ExplodingClown Comments

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  • Video: Games with awful product tie-ins

  • ExplodingClown 02/07/2015

    To be fair Johnny, you still look like a 12 year old, just one with a stick-on beard.

    In-game real ads are probably worse than cross-promotions (except in stuff like FIFA of course). Nothing ruins escapism like product placement :(
    Reply +3
  • To the Batmobile? The trouble with Arkham Knight's biggest addition

  • ExplodingClown 02/07/2015

    It seems like Rocksteady anticipated this reaction. If you take the time to listen to the assorted thugs across the city chatting to each other (before you swoop down and knock out their teeth), there's an exchange about the Batmobile where one talks about the previous (Arkham Asylum) one and how he prefers the classic, sports car look. I can't remember the exact words, but anyone playing is bound to hear them sooner or later.

    In fairness I'd love to have the beautiful Arkham Asylum batmobile (described perfectly in this article: a mixture of Keaton and Animated batmobiles) as at least an option - maybe as endgame content, to drive around the city when it's completely unlocked and no more tank fights - but I can see why they went down the direction they did.

    As far as the rear aspect goes, it does still reference the Asylum batmobile's tail quite heavily. If you unlocked the character trophy for it in Asylum, take a look. Yes the rounded 'passenger pod' lacks the racy feel, but function trumps form this time.

    Personally I'm more irked that they made Catwoman look like Bjork. Where's the black eyeshadow?
    Reply +1
  • Battlezone 1998 is getting remastered for PC

  • ExplodingClown 30/06/2015

    @iamdulynoted

    We're going to have to disagree on this one. Anyway, won't be buying this as far too many promising new games to get through in the near future - Dreadnought, for example. Nostalgia just clogs the pipes. Also, I lost faith with Rebellion after their horrible Aliens Vs Predator remake from a couple of years ago (we won't mention Rogue Warrior either).
    Reply -5
  • ExplodingClown 30/06/2015

    Battlezone (1998) was a cracking game, let down by an overly-serious tone. It would have been a solid gold classic had its approach veered more towards parody - say, a little more like Iron Brigade or Dr. Strangelove, maybe with R. Lee Ermey doing his stuff, instead of a po-faced generic gravelly voice trying to inject angst into a game about Cold War hovertanks on the moon. But then the 90s also gave us Nu-Metal and Mullet Superman, so Battlezone's failings pale in comparison. Reply -6
  • Batman: Arkham Knight PC fixes are "significant" and "will take some time"

  • ExplodingClown 30/06/2015



    If this isn't a bomb, nothing is.

    (still, I did just pick up the Season Pass for 10, so there's a silver lining somewhere...)
    Reply 0
  • Video: Arkham Knight, Mass Effect Andromeda and a mystery thing - The Eurogamer Show

  • ExplodingClown 28/06/2015

    Not sure where to mention this, but as there's an Arkham Knight section in this vid: it looks like a Steam patch has put the originally-missing-yet-seen-in-the-NVidia-trailer rainy surfaces into the PC version. Damage control at its most urgent.... Reply 0
  • Rise of the Tomb Raider brings back Lara's sense of adventure

  • ExplodingClown 27/06/2015

    @RobertPaulson

    Not sure you quite grasp the nature of differential power bases. But hey, I bet your online dating profile's a blast :)
    Reply +4
  • ExplodingClown 26/06/2015

    Does it still have the vomit-inducing camera? When nu-Lara ran in the 2013 game it felt like she was being followed around by a drunk film crew with Parkinsons Disease.

    Hell yes, more character desperately needed. More incipient psychosis, the kind that prompts near-suicidal risk taking and guilt-free homicide/wolficide/bearicide.

    And ideally a new voice actress. A mildly depressed porn actress could have given a more involving dialogue reading than Camilla Luddington, voice of the reboot.

