Favourite method of dealing with cold sales calls (phone or doorstep) Page 6

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  • LHH 26 May 2010 15:15:09 75 posts
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    Best one I find when they phone you on your mobile is to just say you're working. Then they bugger off. The missus has the best technique though, she just hangs up the second the caller opens their mouth, be-it automated or a human.
  • speedofthepuma 26 May 2010 15:17:11 13,246 posts
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    Thanks SClaw, good post.

    I've turned off all the avatars and crap, so don't expect me to be impressed by yours.

  • Flying_Pig 26 May 2010 15:19:44 10,279 posts
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    Load "$" wrote:
    Spade is confronted by an innocent-looking, stunning brunette beauty, a nervy but cool client named "Ruth Wonderly". She has a fur draped over her left shoulder and part of it rests on her right arm. In a desperate and tense mood, Wonderly tells Spade that she is from New York and that her vintage massey ferguson 35X is missing. The client ostensibly asks Spade for help in locating her tractor, which vanished after ploughing the back 8 hectres on a stormy Thursday afternoon. Supposedly, it had been taken by a mysterious, menacing man named Floyd Thursby whom she had met at the post office when she was picking up her Fuel Pump Assembly (C.A.V. Injection) She explains what Thursby said...

    I need more!
  • StarchildHypocrethes 26 May 2010 15:21:19 24,565 posts
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    Load "$" wrote:
    Spade is confronted by an innocent-looking, stunning brunette beauty, a nervy but cool client named "Ruth Wonderly". She has a fur draped over her left shoulder and part of it rests on her right arm. In a desperate and tense mood, Wonderly tells Spade that she is from New York and that her vintage massey ferguson 35X is missing. The client ostensibly asks Spade for help in locating her tractor, which vanished after ploughing the back 8 hectres on a stormy Thursday afternoon. Supposedly, it had been taken by a mysterious, menacing man named Floyd Thursby whom she had met at the post office when she was picking up her Fuel Pump Assembly (C.A.V. Injection) She explains what Thursby said...
    Heh, that's excellent :D
  • boo 26 May 2010 15:23:01 11,604 posts
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    Cheers for the info, SClaw. Been meaning to register with the TPS for ages. Will get on and do something about it.

    We don't get called often, but I always make a point of telling them that we're ex-directory and demand to know where they got our number from.

    The thing that bugs me most though, is when someone like the RAC (which I'm a member of), or my bank/building society/etc rings up, and the first thing they say is 'Can you confirm your name and address please?'

    No I bloody can't!

    I explain to them, politely but firmly, that I know who I am, and if they're who they say they are, then they know who I am too, so I'm not going to start dishing out personal details to a cold caller who could, quite frankly, be anyone.

    At this point, they start going on about how they have to be sure who they're talking to before they proceed.

    'And you're about to proceed to try and sell me something, yes?'
    'Err, well... yes...'

    'No thanks. Bye.'

    Just Another Lego Blog

  • Melchett 26 May 2010 15:26:32 106 posts
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    Flying_Pig wrote:
    Load "$" wrote:
    Spade is confronted by an innocent-looking, stunning brunette beauty, a nervy but cool client named "Ruth Wonderly". She has a fur draped over her left shoulder and part of it rests on her right arm. In a desperate and tense mood, Wonderly tells Spade that she is from New York and that her vintage massey ferguson 35X is missing. The client ostensibly asks Spade for help in locating her tractor, which vanished after ploughing the back 8 hectres on a stormy Thursday afternoon. Supposedly, it had been taken by a mysterious, menacing man named Floyd Thursby whom she had met at the post office when she was picking up her Fuel Pump Assembly (C.A.V. Injection) She explains what Thursby said...

    I need more!

    Given that SClaw's post was actually very informative and I'll feel bad if it now gets swallowed up in tractor stuff I started a Tractor Thread. Which is just about the weirdest thing I've typed in these forums...

  • Shikasama 26 May 2010 15:26:57 6,277 posts
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    As someone who used to do door-to-door charity sign ups (and a made a packet off it) I'd like to inform you all that you're witty retorts actually mean nothing. They don't affect the people doing it in the slightest and they just move on to the next one.

    As for the 'I'd rather be pennyless than do this sort of job' comment, of course you would son. Being homeless and hungry is the much better solution.
  • Flying_Pig 26 May 2010 15:37:41 10,279 posts
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    That feels like a rather harsh comparison
  • kinky_mong 26 May 2010 15:46:43 9,607 posts
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    Flying_Pig wrote:
    That feels like a rather harsh comparison

    Yeah, at least the concentration camp guards did well at school.

