Random rants that don't warrant their own threads

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  • phAge 22 Jun 2007 18:13:17 24,442 posts
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    Right. I'll start off with...

    ... Customers at the supermarket who, after reaching the end of the cue, having their groceries tallied up, and being asked for XXX amount of money, go "Oooooh - RIGHT - you need MONEY? Lemme just get my purse in my bag... Hmm... I'm sure I put it in here somewhere... Just a sec... Could it be... Nah, thats not it... Funny how you always... Ah yes - here it is. How much was that?"

    YES - YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO *PAY* FOR THE STUFF YOU GET FROM THE STORE YOU STUPID FUCKING GIT/BINT!

    Incidentally, I'm just back from the supermarket, where I - naturally - chose the shortest of the two lines at the checkout, only to realize that my line was filled with the aforementioned retards, whereas the other consisted of rational, intelligent human beings. Needless to say, my line took about 4 times longer to get through. “Gah.
  • NewYork 22 Jun 2007 18:27:43 24,835 posts
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    Dumb people are the worst.
  • NewYork 22 Jun 2007 18:34:36 24,835 posts
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    Come say that to my face.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 22 Jun 2007 18:34:39 39,761 posts
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    A little while ago I was queuing at the local Tesco, and the fella who plays Max in Hollyoaks was stood behind me. I turned around, saw him and said to my other half "Here, isn't that the guy who plays O.B. in Hollyoaks?" Yes, I really got them mixed up.

    And he clearly heard me as he didn't look best pleased.

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  • Razz 22 Jun 2007 18:49:58 61,655 posts
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    My f**king dealer's never on point. :( I buy a qurter I expect to get a quarter, not come home, weigh it up and it's 2 grams off. :/ FFS

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  • Telepathic.Geometry 22 Jun 2007 19:00:18 11,560 posts
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    Razz wrote: My f**king dealer's never on point. :( I buy a qurter I expect to get a quarter, not come home, weigh it up and it's 2 grams off. :/ FFS
    :'( Hate that...

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  • afray 22 Jun 2007 19:03:44 2,251 posts
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    When it comes down to the choice of two lines in the supermarket, the one you didn't chose is always the fastest.

    This is backed up by science.
  • phAge 22 Jun 2007 19:05:06 24,442 posts
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    afray wrote:
    When it comes down to the choice of two lines in the supermarket, the one you didn't chose is always the fastest.

    This is backed up by science.
    Yeah - I read that article-majig too. I didn't quite understand it, but real-life experiences tells me that its true.

    /shakes fist
  • morriss 22 Jun 2007 19:10:46 71,286 posts
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    phAge wrote:
    Right. I'll start off with...

    ... Customers at the supermarket who, after reaching the end of the cue, having their groceries tallied up, and being asked for XXX amount of money, go "Oooooh - RIGHT - you need MONEY? Lemme just get my purse in my bag... Hmm... I'm sure I put it in here somewhere... Just a sec... Could it be... Nah, thats not it... Funny how you always... Ah yes - here it is. How much was that?"

    YES - YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO *PAY* FOR THE STUFF YOU GET FROM THE STORE YOU STUPID FUCKING GIT/BINT!

    Incidentally, I'm just back from the supermarket, where I - naturally - chose the shortest of the two lines at the checkout, only to realize that my line was filled with the aforementioned retards, whereas the other consisted of rational, intelligent human beings. Needless to say, my line took about 4 times longer to get through. “Gah.

    +everything

    I'll never, EVER understand why they do it.
  • Lukus 22 Jun 2007 19:14:38 19,474 posts
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    It happened to me in Tesco the other day, only to add insult to injury the perpetrator went through about 3 different cards before one finally worked. This country!

    Paintings & Photographs

  • afray 22 Jun 2007 19:17:41 2,251 posts
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    phAge wrote:
    afray wrote:
    When it comes down to the choice of two lines in the supermarket, the one you didn't chose is always the fastest.

    This is backed up by science.
    Yeah - I read that article-majig too. I didn't quite understand it, but real-life experiences tells me that its true.