    Oh yes, and 'Rise of...' should be banned from game and film titles for at least 5 years. Rise of the Godslayer, Rise of the Lich King, Rise of Nations, rise rise rise etc. Pretty much the only game that could get away with using 'Rise of' in its title would be a prequel to I Am Bread.
    Reply +1
  • Tale of Tales is sunsetting its studio following Sunset

  • ExplodingClown 24/06/2015

    a grizzly coming-of-age parable
    Do you by any chance mean 'grisly'? Because there weren't any bears in The Path that I recall.

    Literacy lies bleeding.
    Reply +1
  • Devolver Digital brings Norse mythology to PS4 and PC in Eitr

  • ExplodingClown 20/06/2015

    @redcrayon

    Fair points all. I'm ancient enough to have started with a 'TV Sports' console - (Tennis! Squash! Football! All in glorious monochrome!) so I'm no stranger to pixel art, which for me reached its heights on the Amiga. I can appreciate it's now just one more option in the artist's palette when going for a desired look and feel: it's just often unclear whether the choice *is* aesthetic, or just some kind of LOL OLD STUFF/SO QUIRKY decision someone pulled out of their arse :-/
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 19/06/2015

    I can see Ginryu's point while holding exactly no opinion on its validity. If you're old enough to remember when pixel art was the bleeding edge of graphics technology, and then you watched the medium's evolution up to the billion-polycount visuals of today, you tend to start seeing pixel art when used by a new game as a kind of deliberately obtuse affectation (much as when you see some 20something in a Hoxton cafe typing on an old ribbon-and-arms typewriter). The little of the game on display here doesn't really allow for a balanced judgment, though that small screenshot does look uncomfortably muddy and indistinct. Reply 0
  • Zeno Clash dev announces The Deadly Tower of Monsters

  • ExplodingClown 13/06/2015

    ACE Team always manage to come out with something refreshing and unique. Sold. Reply 0
  • Ready at Dawn doesn't own The Order but would "love" to be a part of its future

  • ExplodingClown 08/06/2015

    A lot of talk about "the future" for a game that has none. Reply -15
  • We Happy Few launches on Kickstarter

  • ExplodingClown 05/06/2015

    Bioshock meets No One Lives Forever? Sold. Reply 0
  • Far Cry, Deus Ex devs unite for racing FPS Bios

  • ExplodingClown 04/06/2015

    For all the frenetic pace, this looks massively dull. Is it specifically going to be marketed to those with ADHD? Reply 0
  • Hatred review

  • ExplodingClown 04/06/2015

    So basically it's the Katie Hopkins of gaming. Desperately spewing bile in an attempt to court controversy and seek attention, but just meriting weary shrugs.

    Though at least you can uninstall Hatred.

    Edit: thinking about it, the most disturbingly violent game I've ever played is still Soldier of Fortune 2. Seeing enemies with bloody shards of glass sticking out of their flesh because they were the other side of a window when a grenade went off nearby, or watching them vomit when shot in the stomach, or hearing their horrified howls of agony as they waved the stump of an arm that had just been abruptly amputated with a shotgun blast, managed to make even my more angrily sadistic younger self feel a twinge of disquiet. That game is now 13 years old....
    Reply +2
  • XCOM 2 announced for PC this November

  • ExplodingClown 01/06/2015

    What? No 'Terror From The Deep'? :(

    The feeling I get from this is very Half-Life 2. I'm guessing the new alien administration is much like the Combine, all outward-benevolence-hiding-sinister-motives and that the destruction of the enemy mothership in Xcom 1 somehow allowed an even worse extraterrestrial threat to waltz in and set up shop. That being said, it'd be a nice twist if for once the alien overlords turned out to be genuinely benevolent, and the human resistance were just a load of bigoted pricks.

