How can I kill a (very ill) dog?

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  • God 27 Apr 2007 13:21:24 88 posts
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    Excuse the sock, but the owners of the dog know my alias and a quick google search might show up the thread otherwise.

    Right, to cut a long story short- I need to kill a dog and make it look normal, it's the spawn of satan. It's blind, can't walk properly, poo's and wee's everywhere and has that "please kill me" expression about it like it just wants to die. Unfortunately the owners treat it like a baby, they carry it around with them everywhere, stay up all night cleaning up after it and so forth. Even the vet's have said it should be put down but they won't do it to their 'baby', they even hand feed it :p it's pretty pathetic.

    They are now having to stay with us and have brought the two dogs over (the other dog is fine). We've just totally re-done the house, new sofa, new carpet, the works (we have a baby who's crawling about you see) and so need to get rid of the dog asap before he ruins our house like he has theirs. We can't kick them out because they have nowhere else to go, and they refuse to send the 'poor baby' to the pound or a shelter (they've said the dog is more important than our baby, seriously, they said that!)

    So any suggestions? As the dog is seriously ill already I doubt they'd question it. But at the same time, they are spending every free and all their money trying to keep the damn thing alive for as long as possible, knowing our luck it'll be around for ages!

    Imagine if a Zombie bit a dog, then cover that dog with shit and you have a good mental picture of what this dog is like. Remember that jpg of the worlds ugliest dog? That's this dogs more attractive brother. This dog has not only lost its fur, but it's skin is turning black and is about 50% scabbed up the poor thing.

    Tried strangling the thing but it just wet itself.
  • captbirdseye 27 Apr 2007 13:22:16 5,467 posts
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    Locked in..... 5
  • Huntcjna 27 Apr 2007 13:23:14 13,877 posts
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    Poison, always poison.

    But only if its really as bad as you claim it to be health wise.
  • God 27 Apr 2007 13:23:16 88 posts
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    captbirdseye wrote:
    Locked in..... 5

    Come on, it's a serious question. It's suffering and we can't convince them to put it down.
  • glaeken 27 Apr 2007 13:24:02 11,266 posts
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    Maybe you could use your mysterious ways?
  • terminalterror 27 Apr 2007 13:24:33 18,937 posts
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    Shoot it, then blame it on a drive by.
  • God 27 Apr 2007 13:24:52 88 posts
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    glaeken wrote:
    Maybe you could use your mysterious ways?

    I hate to break it to you, but I'm not the real god! If I was I'd just shoot some lighting at the thing and be done with it.
  • pjmaybe 27 Apr 2007 13:24:55 70,676 posts
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    If you could get hold of a hypodermic, a massive injection of a garden weedkiller would probably do the trick.

    Peej
  • captbirdseye 27 Apr 2007 13:25:11 5,467 posts
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    God wrote:
    captbirdseye wrote:
    Locked in..... 5

    Come on, it's a serious question. It's suffering and we can't convince them to put it down.

    One it isn't your dog to kill whether its at your house or not, and two its just fucking wrong buddy.
  • Deleted user 27 April 2007 13:25:13
    Anonymously call the RSPCA on it?
  • brokenkey 27 Apr 2007 13:25:20 7,155 posts
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    50g of decent dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids) or a small dog, 150g for a large dog.


    Edited by brokenkey at 13:30:28 27-04-2007

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  • glaeken 27 Apr 2007 13:25:36 11,266 posts
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    I don't think Bono would kill a dog. I think the Edge would though so ask him.
  • silentbob 27 Apr 2007 13:25:53 29,026 posts
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    Tell 'em to put it in a fucking kennel you muppet!

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  • Spanky 27 Apr 2007 13:26:05 14,610 posts
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    Take it to the vet and get it put down it's obviously suffering. Don't listen to these other cunts with there torture, they've all got cock-cancer. And kick those cunts in your house out!

    Plubs

  • dirigiblebill 27 Apr 2007 13:26:33 1,634 posts
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    I predict this thread will go on to be a Big Question fest of 'goddamn creationist' proportions.

