Depression Page 107

  • Page

    of 142 First / Last

  • Rens11 20 Jan 2013 05:38:44 1,385 posts
    Seen 8 hours ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    I can feel myself getting worse, start my next work placement in a couple weeks and have essays mounting up. Sleeps bad going to bed gone 4am most nights and waking up late around 11-12 although I could easily sleep till 4pm if my girlfriend didn't force me to get up. Tried staying awake for 48 hours to see if that would help with the insomnia and help get into a routine but still struggle to sleep. Hard to keep thinking positive when you feel like shite

    Edited by Rens11 at 05:39:21 20-01-2013

    Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, hed eat you and everyone you care about!

  • Deleted user 20 January 2013 06:48:09
    ZuluHero wrote:
    Yeah I agree, I think that its bandied around too easily as excuse like you said and that makes people more cynical when people say they are depressed, and by proxy that it makes it difficult for people who are truly suffering to get help.

    I guess I'm just trying to understand it really. I have days when I'm down, and I can't be bothered to do anything or I have a bit of a cry about something, then I come out of it. It might go on for days, but I've always shaken it off.

    i think this is a good post.

    I think at the moment that bottom paragraph probably describes me best. The term depression is a difficult to use. It probably loosely used too much to describe being down, but at the same time, being down can be quite hard for some people if that makes sense. Read on and i try and explain it. Peoples lows -And mine. can get low, and the occurence of these lows for me, are happening more frequently and for longer periods of time.

    Theres probably a lot of people that come in this thread, who are say in the halfway house. They don't want to say they have depression because a) they don't understand it, b) not sure if they have it c)sort of getting a negative backlash from some people.

    Its a frustrating place to be in, i guess you can easily snap out of it, but at the same time, i think some people are vulnerable to develop negative habits, and a line of thinking, which i guess leads on to full on depression. I go through some serious lows, so i can see how it is difficult for people to not be sure what is going on if that makes sense.

    Which in leads to your top paragraph which is right as well. The cynical view of depression doesn't help at all. Not at least people who suffer from depression, but people in the 'halfway house' who in general need just some one to one talking with family or friends just to hold their hand along, but feel they can't reach out because of the connatations of depression, and people like your mates who will just go cheer up you miserable twat. But its often more complicated than that. The thing is i don't think you can add a new word to the dictionary to describe 'the halfway house'. It starts to catergorise the whole thing, and i don't think that helps anyone.

    For me, i generally feel as though i know what will sort of get me out of my 'rut' which i think is the difference betweent the two, it just not always as easy as just doing that because of outside influences which control that.

    sorry got to rush to work, so the post isn't probably as refined as i want it to be and i have just repeated the last coiple of pages... so yeah. have a good day people
    Edited by joelstinton at 06:51:00 20-01-2013

    Edited by joelstinton at 07:10:27 20-01-2013
  • localnotail 20 Jan 2013 10:21:07 23,093 posts
    Seen 5 months ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Most of our troubles are passing things that are not as big as they look, and we are strong enough to get over them and move on.

    The trouble with depression is that when you get swamped by lows, you naturally find it hard to get out of them. You withdraw from life, everything becomes insurmountable.

    It's like trying to get out of water at the deep end - it's hard to get out if you don't have the energy to pull yourself up. You should be able to get out - other people can, and you have done it before. But you are too weak for the effort.
    What you need to do is find the ladder out. One step at a time. It is there, it's just hard to see when you are focussed on how far you are from where you think you are.

    Rens11, do you think you are piling everything you have to do into one huge demon? Maybe try breaking it down into smaller tasks, focus on one at a time? The sleep stuff you mention is fairly classic forced avoidance procrastination stuff ;)

    It's normal to be down sometimes, and worry about new challenges (and old ones). Like the book says: feel the fear (and do it anyway). Not trying is an automatic total fail - better to try and then fail - maybe you might surprise yourself.

    All the best to anyone struggling.

    Edited by localnotail at 14:36:15 20-01-2013

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Rusty_M 20 Jan 2013 11:07:42 4,565 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    Diet drinks? Never noticed that when it was posted. I've always drank diet drinks, as I hate the way the sugary ones make my mouth feel. I'm one of those weirdos who prefers diet drinks. I also hate ice in my drinks.

    That is making me wonder if I should cut those out.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • localnotail 20 Jan 2013 12:22:53 23,093 posts
    Seen 5 months ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Has to be worth a try, Shirley.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Zackv4861 20 Jan 2013 13:16:33 1,082 posts
    Seen 15 hours ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    My wife has depression. She got diagnosed about five months ago. She's never had any get up and go, live life and make things happen kind of person. She just sits around and i have to arrange everything, if i don't it doesn't get done.

    She lost her job through her own fault unfortunately about five months ago also. Anway she finally found another job two days before Christmas and Monday just gone she tried killing herself. Only didn't as i stopped her, shit loads of pills on the floor, she had taken some but thankfully not enough to cause damage. We'd had an arguement but not by any means our worst and maybe works out at once a year, so not like we argue loads.

    When she woke up Tuesday she got up and decided not to go to work but never called in. She was asked not to come back (On agency trial period). Doesn't help how she feels but again kind of her own fault.

