Top tip -- always say 'NO' to a gang bang. Page 3

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  • Dizzy 25 Mar 2014 10:29:25 2,908 posts
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    Oh wait... is this turning into the "sexual confessions" thread now?
  • mcmonkeyplc 25 Mar 2014 10:29:30 39,892 posts
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    Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with you people? 2 pages and no one has asked if Charlie FHUTA?!

    Standards are seriously slipping.
  • danathjo 25 Mar 2014 10:30:55 7,729 posts
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    I once walked through a German gay sex dungeon once, once my eyes adjusted to the low light I decided to leave straight away. The animalistic noises I heard still haunt me to this day.
  • Zomoniac 25 Mar 2014 10:31:59 8,480 posts
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    sport wrote:
    Zomoniac wrote:
    I went to a gimp party once (I'm not sure that's the official name, but it's what I like to call it), though I did know full well what I was going to so hardly comparable.
    haha, why am I not surprised. Did you go with dino girl?
    Heh, no :)

    (That would've been terrifying to watch as she gorged herself on everything that moved)

    It was about 2 years ago, met a girl at a party, she said she was going away travelling for a couple of years in about six weeks so we just had a brief no-strings fuck buddy thing till she left. She was into the whole fetish thing which I've never really looked at, so we went to a swingers club. It was enlightening, and surreal (naked men standing in giant bird cages whilst people put clothes pegs on him as they walked past, women walking men in gimp masks around the club on a lead). I wouldn't be in a rush to go back, but I'm glad I've done it and if someone really wanted to I wouldn't rule out going again, but I think I'd be a lot less comfortable if it were with a girl I actually had a real attachment to.
  • iancognito 25 Mar 2014 10:34:04 2,407 posts
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    Zomoniac wrote:...if someone really wanted to I wouldn't rule out going again...
    Is that an open invite?
  • Zomoniac 25 Mar 2014 10:39:16 8,480 posts
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    iancognito wrote:
    Zomoniac wrote:...if someone really wanted to I wouldn't rule out going again...
    Is that an open invite?
    You're welcome to go. It's in Bury. They have a nice hot tub. It's the only time I've ever been to Bury. There didn't appear to be much else there.
  • sport 25 Mar 2014 10:48:22 13,066 posts
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    ok, so far we have cognito, Zom and myself ready to hit Bury. Please PM Zom to get on the guestlist.
  • danathjo 25 Mar 2014 10:54:12 7,729 posts
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    So that's the midlands EG meet sorted, should we do The Hoist in Vauxhall for the London one?
  • beastmaster 25 Mar 2014 10:58:10 13,121 posts
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    Thread delivers!
  • FuzzyZealot 25 Mar 2014 11:05:56 425 posts
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    CharlieStCloud wrote:
    OP: TL; read quite a few times just to check.
    Then...

    CharlieStCloud wrote:
    My life is a terrible nightmare.
    Oh. The horror.

    I realise it must have been upsetting and distasteful, despite being the stuff the Internet, American Teen movies and wank mags thrive off, but there's an interesting question: Why didn't you just say no?

    So was the comment about Earl Grey anything to do with teabagging at this party?

    Edited by FuzzyZealot at 11:06:19 25-03-2014
  • neilka Funniest Forumite, 2014 25 Mar 2014 11:11:57 17,036 posts
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    As Charlie has discovered you should never put milk in Earl Grey, unless he insists.
  • elstoof 25 Mar 2014 11:13:55 9,759 posts
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    sport wrote:
    ok, so far we have cognito, Zom and myself ready to hit Bury. Please PM Zom to get on the guestlist.
    CharlieStCloud does BuryStEdmonds.
  • DaM 25 Mar 2014 11:15:18 14,170 posts
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    mcmonkeyplc wrote:
    Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with you people? 2 pages and no one has asked if Charlie was FUTA?!

    Standards are seriously slipping.
    Or was Charlie FUTA?
  • AceGrace 25 Mar 2014 11:19:19 1,823 posts
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    Are you sure you weren't watching Society?
  • Psychotext 25 Mar 2014 11:19:59 57,527 posts
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    /dons night vision glasses
  • Dirtbox 25 Mar 2014 11:20:54 81,872 posts
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    I'm not buying this top tip. He didn't try it, so doesn't have the experience required to offer advice on why anyone should be avoiding these situations. Aside from being a bit creepy and cultish, I'd have been on my knees, peeling back the uncircumcised, musky foreskins of their swollen glans in a flash. Who wouldn't?

    Fucking prude.
  • Dirtbox 25 Mar 2014 11:22:15 81,872 posts
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    I bet I could fit 4 large glans in my mouth.
  • elstoof 25 Mar 2014 11:22:43 9,759 posts
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    He would have, but the horses bolted from the stable after the first 30 seconds and he wasn't on the mood any more.
  • monkeyspasm 25 Mar 2014 11:23:56 2,858 posts
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    Bury and Bury St. Edmunds are 2 different places. Bury is oop North - I live there.

    Never heard of this club, mind (and no, I won't be going)! :D
  • neilka Funniest Forumite, 2014 25 Mar 2014 11:24:26 17,036 posts
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    Is glans really the plural of glans? Glanses? Glansen?
  • elstoof 25 Mar 2014 11:24:46 9,759 posts
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    CharlieStCloud wrote:
    I was as stiff as a wooden plank
  • Dirtbox 25 Mar 2014 11:26:58 81,872 posts
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    He should just be thankful he wasn't burned in a wicker effigy at the climax of the evening.
  • Dirtbox 25 Mar 2014 11:27:41 81,872 posts
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    neilka wrote:
    Is glans really the plural of glans? Glanses? Glansen?
    Glansi.
  • nickthegun 25 Mar 2014 11:34:22 64,316 posts
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    Zomoniac wrote:
    It's in Bury. They have a nice hot tub.
    Im a little bit OCD/phobic when it comes to germs and whatnot, so the thought of a hot tub at a sex party is genuinely one of my worst nightmares.

    A tepid sex bath..*shudder*..
  • iancognito 25 Mar 2014 11:37:03 2,407 posts
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    The internet suggests the plural is Glandes. That doesn't sound right, but if it's online it must be true.

    In my research I found the word "Megaprepuce" - a very large foreskin. I want to see that fighting Giant Octopus.

    Edited by iancognito at 11:37:18 25-03-2014
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 25 Mar 2014 11:40:18 42,410 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    Zomoniac wrote:
    It's in Bury. They have a nice hot tub.
    Im a little bit OCD/phobic when it comes to germs and whatnot, so the thought of a hot tub at a sex party is genuinely one of my worst nightmares.

    A tepid sex bath..*shudder*..
    All that semen in the water, it'd look like a snow globe.
  • beastmaster 25 Mar 2014 11:40:50 13,121 posts
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    Just be thankful they didn't start pulling animals out of sacks!
  • Madder-Max 25 Mar 2014 11:56:44 11,948 posts
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    Did he double up on one of the women and have to use a beer mat to separate his ballsack from the other fellas?

    Just wondering

    Edited by Madder-Max at 11:58:01 25-03-2014
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