    Personally I wouldn't kill it. It isn't your responsibility, for starters.

    EDIT- just reread your post and spotted the bit about your baby. I'd tell them that while they are guests in your house your baby takes precedence.

    Still wouldn't kill it though.

    Edited by dirigiblebill at 13:30:49 27-04-2007
  • JetSetWilly 27 Apr 2007 13:27:04 5,721 posts
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    God wrote:
    glaeken wrote:
    Maybe you could use your mysterious ways?

    I hate to break it to you, but I'm not the real god! If I was I'd just shoot some lighting at the thing and be done with it.

    You'd never get the smell of charred flesh out your carpets and curtains.
  • PodlingJuice 27 Apr 2007 13:27:06 262 posts
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    Dear Lord,

    I think that this is a very unreasonable test to perform on my fellow gamers.

    Please don't send them all to hell. They're very nice really.

    Feel free to ignore my comments. You are God after all.
  • UncleLou Moderator 27 Apr 2007 13:27:18 35,853 posts
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    You are ......., and I claim my whatever. ;)

    Frankly, I have no idea. I don't even know if it's a good idea in the first place. But if they really said the dog is more important than the baby, I'd kick them out. Or allow the dog only in one room, at least.
  • Deleted user 27 April 2007 13:27:39
    God wrote:
    (they've said the dog is more important than our baby, seriously, they said that!)
    Tell them to fuck off then. Personally if I had a baby around the house I sure as hell wouldn't let 2 stranger dogs live in the same place.
  • ming 27 Apr 2007 13:27:43 275 posts
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    ecosse_011172 wrote:
    God wrote:
    Excuse the sock, but the owners of the dog know my alias and a quick google search might show up the thread otherwise.

    Right, to cut a long story short- I need to kill a dog and make it look normal, it's the spawn of satan. It's blind, can't walk properly, poo's and wee's everywhere and has that "please kill me" expression about it like it just wants to die. Unfortunately the owners treat it like a baby, they carry it around with them everywhere, stay up all night cleaning up after it and so forth. Even the vet's have said it should be put down but they won't do it to their 'baby', they even hand feed it :p it's pretty pathetic.

    They are now having to stay with us and have brought the two dogs over (the other dog is fine). We've just totally re-done the house, new sofa, new carpet, the works (we have a baby who's crawling about you see) and so need to get rid of the dog asap before he ruins our house like he has theirs. We can't kick them out because they have nowhere else to go, and they refuse to send the 'poor baby' to the pound or a shelter (they've said the dog is more important than our baby, seriously, they said that!)

    So any suggestions? As the dog is seriously ill already I doubt they'd question it. But at the same time, they are spending every free and all their money trying to keep the damn thing alive for as long as possible, knowing our luck it'll be around for ages!

    Imagine if a Zombie bit a dog, then cover that dog with shit and you have a good mental picture of what this dog is like. Remember that jpg of the worlds ugliest dog? That's this dogs more attractive brother. This dog has not only lost its fur, but it's skin is turning black and is about 50% scabbed up the poor thing.

    Tried strangling the thing but it just wet itself.

    Kick them out, it's their problem where they go next.

    +1

    Your baby is more important than theirs.

  • God 27 Apr 2007 13:28:03 88 posts
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    dirigiblebill wrote:
    I predict this thread will go on to be a Big Question fest of 'goddamn creationist' proportions.

    Personally I wouldn't kill it. It isn't your responsibility, for starters.

    That's the thing, I'd love to wash my hands of it. But when I see my son trying to climb onto our brand new sofa, then seeing a fucking great dog skid-mark on the sofa. I get pretty angry :p
  • Khanivor 27 Apr 2007 13:28:09 41,262 posts
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    Can't help with a practical solution but I hope you find a quick and decisive way of despatching that wretched beast. Poor creature :(
  • God 27 Apr 2007 13:29:47 88 posts
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    Mapster wrote:
    Photo?

    a bit like this, but worse
  • brokenkey 27 Apr 2007 13:30:04 7,155 posts
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    http://www.howstuffworks.com/question348.htm

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