Depression Page 216

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  • GuybrushThreepwood 8 Sep 2017 11:00:47 1,020 posts
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    Obviously you're aware that drinking green tea is not going to actually calm anything as its got caffeine in it. If you want to drink anything then camomile or valerian based drinks "may" help, but caffeinated drinks won't.

    I would say that ensuring you're sufficiently hydrated is important to mood as I've read a lot about the affect even moderate dehydration has on brain and hence mood.
  • challenge_hanukkah 8 Sep 2017 11:07:40 5,055 posts
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    foster2007 wrote:
    For those who suffer with anxiety, depression, i'd advise you try drinking matcha green tea, it has this lovely calming effect that I have yet to find with any food/drink product. Get yourself a matcha making kit off amazon and for the tea itself, I tend to use superchimps matcha.

    Mighty Matcha is also quite decent, I believe its organic too, superchimps offering not being organic.

    Edited by foster2007 at 09:40:10 08-09-2017
    Sounds awfully a lot like a sales pitch.
  • challenge_hanukkah 10 Sep 2017 07:55:32 5,055 posts
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    Are you that kick boxer that's a fan of prison planet?
  • elstoof 10 Sep 2017 07:57:19 18,493 posts
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    The toxically masculine man himself
  • mrharvest 22 Sep 2017 18:46:03 5,430 posts
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    This thing is really kicking my butt. I feel like my medicine is less effective than it used to be, yet the side effects are getting worse.
  • azurelas_2 12 Oct 2017 19:58:32 1,756 posts
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    I don't even know how to start.


    I was a depressed teenager until well into my 20s (I'm 29 now). I think I'm over it, but of course some days are better than others.

    Now, my mother was killed last week Wednesday, and just 2 days before her birthday. Every day since then has been so painful. I seem to have a good girlfriend, and a very supportive family around me, but the same feelings I had are back in force.

    I'm not looking for advice, I just need to vent. And let it out. Please don't be dicks about it.

    Edited by azurelas_2 at 19:58:42 12-10-2017
  • Dougs 12 Oct 2017 20:06:11 83,515 posts
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    Sorry for your loss. :(

    Don't be afraid to ask for help, especially if you have a history of depression and take time to grieve.
  • Skirlasvoud 13 Oct 2017 00:53:56 2,799 posts
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    This thread is usually pretty good about being dick-free.

    Especially when murder is involved. Jezus! I'm so sorry to hear that.
  • mrharvest 13 Oct 2017 06:07:34 5,430 posts
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    I'm really sorry for your loss, azurelas. I wish you strength and clarity in the next months.
  • GuybrushThreepwood 15 Oct 2017 18:58:22 1,020 posts
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    Not sure if there's a stress thread, but i feel like I'm close to cracking up and need to write something somewhere.

    I've had a very very busy 6 months in my new job and have had more and more work piled on me. Last three weeks two things I've been managing have gone wrong. If I'd had more time then maybe I'd have spotted the issues, but i'm managing over a dozen different things and can barely keep up. I've said in numerous occasions that I'm dying too much and something will slip. Last week was hell. Something went wrong that has seen me on the phone to multiple directors multiple times a day and working 11 hour days with no break at all. I've not been sleeping.

    This weekend I've tried to get some rest and to recuperate, but I've ended up worse, with nightmares each time i close my eyes. Just tried eating a meal with my family and was almost in tears and was unable to eat. My wife said we're pulling out of the house that we're buying as the pressure of my work is too much and i feel even worse now.

    Anyone have any idea how i can deal with this stress and get back to normal? I'm feel like I'm seriously cracking up and I'm currently trembling. Work know I'm doing too much and started helping finally last week, but we've too few people. Going to hr and saying I'm struggling is never going to go well even in this so called enlightened age, especially not when I'm new.
  • Addy_B 15 Oct 2017 19:05:59 1,135 posts
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    @GuybrushThreepwood

    I feel the same at the moment but mines all family related and my wife is sending me to the docs next week as I started with anxiety a while ago now that's just getting worse. In the past I got put on beta blockers which helped. Pm me if you like mate.
  • quadfather 15 Oct 2017 19:16:05 28,899 posts
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    @GuybrushThreepwood

    Is it just the work that's making you feel like this or do you have similar difficulty with other things in your life?

    I have a percentage capacity thing that may or may not be of help. When I have things that I class as problems and need sorting out, they take a certain percentage of my brain power as it were. It can be fine to have things that are up to around 60/70% as everyone has shit in their life.

    But I find that if it goes above 90% then things start to fall off. And it doesn't matter what it is - it doesn't matter how small a thing it is, if it tips the pot, then that's that.

    When it happens, I get upright, short of breath, think the worst - you know the drill.

    The way I deal with it is to look at each thing in turn and try and deal with them one at a time.

    Gut instinct is a massively important thing with this method, as you have to make changes and see how you feel about them.

    However, looking back at your post, it seems it's mainly focused around your current job situation - is that right?