    /shakes fist

    Wait, it really is science? I was just trying to be funny.

    I would assume any perceived notion of constantly picking the wrong line is just confirmation bias.
  • phAge 22 Jun 2007 19:25:18 24,442 posts
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    afray wrote:
    phAge wrote:
    afray wrote:
    When it comes down to the choice of two lines in the supermarket, the one you didn't chose is always the fastest.

    This is backed up by science.
    Yeah - I read that article-majig too. I didn't quite understand it, but real-life experiences tells me that its true.

    /shakes fist

    Wait, it really is science? I was just trying to be funny.

    I would assume any perceived notion of constantly picking the wrong line is just confirmation bias.
    AFAIK, yeah - like I said, I don't remember/understand how it worked, but apparently, there is something to it. Lemme just see if I can find it.
  • phAge 22 Jun 2007 19:29:30 24,442 posts
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    Here we go. Look under the paragraph titled "Supermarkets". Looks like it *is* mostly observational bias - but coupled with some maths.

    /tries to salvage credibility

    Edited by phAge at 19:30:04 22-06-2007
  • Deleted user 22 June 2007 19:30:29
    Pah. What do scientists know?

    I'll tell you what they know.

    Nothin' but Science.

    /shuns
  • NewYork 22 Jun 2007 19:32:10 24,835 posts
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    Cashier A and B both have 2 customers. You join cashier A, making 3.

    Cashier A sees a long queue of customers she must deal with, and so slows down to conserve energy, the fat c***.

    Cashier B sees a short queue of customers she must deal with, and so speeds up to perhaps get a period of rest, in which to stretch her varicose vein ridden legs.

    Thus B finishes her two customers long before A finishes her first two.
  • afray 22 Jun 2007 19:51:45 2,251 posts
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    phAge wrote:
    Here we go. Look under the paragraph titled "Supermarkets". Looks like it *is* mostly observational bias - but coupled with some maths.

    /tries to salvage credibility

    Edited by phAge at 19:30:04 22-06-2007

    Hehe, nice. Looks credible too, so you don't need to worry. :)

    Science can be fun, kids!
  • Darth_Flibble 22 Jun 2007 20:03:57 1,779 posts
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    women who label ALL men as bastards
  • phAge 22 Jun 2007 20:06:13 24,442 posts
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    Darth_Flibble wrote:
    women who label ALL men as bastards
    We are, tho.
  • Hunam 22 Jun 2007 20:06:34 20,674 posts
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    Darth_Flibble wrote:
    women who label ALL men as bastards

    They have good retube video's though.
  • Darth_Flibble 22 Jun 2007 20:49:50 1,779 posts
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    phAge wrote:
    Darth_Flibble wrote:
    women who label ALL men as bastards
    We are, tho.

    I don't think I got the memo


    also advertising sales reps are mostly selfish lazy twats, who don't know what a deadline or CMYK advert is even if I hit them with it
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 23 Jun 2007 09:46:06 39,761 posts
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    Roofers.

    Our roof has leaked since the winter. It's a flat roof so it has been difficult to find someone who will do it. It has taken this long to even get someone to come out and quote us on it - every time we made an appointment they would just plain not turn up, which is annoying since either one of us would have to take time off work each time since the cunts wouldn't even come out before 9 or after 5.

    So we finally get a quote, and the roof was to be done this wednesday just gone. We were both unable to get time off work so my parents agreed to sit in for us. The roofers were due to start at 9am, so my parents got here before then - bear in mind that they live nearly an hours drive away. Bless them, they're great. Guess who didn't turn up? The roofers. Some excuse about thinking we had cancelled (not figured out where that had idea had come from) Never mind, rearranged to do it today instead.

    Guess who just got a text message from the roofers?

    "Sorry, some of the lads didn't turn in, can we do it Monday?"

    NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!

    What's so FUCKING difficult about turning up to do a job? Fuck me, I'd love to be a roofer, sit on my fucking arse all day, and only do some work when I feel I need the money. Raining? Yeah, we'll take the day off. Member of the team not show up? Ah, we'll all take the day off too, no point covering for him.

