Top tip -- always say 'NO' to a gang bang.

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  • CharlieStCloud 25 Mar 2014 08:00:01 5,279 posts
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    Okay, I haven't been on here for quite a while.

    ... and that's because I have been TRAUMATISED over an event, a moment and a situation I thought I'd never find myself in.

    I had been seeing an exceptionally pretty lady since the beginning of February and we seem to be made for each other except our preference on Earl Grey (and you most certainly don't put milk in first).

    We went to a particularly plush country mansion that was not far from the Norfolk Broads in which we were the tenth and final guests; I did not know anyone, but she knew them all. I was the youngest by a bit and they were all rather pleasant (and good looking) folks.

    After a lovely dinner and a couple of drinks we all went to the living room and crowded around the fireplace whereby I sat on the so-called Grandad chair. It was comfortable and I was enjoying the company.

    Um, so ... the next hour or so was the entire opposite of the word 'comfortable'.

    The guy who was furthest away from me started kissing his partner. Nothing unusual about that, right? The guy who was furthest way from me started caressing her in open view. Nothing unusual about that, right? The guy who was furthest way from me started to put his hands down her skirt and rubbing pretty intensely. In front of us.

    NOTHING UNUSUAL ABOUT THAT, RIGHT?

    Then it just kind of happened, albeit very gradually, like everyone was taking their turns to watch and pursue the sexual motions. I was as stiff as a wooden plank, as in not believing what was going on right in front of me and was unable to move or utter a word other than the occasional glance at the lady I was with.

    And there goes the question:

    'Would you like to join us?'

    She was asking ME this? Are you quite mad? What on Earth has gone to your head? Where do these people come from? Why is this happening like it is a formal and of a normality sequence of events?

    In other words, I didn't say 'NO'.

    It was surreal. I didn't like it, yet there was something very invasive about doing the deed with other peoples partners to the point that it felt ... fine. I most certainly didn't enjoy looking at the lady I was with going inside the other men and I most certainly did NOT LIKE THE MEN TOUCHING MY WILLY!

    The car journey home was as awkward as one could imagine. I wanted to say, 'does this happen a lot?' and 'why did you put me in that position with nary a word let alone a hint of sorts?'.

    We don't see each other anymore.

    The only words of comfort I can give you fine folks is that if you're in the situation I was in, no matter how attractive the people are, please, for the love of all things good, say 'no'.

    : (
  • Mola_Ram 25 Mar 2014 08:01:38 7,654 posts
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    /deckchair
  • RyanDS 25 Mar 2014 08:02:23 9,577 posts
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    CharlieStCloud wrote:

    I had been seeing an exceptionally pretty lady since the beginning of February and we seem to be made for each other except our preference on Earl Grey (and you most certainly don't put milk in first).
    You put milk in Earl Grey tea? What sort of fucking deviant are you?
  • Benno 25 Mar 2014 08:04:57 10,001 posts
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    a nice light early morning read over breakfast, thanks
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 25 Mar 2014 08:05:18 38,628 posts
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    Prude.

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Murbal 25 Mar 2014 08:06:15 22,352 posts
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    RyanDS wrote:
    CharlieStCloud wrote:

    I had been seeing an exceptionally pretty lady since the beginning of February and we seem to be made for each other except our preference on Earl Grey (and you most certainly don't put milk in first).
    You put milk in Earl Grey tea? What sort of fucking deviant are you?
    \o/
  • Trowel 25 Mar 2014 08:07:38 17,901 posts
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    CharlieStCloud wrote:
    I most certainly didn't enjoy looking at the lady I was with going inside the other men
    Milk before tea is the least of your worries.
  • Zomoniac 25 Mar 2014 08:11:08 7,850 posts
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    I see nothing wrong with said events. Either enjoy partaking or choose not to.
  • Pinky_Floyd 25 Mar 2014 08:11:38 8,030 posts
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    GUM time.
  • danathjo 25 Mar 2014 08:13:27 7,428 posts
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    If ever in doubt listen to Nate Dogg cause it ain't no fun if the homies can't haaaave some
  • Mola_Ram 25 Mar 2014 08:14:29 7,654 posts
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    You're in the minority in your discomfort, mate. It's been statistically proven that 9/10 people enjoy gang bangs.
  • StarchildHypocrethes 25 Mar 2014 08:20:33 26,136 posts
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    CharlieStCloud wrote:
    I most certainly didn't enjoy looking at the lady I was with going inside the other men
    Seems there was something else he failed to mention to you.
  • mrpon 25 Mar 2014 08:24:12 29,183 posts
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    What a wet weekend.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Deckard1 25 Mar 2014 08:25:47 28,680 posts
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    So you went to an old person orgy. Classy.
  • askew 25 Mar 2014 08:26:24 12,412 posts
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    Is this going to be on Made iIn Chelsea?
  • DUFFMAN5 25 Mar 2014 08:26:51 14,953 posts
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    Lyn, These are sex people...
    Hard core Benny HIll
    Sex Festival

