How to revive interest in the long-since festering Jurassic Park series: give the dinosaurs guns! Because prehistoric predators which ruled the earth for millions of years really need to be carrying AK47s to make them more scary. According to horror site Bloody-Disgusting, that is the premise behind the forthcoming Jurassic Park 4, which will see Laura Dern return as Dr Ellie Sattler, although Sam Neill has wisely decided to opt out. The story, according to the site, is that the government has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes. Production is due to start in Kauai, Hawaii later this year.I like the way the actors from the first film appear to be working in shifts to star in the sequels.
Jurassic Park 4
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paul_haine 4,205 posts
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Registered 8 years agoAs spotted at the Guardian:
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Fozzie_bear 15,167 posts
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Registered 11 years agoNo doubt left that the series has jumped the brontosaurus then.
Thought it was a joke at first. It is a joke, right?Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!
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thefilthandthefury 24,477 posts
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Registered 8 years agoOh
My
God
Please tell me this is a joke. -
thefilthandthefury 24,477 posts
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Registered 8 years ago<a href=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369610/>IMDB</a> -
paul_haine 4,205 posts
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Registered 8 years agoSgtFrog wrote:
Unlike the unarmed ones?
Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. -
phAge 23,883 posts
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Registered 10 years agoSgtFrog wrote:
Dinosaus. With. Guns.
Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
No - you're right - sensible as can be. In fact, I feel my suspension of disbelief rising as we speak! -
Fozzie_bear 15,167 posts
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Registered 11 years agoThe Germans trained polar bears to sneak up and give people wedgies in the second world war. The effect on morale within the british army was devastating.Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!
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Khanivor 38,679 posts
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Registered 11 years agophAge wrote:
Um, we are talking about dinosaurs in the modern world. Disbelief was expelled with film number oneSgtFrog wrote:
Dinosaus. With. Guns.
Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
No - you're right - sensible as can be. In fact, I feel my suspension of disbelief rising as we speak!
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Ajay 2,411 posts
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Registered 10 years agoI don't think the concept of militarised dinos is that bad as long as it's done in the same way as militarised dolphins or whatever.
That said, the unintentional hilarity potential of raptors with frickin' gatling guns on their heads appeals to my b-movie side. -
phAge 23,883 posts
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Registered 10 years agoKhanivor wrote:
Only if you're a cynical git.phAge wrote:
Um, we are talking about dinosaurs in the modern world. Disbelief was expelled with film number oneSgtFrog wrote:
Dinosaus. With. Guns.
Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
No - you're right - sensible as can be. In fact, I feel my suspension of disbelief rising as we speak!.gif)
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BobsYourUncle 719 posts
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Registered 6 years agopaul_haine wrote:
Oh......
The story, according to the site, is that the government has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes. -
Khanivor 38,679 posts
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Registered 11 years agoWell I read that as the dinos are mules carrying weapons. Which would be a shame as I also think dinosaurs with frickin laser beams on their heads would be an awesome movie. -
phAge 23,883 posts
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Registered 10 years agoKhanivor wrote:
\o/
Well I read that as the dinos are mules carrying weapons. Which would be a shame as I also think dinosaurs with frickin laser beams on their heads would be an awesome movie. -
silentbob 28,764 posts
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Registered 10 years agoThat sounds awesome! Just not a Jurassic Park film that's all.VR Guff: www.roadtovr.com (NEW site now live!)
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RM2KMaster 3,281 posts
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Registered 7 years agoThe whole dinos with guns is an.....odd idea....
A raptor with a AK47 would be pretty lethal at least. Though how would they train them to aim? -
thefilthandthefury 24,477 posts
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Registered 8 years agoRM2KMaster wrote:
And to reload!
The whole dinos with guns is an.....odd idea....
A raptor with a AK47 would be pretty lethal at least. Though how would they train them to aim? -
Snuffb0t 506 posts
Seen 2 months ago
Registered 9 years agoSome kind of Pavlovian method where pressing R on the keyboard feeds them. Voila, raptors that reload when they're hungry. -
Bit odd for the Grauniad to report on this now, isn't it? This was first reported around two years ago.
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RM2KMaster 3,281 posts
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Registered 7 years agoI wonder if they'd train them in the art of hand to hand/close range combat as well?
I s'pose they wouldn't really need it... -
Lukus 18,702 posts
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Registered 8 years agosilentbob wrote:
Agreed. It's comedy gold!
That sounds awesome! Just not a Jurassic Park film that's all.Paintings & Photographs
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Whizzo 41,150 posts
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TechnoHippy 14,256 posts
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Registered 10 years agoWhizzo wrote:
Jurassic Cadillac has a nice ring to it.
It needs Cadillacs.The Cult of Me [ Blog ] [ e-book ] [ An Odd Quartet ]
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silentbob 28,764 posts
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Registered 10 years agoWhizzo wrote:
I never could find that damn game in the arcades. :/
It needs Cadillacs.VR Guff: www.roadtovr.com (NEW site now live!)
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Khab 6,575 posts
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Registered 11 years agoWhat in all sweet creation has ever brought this upon us? -
silentbob 28,764 posts
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Registered 10 years agoKhab wrote:
It's all our own fault for never going to see a movie with Laura Dern in it. Look what she's been reduced to!
What in all sweet creation has ever brought this upon us?VR Guff: www.roadtovr.com (NEW site now live!)
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WrongShui 6,467 posts
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Registered 8 years agoSgtFrog wrote:
Since raptors where about the size of dogs, no.
Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
This has to be fake, it can't be real. -
paul_haine 4,205 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 8 years agoGremmi wrote:
No, I'd say that sounds about right.
Bit odd for the Grauniad to report on this now, isn't it? This was first reported around two years ago. -
phAge 23,883 posts
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Registered 10 years agoWrongShui wrote:
I was about to call you a massif dong for writing that, but a quick Google reveals that Spielbergs badass mofo-saurs were, in fact, a bit wank.SgtFrog wrote:
Since raptors where about the size of dogs, no.
Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
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Nope, still no news on this project, although it was long confirmed that the news in the original post was bullshit.
I'm watching the original again at the moment (for the millionth time) and it STILL holds up well today (well, apart from some of the dinosaurs being factually wrong as we've recently discovered). I'm still looking forward to IV, the kid in me loves dinosaurs as much as I did when I first saw this film on the big screen. Since the second and third were not well received, maybe the franchise needs a reboot.. -
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