Depression Page 113

  • Page

    of 141 First / Last

  • MadCaddy13 16 Feb 2013 23:13:47 1,893 posts
    Seen 36 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    What a waste of a toaster
  • Deleted user 16 February 2013 23:14:53
    RichieTenenbaum wrote:
    Quick question:

    To be honest I've always been a bit depressive. And it's always been accomplied by a dull, hollow feeling in my stomach. Does anyone else get this ? I ask as it's gotten really loud(if that makes sense) recently. To the point where I have not been able to sleep. All I can feel is this burning or hollowness in my stomach.

    I think it might be a hope thing. You can cope with shit if you can see it getting better, but if you can't see it getting better, you're done for. I thought I had a friend who I could talk to, too but she just seemed totally overwhelmed by me and stopped replying to me. I don't blame her. She has her own shit to deal with. Stuff she thinks is probably much worse. But it's not great when you reach out and they don't reach back.

    Also: I can't remember the last day that went by without me thinking about killing myself. The ritual has built up in my head like a movie. The driving at night. The sound of opening the car door. The spam of it shut. The walk down to the bridge walkway. Removing my shoes and socks. Climbing the low barrier gently, holding into the frame for stability. Curling y toes around the metal top of the barrier. Feeling the cold on the soles of my feet. Holding my arms out wide. And then dropping.

    It's got to the point where I close my eyes and I see my form, as if like an outer body thing, tumbling into the sea. The lights of the shore cutting through the mist. I could paint a picture it's that clear. I think it might be inevitable. But you can't really tell people this. You can't say how you feel without being a self obsessed cunt.

    To be honest, and I KNOW this isn't the place for this, I'm not sure when it will happen. I set a date, but at this rate I'm not even sure if ill reach that.

    I'm not sure what the point of this message was.
    This reads like a Linkin Park song and is so perfectly fucking emo it is hard to believe it is anything more than attention seeking. But sorry if you really are going through some shit.
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:19:04 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    Again. Don't want help. And quite frankly see nothing wrong with removing myself.

    I would say it's been two years that I've had pysical symptoms. That's too long. And things won't get better. Things won't improve. They haven't so far.

    I am 27. Always broke. Always spend more than I earn. Have never had a girlfriend. Talk too much. Say too little. To be honest, I could die in my flat and I don't think I would be discovered for weeks if not months. My family are miles away and I don't really talk to them. No one visists me. People would expct me to go quiet and hermity and not reply to texts.

    But I'm not going to die in my flat. So that's ok, I suppose.

    I don't think I want help. I want this feeling to go away. But I'm aware of the risks of being emotionally reckless and making decisions when you're upset. So six months ago I set myself a date instead of ending it then. It's six months from now. I thought I'd forget about it. I've thought about it every day since. It's clearer every day that it's the right move. I just hope when it comes I fall and accept it. My biggest worry is regretting it just as I hit the water.

    I might make it to the date. I probably won't.

    But yeah. Again. Nothing I'm saying is helpful. The question was originally about physical symptoms I suppose. Does anyone else get these?
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:22:26 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    mowgli wrote:
    RichieTenenbaum wrote:
    Quick question:

    To be honest I've always been a bit depressive. And it's always been accomplied by a dull, hollow feeling in my stomach. Does anyone else get this ? I ask as it's gotten really loud(if that makes sense) recently. To the point where I have not been able to sleep. All I can feel is this burning or hollowness in my stomach.

    I think it might be a hope thing. You can cope with shit if you can see it getting better, but if you can't see it getting better, you're done for. I thought I had a friend who I could talk to, too but she just seemed totally overwhelmed by me and stopped replying to me. I don't blame her. She has her own shit to deal with. Stuff she thinks is probably much worse. But it's not great when you reach out and they don't reach back.

    Also: I can't remember the last day that went by without me thinking about killing myself. The ritual has built up in my head like a movie. The driving at night. The sound of opening the car door. The spam of it shut. The walk down to the bridge walkway. Removing my shoes and socks. Climbing the low barrier gently, holding into the frame for stability. Curling y toes around the metal top of the barrier. Feeling the cold on the soles of my feet. Holding my arms out wide. And then dropping.

    It's got to the point where I close my eyes and I see my form, as if like an outer body thing, tumbling into the sea. The lights of the shore cutting through the mist. I could paint a picture it's that clear. I think it might be inevitable. But you can't really tell people this. You can't say how you feel without being a self obsessed cunt.

    To be honest, and I KNOW this isn't the place for this, I'm not sure when it will happen. I set a date, but at this rate I'm not even sure if ill reach that.

