GuiltySpark wrote:I didn't say they were, they merely share my opinion, which it was a poorly written, brainless action flick with a completely unintelligible plot, strung together practically on the fly for no other reason than letting them play out what they thought would be cool action scenes. If you can nutshell the plot for me I'd be fucking impressed.
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Dirtbox Best Forumite, 2015 87,095 posts
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It's not that complicated, is it?
A misguided Starfleet Admiral tries to start a war by putting together a team of super soldiers, but one of them rebels. That same Admiral then tries to manipulate the Enterprise into a starting a war and killing that Rebel at the same time. The Rebel is smart and turns it around, doing more rebelling. Because he's a Rebel!
That's essentially the plot, isn't it? There's other stuff going on but it's mostly feeding into that story. Certainly didn't feel unintelligible when I was watching it, and I'm generally terrible at following movies.
Dirtbox wrote:Kirk has threesome with kitten women. Spock yells. They rip off Godfather 3. Spock and Kirk kiss and make up. Sherlock punches people.
If you can nutshell the plot for me I'd be fucking impressed.
Ironlungs is far better
Heh, I tried coming up with a haiku version but my rugrat kept me away from anything clearer.
/phasers set to thoughtful
A good guy turns bad
Kirk prevents war with Klingons
Mr Spock shouts KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
Very good, I've been pondering this topic for some time, sadly my haiku is shite.
I've obviously been far too fascinated with rhyming "DP pussycat, Vulcan neckgrip, Sherlock prevails for mindblowing sequel"
Writers have it easy
I watched it again, this time in 2D and enjoyed it just as much as a I did the first time. In fact a little more because a couple of criticisms I read after the first time that I sort of agree with were nullified paying attention more closely this time round.
RichieTenenbaum 2,336 posts
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I went and watched it, against my better judgement.
Turns out, it's good.
I liked it.
MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2015 44,860 posts
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I enjoyed it but I had some issues with it. For me the quality of the film dropped as soon as Spock called prime Spock and had him spell it out for him, and asked him how he was defeated. Like they couldn't do it themselves.
I was kinda OK with them re-doing the radiation scene with the roles reversed but the KHAAAAAAAAAN was ridiculous and made me literally face palm. I saw my wife cringe and she's not even much of a fan.
Of course what made that scene even more cringeworthy was telegraphing how Kirk was going to survive when McCoy was pissing about with that dead tribble and Khan's blood.
So although it didn't run the film or owt, it still left a bad taste in my mouth.
WRT the redlettermedia review discussed above, theres now a seven minute Mr Plinkett bit discussing all the cribs (intentional and unintentional) from the other movies.
morriss 71,298 posts
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Summer blockbuster isn't deep, considered cinema shocker.
Loved the ride, great fun. Cumberbatch was awesome as usual.
kingcrowbar 952 posts
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Only just released here, so I've been avoiding what feels like half the internet and Star Trek Online for the past month.
Maybe it was due to the dark and the 3D, but for a few hopeful minutes I thought it might actually go in a different direction and they wouldn't just copy WoK. When Kahn went berserk on the bridge I thought he had killed Scotty (perhaps for the accent) and was genuinely shocked, until they beamed back to the Enterprise.
Then later on in the warp core scene I had hoped that maybe after setting up old Spock again, he might transwarp-trasport (or whatever it is called) from New Vulcan and intercept Kirk thus setting up a twist of an old Spock-Spock hand on glass moment or something, but then I remembered Bones attempting to zombify a Tribble for no reason whatsoever /o\
Enjoyable enough but as a life long Star Trek fan I do feel cheated at what could have been with the whole reboot universe and could happily had a few films of Pike as Captain with Kirk and Spock as subordinates rather than this nonsense of them getting promoted/demoted as the scene requires.
