Killing your husband/wife - hypothetically, obvs...

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  • Deleted user 17 May 2013 12:25:01
    Any ideas of how to do this and not goto jail?
    Divorce means sharing the children and my kids having to have random women pretending to be their mum when he gets new girlfriends.
  • monkman76 17 May 2013 12:26:10 4,163 posts
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    /neilka explodes
  • graysonavich 17 May 2013 12:26:13 7,320 posts
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    Invite him onto the forum and I'm sure he'll kill himself
  • Deleted user 17 May 2013 12:26:30
    What about random men pretending to be their dads?

    Edited by mowgli at 12:26:51 17-05-2013
  • twelveways 17 May 2013 12:26:34 3,971 posts
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    The first thing I would do is post it on a forum.
  • monkman76 17 May 2013 12:26:56 4,163 posts
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    mowgli wrote:
    What about random men pretending to be their dad's?
    Their dad's what?
  • nickthegun 17 May 2013 12:28:07 59,416 posts
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    monkman76 wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    What about random men pretending to be their dad's?
    Their dad's what?
    Their dad?

    PEDANTRY FAIL

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Murbal 17 May 2013 12:28:23 22,073 posts
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    Smells like premeditation to me. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200.
  • monkman76 17 May 2013 12:28:57 4,163 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    monkman76 wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    What about random men pretending to be their dad's?
    Their dad's what?
    Their dad?

    PEDANTRY FAIL
    You've lost me.
  • Load_2.0 17 May 2013 12:29:05 19,131 posts
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    Kill him by meeting up with a man from the internet. Possibly a New Zealander....

    Definitely not Neilka though. Not after the last time.
  • nickthegun 17 May 2013 12:29:55 59,416 posts
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    monkman76 wrote:
    nickthegun wrote:
    monkman76 wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    What about random men pretending to be their dad's?
    Their dad's what?
    Their dad?

    PEDANTRY FAIL
    You've lost me.
    IT IS I WHO FAIL PEDANTRY. CARRY ON.

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    He totally called it

  • Deleted user 17 May 2013 12:30:02
    monkman76 wrote:
    mowgli wrote:
    What about random men pretending to be their dad's?
    Their dad's what?
    How fucking fast are you. I noticed the mistake (auto correct) while my phone was loading the comment and edited straight away!
  • sickpuppysoftware 17 May 2013 12:30:07 1,324 posts
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    Is everybody who looks at this post going on a list somewhere?

    You cannot stop me with paramecium alone!

  • monkman76 17 May 2013 12:30:13 4,163 posts
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    \o/
  • nickthegun 17 May 2013 12:30:27 59,416 posts
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    OR HAVE I? DAMN YOU COMMAS!

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    He totally called it

  • nickthegun 17 May 2013 12:30:51 59,416 posts
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    OR APOSTROPHES EITHER!

    FUCK THIS NOISE!

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Psychotext 17 May 2013 12:30:54 53,931 posts
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    You are my sister AICMFP.
  • neilka 17 May 2013 12:32:04 15,844 posts
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    I'll need an address and a time
  • Deckard1 17 May 2013 12:32:09 27,670 posts
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    Nicks gone locco!

    Hush you ponce

  • nickthegun 17 May 2013 12:32:59 59,416 posts
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    I switched to cruise control. Im back now:

    Drive him to suicide with incessant nagging.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Deckard1 17 May 2013 12:34:22 27,670 posts
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    Jive talk him to death. Ma nigga.

    Edited by Deckard1 at 12:34:36 17-05-2013

    Hush you ponce

  • Deleted user 17 May 2013 12:34:33
    mowgli wrote:
    What about random men pretending to be their dads?
    I wouldn't let new men meet them. They don't need more than one dad, obviously if it became serious then maybe but not for well over a year.
  • kinky_mong 17 May 2013 12:35:02 10,122 posts
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    Let him catch you offering the builders a "banger in the mouth", then he will possibly kill himself, or try to kill one of the builders and be sent to jail.

    I'll never get my Orc looking the same again.

  • nickthegun 17 May 2013 12:35:55 59,416 posts
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    How could you date a man for a year without him meeting your litter?

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • B0rked_Gamer 17 May 2013 12:37:20 2,550 posts
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    Pepsipop wrote:
    Any ideas of how to do this and not goto jail?
    Divorce means sharing the children and my kids having to have random women pretending to be their mum when he gets new girlfriends.
    Play the victim card, say he hit you and get everything.

    obv
  • TheSaint 17 May 2013 12:38:02 14,292 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    How could you date a man for a year without him meeting your litter?
    That's what Premier Inns are for.
  • evilashchris 17 May 2013 12:41:39 6,970 posts
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    Choke him to death with your mimsy. A crime of passion no Judge would put you away for.

    Twitter: @COToole

  • Lethally-Obese 17 May 2013 12:43:06 69 posts
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    - Learn to cook really well
    - Make em fatter and fatter (but remember to say that you still love him/her the way they are, even though that's obviously a lie)
    - Diseases, depressions, heart problems etc. will take care of the rest
    - Make sure he/she has life insurance
    - Profit

    Also, as a tip on the side: You're free to have affairs once they're fat, they won't leave you because they won't be able to get anyone else.
  • kinky_mong 17 May 2013 12:44:26 10,122 posts
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    Anyone else feel really sorry for Revan's husband?

    Working hard all day to provide for his family while she's at home playing computer games, flirting with spoddy nerds online, getting a length from the builders, and now plotting to have him killed.

    I'll never get my Orc looking the same again.

  • Deleted user 17 May 2013 12:45:23
    TheSaint wrote:
    nickthegun wrote:
    How could you date a man for a year without him meeting your litter?
    That's what Premier Inns are for.
    I don't know but I'd imagine it wouldn't be too hard, just wouldn't be able to see each other more than two or three times a week.

    Wouldn't most men like that?

    I thought mushroom soup, but poisonous ones. I eat a tiny bit too so I have to get admitted to hospital but make his really strong so he dies and I recover. 'he made the soup'.
    Admittedly v risky as there would be no guarantee I would survive.
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