    She saw the doctor and her medication has gone up but says her two kids bring her no joy and i'm trying not to read it like it but it feels as though we're not worth living for.

    We earnt bloody good money before she lost her first job we saved a deposit on a house in less than a year and bought one. It's run down but thought we'd do it up and make it ours. Now we're up to our eyeballs in debt we could have easily paid off before and i have no idea what to do or how to help her. I'll be honest i'm not even sure i'm strong enough to handle this.

    Anyway i've never posted on anything un game related before and i'm not after even a reply, certainly not a magic wand to be waved and it get better but just felt i had to put it on here for some reason.

    Edited by Zackv4861 at 13:18:21 20-01-2013
  • Psychotext 20 Jan 2013 13:24:23 53,775 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    I'm sorry man, I wish there was something useful I could suggest. I will say this though (and I appreciate it's going to be hard given your financial troubles), sometimes just doing something different from time to time can be enough to lift a person. That could be something as simple as having a nice walk / cycle in the outdoors, or dong something completely new like... I don't know, abseiling or something!

    I came in here to say that I feel like I finally might be putting myself back together a bit after the last couple of years of hell... but I feel sort of guilty now.

    Good luck mate. Stay strong... and remember, even if it all hits the fan, where there's life there's hope. It would suck to lose your house if it happens but whilst you're not dead there's always a chance to try again. Hell, you'd be just like me with no house of his own. It's not so bad, no matter what society says about throwing money away. ;)

    My missus suffered from extremely bad depression for a couple of years, but I'm not going to discuss it here. She's a bit better now, but still prone to bouts of it. I know how hard it can be. :(

    Edited by Psychotext at 13:26:19 20-01-2013
  • Rens11 20 Jan 2013 13:38:35 1,385 posts
    Seen 8 hours ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    Cheers for the advice localtonail the thing is I know all the things I need to do, sometimes it just needs someone like you to break it down. You should teach CBT!

    Zack have you and your wife been to the doctors together? It sounds like she's having a real tough time and withdrawing. Sometimes little things can help like psychotext mentions going for walks is a really good idea, just getting out really. When I was bad I'd never go out, never see anyone if I could help it but my family were supportive and mum kept popping round do you have any friends or relatives you could invite round for a meal or dvd?

    Edited by Rens11 at 13:46:14 20-01-2013

    Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, hed eat you and everyone you care about!

  • Zackv4861 20 Jan 2013 16:10:11 1,082 posts
    Seen 15 hours ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    Cheers guys, well this week i'm working from home for obvious reasons but no housework has been done. There is one positive and that is she has gotten up everyday to take the kids to school and picked them up again. I've been told there's worse where getting out off bed just doesn't happen at all

    We went to the doctor together initially as with most people at first i guess you try to deny it. My sister took her Thursday just gone but she was like stone almost as if no-one was home. She has no real friends as she never makes the effort and has no conact with her family but the thing is everyone has their own life to be living. My mum's great though and although she works, she lives round the corner.

    Today's a good day, there's conversation, playing with the kids and she's even making dinner.

    I will try doing something different, i'd like to for the kids and myself also. Some family activities can only be a good thing but without sounding stupid sometimes i just can't be bothered. When she's had a bad day it's hard to just brush it off myself. It doesn't just affect her.

    Edited by Zackv4861 at 16:12:18 20-01-2013
  • Rens11 20 Jan 2013 17:18:12 1,385 posts
    Seen 8 hours ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    what you have to remember is that it's not your fault. Try and keep positive, you can do things together that don't cost much maybe suggest a 'cuddle and film day' or invite your family over for a meal that you two have cooked together. What did the GP say to you? did they arrange any CBT/Counselling or any medication?

    Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, hed eat you and everyone you care about!

  • Zackv4861 20 Jan 2013 17:27:16 1,082 posts
    Seen 15 hours ago
    Registered 4 years ago
    Yeah medication has been up'd again and counselling in 6-8 weeks.

    I have a health plan with work which includes free telephone counselling for spouses but she says it's no good. I don't know what couselling is really bit i have the feelling she expects to come out feeling instantly better about her life. She said the lady asked lots of questions. Anybody know what couselling is and how it works?

    It's hard not blaming myself partly but it frustrates me more that i can't fix it.

    I'll have a think about some social activities we can do together. Thank you
  • Psychotext 20 Jan 2013 17:28:46 53,775 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Zackv4861 wrote:
    It's hard not blaming myself partly but it frustrates me more that i can't fix it.
    Yeah, that's a man thing. Don't beat yourself up over it, I felt exactly the same way. It's frustrating knowing that there's little you can do to help a loved one, and sadly that can make things worse.
  • spamdangled 20 Jan 2013 17:36:59 27,269 posts
    Seen 59 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    Psychotext wrote:
    Zackv4861 wrote:
    It's hard not blaming myself partly but it frustrates me more that i can't fix it.
    Yeah, that's a man thing. Don't beat yourself up over it, I felt exactly the same way. It's frustrating knowing that there's little you can do to help a loved one, and sadly that can make things worse.
    This. It sounds like you're already doing pretty much the best you can do though - just being there for her. It's immensely frustrating for the person having to deal with someone with depression, but don't underestimate just how much just being there really does help, even if she isn't in the right state of mind to show appreciation. It would be ten times worse to leave her alone stewing in her own head, trust me.

