodingClown 25/10/2015

    I love the way that when the Tyrant hits Barry, Jill says "Barry!" in the same tone of voice she'd use if they shared a house and found he'd peed on the toilet seat again. Reply 0
  • Rebel Galaxy review

  • ExplodingClown 20/10/2015

    I was tempted, but it doesn't really have much of a hook, and the spacecraft designs do look a bit derivative, like Chris Foss fan art. I like to support the smaller developers, but this time think I'll hold out for Dreadnought's single-player campaign, or Homeworld: Shipbreakers. Anyway, still got Space Run to get through. Reply 0
  • Mushroom 11 review

  • ExplodingClown 20/10/2015

    Available on GOG too! Sold.

    Edit: Bought, and it's a real gem. Absolutely brilliant, compulsive stuff. Sounds lovely, looks lovely, fiendishly simple but challenging gameplay that you never feel is down to bad design when you cock things up.

    I will say about the review though: Simon, where the hell are you getting all this Soviet/Russian vibe? I'm 3 areas in and there's nothing remotely suggestive of any of that: a decaying ferris wheel does not automatically mean Pripyat. No Cyrillic script, no heroic peasant statues staring into the distance, none of the telltale stuff. If anything, the adverts, English signs, and visual details suggest the opposite. What with the grammar and typo errors, were you pissed when you wrote this? :champ:
    Reply +1
  • Space Hulk ported to… PS3

  • ExplodingClown 14/10/2015

    But are they releasing the rather janky and ugly original version, or Ascension? I'd have thought the latter would make most sense, being prettier and more accessible (and so more likely to pull in the folk who enjoyed XCOM). Reply +1
  • New Homeworld resurfaces with brief gameplay footage

  • ExplodingClown 13/10/2015


    Did he do the Cataclysm soundtrack? That was sublime.

    They'd better keep the graphic novel-style cutscenes too....
    Reply +1
  • Apotheon dev's new sci-fi action roguelike Cryptark enters Early Access

  • ExplodingClown 07/10/2015

    Capsized was by Alientrap and that was brilliant (apart from that terrible end boss and the blink-and-you'll-miss-it ending). If this is anything like Capsized, it's a must-buy. Soundtrack was fantastic too. Reply +3
  • Armikrog review

  • ExplodingClown 07/10/2015


    Can I borrow your straw man for Halloween? :)

    (you didn't read my post, or you rather read *into* it what you were looking for in a rush to defend the maker of this game. I made no reference to Mr. TenNapel at all - it was a general question. You could substitute Jews, Furries, whatever for the reference to homosexuality and the point would still stand.)
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 06/10/2015


    people who refuse to tolerate opinions they disagree with shouldn't claim to be tolerant themselves
    I disagree with the opinion that gay people are subhuman, and refuse to tolerate it. Does that somehow make me the equal of the knucklehead writing KILL ALL FAGS on the bus shelter? Show your working.
    Reply +2
  • Cult horror Pathologic being HD remastered for PC

  • ExplodingClown 07/10/2015

    Ice Pick Lodge are a fantastic source of really unusual and interesting games. The Void, Knock-Knock and Cargo all have a feel to them quite unlike any of the Gratuitously Quirky(TM) or artsturbatory games out there. I've still got my physical copy of Pathologic, but the English translation really was appalling as they admit, and my Russian is too rusty to keep up with the original content, so this is a very welcome announcement.

    (backed the remake too)
    Reply +1
  • Far Cry Primal is an ice age spin-off - report

  • ExplodingClown 06/10/2015

    Ideal marketing slogan - "Yabba dabba DIE" Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 05/10/2015

    The Flintstones, with killstreaks. Reply +11
  • The Beginner's Guide review

  • ExplodingClown 05/10/2015


    Hear hear. Of late, gaming feels less like a hobby and more like a religion, with its own inviolable doctrines and self-appointed jihadis. You just start wondering what's the point.

    That being said, the word 'game' is just too small to encompass the whole remit of what you can entertain yourself with electronically now. 'Game' is to electronic entertainment what 'cartoon' is to animation - both prescriptive and reductive.