    I'll never get my Orc looking the same again.

  • johnlenham 26 May 2010 15:50:27 4,000 posts
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    Dont really get many calls now as I just lie through my teeth.
    It was either stuff to do with reclaiming creditcard expenses or some shite or mobile phone contracts.

    Mobiles I would just make up that I get 1000 texts, 1000 mins and free internet for £10 a month and they would admit they couldnt beat that and never called again.

    Credit card ones called a few times and I ended up litening to one while playing COD4.
    She asks me if I have a CC "Nope" Debit card? "Nope" Storecards? "Nope"
    At this point she cracks up laughing and says sorry for bothering me!

    House ones I can palm off with "there not in atm" thankfully.

    Oh fuck I forgot about hte clipboard monkeys. Hate those bastards with a passion, I have to walk down what I now describe as "The gauntlet" which is the main highstreet avoiding groups of 4 or more bastards trying to collar people for Greenpeace.
  • kalel 26 May 2010 15:51:57 83,875 posts
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    Didn't really expect this conversation to get Godwinned.
  • nickthegun 26 May 2010 15:55:03 55,866 posts
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    Kajazo wrote:
    Ye probably but it annoys me people say they are only doing their job whatever job it is. Doesn't taking money to hinder/annoy people all day make it worse? And it's not like we live in a third-world country where you will starve if you don't take the work too.

    I bet you would also be the first person baying for blood at dolers refusing to work.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Stickman 26 May 2010 15:57:34 29,408 posts
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    "Ja, hello zere. I am callink from ze Third Reich Inzurance Kompany SEIG HEIL! Ahem, zorry...I vaz vonderink if you could answer me ein couple off qvestionz? Are you einen Juden?...ja..ja..OK, unt do you haf einen shower?...hello...hello? Gotten wunderdesplatzen! Zey hung up again Mr Boorman!"

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • DFawkes 26 May 2010 15:58:53 22,063 posts
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    kalel wrote:
    Didn't really expect this conversation to get Godwinned.

    Isn't the point of it that any and all conversations can be Godwinned? That's what I thought, though like you I didn't see this one coming after only a 6 pages. Besides, if Nazi's do call you you just tell them Kyle isn't there.

    I'd kick the living daylights out of the producers of Tipping Point - Ghandi

  • andywilkie35 26 May 2010 16:00:24 5,338 posts
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    Stickman wrote:
    "Ja, hello zere. I am callink from ze Third Reich Inzurance Kompany SEIG HEIL! Ahem, zorry...I vaz vonderink if you could answer me ein couple off qvestionz? Are you einen Juden?...ja..ja..OK, unt do you haf einen shower?...hello...hello? Gotten wunderdesplatzen! Zey hung up again Mr Boorman!"

    glol :D

    PSN ID & Xbox Gamertag: Wedjwants

  • Lukey__b 26 May 2010 16:06:07 3,725 posts
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    If you want to know the best way to get at em though, don’t bother with the witty remarks, the angry retorts or any of that bullshit…. Play along with them for a good time, and before they finish the questionnaire or are about to get to selling you something say bye and hang up. You’ve wasted your time but you’ve just wasted theirs as well.

    There’s nothing else you can really do to hurt them. Seriously, the stories of people going mad or trying to be funny get passed around as entertainment. Having them do their job properly and then get no pay off at the end of it is the worse thing you can do to them.

    Otherwise just hang up and get on with your day.

    'Sup, what's guanine?

  • SClaw 26 May 2010 16:12:13 826 posts
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    Thanks for the feedback. I hope that helps at least one person resolve probably the biggest casual annoyance in our society these days.

    Regarding the “confirm your details” bunch I recommend you ask for their details and never give out your own. Ask for their name, a contact number and what it’s regarding. If they can’t or won’t give you that then ask that they remove your number. If it’s billing or some such they should tell you, then you can check the number they give you then call them back to deal with it. The rest you can safely assume is junk fishing for details.

    On a technical note, most of these people are locked into a script. A lot of the time they literally can’t do anything if you won’t confirm the details aside from drop your call.

    Regarding “clipboard monkeys” in the streets - that is a job I’ve done. It was awful. Please don’t be rude! Just a “no thank you” and walk on your way is all you need. Incidentally, the “pros” know who to look for. Don’t hunch down and try to storm past, it’s a very submissive posture so they’ll try it on, and don’t try to stare them down because making eye contact will bring them over faster. Just keep on your way and ignore them as you would any other pedestrian, they’ll be less likely to target you.

