The Sweeney - 2/10|
A film that is so awful, that everyone associated with it should get nicked by the real flying squad, put behind bars and then have the key thrown away.
On paper is sounds like a potentially decent idea. Get 'ardman Winstone and team him up with Plan B and do a film version of the terrific TV series for the modern generation. Thrown in Damian Lewis from Homeland and what could possibly go wrong?
Everything is the answer. The acting is truly awful from everyone involved, especially from Plan B. He manages to produce two kinds of emotion. The "I'm a cheeky chappy" and the initial stages of processing being on the receiving end of "It's not you, it's me" dumping. I can feel your pain Mr. B. Only watching this is much, much worse.
The plot is not really worth going into. I went into some trance like snooze whilst watching the climatic shootout and woke up when the end credits were on. Don't know how it ended and I don't even care to find out.
The only person of any note in this film is Hayley Atwell (Captain America). She plays a bit of a goer and one of the flying squad team. However, not even she can go anywhere near close to saving this film.
Also contains disturbing shots of Winstone in his grunderpants.
J. Edgar - 6.5/10
Clint Eastwood directs in an interesting film about the life of J. Edgar Hoover and the formation of the FBI.
The key word is interesting. It's an above average film that's helped along by a plot whereby you want to know what happens next and some very decent performances.
The plot constantly shifts back and forth in time between old Hoover and young Hoover. It goes though the events of how the FBI was formed and the one key case that solidified it's credibility. It also covers Hoover's gay relationship with Robert Irwin and briefly touches on his transvestite tendencies.
Eastwood is a superb director and he's got great source material here. However, the film is not without it's problems.
I found the make up not that convincing. Sometimes is looks great as they age DiCaprio but most of the time it's just not convincing at all. They would never have done it but they should have got different actors for the older version of themselves. It's very distracting and takes focus away from what's going on.
The film is also a bit flat. Even though it's not the intention but the film comes off like a documentary. The dramatic scenes are not that dramatic and although the story keeps you watching, it never really got me involved in it in any way.
This is the kind of film that would have been much better suited to a TV mini series or a three hour special. It's certainly worth a watch if you happen to stumble across it but I wouldn't suggest you go out of your way to see it.
Gangster Squad - 2/10
This Untouchables wannabe once again proves that The Untouchables is untouchable and falls far, far short from even being a semi-decent gangster film. An early contender for one of the worst films of 2013.
It all seems to be there. A cracking cast, the period setting, the snazzy costumes, the gangsters, the violence, the glamour and the "inspired by true events" statement, which means it's probably nothing at all like what really happened.
The biggest fail in this film is the biblical fail that is Sean Penn. His performance is so ludicrously OTT that it makes the characters in the film Dick Tracy seem positively subdued. It's laughable. I thought he was going to come out of the screen and chew up all the cinema seats. One scene in particular where he "want's everyone dead" echoes the same scene with Robert DeNiro in The Untouchables. The scene in this film is an utter embarrassment and highlights the utter gargantuan gap between these films.
Ah yes, The Untouchables. In this film, a small squad of men go all to take down the big, bad gangster. The team has a sharpshooter, a leader who takes his job over his family, the one who accidentally ends up in the team...Seem familiar?
There's also the music in this film. Even though it probably from the period in question, putting some kind of song and dance number over a shootout is just plain wrong. Again, this is an utter farce and turns it into something comical.
Even if your a big fan of Ryan Gosling or Emma Stone, it's best you stay away from this film. They seem to be sleepwalking through this film.
The film as one thing going for it. Robert Patrick who played the T100 in Terminator 2 steals the film as the sharpshooter. However, this is in no way a recommendation. This film is something of an unintentional farce. Predicable in the extreme, awful performances and badly judged directing decisions make this a film to avoid at all costs.
The Resident Evil films. I'm one of the reasons they keep making them.