    I suppose we could go down the Marcel Duchamp urinal route and just say that something is a game because the creator says it is. Not sure who'd get that title in the clusterfuck that seems to compose so much game production now. I miss the days of the bedroom coders :(
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 01/10/2015

    This sounds like a companion piece to 'The Magic Circle', being another game about stymied creativity. TMC is a little treasure, and laugh-out-loud funny to boot. Reply +1
  • DieselStormers forced to change name after Diesel wins trademark dispute

  • ExplodingClown 02/10/2015

    I still remember when Molson breweries attempted to trademark the word 'Canadian'.

    Corporations are forever trying this shit. This is as much a bit of legal dick-wagging as anything, flexing their litigation muscles by bullying a much smaller opponent without a large legal fund.

    (the name 'Dieselstormers' doesn't seem to bear any relation to any aspect of the game, so it shouldn't be any great loss)
    Reply +1
  • Nomad sky: Worlds Adrift is an unusual game

  • ExplodingClown 01/10/2015


    Yup! Also known as 'Pattern Recognition' in the UK.
    Reply +2
  • Californium is the game that Dick heads deserve

  • ExplodingClown 27/09/2015

    Ooh! So with Californium based on PKD's work, and 'Tangiers' taking heavily from William Burroughs, could we shortly see some heavy psychedelic literacy gaming? (not sure that's a catchy name for a genre though) Reply 0
  • Several prominent voice actors have voted to strike

  • ExplodingClown 23/09/2015

    I really, really hope they do achieve a better deal for the talented voice actors out there, who deserve more recognition.

    Sadly the industry being what it is, it'll probably just result in more of this....
    Reply -3
  • Metal Gear Solid 5 will have horse armour DLC

  • ExplodingClown 18/09/2015

    But will it have TITSTITSTITS? Reply -1
  • The BBC's Grand Theft Auto drama was weird and meaningless

  • ExplodingClown 17/09/2015

    @Carpetfluff +1. R* need to plough some of their millions into hiring some actual writers who can write. And not just the plot, but the ambient dialogue too: the GTA 'satire' is so adolescent and heavy-handed it's painful. Ideally get some writers from The Onion in, there's no-one better at holding up a wonky mirror to the absurdities of US culture. Reply 0
  • Video: These Cuphead bosses will ruin your life

  • ExplodingClown 13/09/2015

    I love the art style, but am incredibly bad at bullet hell shooters (only the artwork keeps me coming back to Sine Mora). Really hoping this has a difficulty setting option... :o Reply 0
  • When being a fan turns into a career

  • ExplodingClown 07/09/2015

    I must admit, I thought Ernest Cline was going to figure in this article somewhere, bearing in mind Ready Player One was pretty much a string of fanservice shoutouts (a fun enough read admittedly, though the guy can't write for toffee). That being said, Armada was so bad it puts in question how long he can milk it. Reply 0
  • 1080p60 and beyond: the best PC hardware for Metal Gear Solid 5

  • ExplodingClown 06/09/2015

    But how does it render the TITSTITSTITS?? Reply +30
  • The modern day Thief reboot that never was

  • ExplodingClown 01/09/2015


    Granted, though we're none of us as young as we were :) An older Garrett voiced by Russell could have been good as a cameo character to guide and advise the younger player protagonist (that Squenix obviously insisted on for Thief 2014 as a misguided appeal to da kidz), but his story was completed in Deadly Shadows when he takes on the mentor role for the street child like the one he once was, and by implication embodies a new beginning for the Keepers after the destruction of the old order, and the completion of the Pagan-Hammerite-Keeper trinity of schism, chaos and renewal.

    It's fun to theorise :)
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 31/08/2015


    I think I'd probably have bothered with Thief-reboot if they hadn't, well, framed it as a reboot. Steven Russell *is* Garrett, so losing him as a voice actor was a big red flag - all they had to do was come up with a new character who simply WASN'T Garrett, and they'd have encountered much less fanbase hostility. The City is practically a character itself, with such an obscure and twisted history and structure, complex social relations and factions, so they already had a rich setting to work with, but from what I read it was just used as a cosmetic backdrop for nothing much of interest. :(
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 31/08/2015

    The Dark Mod is the closest you can get to the original Thief games. As much as another Thief game would have been welcome, this modern day setting with Garrett in a hoodie does sound like a bad misstep, and with publisher interference pushing the shooter aspect, I think this would have been a big letdown. Dishonored has made up for it in spades.

