How long can you hold your shit?

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  • pacrifice 9 May 2014 19:39:27 1,091 posts
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    As a kid, in my teens, several hours, possibly even a day before I'd start to rupture and now, about 10 minutes at which point the yearning for the release, is too intense.

    Discuss.
  • jonsaan 9 May 2014 19:41:01 25,360 posts
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    Until my arms start to ache. Then I usually drop it.

    FCUTA!

  • Razz 9 May 2014 19:41:40 61,395 posts
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    You hold your shit... In your hands?

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  • Deckard1 9 May 2014 19:43:45 28,737 posts
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    Just stick a broom handle up there instead
  • Metalfish 9 May 2014 19:44:43 8,830 posts
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    In before colon snake?
  • neilka 9 May 2014 19:48:09 16,256 posts
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    This is why you keep a flask with you.

    Can alter the flavour of your sausages though.
  • ILoveThrashMetal 9 May 2014 19:49:15 751 posts
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    9 days. No matter how much jungle juice they fed me, there was no fucking way I was taking a dump in my hospital bed pan. My sphincter was staying firmly shut.

    Arsechickens

  • Razz 9 May 2014 19:51:02 61,395 posts
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    No sense of adventure

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  • ILoveThrashMetal 9 May 2014 19:53:45 751 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    No sense of adventure
    True, but I now know what it's like giving birth

    Arsechickens

  • Defecationqueen 9 May 2014 19:55:39 561 posts
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    There's nothing worse than holding in an urgent need to shit, and then finding that when you finally have the time to drop your load the desire to shit has gone.
  • reggy72 9 May 2014 20:13:53 296 posts
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    With the Norovirus I managed around 12 seconds from urge to gravy ejection and that was with the bomb bay door squeezed so tight I couldn't breathe.
  • the_dudefather 9 May 2014 20:15:37 9,327 posts
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    29 years and counting

    (ง ͠ ͟ʖ ͡)

  • PES_Fanboy 9 May 2014 20:46:10 17,124 posts
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    I've never felt compelled to time it.

    I have however got reasonable data on holding in piss. My sister lives in an utter shithole, the bathroom being the worst, so on a visit there a few years ago I held on until I left her house (like, hours).

    In the car, piss was trickling out slightly even though I was trying to hold it - not much but a little bit. Finally made it back to where I was staying and that piss was amazing.

    BUT I don't recommend it, I had kidney pain for about two days after :o
  • Rajin 9 May 2014 20:53:17 631 posts
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    5 days? Was in Thailand and i have no idea what happened because i merrily kept on eating and drinking. It did feel weird like i was carrying a extra kilo or so. My brother was afraid i would explode at some point so he forced a 1 liter of coffee on me. But damm..... the size of shit which came out of me was unreal.
  • Bremenacht 9 May 2014 21:05:40 18,721 posts
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    I misread the title as 'how long can you hold your shirt'. I reckon I can hold my shit longer than I can hold my shirt.
  • warlockuk 9 May 2014 21:08:54 19,187 posts
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    I thought the OP was Marco for a sec. One more post and he/she hits 1,000!

    I'm a grumpy bastard.

  • FuzzyDuck 9 May 2014 21:13:07 4,342 posts
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    Not long enough