    Cunts.

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  • afray 26 Jun 2007 13:10:49 2,251 posts
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    When is a panini not a panini?

    When it's packed on a production line and shipped pre-sealed to the cafe, whereupon it sits in a cupboard for three weeks until, for its sins, being cooked in a fucking microwave, then thrust unceremoniously into your hands and exchanged for £4.50 of your hard-earned money.

    Well it's not about a leaking roof but it wound me up. :)
  • NewYork 26 Jun 2007 13:15:07 24,835 posts
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    LOL at the ones which come pre-grill-marked :)
  • afray 26 Jun 2007 13:18:48 2,251 posts
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    It was literally inedible. Soggy bread with liquid boiling plastic cheese in it. For FOUR POUNDS AND FIDDY PENCE. FFS.
  • Razz 26 Jun 2007 13:29:06 61,655 posts
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    Escalators

    How hard is it to STAND on the right and WALK on the left. eh EH?! There are like 20 signs on and around the escalator telling you what to do! BUT NOooooOOOO! You have to stand next your fucking girlfriend like a fucking pussyhole who can't be without the bitch for 5 seconds. And when I mutter an excuse me you give me a incredulous look as if I've envoked a taboo and destroyed your world and it's infact my fault that I had to walk down the escalator. :/ FFS.


    Another one.

    Oyster Cards.

    WAIT FOR THE F**KING PERSON INFRONT OF YOU TO GO THROUGH THE GATES BEFORE TOUCHING OUT/IN.

    Why?

    Because you could accidently touch the other person through leading to you repeatedlry touching the sensor being denied entry/exit greeted with a lovely code 22. And in effect holding everyone up. How many times do you need to travel before you get this. You stupid ***ts. :/

    Oh and before I forget

    WHEN I SAY THERE IS NO MORE F**KING SPACE ON THE CARRIAGE THERE BLOODY WELL TRULY ISN'T!

    And that's final.

    It's not my fault. What do you want from me? To get off the tube and let you on? FFS. I'm 6'6" and on the train, I'm damn well certain I've got a better idea of space distribution than you.

    One more thing. Please please please remove your bloody backpacks before boarding. ;_;

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  • Jeepers 26 Jun 2007 13:36:07 13,315 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    WHEN I SAY THERE IS NO MORE F**KING SPACE ON THE CARRIAGE THERE BLOODY WELL TRULY ISN'T!

    And that's final.

    It's not my fault. What do you want from me? To get off the tube and let you on? FFS. I'm 6'6" and on the train, I'm damn well certain I've got a better idea of space distribution than you.

    I had that on the London - Brighton rush-hour train recently. We stopped at Croydon (bad enough as it is) when some cheap-suited cock started shouting "Move down the carriage - there's no room for me to get on!".

    Well, you're right. There is no fucking room. So wait for the next fucking train you stupid, self-satisfied shite.

    Train journeys are bad enough without knobs like that.

    Grrr...
  • Salaman 26 Jun 2007 13:40:12 19,603 posts
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    To be fair, there's pretty much ALWAYS space a bit further down the carriage. But people rather pack in with 20 in front of the doors than spreading themselves out a bit.

    Move on down you idiots!
  • Psychotext 26 Jun 2007 13:40:50 55,032 posts
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    Eyes tested yesterday.... fucked vision for some reason (has always been perfect).

    So I'm now looking at the world through two very noticeable bits of glass and it's doing my head in. =(

    Edited by Psychotext at 13:41:51 26-06-2007
  • Razz 26 Jun 2007 13:41:09 61,655 posts
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    /heads spins 180 in demon fashion

    /lasers erupt from eyes and burn salaman to embers

    Edited by Razz at 14:00:09 26-06-2007

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  • Darth_Flibble 26 Jun 2007 13:52:16 1,779 posts
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    tossers who have a massive trolley/basket of shopping and go to the 10 items or less tills at lunch time

    don't worry its not like anyone wants to get some lunch while on their lunch break, you selfish twats
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