    Think I might buy Satellite Reign instead.
    Reply 0
  • Batman: Arkham Knight is another step away from the intimacy of Arkham Asylum

  • ExplodingClown 30/05/2015

    @linkenski

    I suspect it's less Rocksteady to blame for the direction things are moving than the iron corporate grip of WB/DC on the backs of their necks. Bearing in mind how fanatical they reputedly are about creative control of their IP (especially with Marvel currently trouncing them in the bankability stakes), it must be a nightmare to try to put a project together with them having final approval on every little thing you do....
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 28/05/2015

    Still not put off, though I dislike the movement of the art style away from the more fantastic Asylum/City look to the kind of tiresome COD-lite fake realism of Origins. No doubt it's to show off the new engine and all, but what appears in the screenshots so far is harsh and ugly and misses that Gothic-grotesque sweet spot the other games hit so well.

    Apparently the DLC (so says the Season Pass blurb anyway) will include "classic" Batmobiles and outfits. I'm kind of hoping that'll include the Asylum ones; will be stoked if it includes the Tim Burton ones; and will feel quiet sorrow if it just settles for the Nolan ones, though I liked the Dark Knight trilogy on its own merits. Any appearance of the Adam West gear will not be appreciated if the sound effects don't match. Boosters to 'Speed'!
    Reply +2
  • Carmageddon: Reincarnation review

  • ExplodingClown 30/05/2015

    Just Cause, Far Cry and Grand Theft Auto all come with advanced vehicular manslaughter fitted as standard
    ...whether you agree with that questionable statement or not, they also came with gigantic budgets from very wealthy publishers, and were made by very large teams. Stainless had to first buy back the rights to Carmageddon, and raise funding through Kickstarter. Bearing in mind how many KS projects stall, it's pleasant to see it made it to any kind of release.

    Plus, the cars look damn gorgeous now. And it was always about the cars. Maybe Carmageddon was the bootleg 'Death Race 2000' with a little dash of 'The Cars That Ate Paris', but it always skewed more heavily towards 'Wacky Races with psychopaths'.

    Only problem I've had with it is the severely tiresome levels of puerile scatology in much of the in-game text, which often tries so hard to fit in some sub-Viz adolescent sniggering it loses all meaning (I still can't figure out what 'After Touching Cloth' powerup actually does). But a quick internet search found some tools provided by the modding community, so that was easy enough to change.
    Reply +5
  • Double Fine regains Iron Brigade publishing rights, PC version now 80% off

  • ExplodingClown 28/05/2015

    Oh thank FUCK. I uninstalled this because pissing GFWL kept interrupting, but had been really enjoying it til that point. Re-installing right now! Reply 0
  • Where is GTA5's single-player story DLC?

  • ExplodingClown 21/05/2015

    If they'd just spend some of their squillions on decent writers, they'd probably have released this by now. All the pretty graphics and huge gameworld can't disguise how fucking tired the GTA 'schtick' feels. Reply -2
  • Homophobic and transphobic game removed from Steam Greenlight

  • ExplodingClown 06/05/2015

    Ah. So "I'm trolling" is just the new Irony Defence, eh? Though it seems that posturing as a martyr to speech repression when you get called out for being a prick never gets old. It's about 90% of Fox News content, for a start.

    Also it's really confusing when people start the old 'PC' verbiage on a videogame website. Quite a lot of cognitive dissonance for a while as I tried to work out what your gaming platform of choice had to do with a distaste for bigotry.

    Yeah, but this just looks really idiotic. If you're trying to make a point about people being overly sensitive, hijacking causes, white knighting, whatever you want to call it, you've got to do it with more wit and subtlety than this. You can run up to an elderly nun and shout "CUNT!" but you can't claim by doing it you're making some kind of incisive critique about the Catholic church's ingrained revulsion for human sexuality. In a suitable context, this as a mini-game could have been a really strong moment in a bigger game - maybe a character is playing something and really getting off on it, you can't see what it is, then they offer you a go without telling you anything, and Whoa Nelly! Now it will only be remembered - if at all - as a big sticky skid mark on Mr. Herman's CV.
    Reply +2
  • New Batman: Arkham Knight trailer shows off Robin, Nightwing and Catwoman