    I really hope, for both of you that she gets better soon :)

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • atomicjuicer 20 Jan 2013 17:37:19 297 posts
    Seen 5 days ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    Funny how this thread's activity times seem to match my wife's moods...

    She's mega depressed today.

    Maybe the other sufferers on the board who feel like my wife does have some ideas about how I might help her? Should I just give her some space or should I try to be engaging?

    Hard to know and everyone's different I suppose. I get the feeling that she wants her space but its hard to just leave her to cry by herself. She let me comfort her earlier but now, well, maybe she just needs to figure it out in her own way...

    What's really strange is that I'm personally in a really awesome mood today. And for no reason in particular. I wonder if its chemical or weather based...
  • Rens11 20 Jan 2013 17:41:13 1,385 posts
    Seen 8 hours ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    Counselling doesn't work for everyone and sometimes it's a case of finding the right counsellor for you. Medication is exactly the same for many people it doesn't work and it's often not a quick so it's worth keeping tabs on it and if you don't see any improvement ask the GP to try another one. Maybe go back to the GP and ask about counselling face to face or mention about CBT. Try to stay positive there is light at the end of the tunnel!

    Edited by Rens11 at 17:43:24 20-01-2013

    Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, hed eat you and everyone you care about!

  • spamdangled 20 Jan 2013 17:44:09 27,269 posts
    Seen 59 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    atomicjuicer wrote:
    Funny how this thread's activity times seem to match my wife's moods...

    She's mega depressed today.

    Maybe the other sufferers on the board who feel like my wife does have some ideas about how I might help her? Should I just give her some space or should I try to be engaging?

    Hard to know and everyone's different I suppose. I get the feeling that she wants her space but its hard to just leave her to cry by herself. She let me comfort her earlier but now, well, maybe she just needs to figure it out in her own way...

    What's really strange is that I'm personally in a really awesome mood today. And for no reason in particular. I wonder if its chemical or weather based...
    Yeah, it seems to match mine too! I'm in a serious low phase the last couple of weeks. Something about winter that just sets it off, the lack of sunlight. I even went off on one to my long-suffering OH yesterday about how dim the lights are and not liking that he keeps the curtains closed during the day.

    I find, thinking about when I have a clear head, that even when I'm pushing people away and telling them to fuck off in a depressed rage, really all I want is a hug and some sort of feeling of human connection. Once I've had that, normally I have a small cry, tire myself out and then fall asleep for a bit. It's amazing how physically exhausting depression is. It's not just emotionally tiring.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • neosalad 20 Jan 2013 22:24:35 953 posts
    Seen 5 days ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    HWG!
  • Psychotext 2 Feb 2013 05:23:34 53,775 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Massively depressed tonight for some reason. I thought I was making progress with work and various things but a few problems have shown up and I've lost all my momentum. I've basically been tidying the house for the last 5 hours and I can't even be bothered going to bed.

    /shrug
  • Psychotext 2 Feb 2013 06:28:03 53,775 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Mmmhmmm. I'm sure there's no-one in here with clinical depression. Definitely not, couldn't be.
  • wogsy81 2 Feb 2013 06:28:53 717 posts
    Seen 2 weeks ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    @Gansosleftpeg
    Seriously though, i doubt that you are not a giant prick.

    Who are you to judge what these people are feeling?
    Crawl back under your rock soft lad!
  • MadCaddy13 2 Feb 2013 08:46:32 1,856 posts
    Seen 1 week ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    Yeh, read a few posts on here before you say such things.
  • RedSparrows 2 Feb 2013 09:00:45 21,961 posts
    Seen 9 hours ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    When I was a little bit down I had some counselling. Being able to talk about myself with no fear of embarrassment etc was very helpful in shifting that 'ball' of festering misery that was always in my chest and head.
  • RedSparrows 2 Feb 2013 09:01:52 21,961 posts
    Seen 9 hours ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    Ps why do you feel the need to do people down in here? Pathetic.
  • localnotail 2 Feb 2013 09:49:47 23,093 posts
    Seen 5 months ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    @Psychotext Sorry to hear that :( Have you been smoking weed lately? Can often give the chronic tidying and listlessness.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • superdelphinus 2 Feb 2013 10:51:59 8,011 posts
    Seen 14 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    @Zackv4861 really sorry to hear about that zack. My partner used to be as you describe but a few years later (and still on a low dose of meds) is a completely different person, so there is often light at the end of the tunnel. It often just takes a lot of support and time (and shit loads of patience) and just a couple of things to go right at the right time. Always worth keeping self-aware and making sure you aren't going down a similar road as a result, which is very easy to do.

    Good luck son
  • superdelphinus 2 Feb 2013 10:52:41 8,011 posts
    Seen 14 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    Gansosleftpeg wrote:
    Seriously though, I doubt any of you know what real depression is.
    Nob.
  • Page

    of 142 First / Last

Log in or register to reply