Your most un-smooth moment

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  • Dirtbox 26 May 2005 13:07:05 76,317 posts
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    You already know most of mine, so I won't bore you with particulars. I was just wondering how much everyone else fucks it up :)

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • pjmaybe 26 May 2005 13:09:24 70,676 posts
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    Most unsmooth moment - being invited to stay at my ex's parents house, and accidentally catching her mum and dad "at it" on the bathroom floor one morning...

    Unsmooth? Embarrasing? Unsmooth because all I could think to say was "Ahhh it's nice that you still do that at your age!"

    The rest of the week was spent in virtual silence.

    Peej
  • Razz 26 May 2005 13:09:26 59,982 posts
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    Razz: I thought you were thicker
    M_H: o_O

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  • Mike_Hunt 26 May 2005 13:19:59 23,512 posts
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    Aye, that'll be one I'm not forgetting. Not the best way of introducing yourself mate!

    [MH]
  • Razz 26 May 2005 13:21:46 59,982 posts
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    You still have a lovely bum

    /adds to list

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  • Mike_Hunt 26 May 2005 13:23:10 23,512 posts
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    Too many to list. One that jumps to mind is being challenged to down a pint by some friends. Normally I'd refuse but I was out with a girl (now an ex) I was trying to pull.

    I downed the pint, in one.

    Then threw it back up, into the glass.

    That was smooooooth, well apart from the lumps of diced carrot.

    [MH]
  • Mike_Hunt 26 May 2005 13:23:34 23,512 posts
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    WHAT.
    LIST.
    ?

    [MH]
  • Razz 26 May 2005 13:26:09 59,982 posts
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    Hello Mr Postman!

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  • ssuellid 26 May 2005 13:26:45 19,141 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    Hello Mr Postman!

    Said Razz as he pulled back the duvet?
  • smoothpete 26 May 2005 13:28:15 31,016 posts
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    Not many (hence the name), but probably being caught wanking to anal pr0n by my female flatmate and my ex-girlfriend
  • pjmaybe 26 May 2005 13:28:53 70,676 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    Not many (hence the name), but probably being caught wanking to anal pr0n by my female flatmate and my ex-girlfriend

    Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner...!

    Peej
  • Mr_Sleep 26 May 2005 13:32:09 16,221 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    Not many (hence the name), but probably being caught wanking to anal pr0n by my...ex-girlfriend
    Are the two connected? ;)

    You are a factory of sadness.

  • smoothpete 26 May 2005 13:37:26 31,016 posts
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    Mr Sleep wrote:
    smoothpete wrote:
    Not many (hence the name), but probably being caught wanking to anal pr0n by my...ex-girlfriend
    Are the two connected? ;)
    No, but had we still been together I'm pretty sure it would have been a "ending sequence"
  • Mr_Sleep 26 May 2005 13:53:47 16,221 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    No, but had we still been together I'm pretty sure it would have been a "ending sequence"
    Heh, my girlfriend did find some dodgy links but just took the piss and found it rather funny...granted it wasn't anything too dodgy.

    You are a factory of sadness.

  • zErOb_cOOl 26 May 2005 14:32:44 3,237 posts
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    Calling a mate a "Big gay bear", only to later find out he was gay, which I then tried to claim I knew all along.

    Think I only got away with it cos we were all drunk :)
  • zErOb_cOOl 26 May 2005 14:35:06 3,237 posts
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    Oh yes and, after earning myself my comedy wrestler name of 'Gender Bender', I announced, without thinking, that "I am only Gender Bender when I'm in the ring!"

    The hilarity provailed well into the night :(
  • Deleted user 26 May 2005 14:38:02
    I once accidentally set my girlfriend's hair on fire in the pub in front of 2 other guys we worked with.

    I was facing them wondering why they were staring mouths ajar at her head and not drinking.
  • silver-jon 26 May 2005 15:04:01 1,518 posts
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    zErOb_cOOl wrote:
    Oh yes and, after earning myself my comedy wrestler name of 'Gender Bender', I announced, without thinking, that "I am only Gender Bender when I'm in the ring!"

    The hilarity provailed well into the night :(

    What is it with the word 'ring', eh ?

    Pfff

    /wanders off forum whistling innocently . . .
  • silver-jon 26 May 2005 15:13:41 1,518 posts
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    Just remembered mine.
    I was 16 years old and had just finished O-levels. My dad was a musical extra in the film "Absolute Beginners" (you know, with Chesney Hawkes and Patsy Kensit). Anyway I went to the studio with him one day and kind of mooched around, seeing how shots were set-up, how many 'takes' were needed to get it right, etc.