    "Duffman the grey is thrusting in the direction of the problem! Oh, yeah!"

  • DUFFMAN5 25 Mar 2014 08:27:16 14,953 posts
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    Don't rub your fanny on me ;)

    "Duffman the grey is thrusting in the direction of the problem! Oh, yeah!"

  • Ziz0u 25 Mar 2014 08:27:20 8,474 posts
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    You lead an adventurous life.
  • fletch7100 25 Mar 2014 08:27:20 7,348 posts
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    I'm sure a certain EG forum user with his special NVGs will be asking about any follow up meetings
  • grey_matters 25 Mar 2014 08:28:01 3,792 posts
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    arials101 wrote:
    Is the OP sure this was a gang bang? It sounds a bit more like a orgy/swingers party.
    Is the OP sure it was Earl Grey? It sounds a bit more like PG Tips/Tetley.

    Edited by grey_matters at 08:29:12 25-03-2014
  • Mola_Ram 25 Mar 2014 08:28:06 7,654 posts
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    I think it's called a 'lemon party'. I can't be bothered explaining it here, but you can always try a google search.
  • nickthegun 25 Mar 2014 08:28:24 60,415 posts
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    Dear Razzle,

    You won't believe the fictitious events on the Norfolk broads this weekend....

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
    He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller

  • FWB 25 Mar 2014 08:30:51 44,833 posts
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    More people to disappoint, eh?

    Did your partner not run this by you before? No hints?
  • fletch7100 25 Mar 2014 08:32:21 7,348 posts
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    StarchildHypocrethes wrote:
    CharlieStCloud wrote:
    I most certainly didn't enjoy looking at the lady I was with going inside the other men
    Seems there was something else he failed to mention to you.
    This is why the car journey home was awkward

    nsfw
  • TheMayorOfJugs 25 Mar 2014 08:37:36 3,966 posts
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    Ya, other people fucking my gf would result in strangulation, and not the fun kind.

    Was wondering where you'd been Charlie. Bit shitty not to get any heads up, deer in the headlights moment for you I'm sure.

    Maybe she thought you'd like the surprise?
    Sounds like it'd have to be exclusive for it to work for you anyway so..... It wasn't meant to be. At least you know now rather than a year down the road. Try not to dwell on it, move on as quick as possible.

    ..... And now to ruin the sentiment......
    They probably didn't wash their hands before touching your willy.
    They probably didn't even think your willy was great.
    They touch everyones willy, you're not even special.

    Etc.
  • Rodpad 25 Mar 2014 08:38:35 1,951 posts
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  • TheMayorOfJugs 25 Mar 2014 08:40:40 3,966 posts
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    Mola_Ram wrote:
    I think it's called a 'lemon party'. I can't be bothered explaining it here, but you can always try a google search.
    30 rock set up the cleverest joke I've ever heard with lemon party.

    Main woman's surname is Lemon.
    Dad's name is Richard.
    He hosts a big massive hoohah.
    Ends up telling someone:

    You can't have a Lemon party without old Dick!
  • warlockuk 25 Mar 2014 08:46:11 19,185 posts
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    I honestly can't believe what I've just read. It's not even NINE in the morning for fuck's sake.

    What is the point of posting that shit? There's no possible way you can look like a hero.

    I mean seriously, milk in fucking Earl Grey? You sicken me. Ban.

    I'm a grumpy bastard.

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