  • ExplodingClown 28/04/2015

    Hope you get to play as the other characters outside of challenge maps or using them as power ups. The Catwoman sections of AC were a joy because of the speed and agility of the character, the fighting felt fast and light, and navigating the city took a bit of thought. Going back to being Batman felt almost cumbersome afterward. Reply 0
  • Footage released of canned Alan Wake 2 prototype

  • ExplodingClown 21/04/2015

    Barry was a character you'd never get tired of punching, and Alan's writing wasn't so much "stuffy" as flat-out dreadful, like Dan Brown with a head injury. The game was fun, but dumb as fuck. Reply 0
  • New Mad Max screenshots surface

  • ExplodingClown 21/04/2015

    Mad Max's return to video game form
    Return? I don't recall there ever being a Mad Max game before. Numerous ripoffs of course, but nothing bearing the name.

    Pedantry aside, the lack of Australian voices in the trailer made me nervous. The screenies are Ok, but until I read some hands-on reportage about this game, money stays in pocket (but I really, really want it to be good).
    Reply 0
  • Deus Ex: Mankind Divided gets a debut trailer

  • ExplodingClown 08/04/2015

    @RorschachCCCLX

    His work on XCOM: Enemy Unknown is sublime too.
    Reply 0
  • ExplodingClown 08/04/2015

    Will Adam still have those buck teeth? Reply 0
  • Tomb Raider reboot has sold 8.5m copies

  • ExplodingClown 07/04/2015

    I suspect a lot of these sales were when the price plummeted several months after launch, or in Steam clearcutting sales. And sales don't equal approval. Frankly the Tomb Raider reboot made me want my money back. Reply 0
  • "He suddenly became incredibly sullen, angry and frustrated. He was 10"

  • ExplodingClown 02/04/2015

    @RobertPaulson

    Beautifully, eloquently put. I just got out of the Family Courts after nearly 8 years working on Children Act cases, including some of the most squalid Care matters. I suspect people would find it hard to believe how often CAFCASS reports or Guardian's Reports or Local Authority Section 37 Reports talk about 'age-inappropriate material'.
    Reply 0
  • Assassin's Creed Chronicles now a three-part series set in China, India, Russia

  • ExplodingClown 01/04/2015

    I was interested until I read that to have the faintest idea why any of the characters are doing anything, I'd have to watch a video, read some graphic novels, etc etc. As someone still trying to find the time to start AC Brotherhood, keeping up with AssCreed is feeling more and more like trying to clear backlogs of work :( Reply 0
  • Video: Why Telltale's new IP might be its best game yet

  • ExplodingClown 26/02/2015

    Agh. Cross-media tie-ins are a pain in the arse. 'Enter The Matrix' proved that pretty decisively. I'd much rather Telltale followed up 'The Wolf Among Us', or just did their own thing without forcing you to watch a TV show which may be on a channel you don't get, or will never get, depending on where you live. Reply +2
  • Succulent is a popsicle-sucking parody game you have to see

  • ExplodingClown 15/01/2015

    Is that Dapper Laughs in the picture? Reply 0
  • Blacklight and Daylight developer Zombie Studios officially shuts down

  • ExplodingClown 09/01/2015

    Zork Nemesis was wonderful.

    Daylight, however, was pish.

    Good luck to all the staff, may they find new jobs soon.
    Reply +2
  • Former S.T.A.L.K.E.R. team delivers Survarium into open beta

  • ExplodingClown 06/01/2015

    If there's a way to solo despite being online, like Elite Dangerous, I'm in. Reply +1
  • The first Elite: Dangerous player to reach Triple Elite status gets 10K

  • ExplodingClown 17/12/2014

    What makes me nervous about the decision to kill the offline game is the numbers. I'm still waiting to see the business model that allows them to run the "Amazon quality" servers without introducing microtransactions or subscriptions or gouging for DLC. Selling paintjobs for ships (that you only see when you're equipping) seems to be a pretty thin revenue stream compared to the constantly running tap that is server upkeep.

