I think its very hard to take a fools advice in this, if you had asked me in 2006 when everything was peachy and we were 3 years into our marriage, I would have given the same answer as many of you, "no regrets, its awesome!" |
Unfortunately its often something that you look back on in hind-sight, which is why after going through everything I went through I can sort of analyse where things went wrong (the first tine around) all those little concessions I made (I say little, we had 150 people at our wedding and our families do not get along) and what basically amounted to stuff going wrong. Add in the self-importance my partner and emphasise she put on the day. It was a recipe for disaster, right from the get go.
The reason we got back together was because she grew up a lot in the almost 2 years we were apart, she now knows that a big fancy wedding doesn't make a marriage. She understands that she put too much into a big day and when it failed to live up to her expectations (even though I gave her everything she wanted) her resentment eventually pushed us apart. And over little things too. Like she had this stupidly long trailing veil, that I accidentally stepped on and put my foot through because the material was so delicate, basically ruined the day she said, and she never forgot it either. Over the next few years it ate at her.
Like I said earlier, things are going well between us again, she doesn't get so frustrated at little things that crop up any more (she's certainly not as absolute these days - for example if one little thing doesn't go her way she doesn't write the whole thing off as "ruined" ) and we don't even need marriage to define our relationship any more either, which is how it should have been in the first place. If we do get re-married it will be a small affair.
But I'm glad everything is going well for everyone else.
Edited by ZuluHero at 10:49:48 08-07-2013