    I'm not sure what the point of this message was.
    This reads like a Linkin Park song and is so perfectly fucking emo it is hard to believe it is anything more than attention seeking. But sorry if you really are going through some shit.
    Not Linkin Park?!?! Oh god. I hate Linkin Park. Jesus. What have I done?!!

    Mowgli, I love you. You always know exactly what NOT to say :D. Can you do my eulogy? 'he was a bit of an emo tbh. Linkin Park esqe' /walks away with arms up to Jay Z. :D
  • Deleted user 16 February 2013 23:23:07
    So what exactly is wrong? Apart from spending too much money due to fucking stupid notions of the value of items (a .txt file won't make you cry of course). I'm sorry for not sounding empathetic but I've seen a lot of depression in my life and this stinks of the 'people don't value me like they should' kind.
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:24:25 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    PEOPLE DON'T VALUE ME AS THEY SHOULD.
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:26:09 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    I SHOULD BE RICH. I SHOULD HAVE IT ALL. LIKE KAYNE WEST. I SHOULD BE COVERED IN GLORY. FOR I AM RIIIIIICHIIIIEEEEEEE.

    I am not really depressed for a reason, Mowgli. I don't really know why it's so bad. Most of the problems aren't too terrible.
  • riceNpea 16 Feb 2013 23:27:31 592 posts
    Seen 4 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    does it stem from lonliness?
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:28:38 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    Possibly. I just need some kind of crowd. Or a good friend. Or some minions.
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:29:18 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    Also. I'm posting on a gaming forum about killing myself. OF COURSE I'm lonely :p
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:30:25 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    It's got too dark in here. Time for a joke.

    Horse walks into a bar

    Batman says 'why the long face?'

    Horse says 'MY WIFE JUST DIED YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK'
  • MadCaddy13 16 Feb 2013 23:30:52 1,893 posts
    Seen 36 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    Get out of that flat and go back to your rents if you can. I couldn't imagine living on my own. I definitely! wouldn't last

    Edited by MadCaddy13 at 23:31:20 16-02-2013
  • Mola_Ram 16 Feb 2013 23:33:12 7,251 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 2 years ago
    Why was Batman in the bar?
  • Deleted user 16 February 2013 23:37:38
    RichieTenenbaum wrote:
    I SHOULD BE RICH. I SHOULD HAVE IT ALL. LIKE KAYNE WEST. I SHOULD BE COVERED IN GLORY. FOR I AM RIIIIIICHIIIIEEEEEEE.

    I am not really depressed for a reason, Mowgli. I don't really know why it's so bad. Most of the problems aren't too terrible.
    If you know this - that you don't know why it is so bad - then see a doctor. As otherwise it just sounds like coming up with reasons to feel special/emo. Convincing yourself that your minor problems are actually deeper and more emotional than they actually are so you can convince yourself that you are more in tune with your suicidal thoughts - thoughts which are very normal. You are not special. None of us are. You are not Poe, you are not Cobain et al. And talking like this doesn't put you in the same club with them. Nor does it make your meaningless little life a homage to living with too much emotion, too much perception. Stop being a knob and go have a wank.
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:38:10 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    OH SHIT I MESSED THE JOKE UP COS OF AUTOCORRECT.
  • riceNpea 16 Feb 2013 23:38:15 592 posts
    Seen 4 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    @Mola_Ram

    a talking horse and you wonder about Batman? :-P
  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:42:56 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    Mowgli you advise is utter, utter turd

    1. Me and Cobain would be in a club. The Club 27.

    2. Wanking never made anyone feel any better. Difference between men and women, that. Women wank as a mechanical thing. It's fine. When men wank its followed by shame and regret and guilt. No one ever had a man wank and said afterwords 'well I feel totally fine and dandy now. Off to face the world!'

    3. You're definition of emo is well fucking stupid. It seems to be 'people who have emotions'.

    4. I think telling someone who has decided to commit suicide that their life is meaningless is the worst idea ever (if you want them to live).
  • joeymoto108 16 Feb 2013 23:43:34 641 posts
    Seen 13 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    mowgli wrote:
    RichieTenenbaum wrote:
    I SHOULD BE RICH. I SHOULD HAVE IT ALL. LIKE KAYNE WEST. I SHOULD BE COVERED IN GLORY. FOR I AM RIIIIIICHIIIIEEEEEEE.

    I am not really depressed for a reason, Mowgli. I don't really know why it's so bad. Most of the problems aren't too terrible.
    If you know this - that you don't know why it is so bad - then see a doctor. As otherwise it just sounds like coming up with reasons to feel special/emo. Convincing yourself that your minor problems are actually deeper and more emotional than they actually are so you can convince yourself that you are more in tune with your suicidal thoughts - thoughts which are very normal. You are not special. None of us are. You are not Poe, you are not Cobain et al. And talking like this doesn't put you in the same club with them. Nor does it make your meaningless little life a homage to living with too much emotion, too much perception. Stop being a knob and go have a wank.
    This. Enough with the poetic bullshit, if you seriously believe what you're saying you should go see a doctor. Smarten yourself up, get yourself an online dating account or something (you said you'd never had a girlfriend) and force yourself in situations where you're not lonely (like going on dates). Oh, and cut down on the spending.

    'Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?'

  • Mola_Ram 16 Feb 2013 23:45:00 7,251 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 2 years ago
    riceNpea wrote:
    @Mola_Ram

    a talking horse and you wonder about Batman? :-P
    I think the horse would have wondered too
  • boo 16 Feb 2013 23:48:09 11,757 posts
    Seen 18 minutes ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Richie,

    I remember reading your NaNoWriMo. Anybody who writes that well has no business offing themselves. It just means Dan Brown has one fewer in the way of competition.

    Go and write 500 words.
    Right now.

    You must include:

    A cat
    A refrigerated truck
    A letter that didn't get delivered
    A meteor shower


    I want the results posted here no later than 1am GMT.

    Crack on!

    Just Another Lego Blog

  • RichieTenenbaum 16 Feb 2013 23:49:16 2,199 posts
    Seen 55 minutes ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    joeymoto108 wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    RichieTenenbaum wrote:
    I SHOULD BE RICH. I SHOULD HAVE IT ALL. LIKE KAYNE WEST. I SHOULD BE COVERED IN GLORY. FOR I AM RIIIIIICHIIIIEEEEEEE.

    I am not really depressed for a reason, Mowgli. I don't really know why it's so bad. Most of the problems aren't too terrible.
    If you know this - that you don't know why it is so bad - then see a doctor. As otherwise it just sounds like coming up with reasons to feel special/emo. Convincing yourself that your minor problems are actually deeper and more emotional than they actually are so you can convince yourself that you are more in tune with your suicidal thoughts - thoughts which are very normal. You are not special. None of us are. You are not Poe, you are not Cobain et al. And talking like this doesn't put you in the same club with them. Nor does it make your meaningless little life a homage to living with too much emotion, too much perception. Stop being a knob and go have a wank.
    This. Enough with the poetic bullshit, if you seriously believe what you're saying you should go see a doctor. Smarten yourself up, get yourself an online dating account or something (you said you'd never had a girlfriend) and force yourself in situations where you're not lonely (like going on dates). Oh, and cut down on the spending.
    It's nice to be called poetic but you are a cunt of a human being.
  • MadCaddy13 16 Feb 2013 23:51:30 1,893 posts
    Seen 36 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    I reckon the horses wife shouldn't of stopped off at Burger King then that joke would never of happened
  • joeymoto108 16 Feb 2013 23:56:03 641 posts
    Seen 13 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    You're hardly doing yourself any favours here. All I'm saying is if your emotions/feelings are actually true as described before, then you should really see a professional doctor rather than getting advice on a gaming forum of all places.

    'Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?'

  • MrTomFTW Moderator 17 Feb 2013 00:00:53 37,886 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    A crab walks into a bar and the barman says "Get out, you're barred!"
    The crab says "What the fuck? What for?"
    "Because you're in here every night givin' all of that..."

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Lexx87 17 Feb 2013 00:03:44 20,869 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    Mowgli you utter fucking cunt

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • riceNpea 17 Feb 2013 00:04:55 592 posts
    Seen 4 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Richie i re-iterate that a gaming website is inevitably going to disappoint you if what you are looking for is understanding for your justification. i know you said you're thick skinned an' all but seeing as you're here though why not comment on other threads too.

    read my hilarious ripostes to peoples errant opinion as i sarcastically and eloquently blaze a whimsical trail across this apocryphal-God forsaken website
  • MadCaddy13 17 Feb 2013 00:06:52 1,893 posts
    Seen 36 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    MrTomFTW wrote:
    A crab walks into a bar and the barman says "Get out, you're barred!"
    The crab says "What the fuck? What for?"
    "Because you're in here every night givin' all of that..."
    That's weird, the same thing happened to the lobster. crustationist barmen!
  • Mola_Ram 17 Feb 2013 00:08:53 7,251 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 2 years ago
    Horse walks into a bar.

    Batman says "Why the long face?"

    Horse says "Well, I have cancer... wait, are you Batman?"

    Batman says "Yep. Was just in here thinking about my dead mum again. Sucks about the cancer son. Keep in there, and get right back in the saddle."

    Horse says "Oh do fuck off. The Riddler is so much better at puns than you."
  • pinebear 17 Feb 2013 00:10:14 8,565 posts
    Seen 9 months ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    I think I might have put myself on ignore.

  • Page

    of 141 First / Last

Log in or register to reply