    Personally I've only been soloing the Beta/Gamma, and have no interest in any of the MMO aspects at all. So no prize here.
    Reply +2
  • Apple required Papers, Please to censor its nudity

  • ExplodingClown 12/12/2014

    Better cover up those piano legs, eh Apple? Puritan bullshit from the company that allowed world-class cunt Bono to sneak in and take a dump in everyone's iTunes.

    It's bad enough we're seeing the accelerating slide backwards toward the 19th Century economically and socially, let alone morally. Guns Good: Bodies Bad! Make war not love.
    Reply +7
  • Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell goes all Disney in new musical trailer

  • ExplodingClown 04/12/2014

    Having not played The Third, I was very happy to get SRIV in a Steam sale and find out Johnny Gat was dead, having hated him from 5 minutes after he appeared in SR2 (I didn't play the first game).

    Then lo and behold, he comes back. This is the point when I stopped caring about SRIV.

    He's just an incredibly tiresome, one-note character: obnoxious and violent, yet not deranged enough to be interesting, like, say, Trevor from GTA5.

    So no sale. Sorry Volition.
    Reply 0
  • Survival racer Distance boosts to PS4 in 2015

  • ExplodingClown 02/12/2014

    Reminds me of POD for some reason. Quite interesting, but I'd rather have a new XG game, because Akira bikes. Reply 0
  • Escape Dead Island review

  • ExplodingClown 27/11/2014

    tiresome corporate conspiracy plotline
    This.

    Yes, corporations are evil - younger readers may want to google "Bhopal" or "Ford pinto fuel tank" for a quick primer - but this is sooo hackneyed now. One of the reasons the recent remake of 'The Crazies' worked so well was that it didn't have any real villains: an accident causes a ripple which builds into a tidal wave of chaos and by the time it's obvious things are going bad, it's too late. Entropy is always waiting to spoil your day.

    Also, zombie plagues or infected or whatever, only really work when they're a force that throws ordinary people into situations of extreme duress where moral and behavioural norms become meaningless or actively unhelpful: which is why Telltale's 'Walking Dead' works so well - it's not about dim shambling corpses or hordes of screaming running maniacs, it's about people (the banter between the survivors in Left 4 Dead is one of the most memorable features). If the people as in this game are unlikeable twunts, and the gameplay doesn't even serve up satisfying cathartic violence, what's the point?

    Edit: there's one positive with this game - no tacky 'mutilated torso statuette'-type marketing gimmick. No, Deep Silver, we haven't forgotten. God help the Metro series if 4A don't change publisher.
    Reply +10
  • Elite: Dangerous, David Braben and a scale model Cobra MK III

  • ExplodingClown 25/11/2014

    My heart did sink at the news about always online. The only thing that worries me about the non-offline nature of Elite Dangerous now (EG, can you turn the damn auto-smileys off?) is that they're going to need a constant sizeable revenue stream to keep those "Amazon level" servers they keep mentioning active.

    So, does Elite turn into 'World of Spacecraft'? Does that mean no permadeath? If so, what's at stake?

    I bought the chrome Viper skin as a way of supporting development, regarding it not so much as a pay-for-swag item as a small reward for a donation, but looking on the Frontier store at how absurdly overpriced some of those ship paintjobs are, I wonder if the lure of introducing microtransactions isn't going to get stronger over time (or - God forbid - someone proposes a tiered subscription model).

    I want to see some numbers. Now Egosoft have shat the bed with X Rebirth (I hated those fucking awful alien races and that dreadful voice acting anyway) Elite is the only way I have of approximating my childhood dreams of spaceflight. Unless you count Richard Branson's 'lottery winner high altitude cremation service'.

    Already pissed at Braben that 'The Insider' got canned, that looked good.