    If you imagined yourself in a job where you didn't really fuss about it and just went there and left again, does that feel like it would help?
  • drhcnip 15 Oct 2017 19:18:56 5,321 posts
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    @GuybrushThreepwood

    sounds all too familiar...felt very similar just before i had my breakdown a few years back, a combination or work-related stress, exhaustion and child's illness...one of the final markers for me was standing there in morrisons sobbing over which tins of soup to buy...a few days later i was off for 4-5 months...

    my advice, pal, would be to take it in hand now - whether that's going through things with hr or getting in touch with the docs...that's going to be the best way of dealing with it all...yes, there's all the self-help malarky but you need guidance at the beginning...

    the other option is private counselling but that ain't going to come cheap - but can often be arranged through work...wife's a counsellor and she's had a few clients in that position...
  • GuybrushThreepwood 15 Oct 2017 19:41:49 1,020 posts
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    Thanks all, it's kind of you.

    Can't take beta blockers as I'm asthmatic and apparently that's a no.

    I used to do the visualisation thing Quaddy and that used to help. I'm struggling to think at the moment as my mind is just fixated on work and resolving the problem and tomorrow morning. It's just work related (though just sold my house and buying another one and not long ago finally resolved a long running legal dispute).

    I had a breakdown myself last year. Took a similar amount of time to get back on track and feels similar now. I just can't afford four or five months off. I've looked at counselling, but as you say it's expensive and of varying quality. I'll probably have to go to the docs, but they have tended to give me anti depressants which I don't really get on with as the side effects are worse for me than any benefits which have been negligible.

    Think i need to exercise (i stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine some time ago to help myself with stress and depression) and i think i need to learn to say no. I'm actually very good at my job, but since the breakdown I've always had a fear of it repeating itself... Which it's starting to. I seriously cannot take months off again.

    Thankfully, even with buying the house, I've a few thousand remaining so i could afford a break, but it wouldn't look good on my cv. Maybe Monday will be easiest in reality than it is in my mind.

    Fuck knows. I have to keep it together for my family. But i think Dr's is required and some time off work (leave). Just need to get this latest shit out the way and keep it together until then.

    Thanks. It's helped. Also just tried mindfulness (over the sound of my neighbor's shit music) and that and your responses have helped. I've eaten hardly anything this weekend and that and lack of water won't have helped anything.

    I'm well aware I'm not out of the woods yet and that I'm teetering on the brink. Hopefully posting here has made that clearer to myself.
  • drhcnip 15 Oct 2017 19:49:03 5,321 posts
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    im a massive advocate of mindfulness, one of things ive kept in my toolkit over the years...the problem is ,as you'll know too well, you get to a point sometimes where you've spiralled inwards and any other little thing tightens the spiral even more even if, by itself, it's relatively insignificant...sometimes all you need is to talk these things through...i guess that's why talking therapies help so much...

    the other suggestion i could make, which has helped me massively recently is safe space visualisation/relaxation therapy....but then i've got my own counsellor on tap for that...;)..however, there may be something worth googling or apps out there

    she's just pinged out and reminded me - simple strategies like square breathing and colour breathing can help...as you;ve got past experience, you may just need to clear your head and put things into perspective, which these sorts of things can do...i can understand your hesistance aboout the dr/meds step completely...
  • GuybrushThreepwood 15 Oct 2017 20:40:23 1,020 posts
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    Thanks. I've not heard of square or colour breathing or even safe space visualisation. I'll have to Google them.

    I've been using the Smiling Mind app daily for Mindfulness and I'm doing a course on Mindfulness with Future Learn for the 7th time. I think its a godsend. I'm also reading a few books on the subject that have been recommended, but I'm not doing to great on getting too far with them. Always finding excuses or another game to play rather than face the truth.

    Meds (which work for some people, so I don't want to open that debate) have crippled me in the past. Some have made me violent, others have given me severe panic attacks, others have made me very tired and forgetful, others have made me a zombie (the ones the made me impotent went down well). I've just not had any benefits from them. I'd love the answer to be in a pill, but for me its not in any I've tried yet.

    I have avoided exercise since I tore my knee badly a couple of years ago, but now I'm just avoiding rather than being sensible. PLus I'm getting a dad bod and that's not a good look. Really need to get into that.

    Right. I've turned on my work computer and dealt with the issue that has been niggling me all weekend. Why didn't I just do it? I never learn I used to do my homework last minute listening to the Top 40 with Ann Nightingale. I'm my own worst enemy.

    Told my wife that we are buying the house. I need something to a im for myself. Otherwise whats the point of working so damned hard?