    Sometime mid-afternoon and the director gives the actors a break for half an hour or something. I'm skulking on-set when around the corner, striding purposefully and almost right into me comes Patsy Kensit wearing the tightest yellow dress I've ever seen in my life (it was so tight I could actually make out the detail of her nipples. Not just peanuts - I mean the tiny details). All long, tanned legs, tiny waist and firm breasts she was. And standing about a foot away from me. Staring at me for a moment.

    I just gawped. Seriously and embarrasingly slack jawed and making a subconscious quite kind of "uhhh" noise (I think it must have been the sound of my balls exploding).

    She walked past and I didn't move for about a week.

    That was un-smooth.
  • oceanmotion 26 May 2005 15:19:23 15,243 posts
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    I once called my mates bird a hooker though I was drunk at the time. A bag made its way to the back of my head. I think it was justified. She found it funny. Cool lass.
  • zErOb_cOOl 26 May 2005 15:29:56 3,237 posts
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    silver jon wrote:
    zErOb_cOOl wrote:
    Oh yes and, after earning myself my comedy wrestler name of 'Gender Bender', I announced, without thinking, that "I am only Gender Bender when I'm in the ring!"

    The hilarity provailed well into the night :(

    What is it with the word 'ring', eh ?

    Pfff

    /wanders off forum whistling innocently . . .

    Lol! Yeah I know. Kids (and Craig Charles) eh? Pfff
  • eviltobz  26 May 2005 15:30:48 2,609 posts
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    zErOb_cOOl wrote:
    Calling a mate a "Big gay bear", only to later find out he was gay, which I then tried to claim I knew all along.

    Think I only got away with it cos we were all drunk :)
    heh. i did something quite similar. there were a few signs that he swang that way, but equally had said a few things to imply he didn't, so i thought nothing of it when i said something along the lines of "i'm gay, you're gay, we're all gay, just deal with it." and he then told me that he actually was. damn i shut up fast at that point :)
  • Ecanem 26 May 2005 15:36:11 5,035 posts
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    Aged 15 when my mom found a huge stack of pron mags covered away in the back of my closet.. She just put them back and said nothing.. (I stood next to her when she found them...)...
  • Razz 26 May 2005 15:42:17 59,982 posts
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    Post deleted

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  • RubyRed 26 May 2005 15:43:28 4,303 posts
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    I fell off my shoes once. A bunch of old women helped me up.
  • Razz 26 May 2005 15:44:25 59,982 posts
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    ROFLOL!

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  • Razz 26 May 2005 15:45:51 59,982 posts
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    OMG! I remember farting loudly on a busy tube right in a schoolgirls face. Poor thing. The worst thing was that no said a word. not even a laugh, just silence.

    Edited by Razz at 15:45:23 26-05-2005

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  • Ecanem 26 May 2005 15:50:13 5,035 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    OMG! I remember farting loudly on a busy tube right in a schoolgirls face. Poor thing. The worst thing was that no said a word. not even a laugh, just silence.

    Hehe, that's bad..

    I farted someone in the face once.. on purpose though.. he was a smoker and while I was having my lunch he repeatedly blew smoke into my face. Really pissed me off.. - then I finished and he sat down to eat.. so just as I walk by him his face is right *behind* me.. PRrrrrrrop! To make it even better he was my boss at the time.. a right old bastard if there ever was one..
  • gnomelover 26 May 2005 15:55:15 65 posts
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    Some real choice moments in here!

    Trying to think of just one myself, lest I write a book.

    Once while visiting my girl at uni I got completely pissed early on in the night. Wound up passing out and waking back up a few hours later while the party was still raging in her flat, and staggering out in next to nothing to find the bathroom. Walked into her flatmate's bedroom while her flatmate was in bed with a guy, and attempted to unload in her closet. The half-dressed, unhappy gentleman escorted me out the door and locked it. I then barged into the next door I found, another flatmate's room, who was also in bed with another guy, and attempted the same thing in her closet. Same result. I eventually found the appropriate place, but instead of going back to bed, I went downstairs and passed out on the floor, almost naked, in the middle of the party.
  • silver-jon 26 May 2005 15:59:05 1,518 posts
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    Ladies and gentlemen - we have a winner.
    Nice one, gnomelover.
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