Nasty Martin Freeman. Plays Bagginses he does. Not very well he does. He's just Martin Freemans all the way through he is.
Lots of dwarves and hobbits runs around they does. Gay Gandalf walks around on stiltses he does. Tall wizard. Yesssss.
Lots of battles there is. Nobody dies though. Nasty dwarves and hobbitses. Dies they should, dies. At least ones or twos of them, just for us. Even a cuts would have dones for us. Yes, nasty cuts yes. Not a hair out of place though. Stupid dwarves and hobbitses.
Best bit of film is when we appear. Yessss. We make the film we does. Yessss. Nothing else happenses no. Lots of scene setting for next filmses. Lots of battles, none of them matters though does it. No.
4ses out of 10ses.
Any Netflix library in the world for a couple of quid a month? Gimme!