    Thanks again all. This has helped a great deal. Just getting it out. I don't like going "woe is me" on the Internet, but in this digital age and not drinking, "real" friends are scarce
  • drhcnip 15 Oct 2017 20:52:27 5,321 posts
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    i think the faceless nature of forum members helps in this sort of situation as it removes that potential 'you think i'm weak' moment...

    i've had a lot of help on here - both in this thread and in the cancer one...there's a lot of support in here...

    had to chortle at your line about the work pc, though - procrastination is still one of my worst enemies...:D

    square breathing: sqaure breathing (i always do it with visualisation, in a mindfulness way, but it's not essential)

    colour breathing: colour breathing

    safe space visualisation:
    safe place

    i've done safe place as a guided meditation from the mrs but, again, it's not essential

    if any others come to mind, i'll post them - all the best with it

    Edited by drhcnip at 20:52:42 15-10-2017
  • Addy_B 15 Oct 2017 21:01:52 1,135 posts
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    It's strange how it can manifest. I was in tears earlier with the thought of going to a social event. I'm starting to develop a strange fear of socialising which is basically not in my character at all. I've started ignoring folk at work just so I don't think that they will think Ive changed (I know this makes no sense) I'm basically wanting to just remain in my own bubble and the thought of pushing myself outside it is quite fearful which again is baffling and worrying to me.

    My wife thinks it's totally understandable due to what we're both going through (2 young girls with Autism) but she has outlets to talk about it and I dont, so I've kind of let it manifest and build up and now it's starting to make me close myself off.

    I'll go the docs next week and see what he says. I may need some meds and/or a couple of weeks off work or whatever.
  • quadfather 15 Oct 2017 21:18:49 28,899 posts
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    @Addy_B

    That post struck a nerve.

    That's how I am a lot of the time but I know what's causing it (grief bereavement and shock).

    I do the bubble thing all the time. I enjoy my bubble time but I'm also very aware that I have things I need to process and go through.

    The thing that's baffling you is clear as a bell to me. It's your minds way of having to shut stuff down because you don't want to deal with it.

    I mentioned earlier about this capacity thing I have - it doesn't matter whether you can't open a can of fucking beans or whether you can't do something extremely important - if it tips, it tips.

    Dissociation for me, not sure about you?
  • Addy_B 15 Oct 2017 21:40:13 1,135 posts
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    @quadfather

    My head's just a mess at present. I'm not sure what I'm thinking anymore. I've just gone into Autopilot but spend most mornings en route to work trying to not tear up. It's taking big effort to try and mask it at work. I basically just feel like telling a whole bunch of people to fuck off.

    Maybe I just need a timeout. My work used to be my timeout but that's become stressful. My home situation will never go away. Things will get better I know that. It's just I've let things get on top of me because I think that at my age I should man up and shouldn't have these issues.

    I'm rambling now lol.
  • quadfather 15 Oct 2017 22:12:10 28,899 posts
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    @Addy_B

    Sounds like it's one of those times when the waves are riding high. Difficult to stand against them and impossible to do so forever. Easy to say, but riding it out is helpful and it means that the wave will have gone again for a while.

    Still, getting it out on a forum may help
  • quadfather 15 Oct 2017 22:13:28 28,899 posts
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    @Addy_B

    If it helps I've just found a really good pair of daggers in dragons dogma I can use.

    Little things :)
  • Addy_B 15 Oct 2017 22:32:15 1,135 posts
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    @quadfather

    Yeah I need to get on a game. Just had a few down days so not felt like anything really.
  • Addy_B 19 Oct 2017 10:55:24 1,135 posts
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    Went to the docs earlier and have been prescribed some propranolol for my anxiety and some antidepressants (Sertraline) and I've been signed off for a month.

    Onwards and upwards I hope.
  • quadfather 19 Oct 2017 11:02:00 28,899 posts
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    @Addy_B

    Hope it works out ok man
  • Addy_B 19 Oct 2017 11:04:23 1,135 posts
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    @quadfather

    I'm glad I went and feel both equally better and a bit useless at the moment. I feel defeated in the fact I'm needing medication to help.
  • quadfather 19 Oct 2017 11:29:11 28,899 posts
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    @Addy_B

    Nothing wrong with that.

    I was talking to my sister who is a now a certified counseller a while back about antidepressants, as I said similar to what you said. She replied with, "So what, I was on anti-depressants for years"
  • askew 19 Oct 2017 11:29:53 15,431 posts
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    Ah, don't be thinking that. It's no sign of weakness.
  • itsamemarcus 19 Oct 2017 11:37:15 20 posts
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    @Addy_B I'm also on propranolol for my anxiety/essential tremor and antidepressants (citalopram) for my depression.

    I also felt weak at first for having to turn to medication, but my doctor explained it to me like this - if you were a diabetic and you didn't take your insulin, for example, then your doctor would have something to say about it.

    She said to me it's the same with anxiety/depression, although I guess the difference is that hopefully you'll be able to recover fully from anxiety/depression whereas diabetes is for life. She was the first one to describe it as a chemical imbalance in the brain rather than something you can overcome with sheer willpower, so please don't feel weak.

    If you ever need to talk I am only ever a PM away.

    Edited by itsamemarcus at 11:41:00 19-10-2017

    Edited by itsamemarcus at 11:42:59 19-10-2017
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