    And really… shame on the people riding call centre folks. Yeah, we all hate to get them and it would be better if it didn’t happen but it’s not the fault of the person calling you. It’s a job for people who, generally, have little time or education. Single mothers earning something while the kids are at school, students trying to pay the bills and older people who just can’t get work anywhere. Like I said, there are some tools (like there are in every profession) but the vast majority are just people trying to earn a crust. Sure, it’s not the most “honourable” job but choice is a privilege of the wealthy – don’t piss on folk who have no choice.
  • Lukey__b 26 May 2010 16:22:34 3,725 posts
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    I have a casual second job doing telephone market research for customers of banks. We would never ask for details.

    We might ask you to confirm your name before we tell you who we are calling on behalf of, because data protection laws don’t allow us to tell anyone else who you bank with, so we need some sort of confirmation we have the right person. But it is only ever confirming a name.

    Still, it is surprising how many people are afraid to confirm their name in fear of ‘phishing’… seeing as I am already telling them their name, I have their phone number and I can tell them where they live and as soon as I know their name which bank and branch they use, it does seem a bit silly. I can understand it though, and it is better safe than sorry.

    'Sup, what's guanine?

  • johnlenham 26 May 2010 16:32:55 4,000 posts
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    Might not be relevant to most on here but the young folks can use the "under 18" against clipboard goons.
    My brother got stoppe dby one and he said about how the guy gave a massive speech and my brother nodded along until the end
    "So how old are you sir!"
    "17! " with an added grin
    The guys face was priceless.
    It the most effective way and ive used it myself a few times but mostly just avoid them.
  • President_Weasel 26 May 2010 16:39:12 8,604 posts
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    Shikasama wrote:
    As someone who used to do door-to-door charity sign ups (and a made a packet off it) I'd like to inform you all that you're witty retorts actually mean nothing. They don't affect the people doing it in the slightest and they just move on to the next one.

    As for the 'I'd rather be pennyless than do this sort of job' comment, of course you would son. Being homeless and hungry is the much better solution.

    The witty retorts are for the benefit of the retorter, not the retortee.
  • Flying_Pig 26 May 2010 16:42:14 10,279 posts
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    I'd try it myself, but I just don't think they'd buy it.

    2 other options:
    - some one trying to sell you double glazing, home improvements etc - "I'm renting"
    - Trying to sell you a financial services product (when they're not your bank) "I have a couple of CCJs. Is that a problem?"

    That usually works, but it's not as amusing as some of the other suggestions. I'm gonna have to try them out when I get the chance.
  • nickthegun 26 May 2010 16:51:58 55,866 posts
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    The two most annoying rounds of cold calling we got were from Kitchens Direct who seemed to call us every 3 hours for a couple of weeks and the fuckheads from Sky selling my mobile number to a load of panic merchants who kept ringing me up saying 'the warranty on your sky box is about to run out. It could explode at any time. Give us money'.

    They really fucked me off as they kept calling me at work.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Deleted user 26 May 2010 16:56:40
    Just politely say no thanks and then hang up.
  • ryohazuki1983 26 May 2010 17:04:14 685 posts
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    Best way I find is to say you already have what they are offering e.g if it's one of the people on the street asking you to sign up to the charity I just say I already signed up. Or to those guys in shopping malls who offer talk talk/sky/virgin etc packages I just say I am already with them.

    Find that a quick way to get rid of them, as saying no thanks doesn't always work!

    What does annoy me is when somebody calls me and asks me to confirm my details, I always call them back as it could be anybody.
  • DFawkes 26 May 2010 17:10:39 22,063 posts
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    I would've thought by your username you'd just ask them if they knew where you could find sailors.

    I'd kick the living daylights out of the producers of Tipping Point - Ghandi

  • mcmonkeyplc 26 May 2010 17:12:55 38,899 posts
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    Anyone get their knob out and have a wank while they are waiting for the person to finish their spiel?

    Not that I do. Just wondering. You are afterall a bunch of sexual deviants.

    Come and get it cumslingers!

  • ryohazuki1983 26 May 2010 17:14:24 685 posts
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    DFawkes wrote:
    I would've thought by your username you'd just ask them if they knew where you could find sailors.

    either that or "on that day, did you happen to see a black car"
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