Jurassic Park 4

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  • paul_haine 15 Aug 2007 19:30:23 4,205 posts
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    As spotted at the Guardian:

    How to revive interest in the long-since festering Jurassic Park series: give the dinosaurs guns! Because prehistoric predators which ruled the earth for millions of years really need to be carrying AK47s to make them more scary. According to horror site Bloody-Disgusting, that is the premise behind the forthcoming Jurassic Park 4, which will see Laura Dern return as Dr Ellie Sattler, although Sam Neill has wisely decided to opt out. The story, according to the site, is that the government has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes. Production is due to start in Kauai, Hawaii later this year.

    I like the way the actors from the first film appear to be working in shifts to star in the sequels.
  • Pirotic Moderator 15 Aug 2007 19:31:30 20,646 posts
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    poster here.

    (anybody else remember that show?)
  • Fozzie_bear 15 Aug 2007 19:32:19 15,489 posts
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    No doubt left that the series has jumped the brontosaurus then.

    Thought it was a joke at first. It is a joke, right?

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  • thefilthandthefury 15 Aug 2007 19:32:26 24,952 posts
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    Oh

    My

    God

    Please tell me this is a joke.
  • thefilthandthefury 15 Aug 2007 19:33:27 24,952 posts
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    IMDB
  • paul_haine 15 Aug 2007 19:42:35 4,205 posts
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    SgtFrog wrote:
    Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal.

    Unlike the unarmed ones?
  • phAge 15 Aug 2007 19:45:35 24,337 posts
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    SgtFrog wrote:
    Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
    Dinosaus. With. Guns.

    No - you're right - sensible as can be. In fact, I feel my suspension of disbelief rising as we speak!
  • Fozzie_bear 15 Aug 2007 19:47:23 15,489 posts
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    The Germans trained polar bears to sneak up and give people wedgies in the second world war. The effect on morale within the british army was devastating.

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  • Khanivor 15 Aug 2007 19:50:40 40,403 posts
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    phAge wrote:
    SgtFrog wrote:
    Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
    Dinosaus. With. Guns.

    No - you're right - sensible as can be. In fact, I feel my suspension of disbelief rising as we speak!

    Um, we are talking about dinosaurs in the modern world. Disbelief was expelled with film number one :)
  • Ajay 15 Aug 2007 19:51:09 2,412 posts
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    I don't think the concept of militarised dinos is that bad as long as it's done in the same way as militarised dolphins or whatever.

    That said, the unintentional hilarity potential of raptors with frickin' gatling guns on their heads appeals to my b-movie side.
  • phAge 15 Aug 2007 19:51:11 24,337 posts
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    Khanivor wrote:
    phAge wrote:
    SgtFrog wrote:
    Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.
    Dinosaus. With. Guns.

    No - you're right - sensible as can be. In fact, I feel my suspension of disbelief rising as we speak!

    Um, we are talking about dinosaurs in the modern world. Disbelief was expelled with film number one :)
    Only if you're a cynical git. :)
  • BobsYourUncle 15 Aug 2007 19:52:07 719 posts
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    paul_haine wrote:
    The story, according to the site, is that the government has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes.

    Oh......
  • Khanivor 15 Aug 2007 19:57:10 40,403 posts
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    Well I read that as the dinos are mules carrying weapons. Which would be a shame as I also think dinosaurs with frickin laser beams on their heads would be an awesome movie.
  • phAge 15 Aug 2007 20:04:52 24,337 posts
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    Khanivor wrote:
    Well I read that as the dinos are mules carrying weapons. Which would be a shame as I also think dinosaurs with frickin laser beams on their heads would be an awesome movie.
    \o/
  • silentbob 15 Aug 2007 21:02:46 28,950 posts
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    That sounds awesome! Just not a Jurassic Park film that's all.

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  • RM2KMaster 15 Aug 2007 21:13:17 3,283 posts
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    The whole dinos with guns is an.....odd idea....
    A raptor with a AK47 would be pretty lethal at least. Though how would they train them to aim?
  • thefilthandthefury 15 Aug 2007 21:16:03 24,952 posts
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    RM2KMaster wrote:
    The whole dinos with guns is an.....odd idea....
    A raptor with a AK47 would be pretty lethal at least. Though how would they train them to aim?

    And to reload!
  • Snuffb0t 15 Aug 2007 21:27:10 506 posts
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    Some kind of Pavlovian method where pressing R on the keyboard feeds them. Voila, raptors that reload when they're hungry.
  • Deleted user 15 August 2007 21:34:09
    Bit odd for the Grauniad to report on this now, isn't it? This was first reported around two years ago.
  • RM2KMaster 15 Aug 2007 21:34:10 3,283 posts
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    I wonder if they'd train them in the art of hand to hand/close range combat as well?
    I s'pose they wouldn't really need it...
  • Lukus 15 Aug 2007 22:06:24 19,006 posts
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    silentbob wrote:
    That sounds awesome! Just not a Jurassic Park film that's all.
    Agreed. It's comedy gold!

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  • Whizzo 15 Aug 2007 22:15:28 43,038 posts
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    It needs Cadillacs.

    This space left intentionally blank.

  • TechnoHippy 15 Aug 2007 22:19:07 14,698 posts
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    Whizzo wrote:
    It needs Cadillacs.

    Jurassic Cadillac has a nice ring to it.

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  • silentbob 15 Aug 2007 22:30:31 28,950 posts
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    Whizzo wrote:
    It needs Cadillacs.
    I never could find that damn game in the arcades. :/

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  • Khab 15 Aug 2007 22:34:52 6,576 posts
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    What in all sweet creation has ever brought this upon us?
  • silentbob 15 Aug 2007 22:36:49 28,950 posts
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    Khab wrote:
    What in all sweet creation has ever brought this upon us?
    It's all our own fault for never going to see a movie with Laura Dern in it. Look what she's been reduced to!

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  • WrongShui 15 Aug 2007 22:39:40 6,601 posts
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    SgtFrog wrote:
    Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.

    Since raptors where about the size of dogs, no.

    This has to be fake, it can't be real.
  • paul_haine 15 Aug 2007 22:39:53 4,205 posts
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    Gremmi wrote:
    Bit odd for the Grauniad to report on this now, isn't it? This was first reported around two years ago.

    No, I'd say that sounds about right.
  • phAge 15 Aug 2007 22:55:59 24,337 posts
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    WrongShui wrote:
    SgtFrog wrote:
    Think about it, a raptor with ranged weapons? Flipping lethal. In the real world we've already used and continue to use some animals in the military so this isn't totally as nuts as it seems.

    Since raptors where about the size of dogs, no.
    I was about to call you a massif dong for writing that, but a quick Google reveals that Spielbergs badass mofo-saurs were, in fact, a bit wank. :(
  • ecureuil 28 Jun 2008 20:17:58 76,537 posts
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    Nope, still no news on this project, although it was long confirmed that the news in the original post was bullshit.

    I'm watching the original again at the moment (for the millionth time) and it STILL holds up well today (well, apart from some of the dinosaurs being factually wrong as we've recently discovered). I'm still looking forward to IV, the kid in me loves dinosaurs as much as I did when I first saw this film on the big screen. Since the second and third were not well received, maybe the franchise needs a reboot..
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