Jmek 1,469 posts
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Man, I was so disappointed with this movie. To me it's pretty endemic of the imaginative poverty in Holywood these days. The script is really, really terrible but they try to bludgeon you over the head with pretty visuals and it rattles along at warp speed in the vain hope you won't notice. They've got a great cast and a whole universe to explore, so there's no excuse. It's my hope that seeing as Abrahams is off on the Star Wars gig we may get rid of Orci & Kurtzman too. Oh, and Damon Lindlof deserves to be tarred & feathered and run out of town for this and Prometheus.
Dave_McCoy 3,071 posts
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Finally been to see this. Enjoyed it for what it was...a lot of fawning moments between Kirk and Spock though.
One thing that irked me in five minutes though was what the FUCK was the Enterprise doing, not only in atmosphere but under the bloody sea?? Starships, apart from Intrepid classes and maybe one other, don't enter the atmosphere unless it's absolutely unavoidable!
Now I feel a bit geeky and sad...
Well we know the Enterprise can fly in the atmosphere since it was built on the ground in the first film?
"How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?!?!"
"Well, it was built for space travel, so anywhere between zero and one."
Caught this last night. Very different pacing to the first film in places, but it hit a lot of the right character beats. Throwaway plot, sadly, and while the bad guy was interesting he was never really developed to anything like the degree he could've been. Even Eric Bana was given more screen time to establish motivations in the first one.
While cheesy as fuck (and signposted from the moment Dr. Marcus made an appearance) I sort of liked the reversal of the original WoK death scene and all that jazz surrounding it.
Can't help but feeling that rolling out Nimoy for a short turn in this one was just getting him in one more movie before popping his clogs.
It's all too easy to misremember the older Trek movies as bastions of scientific accuracy and deeper meaning, but let's not forget that Kirk ultimately defeated Khan by remembering that space was three di-fucking-mensional. The franchise is no stranger to pulling shit like that, so the contrivances in the reboot movies don't bother me as much in that regard.
Into Darkness felt like a super high budget 'episode' in the movie franchises, which is bad in a way, but I must confess to enjoying how they're playing out some of the alternate reality stuff. It's a nice workaround to not having a TV series to riff off of.
I'll happily queue up for more, if only to see how many more references to old movies and episodes they can cram in there.
Tribbles can get fucked, though.
Edited by Phattso at 06:24:24 19-06-2013
*looks around sheepishly*
Nope, still not safe to say I thought it was a shit DS9 episode.
/backs away carefully.
There were no fucking annoying children in it, so it was nothing like DS9.
Phattso wrote:So Scotty etc are adults then?
There were no fucking annoying children in it, so it was nothing like DS9.
That's a fair point, well made.
It's a strange movie - it really does have an episode feel to it, rather than a cinematic event. It wouldn't be out of place in a run of eight or nine films but would be a real waste if it was part of a trilogy, if you know what I mean?
Still enjoyed it though. I think The Sun might call it "rip roaring" and possibly "barnstorming" or even "barnstorming romp" on a good day.
Kirk remembering space is three dimensional is one step ahead of every other captain.
'OH NO! A SPACE BLOCKADE! WHAT CAN WE DO?!?'
Steve_Perry wrote:The thing that caught my eye on the particular webpage is that Empire gave Cowboys & Aliens four-blooming-stars!
Thank the lord.
... it was an astoundingly average film.
Anyways, this is GOOD NEWS.
Charlie, what is your fascination with bold?
Anyway, yes this is good news. Hopefully this means the breakneck pace will slow down a little. First Class was great, and handled a large cast of characters well. Although I could have sworn Woss's wife wrote it.
CosmicFuzz wrote:She did Kiss-Ass, right?
Although I could have sworn Woss's wife wrote it.
I believe she wrote First Class, seeing as her name pops up on the screenplay part of the credits.
... or I could be wrong.
A boldless message just for you CosmicFuzz!
RobAnybody 1,176 posts
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Steve_Perry wrote:Unfortunately it's a case of "out of the frying pan, into the fire" seeing as they are now using the X-Men First Class/Thor writers (both badly written films).
Thank the lord.
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