    /takes mop to floor just outside bathroom.
  • Razz 9 May 2014 21:19:42 61,395 posts
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    Rajin wrote:
    5 days? Was in Thailand and i have no idea what happened because i merrily kept on eating and drinking. It did feel weird like i was carrying a extra kilo or so. My brother was afraid i would explode at some point so he forced a 1 liter of coffee on me. But damm..... the size of shit which came out of me was unreal.
    I love those pỏ͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞̼̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖͉̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰̲͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪̩̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰̞̖̠̣̦̰̙͕ ỏ͖͈̞̩͎̻̫̫̜͉̠̫͕̭̭̫̫̹̗̹͈̼̠̖͍͚̥͈̮̼͕̠̤̯̻̥̬̗̼̳̤̳̬̪̹͚̞̼̠͕̼̠̦͚̫͔̯̹͉͉̘͎͕̼̣̝͙̱̟̹̩̟̳̦̭͉̮̖̭̣̣̞̙̗̜̺̭̻̥͚͙̝̦̲̱͉͖͉̰̦͎̫̣̼͎͍̠̮͓̹̹͉̤̰̗̙͕͇͔̱͕̭͈̳̗̭͔̘̖̺̮̜̠͖̘͓̳͕̟̠̱̫̤͓͔̘̰̲͙͍͇̙͎̣̼̗̖͙̯͉̠̟͈͍͕̪͓̝̩̦̖̹̼̠̘̮͚̟͉̺̜͍͓̯̳̱̻͕̣̳͉̻̭̭̱͍̪̩̭̺͕̺̼̥̪͖̦̟͎̻̰̞̖̠̣̦̰̙͕ zilla shits. Makes you wonder what all the fuss about child birth is about.

    Edited by Razz at 00:51:23 11-05-2014

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  • Load_2.0 9 May 2014 21:31:56 19,444 posts
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    If i don't shit at 7.45 1000 Chinese people will die.
  • PES_Fanboy 9 May 2014 21:32:34 17,124 posts
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    Will the Coreans be okay
  • Oh-Bollox 9 May 2014 21:50:53 5,327 posts
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    I think I've gone a week, but that was on Army rations. And even then, the shit at the end was just rabbit tods.
  • mcmothercruncher 9 May 2014 21:51:01 7,216 posts
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    They're fine.

  • PES_Fanboy 9 May 2014 21:53:44 17,124 posts
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    Where's Wayne Corr nowadays?
  • TVoJ 9 May 2014 22:04:19 2,005 posts
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    I went about 10 days before.

    When I was 20 I think, I shattered both my wrists in a drunken fall after an Arctic Monkey's gig in Barfly.

    Had plaster cast up to both my shoulders. Luckily the morphine based painkillers they gave me had the side effect of constipating me.

    Thank fuck because there was absolutely no chance of me wiping my own arse and my Mam was off on a cruise so it would have had to be one of the boys :eek:

    By the time I needed a shit I'd been up the hospital and they'd trimmed the casts to below my elbows so I could get my arm round there. Still weren't easy mind.
  • FuzzyDuck 9 May 2014 22:07:22 4,342 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    Rajin wrote:
    5 days? Was in Thailand and i have no idea what happened because i merrily kept on eating and drinking. It did feel weird like i was carrying a extra kilo or so. My brother was afraid i would explode at some point so he forced a 1 liter of coffee on me. But damm..... the size of shit which came out of me was unreal.
    I love those poozilla shits. Makes you wonder what all the fuss about child birth is about.
    Myself and a mate used to play Worms on the PC a good bit. I hadn't had a proper shit in a few days, laid one in the jacks and was so big I blocked it. From then on, we called any shit big enough to block a toilet after my weapon of choice to win the game of Worms; Concrete Donkey.
  • phAge 9 May 2014 22:09:40 24,386 posts
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    True story:

    I once mountainbiked 23 km of Greenlandish dirt road while holding in a gargantuan poo. The final 5 clicks were possibly the most unpleasant 15 minutes of my life up to that point.

    The toilet at Nuuk airport will never be the same.
  • drip 9 May 2014 22:23:37 4,302 posts
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    Is this a subversive question about my ability to uphold quality standards in my postings?
  • captainrentboy 9 May 2014 22:57:12 1,023 posts
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    My terrible disability of not being able to hold a shit in for more than 30 seconds is widely known, and taken the piss out of, by all of my mates.
    You could say that I'm.......... The butt of all their jokes........ LOL!! :/

    Seriously though, I've probably got ass cancer.
  • RightBean 9 May 2014 23:11:25 661 posts
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    As long as my boss requires. I once sat at my desk for 16 hours without moving.
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