Russian news is the best

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  • smoothpete 8 Jun 2006 13:40:47 31,514 posts
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    I found the story peej mentioned in the Darwin Award thread about the Ukranian man who has a punch up with a bear, and I've found the motherload of weird news stories!

    Link. Scroll down for all the stories

    With such headlines as

    Russian Boss Punishes Lazy Employee By Chaining Him Naked to a Tree

    Chupacabra the Goatsucker Vampire Sightings Reported in Central Russia

    Moscow Man Throws Typewriter at Passing Ukrainian

    Man Fails to Remember How 10-cm Nail Got in His Head

    Drunk Russian Paratrooper Breaks 24 Bottles Over His Head and Falls Asleep

    Pig Barred from Football by Russian Police

    :D How good is that! We have crap news over here :)
  • Deleted user 8 June 2006 13:42:55
    Russian news at it's best.

    There had been a spate of injuries at the pit and the news team got a tip off that it was because half the workers were pissed.
  • Fozzie_bear 8 Jun 2006 13:44:01 15,530 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:

    Scan the Goatsucker Sightings Reported in Central Russia

    Name corrected.

    Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!

  • York 8 Jun 2006 13:44:19 8,667 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    Chupacabra the Goatsucker Vampire
    :D

    From the cooooooooock!
  • smoothpete 1 Aug 2006 15:01:13 31,514 posts
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    I need to move to Russia

    Seagulls kill swimmer

    Dear Mr Putin, please may I marry a cow?

    Woman eats lover's ex's tongue. Then tells everyone.

  • terminalterror 1 Aug 2006 15:05:17 18,937 posts
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    boabg wrote:
    Russian news at it's best.

    There had been a spate of injuries at the pit and the news team got a tip off that it was because half the workers were pissed.

    :D
  • heyyo 1 Aug 2006 15:08:22 14,373 posts
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    "The drunk, however, started to kick the bear but the animal hit the man again and again."

    lol
  • Latin 1 Aug 2006 15:11:11 3,679 posts
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    "Russian Mafia uses carrier pigeons to deliver drugs into prison"

    Amazing. Just Amazing.
  • smoothpete 1 Aug 2006 15:12:37 31,514 posts
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    Like I say, Russian news pisses on all other news. It's just all so absurd!
  • kalel 1 Aug 2006 15:13:48 87,695 posts
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    Russian pron is also good. I think I'd like Russia actually, good weather for me too. How does one become one of these Russian billionaires that we hear so much about?
  • jellyhead 1 Aug 2006 15:17:41 24,350 posts
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    kalel wrote:
    Russian pron is also good. I think I'd like Russia actually, good weather for me too. How does one become one of these Russian billionaires that we hear so much about?
    I'm certainly not going to mention the Russian Mafia.
    Ooops, I just did. :)

    This signature intentionally left blank.

  • terminalterror 1 Aug 2006 15:18:32 18,937 posts
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    kalel wrote:
    Russian pron is also good. I think I'd like Russia actually, good weather for me too. How does one become one of these Russian billionaires that we hear so much about?

    Good weather? Do you have any idea how varied Russian weather can be, it is a bloody big place!

    I lived in Moscow for 3 years and the weather ranged from -20 with loads of snow, to +30 and incredibly humid.

    The snow in winter was very cool though, particularly snowball fights at school every day :)
  • reality_cheque 1 Aug 2006 15:26:25 7,487 posts
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    This is easily my favourite - Russian Official Jailed for Forcing Subordinates to Study Scientology :D
  • Fozzie_bear 1 Aug 2006 16:33:33 15,530 posts
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    Best. News. Story. Ever.

    That's it. Shut off the internet. It's just been won.

    Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!

  • smoothpete 31 Aug 2006 16:53:36 31,514 posts
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    I fucking love it

    Suicide After Performing Transgender Operation on Self

    Could this one be the best yet?

    Participant of Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament Disqualified For Sexual Abuse of Apparatus

    O_o I mean, wow. Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament? Count me in!
  • TwistidChimp 31 Aug 2006 16:57:35 8,825 posts
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    Fozzie_bear wrote:
    Best. News. Story. Ever.

    That's it. Shut off the internet. It's just been won.

    The incident took place in Buryatia’s capital Ulan-Ude. The circus had to cancel the show as there was no replacement for the stolen motorcycle which was specially designed for monkeys.

    lol.. thats just great.

    I'm thinking of pitching an idea for a tv show. +News. It would offer an antidote to the usual depressing news by consiting of stories that are either really happy, or to do with monkeys on motorbikes.
  • Salaman 31 Aug 2006 16:59:55 19,068 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:

    Could this one be the best yet?

    Participant of Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament Disqualified For Sexual Abuse of Apparatus

    O_o I mean, wow. Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament? Count me in!

    OMGwtF! Hax00rzz!!1one!
  • Retroid Moderator 31 Aug 2006 17:02:49 44,782 posts
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    :D
  • souljah 31 Aug 2006 17:08:59 4,701 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:

    Could this one be the best yet?

    Participant of Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament Disqualified For Sexual Abuse of Apparatus

    O_o I mean, wow. Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament? Count me in!

    XD

    Ok, NOW switch off all the internets!
  • Dirtbox 21 Apr 2011 05:34:14 78,209 posts
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    This thread needs resurrection as our Russian comrades have been particularly batty recently.

    Russian President, and Dancer in Chief, Dmitry Medvedev does a weird puppet jig to "American Boy". Not something I expected to see.

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • comradetony 21 Apr 2011 06:55:11 200 posts
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    What a sellout. Medvedev is meant to be a Heavy Metal fan :S
  • LionheartDJH 21 Apr 2011 13:14:40 19,460 posts
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    That's quality! He should do a duet with his namesake.

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • glaeken 21 Apr 2011 13:17:41 11,176 posts
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    At lest they look like they are genuinely having a good time :) Unlike our politicians who look like they are being operating by remote control when they have to try and appear "cool" and dance.

  • LionheartDJH 21 Apr 2011 13:25:26 19,460 posts
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    They probably just don't know how to. I think for the 2015 election instead of live leader debates we should have a live leader dance off instead.

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • glaeken 21 Apr 2011 13:46:29 11,176 posts
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    I would be all for that.

    I think the problem with our guys is they think they need to do it to look cool to younger voters. They are not doing it because they want to. Where as those crazy Russians look like they are loving it.
  • Deleted user 21 April 2011 14:09:10
    Wow, it says something that this is one of the more normal stories :D http://mosnews.com/weird/2009/07/07/strongvagina/
  • LionheartDJH 21 Apr 2011 14:13:25 19,460 posts
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    In Soviet Russian, women parts are actually men parts.

    I bet Biggy is finding it hard to control himself just thinking of the possiblities with her...

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • LionheartDJH 21 Apr 2011 14:15:22 19,460 posts
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    The headlines in the OP are just awesome aswell. I particularly liked this one:


    Moscow Man Throws Typewriter at Passing Ukrainian

    Maybe he wanted to throw the book at him but the book wasn't finished yet?

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • Psychotext 21 Apr 2011 14:47:58 54,213 posts
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    RedPanda wrote:
    Wow, it says something that this is one of the more normal stories :D http://mosnews.com/weird/2009/07/07/strongvagina/
    I VILL CRUSH YOU!
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