    Say what one will about Deadly Shadows - rarely is the complaint about 'consolification' justified, but in that case the soul of Thief was pretty damaged by those tiny pocket-sized areas jammed into what a console of that generation could handle. The plot worked fine though, it closed Garrett's story circle very nicely, and the hag was genuinely more unpleasant than most of the boo-scare gore-heavy enemies in many supposed horror games. Plus: Shalebridge Cradle.
    Reply +12
  • Borderlands movie in the works

  • ExplodingClown 28/08/2015

    we'll make the movie with the same in-your-face attitude that has made the series a blockbuster mega-franchise
    Toes curled.
    Reply +5
  • Proteus dev reveals Russian fairytale adventure Forest of Sleep

  • ExplodingClown 27/08/2015

    I love the aesthetic, and the basic idea sounds intriguing. Hell, I'll buy it just for the bear with the balalaika. Reply +2
  • Angry Birds developer Rovio to lay off 260 staff

  • ExplodingClown 26/08/2015

    Angry Staff. Reply 0
  • Funcom unveils The Park, a single-player horror set in an abandoned theme park

  • ExplodingClown 26/08/2015

    The art and sound in Age of Conan were beautiful, and the landscapes interesting and full of potential. It was such a shame they made it an MMO, it would have been a fantastic single player RPG. Never played Secret World, but the concept sounded great - again, the MMO thing just put up a big 'no' flag. Hope this helps them financially. Reply +3
  • Our first look at Batman: Arkham Knight's 1989 Batmobile in action

  • ExplodingClown 14/08/2015

    Fuck me, the presenter of that video was like human tinnitus. Also too old for the schtick, coming across like a creepy neckbeard Timmy Mallett. Reply 0
  • Grip, the spiritual successor to Rollcage, takes to Kickstarter

  • ExplodingClown 12/08/2015

    I miss Extreme-G... :cry: Reply 0
  • Pixels: the Eurogamer review

  • ExplodingClown 10/08/2015


    U mad, bro?


    A part of me died when I saw they'd used all that expensive CGI to... make Q*bert piss.
    Reply 0
  • The Soulful machinery of Armored Core

  • ExplodingClown 09/08/2015


    Agreed. Kuon and Echo Night Beyond are nothing like the Souls games, and excellent in their own right (as well as being creepy as fuck).
    Reply +1
  • ExplodingClown 09/08/2015


    "The mech game I really want is a new, singleplayer focused Mechwarrior-style game. Slower, more tactical and with a real sense of weight to it".

    Absurdly-100% agree. Only likely to pop up on kickstarter though
    Also agree. And coupled with a VR headset to really give you the sense you're sitting in a massive machine, it's a no-brainer.

    If only Hawken had a single-player campaign.... :(
    Reply +4
  • Yager has lost Dead Island 2, but it still has Dreadnought

  • ExplodingClown 07/08/2015

    Wesley, they've also mentioned a story-driven single player campaign. As one of the Yager team posted on the forum,

    It will be episodic - you already knew that.

    There will definitely be lore and a story. We don't hire our talented writers (Dan Abnett among them) just to hang out with them =D

    In the first interviews we often talk about Sid Meier's Pirates as a strong source of inspiration. Maybe some of you know this game. It's a bit older - but good none the less, worth to check it out!
    Maybe that hint will excite your imagination a bit ;)

    Unfortunately there is not much more we can share with you - yet. One day, in a not so far future, you'll get all the details.
    But it is not this day.
    Any info on that?
    Reply +3
  • Fallout 4 won't have a level cap

  • ExplodingClown 07/08/2015


    'Most people'

    Hard to believe bearing in mind its loyal following. I found it made me replay the game, giving more careful thought to what I did, and added a real sense of growing anxiety: everything that cost me time was a moral choice balancing possible loot against the lives of my friends in Vault 13, and in a more organic way than the forced 'crisis moments' in something like Mass Effect (which I still enjoyed, even if it was hokey and vaguely fascistic).

    If you can't fail, where's the drama in the story? It all just becomes pandering to the adolescent messiah complex, like the worst of BioWare's output.
    Reply +2