    Edit:

    Oh shit.

    From Insidermedia.com, 4.9.14:

    VIDEO GAMES MAKER SLIPS INTO THE RED
    Cambridge-headquartered video games maker Frontier Developments has slipped into pre-tax losses of more than 1.5m as it continued to invest in its Elite: Dangerous game.

    Turnover was 9.5m for the year to 31 May 2014, down from 12.1m the year before.

    The group, which has studios in Cambridge and Halifax (Canada), reported a pre-tax loss of 1.6m for the year, compared to pre-tax profits of almost 1.1m in 2013.

    Frontier said it had entered a planned transitional investment phase after its IPO to develop and launch Elite: Dangerous, its first large-budget self-published title.

    Chief executive officer David Braben said: "We started the current financial year as we expected and are now executing the transition of our business to its next stage. I believe that the continued delivery of our plan will result in greater opportunity and return."

    On 30 April 2014, Frontier had raised 2.7m through crowdfunding website Kickstarter and its own site to develop Elite: Dangerous.
    Reply +1
  • Sunset Overdrive review

  • ExplodingClown 14/11/2014

    Sadly all the marketing for this has been so horribly pleased with itself that I'll have to wait for my hype-induced gag reflex to settle down before trying it. Reply 0
  • Walking is the new shooting

  • ExplodingClown 19/10/2014

    Such a shame most of the writing and acting in Alien:Isolation is terrible. The plot alone is like a whistle stop tour of dismal cliches from the canon, fanon and expanded universe. Don't even get me started on the voicing for Ricardo. Reply -1
  • Demon's Souls still feels fresher than its "Dark" successors

  • ExplodingClown 06/10/2014

    There's a dreamlike quality to Demon's Souls that sets it aside from most anything else I've played. Most uncompromising combat since Severance: Blade of Darkness too. Reply 0
  • Alien: Isolation review

  • ExplodingClown 03/10/2014

    @George-Roper

    You are correct, sir. When Bolaji Badejo first walked onto the set in the full costume, someone suggested having him run around. Ridley Scott roundly rejected the idea, saying he practically wanted him balancing on one finger at one point: the antithesis of 'man-in-rubber-suit' movies of yore. Having watched first-hour playthrough on Youtube, it's definitely a misstep to show the Alien walking about a lit room (to quote Polygon) "like a meth addict looking for his keys".

    A lot of the dialogue's pretty badly written too. Voice acting's patchy, from what I've heard of it. This is looking increasingly like a Steam sale purchase. What a shame - I still remember Mind Games' 'Alien' on the Spectrum making me jump out of my skin.
    Reply +1
  • Dead or Alive 5's Bath and Bedtime DLC could be its creepiest yet

  • ExplodingClown 04/08/2014

    @MrTomFTW

    Spinal Tap reference?


    No-one who owns a DOA game will ever see an actual woman naked without having their nose pressed to a bathroom window. If the publishers want to milk a few sovs out of the permavirgins, that's commerce....
    Reply -7
  • Lara Croft and the Temple of Osiris is the best of classic Tomb Raider

  • ExplodingClown 25/07/2014

    But not everyone preferred the game's constant goddamn QTEs
    Fixed that for you.
    Reply 0
  • Details emerge on Prospero, the Valve game that never was

  • ExplodingClown 22/07/2014

    it's just a question of how long until we get around to doing it
    ...someone's taking the piss.

    I'd pay for Early Access if they decide to resurrect this though.
    Reply +2
  • Report: Murdered: Soul Suspect dev Airtight closes down

  • ExplodingClown 02/07/2014

    The jetpack bits of Dark Void were brilliant. If they'd been allowed to make a Rocketeer game, it would have been ace :( Reply 0
  • Bungie to update Peter Dinklage's lacklustre Destiny performance

  • ExplodingClown 01/07/2014

    Even the finest actor can't salvage terrible writing. George Lucas showed us that. Reply +31