I have an idea for a comic and would like some feedback. Page 2

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  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 11 Sep 2016 19:57:07 8,815 posts
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    Rodimus-Prime wrote:
    Decks wrote:
    I can draw. If you make it so every panel references a blimp in some way I'll do it for free.
    Okay. So what if in the first panel when the main guy gets locked in his freezer and has his ice cream van firebombed... just before he is attacked he looks at his brand new ice cream man equipment and says 'i can feel it - this is going to be a good year'.

    And then he screams BLIMMMMMMPPPPP for three panels. Then a blimp crashes into him and kills him. And then it turns out he is actually a blimp.
  • Deleted user 11 September 2016 20:13:58
    Blimp Tales
  • Vortex808 11 Sep 2016 21:03:40 11,463 posts
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    The Blimpsons?
  • Rodimus-Prime 11 Sep 2016 21:41:06 228 posts
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    I've changed my mind. No blimps. (Unless IDW decide to publish it and want to do a TMNT crossover, obviously).

    Although now that i think about it, the themes i want to deal with are political in nature... so perhaps there is some symbolism in an object that ascends once it deflates bags of hot air.
  • Deleted user 11 September 2016 21:42:28
    Political? Like having a shot of a white Magnum hand holding a Feast's hand
  • Rodimus-Prime 11 Sep 2016 21:48:01 228 posts
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    The characters won't actually be ice creams, you understand. They'll just look like them. Twister will wear one of those bubble gillet things. Vienetta will wear a frilly dress, with the hem being ruffled to look like the curls of chocolate/ice cream.

    Feast, who i invision as a cannibal, will have Vivian-style metal stars on his head, to resemble the nobbly bits on the ice cream.

    And Callipo will be very tall and thin, with one of these haircuts.



    Edited by Rodimus-Prime at 21:49:08 11-09-2016
  • BinaryBob101 11 Sep 2016 21:51:08 26,502 posts
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    @Rodimus-Prime I worry for you, tbh. Is this a serious attempt at a profit-making venture, or just a bit of fun you can show the kids?

    They say you should write about what you know, maybe take something from you private investigator career and remix that?

    I'll be honest:

    THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 11 Sep 2016 21:53:25 8,815 posts
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    So reading between the lines here, we're good to go with the blimps. If I've got time at work tomorrow I'll knock up a quick sketch of where I think we should go with this. Oh the humanity.
  • Deleted user 11 September 2016 21:55:01
    Vienetta sounds like a total slag.

    Tiger Woods could play Neapolitan as he's all three
  • Rodimus-Prime 11 Sep 2016 22:01:15 228 posts
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    BinaryBob101 wrote:
    @Rodimus-Prime I worry for you, tbh. Is this a serious attempt at a profit-making venture, or just a bit of fun you can show the kids?

    They say you should write about what you know, maybe take something from you private investigator career and remix that?

    I'll be honest:

    THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA
    I appreciate your honesty, but i'm not looking to make any money out of this. I'm a big comic-book reader and have always fancied trying to create one.

    If you want to hear a terrible idea, my first concept for a comic was a turf war between two office workers on a shared excel spreadsheet. One of them fancied himself as 'the Fonze of Excel' and claimed that all he has to do is type in that sweet formulae, and she spreads her sheets for him.

    The other was based on a former colleague whose sole job was to open letters and type in the value in row C of my spreadsheet, but he constantly screwed it up. So i'm not sure that writing about what you know about is necessarily the best idea.

    Especially as i only really take on cases where i am asked to prove that a spouse is being unfaithful.
  • Deleted user 11 September 2016 22:03:43
    Can't the characters be actual ice cream
  • Rodimus-Prime 11 Sep 2016 22:07:35 228 posts
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    No. That would ruin the ending. They have to be humanised ideals of what each individual ice cream would be like based on its flavour, wrapping, name and other characteristics.

    Otherwise when the main guy emerges from the freezer for the final time, the readers won't wonder if he invented them while trapped in the cold.
  • neilka 11 Sep 2016 22:38:05 20,155 posts
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    I think you may be basically remaking Foodfight.

  • Devilligan 11 Sep 2016 22:40:17 353 posts
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    As a professional writer I have a big note that you might want to be weary of:

    If you name characters after ice cream names that are trademarked by Wall's or any other ice cream company, you'll potentially find yourself with a copyright issue if you want to get the comic published.

    You might be able to get away with Magnum, because it's a word that it's in common usage, but something like Callipo would be problematic as it's a Wall's originated name.

    Types of ice cream like Neapolitan or Straciatelli would be fine, because they're not copyrighted, but definitely steer clear of brand names.
  • Saul_Iscariot 11 Sep 2016 23:17:04 2,906 posts
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    What about I pushed it up Annie? That is an ice cream I remember too well.
  • SteveMsater 11 Sep 2016 23:44:00 327 posts
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    I've tried to read the pitch for this several times, but a sort of shrill screaming in my head causes me to lose concentration about halfway through
  • challenge_hanukkah 11 Sep 2016 23:49:29 4,599 posts
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    Brain freeze?
  • Deleted user 12 September 2016 06:45:08
    The gay detective is Tutti Fruiti
  • twelveways 12 Sep 2016 08:33:20 7,119 posts
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    I'm not really sold on the idea but I do like the bit about blimps
  • Trafford 12 Sep 2016 09:44:21 7,927 posts
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    I'd like to see a character called Cornish Waifer.
  • Trafford 12 Sep 2016 09:44:56 7,927 posts
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    Also, Penny Lick.
  • Deleted user 12 September 2016 09:47:24
    Detectives 99 and A Flake, the buddy cop sub plot within the cartoon.

    NB: all of my ideas are free to use but only on the condition that the characters are actual ice creams
  • Trafford 12 Sep 2016 09:48:26 7,927 posts
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    King Cone, such a badass.
  • Trafford 12 Sep 2016 09:51:01 7,927 posts
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    The main character should have a special move where they throw chopped nuts in a villains face and splurges raspberry sauce from somewhere up their cuff.
  • spamdangled 12 Sep 2016 09:58:39 30,467 posts
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    Rodimus-Prime wrote:
    I can see this one day being made a part of the English curriculum at secondary schools.
    Lol.
  • Deleted user 12 September 2016 09:59:34
    Right, let's talk soundtrack for the inevitable movie adaption.

    Wall's! Hur! Good god y'all, what is it good for
  • Trafford 12 Sep 2016 10:01:02 7,927 posts
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    Absolutely Screwball!
    Say it again...
  • spamdangled 12 Sep 2016 10:02:58 30,467 posts
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    This has to be a wind up.
  • Trafford 12 Sep 2016 10:06:50 7,927 posts
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    Get away, this is the greatest idea since Superman, or hot choc dip.
  • Deleted user 12 September 2016 11:40:14
    Trafford wrote:
    The main character should have a special move where they throw chopped nuts in a villains face and splurges raspberry sauce from somewhere up their cuff.
    All the ostensible villains have nut allergies, making the moralistic stance confusing, as this is Ice Cream Watchmen. Are the ice creams fighting crime, or are they just shits
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